I had to do this. So far I haven't seen any Morgan x Reid fics stemming from Epilogue, so I decided to give it a shot. Morgan asking Reid why he didn't tell him about what he saw, then Reid's explanation about the whole thing sparked something in my mind. And then Prentiss had to go and say she had really died in the ambulance and felt cold and darkness. So that ruined any potential moment there, especially after Morgan asked why Reid didn't tell him about seeing what happened after he died.
It was hard to find a good quote for this one, but I tried to find one that fit the scenario and wasn't too atheistic. And now I'm wondering what it would have taken get nominated for something. Unless there happens to be a mpreg category any time soon, I don't think I ever will be. Or I'm just not worthy enough for nominations.
Warnings: Angst, fluff and mentions of past dilaudid use. Possible spoilers for Epilogue if you haven't seen it. Also minor mentions of atheism, just in case that bothers people out there. And slash, but I don't really see a need for a warning. It's only fluff involving cuddling, that's it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did, I would have at least allowed Reid to tell Morgan why he didn't mention the afterlife after it happened. Like a separate scene on the jet or something.
I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious ideas of heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God.
Morgan watched Reid as the younger male moved his messenger bag over his shoulder, moving to head out of the bullpen and toward the elevators as everyone else had decided to leave for the day. He knew Rossi had left long before everyone else, but it wasn't his place to know what was going on with the senior member of their team. If he wanted to tell them, he would. Right now a few things were weighing on his mind, especially after the theme for the case they had just returned from. And Reid's words were still fresh in his ears; he didn't need his boyfriend's excellent memory for that.
"I did. Before Tobias Hankel resuscitated me, I had the exact same experience. And I wasn't in an emergency room, I was in a shed."
"Reid, you never told me that."
Morgan frowned, walking next to the other as he put an arm around the other's shoulders gently. He did feel slightly hurt that the young genius didn't even tell him what he saw, although it was a bad time for him after the incident. Going through the addiction and then subsequent withdrawal, it was perhaps one of the rare times that Reid didn't want to talk to him about anything. Especially not something that could have potentially cost him his job.
"How about I come over to your apartment?" Morgan offered, watching the younger male for any reaction whatsoever. He also had to try and understand how he was feeling about Prentiss' revelation that she did really die while in the ambulance, but right now this was more about something Reid never told him. "We can talk there, out of earshot."
"Derek… most of the team know we're together by now." Reid offered a faint smile, not shrugging Morgan's arm from around his shoulders. "What did you want to talk about?"
"Something that you mentioned back in California." Morgan spoke, walking along with Reid before he pressed the down button on the elevator. "It opened my eyes to your beliefs, although I am still skeptical about a few things."
"We can talk there." Reid nodded, now knowing exactly what Morgan was talking about. He reluctantly moved from under the other's arm, but he also knew that the other departments and teams didn't know about their relationship just yet. "Beliefs is an odd term considering, but I will talk about it."
Morgan nodded, remembering what Reid had said next as the two walked out of the glass doors before arriving at one of the bureau SUVs. He opened the passenger side door for the younger male as Reid's explanation as to why he didn't tell anyone entered his memory. Especially since it had only occurred a few hours earlier.
"I'm a man of science. I didn't know how to deal with it, there is no quantifiable proof God exists. Yet from that moment I was faced with something I couldn't explain, I still can't."
"Don't worry; it won't be a long winded discussion." Reid smiled, getting into the passenger side before closing the door behind him. He knew that religion alone was a touchy subject, Gideon hated having it be an excuse for why an unsub killed people. He also knew that Morgan's faith was shaky at best, but wasn't sure about the others. "But it might help you understand me a little better."
"Wow…" Morgan spoke, walking in through the door once they arrived at Reid's apartment. He had been here a couple times before but under different circumstances, once after the anthrax poisoning and the other time was after Reid got shot and he had to make sure the younger male could get into the apartment okay. "I think your books multiplied."
"It's actually physically impossible for inanimate objects to reproduce." Reid grinned, making sure that Morgan locked the door behind him after closing it. "Please, make yourself at home. You can stay over if you'd like… It was a long day and it's a long drive back to Triangle."
"Good point." Morgan replied gently, moving a couple books out of the way before he sat down on Reid's couch. He smiled as he saw a picture of the two of them together after a case, and a recent picture of the whole team that was taken after the Committee hearing. "So… should we start talking about what you said we would?"
"About why I didn't tell you what I saw?" Reid asked, sitting next to Morgan before he felt the other's arm move around his shoulders. "I honestly don't understand what I saw before Hankel resuscitated me."
"And that's hard for you." Morgan smiled a little, moving his fingers through Reid's short hair. "I know you have said that you don't know everything. But I'm sure that the bright warm light is bothering you for that very reason. But you could have told me, I always listen to you."
"I know." Reid nodded, offering a faint smile as he felt Morgan move his fingers through his hair. "I didn't want to tell you after the fact because you may have believed that I was coming off the high of dilaudid. And I have been trying to think if it had been a drug induced hallucination as a possibility…"
Morgan frowned lightly, looking down at the other as he brought the younger male closer to him. That explained everything actually, and he wasn't entirely sure what to say next. And he really didn't want to say that the thought did cross his mind, but he also knew that Reid was not himself while he was on the dilaudid and trying to get clean.
"Back then, maybe…" Morgan admitted carefully, gauging Reid's facial expressions before he continued. "But I wouldn't listen to my skepticism of the afterlife. I didn't have the same experience you did, or what Prentiss had. I have been unconscious for a brief time, but not to the point of seeing a light."
Reid nodded, moving his head against Morgan's shoulder. He knew he could always talk to the older male about these things, but he regretted not saying anything when he had the experience. "I apologize for not telling you back then. It was a hard time for all of us, and I was a jerk to just about everyone. And as I mentioned, I had no idea what to think. I don't believe in God, that makes the experience weirder."
"Don't worry about it." Morgan smiled, rubbing Reid's shoulder gently before placing a light kiss on top of the younger man's head. "And you were right… after my father was killed, then the whole Buford incident, I honestly have no idea what to believe. And then Garcia gets shot while I'm in church for the first time in years… but I was wrong in snapping at you."
Reid shrugged, moving his head slightly as he turned to curl up on the couch. His head now on Morgan's chest, a light smile crossing his lips as he listened to the other's heartbeat. "I didn't know what you believe, so no apology needed. And I know more about you than I did back then. But I stand by what I said. There is no proof that God exists."
"I know." Morgan smiled, watching Reid curl up on the couch before he put his head against his chest. He continued to rub the younger's shoulder, the smile not leaving his lips. "Hell, you're thirty years old now. You can believe or not believe in anything you want to. It won't bother me a bit."
"Thank you…" Reid muttered, his voice showing he was half asleep. "For being there for me, and for letting me talk to you about matters like this. It means a lot."
"No problem, pretty boy." Morgan replied honestly, holding the younger male against him as he slowly fell asleep. He shifted his position carefully, eventually falling asleep on the couch himself. He knew he would always listen to Reid, no matter what happened.
Only a short one shot. I'm gearing up for the tornado episode next. So depending what happens there, be prepared for more Reid goodness and true facts about tornadoes from my own brain and not from Wikipedia, Bing or Google.
And should I consider doing a Facebook account for Buka2000? I have my own personal one for my family and friends, and RPing. But I might do one for letting people know about story updates, or story ideas. And get input on said ideas, and I will gladly take suggestions as well. I have a poll on my profile so please check it out.