Here is the first chapter of one of my stories I am busy writing. (Yes, that is right, I'm not posting all my stories here because to be frank they are not very good) I love feed back from my readers so please, just hit the review button and tell me what ya think.
Everything was so bright—almost blinding. The purple aurora engulfed the world bringing some whole land masses together. Some smaller pieces were banged out the way, but all in all the world was becoming solid. All this was happening because of a certain purple dragon named Spyro. This young dragon was the savior of this fragile world after it was nearly destroyed by Malefor, another purple dragon, but one of an opposite character. This tall and muscular dragon wanted to destroy this planet to bring about a great cleansing. This plan would have worked if it wasn't for Spyro and his friend Cynder. Cynder was once under the control of Malefor and her purpose was solely to obey her evil master's wishes. Now—after Spyro had saved her—she was as gentle as a flower, even though she could be very stubborn. These three dragons are the main characters in this story. One evil, the next good, and the other somewhere in between...
Eight Years After Malefor's Defeat...
The sun beamed strongly over the green planet below. A tender flower opened in the light and its soft orange petals enjoyed the warmth. It tilted toward the source of the heat and light then stayed still.
"Beat you to the lake!" A young black dragoness with a pink underbelly, wing membranes and silver horns called. Her name is Cynder.
"Not if I can get there first!" A purple dragon with a golden underbelly and wing membranes replied gleefully. This dragon's name is Spyro.
The young flower, in the distance, watched as the dragons played like young hatchlings. These two dragons are in fact no longer teenagers but adults, but that didn't stop them and their childish ways. After all they did miss out on nearly all their childhood because of Malefor. But since he was gone and no longer a threat they could enjoy themselves like youngsters. Cynder, with the help of her wind element, started to get ahead of Spyro. They where almost there, Spyro was quite far behind. Just as Cynder was nearing the cool waters Spyro dropped the the ground and charged forward then leaped into the air and surged ahead of Cynder with a comet dash by the help of his fire element.
"Beat ya!" He grinned. Cynder ignored the comment and drank the cold waters. Spyro, still grinning, sat down beside her and also refreshed himself. As Cynder rose a few small droplets of clear water dripped down from her muzzle and rippled the water at her paws. She dreamily looked into the water. Instead of seeing a dainty, slender dragoness; the reflection was a evil, tall dragoness. Cynder didn't jump back in fright, she only looked at it in interest. But as soon as it appeared the shape change to normal. Cynder's heart started to beat slightly faster, but she ignored the urge to fly away and turned to Spyro.
"What do you want to do?" She yawned.
"We better return home, you know Volteer doesn't favor watching over eggs." Spyro winked and Cynder giggled.
"Yes, we had better go," Cynder agreed. She walked up to her mate and tenderly nuzzled him. He, in turn, lovingly nuzzled her back. He slithered his tail around hers and curled them together. Like this they walked into a nice clearing and walked down a long hole. As they entered another dragon left almost immediately afterwards. He was yellow all over with a navy blue underbelly and wing membranes. He was Volteer, the guardian of the element electricity. He stretched as he exited the hole and looked to the sky. He was soon flying away to the city of Warfang, the home of many dragons and moles alike. It was one of the cities that was sieged during the battle of good and evil, the battle against Malefor. Luckily for Warfang and its residents, Spyro and Cynder escaped from a deadly Golem and was granted passage through the forbidden tunnel by Prowlous, the chief of the Cheetah village in the valley a Avalar, not far from the place Spyro and Cynder were raising their eggs, they made it to the city in the nick of time to save it. Now deep within the tunnel the dragon and dragoness were in a main hall underground. Inside it was a straw bed and a few clay tables and pots, next to the bed was a hump of tender straw and soft soil, within was a batch of three eggs. One was pink, the other yellow, the next a deep blue. These eggs where anxiously awaited to hatch by their loving mother, Cynder, and their patient father, Spyro. Cynder playful pushed Spyro away so that she could see the eggs first, checking for any signs of cracking. Disappointed she turned away and sat down in her bed. Spyro then checked the eggs and also saw no signs of hatching. He sighed and sat down next to his mate.
"Maybe it is the environment they are in." Cynder suggested looking at the tunnel made years ago by earth dragons.
