When Severus, so bored of life,
Decided to find him a wife,
He took advice of Lucius,
Who said "A witch-wife is a must.
You would be bored with only looks
Or one who stays at home and cooks.
While both have uses, your desire
Is finding one who lights your fire."
"Dear Lucius, I think you may
Have someone in your mind today.
Pray give me who you think will do
Or be prepared to be hexed through."
"Now Severus, is that the way
That friends treat friends on this fine day?
My heart is wounded..." "Stop that. Please
Who is it? Put my heart at ease!"
But Lucius, the sneaky cat
Took up his cane, put on his hat,
He bowed, and said "In one week clear
I'll bring the witch to meet you here."
With sly-faced grin he left, and Snape
Stood silently with mouth agape.
"I can't believe that witch there be
Who'd want to spend her life with me."
A week went by. The doorbell rang,
The door flew open with a bang.
Lucius strode down the hall
And threw his snake-cane at the wall.
"I had the perfect witch for you -
Intelligent and pretty too.
She would have suited you a treat
But bloody Granger has me beat!
"She's gone and disappeared on me -
We were supposed to meet at three."
"You really think that I'd be seen
With know-it-all Hermione Jean?
That I would take that girl to wed?"
And Severus just shook his head.
"I'm sorry that your plan's astray.
Perhaps she's somewhere far away,
In hiding lest you make her do
A thing that she would not want to."
Poor Lucius scowled hard. "You jest.
I only meant it for the best.
I really thought that you would suit,
But I can see that you dispute
The possibility that she
Would be the best match you might see."
At that, the Potions master laughed
And said "I didn't think you daft."
And right behind him, through the door
Came our Hermione. "Dear, you swore
You wouldn't tease your dear friend so."
She walked to Severus, aglow
With love and joy and bliss so clear.
"Beloved, soothe your poor friend's fear."
"Hermione and I wed last week.
Your visit gave me hope to speak -
We'd been just friends for three years plus
And hadn't wanted any fuss.
I had not realised she felt
That when I talked her heart would melt
And she had no idea that I
Had loved her and would 'till I die.
"So your discussion my heart gave
The impetus to then be brave.
I asked on Monday, and can you guess?
She sweetly, kindly, then said 'Yes' ".
And young Hermione, face alight
Continued "You so helped his plight.
He never would have had the nerve
To ask for what he does deserve."
So Lucius still claims that he
Was that which brought the pair to be
For after all, if he'd not said
That Severus should soon be wed
Then Severus would not have spoken,
And true hearts would not have woken,
So leave the Malfoy his illusion -
And leave the pair in sweet seclusion.