So I had this idea….and so I wrote the first part. This is a 2 part fic, please tell me if I should continue or not. And please tell me if the whole faberry thing is way too fast because I feel like it is but isn't at the same time because they just connect ya know? =P
Anyway, REVIEW tell me what you think =D
The pink hair, the punk clothes, she was rebelling. She thought if she was a good girl and did everything right, her God wouldn't take it away. She thought that maybe she would get better. But every doctor in every town she'd been to continue to tell her that there's no hope.
She'll be blind by 22.
Well not completely.
They call it retinitis pigmentosa; an eye disease that damages the retina and slowly tunnels your vision to only a mere pinpoint. And now, at 18, she couldn't drive. Not legally anyway. They had taken her license, her eyes no longer able to give her the necessary peripherals for the task.
She had tunnel vision.
She cried that day.
What kind of senior can't even drive herself to school? That's why she started riding the bus at the end of junior year. That's where she met the skanks for the first time. That's when she realized how much she had in common with them. They all seemed to have a reason they were 'skanks.'
She quit the Cheerios. It was mainly for her safety. Her ability with hand-eye coordination was seriously lacking for the necessary maneuvers that the she-devil wanted her to attempt. She quit Glee because the new dance steps were making it difficult not to create another nose disaster. She couldn't see the person next to her to make sure she was on time. In essence:
She couldn't keep up.
And that hurt her more than anything. She was fit and capable but her eyes were failing her. Her God was failing her.
Some God he was.
So that's how Quinn found herself standing under the bleachers without her God and with nothing but a cigarette in her hand and a foot kicked back as she rested against the cement dugout. She always did like baseball better than football. Cuter boys maybe?
Quinn laughed at her own joke. Boys…
She was alone under there this lunch break due to the other skanks getting suspended for tagging the administration building the day before. They had asked if she wanted to join in but she had declined stating she did her own doodling in certain other places of the school. They didn't believe her but what did it matter? That just meant that at least she didn't get caught.
Quinn took another drag from her cigarette, staring unblinkingly at the flagpole stood in front of the school. Her eyes were tunneled in a way she could only see what was directly in front of her.
"With every breath from that cigarette you're ruining your vocal cords not to mention your lungs. It's a disaster to your health." Quinn attempted to mask her blatant flinch from being scared by standing up straight. Her eyes traveled left catching a head of brown hair and small, knee sock covered legs. Rachel Berry in the flesh. "Sorry didn't mean to frighten you."
"Yeah well it's hard to notice someone so small." Quinn stated staring at the girl for a second before looking back at her flagpole and resuming her stance against the wall.
The one thing good about gradually losing your sight was the heightened hearing. Quinn heard the almost silent scoff from the diva and smiled despite herself. "That's just rude Quinn. Just rude!"
"I never gave you any reason to think I was polite." Quinn stated throwing it out there before she had time to stop her mouth. That was a little out of character for her to be open to talking about her guilt about everything. Especially Rachel.
"No I guess not." Rachel sighed, quite loudly if Quinn had any say about it. "I just wanted to know what happened to you, Quinn." Quinn laughed as she took one last drag before stamping it out on the wall and letting the butt fall to the ground that was littered with others. "I thought we were friends and friends are always there if their friends are going through some hardship. So I just want to say that I'm here for you if you need me."
"Why do you care?"
"Because I know what it's like." Quinn scoffed at the statement turning to face the small brunette. "I know what it's like to think everyone is against you. I know what its like to feel like you've tried everything but you're never able to get what you want. I know what its like to believe you're so utterly alone in the world."
There was a pause before Rachel added, "Just believe that God has a plan."
Quinn laughed loudly at that finding humor in an otherwise serious conversation. "I'm just supposed to believe in your God? I'm just supposed to pray and believe that that he'll fix me." She asked when she finally settled down.
"He's your God, too."
The former blonde shook her head with a sad smile. "Not for a while now, Pixie."
"Now I don't believe that. I know you still believe in him, you just lost a little faith in him." Rachel stepped closer to the girl as she spoke. "You may resent him for whatever reason, but don't you dare think that you shouldn't believe he has a plan."
She didn't know when this conversation became so emotional…or religious, but all she knew was that she needed to leave. She needed to run before Rachel saw something in her that wasn't there…at least not anymore.
