It was actually a calm nightshift with the demigods present.
Calm…until that man showed up.
Countless spells and the like had been put up to prevent him from entering, but every single time, they had failed.
The man was an enigma, an uncountable, unstoppable force of nature.
This man…none other than Rick James.
"Demi-gods in the bar tonight, bitches! Ha! Ha!"
He was rude, crude, and a seriously freaky dude.
The demi-gods in return promptly beat the shit out of him and broke his legs.
With tears of rage in his eyes, the broken man left the bar, pushing the doors open and crying out as he disappeared into the darkness.
"THEY NEVER SHOULD HAVE GAVE YOU DEMI-GODS, MONEY!"
"All the powers of darkness couldn't stop that man…" Ansem mused to himself.
After that, all was calm, save for the boastful laughter from Augus, the blind demi-god was drunk and happy.
But the happy hour was cut short.
The bar began to shake as something came through the rift.
Ansem peered outwards to see dozens of tall figures outlined in the radiance of the rift.
Then a voice that made Ansem's hair stand on end rang out from the shadows.
"Oh lame-os! He-he! I'm baaaaaaack! And I brought some racially insensitive transformers with me this time! He-he! I'm takin' you guys down! He-he!"
Ansem groaned as he jumped over the counter. "Michael Bay!"
"Is there some sort of problem here?" Yasha asked.
"No, nothing you concern yourselves with. Please just sit down and enoy yourselves." Ansem strolled out into the darkness, and behind him two Darksides, giant pureblood heartless, and a small contingent of Invisibles, smaller pureblood heartless, deadly assassins with their blades. Along with them were Red Nocturnes, and Bit Snipers, and Soldiers in the dozens.
"Come, Guardian!" Ansem's dark familiar arose from darkness and took it's place behind Ansem, levitating his master off the ground.
"Bay, how many times must I grind you into the ground before you learn not to get back up?"
"Oh, he-he, this time, I'm not gonna bet beatin-off so easily!"
Every single heartless and racially insensitive transformer took the opportunity to face palm themselves in embarrassment.
This time, he-he! I'm gonna defeat you with the power of light! He-he!"
"The only power you have is the power of being a douche bag, Bay!" Ansem growled. "Time after time, we have suffered your stupidity! Well no more! You shall be swallowed by darkness eternal! There are those with weak hearts, and those with weak minds! You are of those with pathetically weak minds!"
Ansem raised his hand, and brought it down.
The heartless charged.
Michael Bay shoot both his fists into the air.
"He-he! Yeah! Make explosions! Boom!"
The racially insensitive transformers charged, holding their crotches and shouting urban slangs.
"FO THA WHITE BITCHES!"
"IMMA BUST A CAP IN YO BLACK ASSES!"
" WATA MELONS IS MAH BESTEST FOODS!"
"SWING LOW…SWEET CHARIOT!"
"NOW LET'S SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING IN YOUR NECK OF THE WOODS!"
"HELLO, I'M BRIAN GUMBEL!"
The two forces clashed in the biggest case of black on black crime in history.
The transformers all opened fire, missing most of the time because they held their blasters sideways and spending most of their time sippin' on their 40 ounces.
The Darksides raised their right fists into the air and brought them down onto the hard, black ground, causing massive shockwaves, throwing the transformers onto their backs. The heartless swarmed and attacked. They tore their foes apart without mercy, reducing them to broken, smashed piles of flaming, racially insensitive scrap.
"Oh…oh no! He-he! No! Retreat!" Michael Bay screamed.
"You shall not get away, fool!" Ansem roared as he charged at Bay.
The Guardians' claws found themselves around Michael Bay's throat.
Ansem brought his face close to Michael Bay's.
"And now, your mediocrity shall cease to be!"
Bay returned his gaze.
"Ugh! Ah!….If….if..you..k-kill…..m….…me now…I shall become more…..explosion…..that you can-"
The Guardian broke the evil director's neck, ending his reing of terror at last.
No more childhood memories would be destroyed by the hand of Bay ever again.
"GIVE IN TO DARKNESS!" Ansem bellowed his final order, and the shadows descended upon the racially insensitive transformers.
"DIS IS SOME OL' BULLSHI-"
Their hip, urban, slang was drowned out by shadow, and the void was calm again.
"Begone.", Ansem spoke, and the heartless dispersed back into the lightless abyss they called home.
Ansem surveyed the broken, smoldering piles of metal that were left of the transformers.
"I'll have the smurfs clean that up when the get back. Huagh-ha-ha-ha-ha. I'm sure that they'll enjoy that."
"That was a rather impressive way of showing the man off." Deus greeted Ansem with.
"The Bar In Between has a zero-tolerance policy when I run the Night Shift. I had given the man plenty of warnings, but he left me no choice."
"Bah! You call that a battle?" Augus roared, slamming down his jug of mead. "A battle? Ha! And this piss water I'm drinking is the finest sake I've ever tasted. That battle was short and pathetic. I don't need to see to understand that fool was weak and pathetic, and you could have killed him yourself. Am I wrong?"
"No, you are not wrong my friend, but not even I, am completely without mercy…..on second thought, not even I am completely without sport. He was a fool, but one with heart. And I do so enjoy seeing those with hearts in fear, seeing all they have swallowed by darkness! The heartless needed a chance to wreak something, so I let them have a little fun."
"Bah!" Augus dismissed the Seeker of Darkness, and Ansem found his place behind the bar again. He grabbed a drink, put his feet up, and enjoyed a well earned Heineken, the choice beer of heartless villains everywhere. "The boss men are gonna give me a bonus for this." A sinister grin parted Ansem's lips.
It was a good Night Shift.
Ch. 11 end.
This chapter is dedicated to the eternal memory of Adam Yaunch, A.K.A MCA of the Beastie Boys. He's one with the Buddha. Come back as something beautiful, man.
Okay, so things are getting harder and harder to write shit for this story, and I might be calling it quits for the Bar In Between.
But not before I take a few shots at some more folks.
YOU KNOW WHO U R. ;p