"No, these should be able to hatch here, it is too dangerous to bring them up anyway." Spyro replied. He shifted his weight and watched the eggs in interest.
"What's the matter?" Cynder asked as she stared into the complex face of her mate.
"Nothing much, I guess I'm just excited for the eggs to hatch." Spyro shrugged. In fact that was not the reason for his worried expression. Lately groups of apes that were once apart of Malefor's army before he cast them out, because of their greed, were attacking lone dragons and taking them somewhere. Once a dragon disappeared it was never seen or heard of again. These happenings were strange, but Spyro didn't have time to investigate. All his strength and time were absorbed in keeping his eggs and Cynder safe. A patter of feet alerted Spyro that something was above his home. He carefully and silently lifted from the bed and walked to the tunnel entrance. There was an ape looking about the area. Spyro held his ground not taking his eyes off that ape for a single second. Its every move was processed in the purple dragon's mind, the sniffing in the air, the glances sideways and its pacing. Everything it did indicted that it was alone. Spyro had to get rid of it before others could come. With stealth he crawled out on his hunches and eased up behind the unsuspecting creature. With a soundless pounce Spyro dives one the ape. He used his ice element to freeze the ape and make its movements slow and cause it to be easily killed. He grabbed the stunned creature and bashed it side to side so that it was senseless. In its weakened state the ape was destroyed swiftly and painlessly. Spyro then proceeded to drag the body away and buried it under a random tree. Soon he was back in his home. He saw Cynder was gone. His mind became alert and he searched for her. Finally he found her—curled asleep in the straw bed. He smiled and snuggled next to her, soon fast asleep.
In the middle of the night Spyro awoke. Why he had no idea, but something inside of him was boiling in excitement. He checked on Cynder, and she too was awake, the same feeling running through her. They both looked over their bed and to their joy and excitement their eggs were hatching. Cynder was the first to jump out followed shortly by Spyro. The two dragons grinned like two school children. Slowly a pink paw broke through the pink egg . The paw retreated back into the enclosure. Spyro and Cynder could see two big green eyes peering at them from inside the shell. Their heart skipped a beat, this was their first hatchling. A giggle echoed inside the egg. Spyro and Cynder urged it to come out but the hatchling didn't seem to understand and it just slouched down and cuddled in the enclosure. Spyro and Cynder sighed in frustration, they knew that if it didn't come out soon they would be forced to help it and then it would never be as strong as a normal dragon. Suddenly their attention was drawn to the yellow egg. It started to glow, a bright lightening glow. Suddenly it bust open and displayed a fat little hatchling before its surprised parents. Never had a dragon mastered its element so early in life. Spyro grinned and picked up the hatchling. It was a little boy. Cynder then stepped next to Spyro and nuzzled to hatchling affectionately and gently.
"What shall we call him?" She asked.
"How about Flash?" Spyro suggested. Cynder nodded her head eagerly like an excited foal. She then looked back into the nest and sighed. The pink little hatchling was still not out its egg. Suddenly the blue egg started to shake. Spyro put Flash onto the bed and he watched the nest eagerly. A small crack started crawling up the shell. Cynder shifted her wait side to side, impatiently waiting for the egg to open. This was her first group of hatchlings. The blue egg's cracking ceased. Cynder gasped in disappointment. Was it okay? Spyro stepped up to it and felt the shell. Nothing stirred. He looked sorrowfully at Cynder. She felt tears swelling in her eyes. Spyro placed a wing over her should and she lent her head on his shoulders. The eggs started to wiggle. Cynder opened her eyes wide while joy and relief. The egg then split in half and Cynder with Spyro saw another hatchling. This one was dark blue like the ocean and had a golden underbelly and wing membranes like its father. Spyro picked it up and surprisingly it was a baby girl. Cynder smiled, Spyro grinned.
"Her name?" Cynder inquired.
"Frosty?" Spyro questioned.
"Hmm, I like that." Cynder yawned. She stretched, feeling completely happy and content. The hatchlings were put to bed and Spyro with Cynder slept thought the night.