Quinn quickly picked up her bag on the floor and shot past the small girl. "Don't run from me, Quinn. Please?" the plea easily reached her ears and she hesitated for a split second before shaking her head and continuing on her way not even sparing a glance to the girl she up and left.
She wasn't sure if the Skanks were still suspended or if they just found better things to do than attend school. Honestly she would have followed if she had known that Rachel Berry would make a habit of stopping by every day at lunch.
She had been watching her, Quinn could feel it. Even though Quinn never actually caught the girl staring at her, she knew Rachel was watching. Always watching.
It infuriated her more than it should have. But it was unnerving to be scrutinized by someone you aren't even friends with. But then again, Rachel was the only person who seemed to care at all about what was happening with her. It was obvious she cared by her always showing up at lunch ready to pound her cigarette into the ground.
After the first two times it happened, she made a point to not be under her normal bleachers and instead hid in the 2nd floor girl's bathroom pulling some extra cash from some measly freshmen.
But Berry found her.
So she kept changing her location for the next week. Then she never stayed in one place for more then 10 minutes.
But Berry always found her.
She was getting tired of the little Pixie always knowing where she was. But it was Friday and she missed her smoke break and so Quinn found herself under her bleachers once again puffing that beautiful cancer stick.
"I really wish you would stop smoking. Just think about the person you're going to kiss. It's unhygienic for you to taste like an ash tray." Rachel Berry appeared almost out of nowhere. But Quinn didn't flinch this time; she'd come to expect the light-footed Diva at any point during her break.
"I'll make sure we don't spontaneously end up in a lip lock. Wouldn't want to put you out." Quinn smirked taking another drag. She glanced over looking at the flushed face of the brunette making her smirk widen. "So, to what do I owe the honor of your presence today, Pixie. Surely you're tired of my face by now."
Rachel's cheeks tinged pink as a barely audible "I could never get tired" was heard by Quinn's bat like ears. Quinn felt a swirl in her stomach at the comment and coughed trying to mask her awkwardness.
This wasn't a new feeling, the butterflies in her stomach. She just couldn't believe that with one statement, Rachel Berry was able to make her feel it. It didn't scare her either that it was a girl. Over the summer she came to find more about herself by befriending the skanks than she had being friends with Brittany and Santana. The thought had saddened her at first, but she realized that they all lived under their parents eyes…they were all scared of their parents. There was no way the Unholy Trinity were ever going to grow when under the thumbs of parents.
That's why Quinn felt bad for Santana. That's why she refused to go back with them. They needed to see. They needed to come to her.
Rachel's eyes fell to the floor with a furrowed brow before locking eyes with her. "I can help you, Quinn." The statement pulled Quinn out of her musings. She saw the sincerity in the statement and wanted to scream.
"As you've said before….and yet I have yet to see your God fix me." Quinn answered.
"Not my God, Quinn. Me. I can help you." Rachel stated taking steps closer to the smoking girl.
"You don't even know what's wrong with me." Quinn's eyebrow arched up at the slowly advancing girl. Silence befell the two, as she grew closer. Rachel stopped directly in front of Quinn. In her eyes she left space enough for them both but to Quinn she felt her world closing in, all she saw was the face of Rachel standing in front of her, the rest pitched in never ending darkness.
"Breathe." Rachel stated at the tense girl. Quinn let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding and quickly inhaled only to exhale right after. She couldn't catch her breath. She tried to keep this from happening, this closeness with other people because sooner or later they'd realize her fear. She couldn't have them holding it over her head.
She was afraid. That's all she was, a scared little girl with her life being irreversibly plunged into black.
She started sleeping with a night-light again.
A small hand on her right rib cage had her inhaling and actually breathing. "I know Quinn. Just breathe. It's just me. I'm here to help you."
"You can't help me." Quinn wheezed about to push the too-close-girl away.
She was stopped by a hand placing itself on her cheek and tracing under her eye. "I can help you, Quinn." Quinn felt tears leak from the corners of her eyes. She knew. Rachel knew. She knew and she still believed that she could help her. Quinn felt like someone punched her in the gut. Now she needed to scream. "Trust me, Quinn."
The scream died in her throat as she watched the girl in front of her, her eyes roaming her entire face. She hadn't been this close to another human being in months, almost a year. You don't realize the necessity of human touch and interaction until you live without it for so long. Her mouth felt dry and as she opened her mouth, her lips wouldn't move and no sound was emitted. She slowly nodded.
