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Oliver Randomized by Girlbubble7991

Plays » Oliver! Rated: K+, English, Humor, Words: 7k+, Favs: 1, Follows: 2, Published: 10-17-11 Updated: 9-2-12
11 Chapter 5

A/N: HELLO WORLD WE'RE BACK WITH MORE INSANITY! so read, if you dare :)

Oliver: So, chums, how does one pick a pocket?

Dodger: We don't yell about it for one thing.

Oliver: SO much to learn.

Charley: I will tell you Oliver.

Oliver; Er... I'm kinda scared of you actually.

Charley: Oh don't worry. I'm your average, endearing kid in the daytime. It's only when the sun sets that... My dark side comes out

Dodger: is your dark side a symbiote that will eventually bond to someone els who shall become your arch nemesis.

Authors: STOP WITH THE COMICS!

Dodger: YOU TWO JUST DON'T GET COMICS!

Author1: HOW DARE YOU! I CHALLENGE YE TO A DUEL!

Author2: No! Don't challenge him to a duel!

Author1: Grrrr... Fine.

Oliver: Aren't we supposed to be, like, stealing, like, stuff?

Charley: I prefer the term LIBERATING

Dodger: From what? The oppressions of people's pockets?

Charley: Don't ruin my cool Dodge. Don't do it.

Oliver: You guys are not good teachers.

Charley: NO! JIMMY PROTESTED!

Random Dude called Jimmy: No I didn't.

Charley: shut up Jimmy.

Dodger: Okay Oliver, let's learn by doing.

Oliver: You know that -

Dodger: Shut up.

Oliver: But -

Dodger: SILENCE PEASANT!

Oliver: Noooo that's mine! That's mine, it's mine it's mine! I kill you! I kill you now!

Charley: Hey! That's my shtick.

Dodger: OLIVER. Go learn.

Oliver: Okay! *skips off*

Dodger: *darkly* That boy shall be a tyrant, Charley, a tyrant. Mark my words...

Charley: and I thought I was crazy...

The camera pans to Oliver looking sneaky

Mr Brownlow: Sneaky boy looking sneaky sneakily over there.

Oliver: OH NOES! He has discovered it!

Mr Brownlow: Come child, and thou shalt be adopted into the wings of Brownlow.

Oliver: Er... Who's Brownlow?

Mr Brownlow: I be he.

Oliver: Why are you referring to yourself in the third person?

Mr Brownlow: Look do you want to live in my giant awesome house of epicness or not.

Oliver: Yes I would.

Mr Brownlow: THEN COME CHILD AWAY! *Swishes cloak and walks off with Olive following* That's a very fine vest by the way young man

Oliver: I know right no one els gets my style, they're all bout, top hats, and big green coats and magical flying jewels.

Mr Brownlow: Well some peop- wait what?

Oliver: It's better not to ask sir.

Mr Brownlow: Alright then. WE AWAY!

Meanwhile...

Dodger: No Charley, the answer to life is not forty two, you idiot.

Charley: But I read it was!

Dodger: You read?

Charley: I have many hidden talents

Dodger: ... Shut up.

Charley: Obviously coming up with brilliant new retorts isn't one of yours.

Dodger: Shut - Never mind.

Authors: Oooooh burrrrrn.

Dodger: Don't you have someone else to annoy?

Author1: Nope.

Author2: We're all yours.

Author1: Isn't it lovely?

Charley: No.

Dodger looks around

Dodger: Hey - wait a second - Oliver's being led away by a suave man in a fashionable cloak

Charley: QUICK! TO THE AWESOMEMOBILE!

Meanwhile

Mr Brownlow: This is my house. It is on Mount Brownlow, named after my cat. It has twenty three and a half swimming pools, a library, a disco, a giant cinematic experience, several X-Boxes with every game in the world -

Authors; Oh dear Lord.

Mr Brownlow: Who are you?

Authors; Never mind us.

Mr Brownlow: ... Okay. A spa, a museum of ducks -

Oliver: I think I'm going to like it here.

Author2: *headdesk*

Author1: We sense a song coming on!

Mr. Brownlow: Thor, will pick out all your clothes

Thor (And yes we mean god of thunder): [spoken] Green is his best color, no blue I THINK!