Early the next morning the two dragons awoke. Feeling refreshed after the busy night Cynder crawled out her side of the bed to see the hatchlings. He heart turned to ice. She, in the joy of the two hatchings, forgot about the little pink dragon still inside its egg. She tore away at the straw and she felt her tears flowing down her cheeks. The hatchling was still alive, but barely. It was very weak, the night was cold and being inside and egg shell without any straw of warmth had taken its toll. Cynder broke open the rest of the egg and picked the baby gently out of its shattered shell. Inside Cynder's paws she saw the hatchling was a little girl, she was so very cold. Cynder got back into her bed and tried to warm the little thing. Spyro then woke and yawned. After he stretched he saw Cynder. A chill ran down his spine, what was Cynder holding? He stepped closer and Cynder looked up.
"Can we call her Blush?" Cynder whispered as she choked down her tears. Spyro understood, he hated himself for forgetting about his daughter. He should have remembered, he just wished that now she could survive.
"Sure, Cynder." Spyro said softly. He took a closer look at Blush, the pink dragoness. She was a darkish pink with a light green underbelly and wing membranes. She had four horns, all green and pointing backwards. Her green eyes that had been so bright the night before were now dull and nearly void. Spyro got up and went to see the other two hatchlings. He couldn't stand the sight of his near to death daughter and tearful mate. Flash and Frosty were enjoying a game of tag in their straw nest. They didn't understand about their sister, they most likely would never meet her. Spyro tried to push down the lump that started to form in his throat. He turned away and walked outside to find something to eat and bring to Cynder.
A week later and Blush was still alive, thanks to Cynder's careful care and Spyro's loving attention. Flash and Frosty had grow to nearly double their size and they were very active. It almost seemed like they took Blush's energy. Spyro was teaching them to hunt and scout, even make mud articles. They all lived life to the fullest. There wasn't an ape attack for a while and peace reined in that little area. Volteer and Terrador along with Cyril on a few occasions came to visit. They were still seeking a new Fire Guardian and where undecided whether to choose Magnitus or Flamer. Both were well train fire dragons. Volteer had taken a liking to the weak, pink dragoness. Blush seemed to be his personal favorite. Whenever he was around her his talkativeness slowed down and his rumblings became soft whispers. The hatchling too like the electricity dragon. Unlike her brother and sister though, she didn't have to energy to learn to talk, so she was a mute dragoness and no one could tell what she was thinking.
"We are going to go she the specialist today in Warfang," commented Cynder as she dried a few dishes after an early breakfast.
"I want all of you looking your best and acting well behaved!" She added, receiving groans from around the house.
"I got to go to check up on the might-to-be Fire Guardians," Spyro said as he kissed Cynder before snatching up a beef sandwich and heading out the door. Cynder smiled as he left, but as soon as his tail disappeared from around the bend she became a stern mother once again.
"Come on everyone, chop, chop!" She clapped her paws to get their attention before sending them to their bedrooms to tidy up.
"Mom, Flash is hogging the bathroom!" Frosty whined.
"I got here first!" He shouted in response. Cynder held her head in her paws and groaned. Never did she think a parent's job could be so frustrating.
"Flash, hurry up so that your sister can wash her face too!" Cynder snapped.
"But..." Flash paused before continuing, "I'm still dirty!" Cynder rolled her big green eyes.
"Frosty, go and wash your face in the river out back!" Cynder ordered. Frosty gave her big eyes and whimpered. Such a display usually changed her mother's mind, but this time Cynder was set on getting out early and nothing would change that.
"Frosty, don't make me tell you twice..." Cynder raised the scales above her eye. Frosty sighed in frustration and skipped out the house toward the rushing river. Cynder continued to clean Blush and pack beef sandwiches for lunch when she heard a loud and terrified shriek coming from the river. Cynder's eyes opened wide...Frosty!
What do you think? I personally think that it is a little...what's the word...somewhat different from what I originally had in mind, but hey, this is the finished product for the first chapter. If you read the first paragraph and then skipped to the last then I don't blame ya for being confused. (I sometimes tend to do that too). Please could you take some time to review, all reviews would be appreciated, I like to know where I went wrong...and a what I might have done right... ;). **Attention**: I don't mind Flamers! So write away and speak what is on your mind. (Concerning the story)
Until I Update,
Star Duster The Dragoness