A/N: So this is going to be a multi-chapter fic I've already got 8 chapters written and I'll be updating every couple of days or so...hopefully :) It's slightly AU and deviates from the story after S1E19 (Miss Mystic Falls) It WILL be a Delena story but it'll be slow build and there will be plenty of obstacles before they're endgame :D I've tried to stay as true to the characters as possible so Elena may be irritatingly blind at certain points but ultimately she'll come to her senses...
Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized
And I just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be
Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch your breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
'Cuz I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush 'ain't going away
Elena Gilbert was mad. Strike that, she was absolutely furious. She'd thought they were done with all the lies, thought that their relationship meant more than his demons from the past. She felt as if she was constantly fighting to keep them from falling apart and it was destroying her inside.
She loved him more then she'd ever loved anyone and she thought that he was it. Her missing piece in the jumbled up jigsaw that was her life. Her Stefan who'd rescued her from the darkest moments of her parents death.
It was bad enough that she'd basically been stood up in front of the whole town at the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. But to realise that the reason Damon had had to rescue her from embarrassment was because Stefan had lied about being over human blood was, just, too much. He knew how much it meant to her, to her mum and he'd ruined it.
Well, ruined may have been slightly dramatic. She'd had fun with Damon as much as she hated to admit it. He'd been civil and charming and made her smile genuinely for the first time in god knows how many weeks.
It scared her though. How easy it was to get lost in his eyes, his embrace, him. When he'd danced with her the world had ceased to exist in her eyes. It was just him and her and the music. She'd tried to focus on Stefan, how it felt when he'd held her and danced with her in the practice sessions but recalling that only made her compare the two brothers. She'd realised for the first time that something was missing in her relationship with Stefan and this frustrated her because when she'd danced with Damon everything was...well...right. Perfect actually. So she'd shut off from him as soon as the music had stopped. Elena had pushed down her emotions and buried them in the darkest corner of her heart.
She was supposed to love Stefan and only Stefan. He was 'The One'. She was not supposed to feel anything other than sisterly affection for the eldest Salvatore. He was her friend only. Her best friend now that Bonnie was hardly acknowledging her existence and Caroline was too busy focusing on Matt.
But sometimes, when it was just the two of them, there'd be a moment where she'd look at him and he'd look back and she'd wish he was more than just her friend. That she'd met him first and that she wouldn't have to constantly fight the connection she felt towards him.
She knew even if she gave in nothing would ever come of it. He only wanted her in the first place because she looked like Katherine. He enjoyed trying to steal her away from Stefan but she'd never once wavered in her conviction. She loved Stefan. That was who she was supposed to love. Who she wanted to love. So why did it feel like an up hill battle just to stay with him?
She cared for Damon. Seeing him outside the tomb when he'd found out Katherine had never even been in there, never even looked for him for 145 years, broke her heart. She'd never understood why he'd done the things he'd done until that moment. It was love that drove him and it was love that he needed to feel just to make the pain stop.
Elena had never seen so much agony reflected in someones eyes as she had in Damon's that night. He'd looked so lost and broken that she'd honestly thought he would crumble right there in front of her. So she'd hugged him. It was all she could do though she wished she could do so much more because she'd seen him. The real him. He hid it so well from everyone else but he couldn't hide it from her.
She'd known, in the few conversations Stefan had reluctantly shared with her about their past, that their father, Guiseppe Salvatore, was a harsh man. Stefan was his pride and joy and Damon was the thorn in his side. Elena had realised during their talks that the only person in nearly 170 years that had truly cared for Damon was his mother. The world had been cruel to Damon Salvatore and his actions from the moment he had turned were his defence mechanism, his revenge.
He needed to love and be loved back just once. But it couldn't be her and that thought tore at her heart because some small part of her, a part which was growing bigger every moment she spent with him, wanted it to be her. She knew he didn't want her that way, that he was just her friend because she reminded him of what he had once shared with Katherine, but he'd been nicer to her than she'd expected after the way he'd treated people when he first came to town.
She also knew that even if Damon did love her she could never be with him because she wasn't Katherine and she'd made her choice; it was Stefan, it would always be Stefan.
She pulled her self out of her musings with a frustrated yell. She needed a break from all the supernatural in her life. A time out, 5 minutes. The memory made her smile. It was a good 5 minutes that trip to Georgia. It was the last time she could remember feeling like herself. Admittedly, she hadn't actually wanted to go (she'd been kidnapped really) but it was still the most fun she'd had since her parents had died.
She shook her head and walked over to her wardrobe, pulling it open and rummaging around the floor for her overnight bag. She needed space before she went crazy.
A/N: Okay so that's chapter one, just a scene setter :) reviews appreciated :D until next time...