Mr Brownlow: Your bath is drawn by Zeus

Zeus:[spoken] Soap...no, bubbles, I SAY!

Mr Brownlow: Horus comes in to make your bed.

Horus: [spoken] The silk, no the satin sheets, I COMAND!.

Oliver: [spoken] erm whats with all the yelly people

Mr Brownlow: Don't ruin the song dude.

Oliver: OK. [singing] I think I'm gonna like it here!

Mr Brownlow: The swimming pool is to the left

Oliver: [spoken] Inside the house? Oh boy.

Mr Brownlow: The tennis court is in the rear

Oliver: [spoken] I never even picked up a racket.

Mr Brownlow:

Have an instructor here at noon

[spoken] Oh, and get that Don Budge fellow if he's available.

Oliver:

I think I'm gonna like it here.

Mr Brownlow:

When you've wokeied Ring for Loki

Oliver: Wokeied?

Mr Brownlow: It needed to ryhme now stop interupting.

Loki will bring your tray

When you've Swallowed Apollo

Comes and takes it away.

Oliver: Don't I know you?

Apollo:... BYE *Vanishes*

Mr B. And gods:No need to pick up any toys

Oliver: [spoken] Thanks guys reminde me I don't have any toys. *pouts*

Mr B: No finger will you lift my dear

Gods: We have but one request

Please put us to the test

Oliver: Excellent... I know I'm gonna like it here

Used to room in a tomb

Where i'd sit and freeze

Get me now, holy cow

Could someone pinch me please.

Loki: *pinches*

Mr B: *spoken* He didn't mean it.

[Singing] We've never had a little boy

Gods: We've never had a little boy

Mr B and Gods: We hope you understand Your wish is our command

Oliver: I know I'm gonna like it here

Gods: Welcome

Meanwhile in the loft

Author 2: yes?

Author 1: not you, actually IN the actual Loft

Author 2: ahhhh ok

Right... so ... in the loft.

Dodger+Charley: *burst in* FAGIN FAGIN THERE'S BEEN AN EMERGANCEY!

Fagin: I knew this day would come. THE CRABS HAVE RISEN UP TO TAKE THIER VENGANCE!

Dodger:... erm no... olivers been kidnapped

Fagin: Oh good... WAIT WHAT?

Charley: By a suave man in a fashionable cloak.

Fagin: YOU MUST SAVE HIM!

Dodger: Why don't you do it.

Fagin: Because I'm an old man and past my prime... Plus tecnicaly I own you

Charley: What...?

Fagin: You signed yourself away to me. Remember the papers I gave you when you first came.

Charley: I can't read! Unfair! Actually I can't write either. I think I just drew a smiley face. You own me not.

Fagin: In the eyes of the law, child, your name is Smiley Face. Why do you think I called you that for the first few months you lived here?

Charley: Because of my permanently happy demeanor hiding my true, dark nature behind a grinning face?

Fagin: No, that's just stupid.

Charley: You take my torment as idiotic? I CHALLENGE YE TO A DUEL!

Dodger: No-o-o-o!

Author2: Awww look at Dodger keeping the peace.

Author1: He is truly a future savior of the earth

Fagin: OI that's my job

Author: yeh but you old and past your prime remeber.

Fagin: Aw well anyway I knew he took after his father more than his mother.

Dodger:.. wait.. WHAT!

Fagin: Er-erm.. JUST GO SAVE TE SMALL VEST OBSESSED BOY AWAY WITH YOU!

Suddenly the lost is shaken by some unearthly force.

Charley: THE DEMONS HAVE COME FOR ME!* hides under dodgers hat*

Fagin :NO YOU FOOL! But- No It can't be

Authors: but it is

Dodger: what? THE CRABS?

Fagin: Don't be stupid son- I mean boy- I mean, you know what I mean, you're stupid. It's... NAN-C

Dodger: what's wrong with Nancy

Fagin: NO YOU FOOL NAN-C! LIKE I SAID BEFORE!

The screen fads on everyone looking shockedly up wards at nothing in particular, including charley peeking out from under dodgers hat

A/N: SO WHAT DID YOU THINK? btw we have no idea why Mr bs house is staffed by gods, it just is so yeh CLIFF HANGER WOOOOOOOOO! see ya, remember every time you click the button smiles.


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