A/N: Hello my lovely readers!
Note: Blaine and Kurt are both juniors at Dalton. Blaine is 17, Kurt is 16. Also, the Karofsky kiss happened sophomore year.
Trigger Warning: This story will have some extremely angsty moments. Rated M for mentions of cutting, sexual abuse, rape, and eventual smut.
Blaine's thoughts. Kurt's thoughts.
Disclaimer: I own nothing other than the imagination behind this plot.
A couple of months into his junior year, Kurt Hummel was forced to leave his life behind in order to attend Dalton Academy, an all-boys private school with a strictly enforced zero-tolerance bullying policy. The torment Kurt endured at McKinley had officially gotten out of hand and he needed to escape. He tried to stay strong as the bullying worsened. He tried not to drown in his sorrow as everyday life became more unbearable with each passing day. But when Dave Karofsky forced himself on Kurt, he lost the will to keep fighting. Karofsky was Kurt's biggest fear, his worst nightmare. The same bully that tortured him for being gay was a closeted gay himself, and had no problem taking his confusion and anger out on Kurt. The first time it happened, it was barely a kiss. The next time it happened, Karofsky forced Kurt to touch him. It only worsened after that.
Kurt became quiet and withdrawn as the abuse escalated. His family and friends tried talking to him but he refused to acknowledge that anything was wrong. It wasn't until his step-brother Finn found him cutting that he was forced to answer questions. He didn't tell his family the extant of the bullying. He only shared what he felt was necessary enough to explain the cutting. He was far too worried about his father's heart to tell him that he'd been sexually abused at school. He didn't have to tell his father anything though. Burt knew there was much more to the story than what Kurt was letting on and the possibilities terrified him. The bright, confidant young man he raised was now a depressed, distant boy whose only outlet had become self-harm and he had no idea how to fix it.
Kurt stayed home from school the following two weeks while Burt tried to find a suitable option for his schooling. He spent days researching different schools and clinics in the area before finally settling on Dalton. Their zero-tolerance bullying policy was what caught Burt's attention, and after speaking with the dean, he knew that Dalton was the place for Kurt. Dalton was unlike any other school around. The school was filled with boys like Kurt who somehow lost control of their lives and Dalton was the place that helped them regain control. The dean assured Burt that Dalton would take Kurt under its wings and bring him back to his former self, a stronger self, and Burt was more than willing to pay the tuition if it meant getting his son back.
"This will be good for you, kiddo." Burt said to Kurt as they drove into the school.
It was a Friday afternoon in early October when they pulled into the school. Kurt knew that he would supposedly be safer there, but it was something he was having a hard time believing. He was certain that there would be at least one person that would make him a target but he didn't care. He would take being verbally abused and shoved against lockers over what Karofsky forced him to do any day. Kurt followed his dad into the administration office with his head down. The less eye contact he made with people, the better. He stayed quiet the entire time Burt talked with the dean, his thoughts too lost in his fears to pay attention at their conversation. It wasn't until Burt touched his arm that he began to listen. Burt frowned at how Kurt instantly flinched away.
"Kurt, I want you to know that this is a very good school. We strive for excellence and we teach our boys to be outstanding members of society. No one will hurt here. I understand your situation, it's not the first time I've seen it, and I personally promise you that you are safe here. If anyone even says anything to you that makes you uncomfortable, you come straight to me and they will be handled." The dean told him. Kurt nodded at the middle aged woman but said nothing. She gave his dad his class schedule, a map, and his room assignment before dismissing them from the meeting.
Kurt followed his dad to the dorms in silence, his heartbeat racing frantically. He was terrified of who his roommate would be. With his luck, it'll be someone who will torture him like Karofsky had. He forced himself to keep walking, even though his entire being was screaming at him to run and hide. He needed to do this for his dad. He needed to be "ok" so his father would stop worrying about him. He had already decided ahead of time that he would not tell anybody when the inevitable bullying started. He dealt with it before and he would deal with it again. As they reached his dorm room door, they heard two boys talking inside.