A smile spread across Rachel's face as she looked into her eyes. Quinn felt exposed. "Close your eyes."
Quinn's eyebrow rose again taking in the command from the small Diva. "A lot good that will do." She husked out. It was weird to talk about it with someone other than her family and Doctors. It was kind of freeing. Her panic attack was all but gone, but she definitely felt calmer than before.
"Trust me." Rachel was adamant. She moved her hand and hovered them over Quinn's eyes as she closed them. Quinn felt a slight chill run through her from the intimacy of the gesture and how close Rachel was to her. She could feel the breath of the girl on her face and she grimaced. Quinn quickly closed her mouth and focused on breathing out of her nose. Rachel didn't deserve an ashtray.
It was then she realized she had dropped her cigarette at some point. She hadn't noticed.
A second passed maybe more but Quinn felt Rachel's hand leave her eyes and travel down her cheek settling against the crook between her shoulder and her neck. "You can open them now." Rachel said laughing a little at how tightly Quinn was clenching her eyes.
Quinn felt the air leave her in a large gust. That was it?
She opened her eyes and almost fainted at how devastating it all was. Tears immediately fell as she looked around and then at the girl in front of her. Rachel had her eyes shut tight with her lip worried between her teeth.
Quinn threw her arms around the girl lifting her up in the air in a twirl. She was laughing and cheering as she set the girl back down. She turned and ran to the fence and just…looked. At everything, all at once. I grand picture that she used to take for granted.
"Quinn…" A tentative voice called from behind her. She turned and saw Rachel still standing with her eyes closed but with a smile on her lips.
"God Rachel…I can't…This is…How did?" She couldn't figure out what to say. All she knew was that she could see again.
"It's a gift. From me to you." Rachel stated still not opening her eyes. Still standing where Quinn set her down. Still smiling with a lip caught between pearly white teeth. "I was born with a gift. I could heal those wounded and wash away worries. But you need to understand that I can't cure disease. I can't cure the sick…but I can bestow a gift."
"Rachel, what are you saying?" Quinn was confused. She was healed, she could see. But she had a disease. "I don't understand."
It was then that Rachel opened her eyes. Hazel orbs looked straight into brown and Quinn felt her heart drop. She'd given Quinn her eyes.
Quinn watched as hazel eyes blinked repeatedly trying to rid the blackness from her vision. It wouldn't go away. She had tried that for several days straight once. She hurried over to the newly blinded girl and clutched her by the arms. "Why?" She choked out. "What have you done? I can't accept this, Rachel. Take them back. Take 'em back!" Quinn yelled as fresh tears started to fall from her eyes. These weren't the same as before though. These stuck to her cheeks and made her itch with the need to wipe them.
But she wouldn't wipe them away; these were Rachel's tears.
"You can, Quinn. It's already done." Rachel said with a smile as her hand came up to wipe her tears. Quinn started to cry harder.
"I didn't want this. I took your sight, Rachel. You don't understand what that means yet. The blackness…will eat at you. It will change you into a monster." Quinn looked down at her clothes and felt the sudden need to pull everything off. What had she become?
Quinn let go and started scratching at her wrists trying to break the bands she tied on. She pulled at her hair disgusted with herself.
"No, I don't believe that." Rachel stated catching Quinn's wrists. "If you're such a monster…then why are you so willing to take back your eyes?"
"Because you don't deserve to be in the dark, Rachel. You're meant for so much more."
"You're willing to give up your eye sight for me, the girl you used to torment daily but have only this year come to befriend...even when you say I was getting on your nerves. You allowed me to stay with you at lunch. You could have very easily just walked away from me each and every time, but you stayed." Rachel let go of Quinn's wrists and set a hand to Quinn's cheek. "This is who I am, Quinn. I'm a giver and I'm your friend."
"I can't take this from you."
"Well I'm not taking it back."
"Dammit Rachel do you have to be so stubborn all the time?" Quinn narrowed her eyes at the girl. "You didn't even let me choose. I wouldn't have chosen this. Never."
"And that's why you've changed. And that's why I felt you deserved it, Quinn."
Silence engulfed them. Quinn let out a breath as she leant her forehead to Rachel's and just stared into her eyes. Her own hazel eyes. The things that tormented her the most and yet Rachel was so willing to take on.
She didn't know how long they stood there just staring at one another but she heard the bell toll for lunch break to be over and they still didn't move. They just stood there, watching and waiting and letting everything sink in.
She could see again.