All She Ever Wanted
"My heart is held together by this tiny thread
With handfuls of beads of my feelings for you
That is breaking apart
Leaving nothing but frayed ends of a worn string."
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee nor any of its characters.
Please note that this is indeed my first story and I do wholeheartedly welcome constructive criticisms. If the story sucks, tell me but please be nice about it.
As the gleeks were waiting in the choir room for the club to start, Mr. Shuester walked in looking a bit ruffled from another run in with Sue promising the Glee Club's demise.
After taking a deep breath he started, "So I was thinking that this week instead of me coming up with a lesson I thought it'd be a good idea to hear some feedback from you. So, any ideas?"
Not a second later Rachel's hand shot up in the air. Mr. Shuester gave a knowing look and sighed.
"If I may," Rachel said as she stood beside Mr. Shuester. "I have written down an extensive list of ideas that would not only help us practice for Nationals but as team captain I find it incumbent upon me to always be ready for situations such as these."
Most of the group listened, and while they found Rachel annoying a lot of the time they could not however ignore the fact that most of the time she was right. Mercedes, Kurt, and Santana rolled their eyes dramatically. Quinn on the other hand just kept her head down paying particular attention to her nails. Some would assume that she was just downright ignoring the brunette and not giving any thought to what she was saying. They would be wrong. Quinn was paying attention quite intently.
"No one cares what you think Dwarf." Santana huffed.
"Oh shut up and hear what she has to say. At least she has ideas!" Finn retorted.
Choosing to not dignify Santana with a response, Rachel flashed a smile to Finn for defending her and continued on. "I believe this weeks assignment should be about honesty. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said that whatisutteredfromtheheartalonewillwintheheartsofotherstoyourown.Music and honesty come from the heart and thereby go hand in hand. I believe that each of us should find a song that expresses absolute honesty regarding ourselves and maybe we can limit our range of songs to something current for a change. I feel that by doing this exercise we may find a song suitable for winning this years competition and would connect with the audience and thereby win over the judges hearts."
"Did you even breathe at all when you said that?" Mercedes asked.
"As a trained performer, I have mastered breath control so I can sing or speak rather for a long period of time. But to answer your question, no I didn't." Rachel replied.
"I think we're getting a little off track here guys." Mr. Shuester piped in. "I think Rachel is onto something. If you all can each find a song that really means something, you'll be able to connect your emotions to the song and the performance will be more evocative."
There were a few shrugs but mostly everyone was nodding in agreement. Quinn hadn't done either. It seemed lately like she was hiding. Sure she had dyed her hair back to blonde and started wearing her baby doll dresses again but it didn't change the fact that she still seemed...angry. Or sad. Or both.
This unusual behavior did not escape the notice of Rachel Berry. After all, she was team captain and as team captain its her responsibility to be aware of her teammates' well being. But more importantly, she cared about Quinn. For some reason, no matter how many times the blonde had blown off her offers of friendship, she kept on trying because eventually with enough determination and kindness Quinn would ultimately realize that she wasn't alone. She would see that the brunette was so much more than what people made her out to be.
After agreeing that the assignment would be performed at the end of the week, leaving them four days to find a song to perform. They all shuffled out in tiny clusters, leaving only Rachel and Quinn.
While Rachel was scribbling possible song choices quickly in her notebook, Quinn was digging through her backpack for her pack of smokes. Despite the fact that she had left the Skanks, she still couldn't quite kick the habit of having at least one cigarette a day.
"Those things will kill you, you know." Rachel said without looking up from her notebook.
Quinn couldn't help but smirk. "I'm counting on it."
With that statement, Rachel's head whipped up to cast an admonishing look at the blonde. "Surely you don't mean that. Besides if you care to know, those death sticks not only cause an unmitigatedly amount of damage to your vocal cords and throat but also cause more deaths than by drugs, alcohol, HIV, automobile accidents, suicides and murders combined. Not to mention that every time you smoke a cigarette you lose roughly seven minutes of your life."
"Thanks for that little Snapple bottle cap fact but I really don't care." Quinn quipped as she turned to leave.
Only a few steps from the door she was stopped by her name being called. She didn't turn around but she knew if she didn't snap at some point Rachel would never let this 'Save Quinn' crusade go. She hated having to do it but desperate times called for desperate measures.
Itsforherowngood, Quinn thought. She'sbetteroffnotbeingpulleddownbythissinkingshipwreckIcallalife.
"Listen," Quinn started harshly through clenched teeth. As soon as she turned around she knew she couldn't be the bad guy. Looking into those big brown eyes that were filled with so much tenderness and altruistic compassion, the misguided anger dissipated immediately. Taking a deep breath, she walked back over to the seat next to Rachel dropping her bag pack as she sat.
"Look," she began again but in a much softer tone. "I came back to glee just like you wanted. Can't that be enough for you? Besides you should be focusing on getting through this last year and out of this town and not ending up like us Lima losers."
"You're not going to be a Lima loser. I've told you before and I'll tell you again - you're so much more than what you think you'll be. While yes, I am happy that you have rejoined glee, I feel like you're trying to make yourself disappear because you think you're alone. But you're not - not really." Tentatively, Rachel placed her hand gently on one of Quinn's. As soon as their skin touched, Quinn felt complete warmth radiating from the smaller girl's hand. As she gazed at them, she noticed that Rachel's hands weren't manly at all.
Trying to gage her emotional state, Rachel noticed Quinn's furrowed brows. Guessing the blonde was uncomfortable by Rachel's action, she pulled her hand away. Jolted by the sudden lack of warmth Quinn's hand was left with an unfamilar tingling of where Rachel's hand had been, she felt an overwhelming pang of fear at the fact that once she lost the feeling of Rachel's hand on hers, she wanted it back.
Suddenly, she shot up out of her chair grabbed her bag and ran out of the room. She ran to the nearest bathroom down the hall, further encasing herself into one of the stalls after locking it and stared at her tingling hand. She clenched it into a fist over and over partially hoping it would somehow make the delightful tingling sensation go away. Another part of her, that which she forced herself to stay buried, was the part that hoped it wouldn't go away.
Although Rachel was far enough away from Quinn to not know where she had gone or why, they both couldn't stop from muttering to themselves the same question.
"What the hell?"