"I swear I'm going to shove that gavel straight up his ass if he pushes me today." One boy said.
"Come on, David, he's not that bad." The other boy replied laughing.
"Are you kidding me? Blaine, he smacked the shit out me with his book in class today because I said that I didn't like his set list ideas. Mr. Roberts didn't even do anything about it!" David said in frustration.
"To be fair, you did set his lab on fire a few weeks ago. I'm not surprised that he didn't do anything when Wes smacked you." Blaine told him apologetically.
"Details, details." David replied dismissively. Blaine and David were interrupted when Burt knocked on the door.
"Hey. You must be my new roommate." Blaine greeted with a smile when he opened the door. Kurt glanced up at Blaine for only a second before turning his gaze back on the ground. In that second, Blaine recognized the look in Kurt's eyes. It was the same distant fearful look he had when he first transferred to Dalton. "I'm Blaine Anderson. This is my friend, David Thompson." He said as he reached to shake Burt's hand.
"Burt Hummel. This is my son Kurt." Burt said as he shook hands with both boys. "Teacher's let students smack each other with books here?" he questioned.
"No sir!" Blaine answered quickly. "Please ignore David. He tends to overreact." He said, shooting David a look
"Uh, huh." Burt said, eyeing the boys. "I'm going to go get your stuff, you helping?" he asked Kurt.
"We can help if you like." David offered with a bright smile.
"Sure, I'll take up on that." Burt told them and walked out with David and Blaine close behind.
Kurt took in his surroundings while he had the opportunity to be alone. The room was surprisingly big. It had two full size beds opposite from each other, two closets, two desks, one big window, a decent size bathroom, and enough room to still walk around. Kurt sat on the unused bed, assuming it was his, scooted all the way back, and rested his head on the wall. So kids beat each other up with books here. That's a new one. It's better than Karofsky...
"You like that Hummel? You like it when I touch you?" Karofsky asked.
"Stop, please. Just stop." Kurt said crying.
"Answer my question!" Karofsky snarled, slamming Kurt into the shelves of the supply closet.
"…y-yes…" Kurt lied. He learned the hard way what would happen if he said no.
Kurt shuddered at the memory, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around himself protectively. He can't touch me here. He can't. Unless someone else touches you. No! I'm safe here. I'm safe here. Kurt hadn't realized that he was chanting 'I'm safe here', nor had he realized that he was swaying back and forth. It had become second nature to him to do it whenever he thought back on what he'd done. When things got really bad and he couldn't shake the memory off, he'd cut. It was the only thing that brought him back to reality.
Blaine walked into the room with one of Kurt's boxes and found him swaying as he muttered to himself. He stood there for a moment, paralyzed by the sight in front of him. There was no denying that Kurt was incredibly attractive, and it pained Blaine to see such a beautiful boy broken. "Hey, are you ok?" He asked with concern.
Kurt looked up at Blaine, getting lost in the honey amber eyes for a second, before shaking his head. "I'm fine." Kurt replied automatically. He had stopped his swaying but continued to hold his knees protectively. Blaine sent him a small, comforting smile as he set the box down before walking out of the room again.
Within the next 15 minutes, Burt, Blaine, and David finished bringing Kurt's things in. Kurt stayed on the bed, holding his knees up the entire time, and watched his father interact with the two boys. They seemed nice enough, but he knew better than anyone that nothing was as it seemed. Once the boxes were unloaded, David and Blaine stayed outside in the hallway in order to give Burt and Kurt some privacy to say goodbye.
"If you need anything son, anything at all, do not hesitate to call." Burt said firmly.
"Ok Dad." Kurt nodded, knowing full well that he would do no such thing.
"I'm serious, Kurt. You can call me day or night and I will be there for you." Burt said as he pulled Kurt into an embrace. "You're going to be fine here. I love you son."
Kurt tensed for a second before returning the hug. "Love you too, Dad."
Burt gave his son one final look, his heart aching at the sight of his broken son, and once again prayed that he would be ok. Reluctantly, he walked out of the room and made his way towards the front of the building, only to be stopped in the hallway by Blaine.
"Mr. Hummel, is there anything I should know about Kurt?" Blaine asked him cautiously. He figured he should try and get as much information as possible while he had the chance. He hoped to be able to help his new roommate the way Nick had helped him.
"Exactly what do you mean by that?" Burt asked defensively.
"I didn't mean to offend you, sir." Blaine quickly amended. "Dean Morrison told me that Kurt's situation was similar to mine and I just wanted to see if there was anything I needed to know in order to help him." When Burt didn't answer him but looked at him curiously, Blaine decided to elaborate. He pulled his sleeves up to show Burt his old scars. "I used to get night terrors too. It took me a long time to be ok, but being here really helped me out."
Burt eyed Blaine carefully for a moment before sighing. "The only thing I can tell you is to keep an eye on him and don't leave him alone for too long. I think he goes somewhere else when he's left alone and I don't think it's somewhere he needs to be." He said quietly.
"Does he sing or play sports or anything? The groups here are really close and we watch out for each other like brothers. Being involved in something could be his first step to healing." Blaine told him.
Burt was caught off guard by Blaine's use of the term 'healing.' He wondered exactly how many boys were sent to that school to do just that. "As a matter of fact, he sings. Or well, he used to. He loved it quite a bit actually but…he hasn't sung in a while." Burt said sadly, missing the days where Kurt would get on his last nerve by singing his Broadway tunes throughout the house.
"I understand. Sometimes, when life becomes too much to handle, people quit doing the things they enjoy the most." Blaine replied, briefly remembering the darkest days of his life. "I know we've just met, and you have no reason to trust me, but I'll try and help Kurt as best as I can."
The sincerity in Blaine's voice brought a slight tear to Burt's eyes. "Thank you, Blaine. I appreciate that."
"Of course, sir." Blaine replied with a small smile. Burt matched his smile, thanked one more time, and finally left.
Blaine walked back to the room expecting Kurt to still be sitting on his bed. He was surprised to see that he was up and unpacking his things. That's something. I didn't unpack for days. "Would you like some help?" He asked politely.
"Sure." Kurt shrugged, not sparing Blaine a glance.
Blaine picked up one of the boxes and began unpacking. "So, what brings you to Dalton?" He asked, not expecting an answer. When Kurt didn't reply, he continued talking. "I remember my first day at Dalton. I didn't talk to anyone either." Kurt still said nothing.
They unpacked in silence for the next twenty minutes, Blaine doing his best not stare. He was transfixed by Kurt's beauty and he couldn't help but sneak glances at him. Kurt missed the questioning, curious looks from Blaine though. He was too lost in his mind to notice.
Shortly after they finished unpacking, Blaine got up to leave for Warbler rehearsal. "Do you want to come? You aren't a Warbler but it's always fun to sit and listen." Blaine told him, hoping that Kurt would say yes but expecting a no.
"No thanks." Kurt replied. Blaine nodded and walked towards the door.
"Kurt," Blaine said before he left. "I know this hard, but things will get better. When I transferred here, I felt completely alone. I thought that no one would understand me or what I went through but I was wrong. I want you to know that if you need to talk, I'm here. I know you don't know me and you may not even care, but I promise you're not alone." When Kurt stayed quiet, Blaine turned around and reached for the door.
"Why did you come to Dalton?" Kurt suddenly asked, surprising both Blaine and himself.
Blaine turned to look at Kurt, a small bubble of hope growing inside him. "It's a bit of a long story, but basically I transferred because I was bullied for being gay." He answered softly.
"Was it hard? Getting over it?" Kurt asked quietly, despite the voice in his head telling him to stop talking before it got him in trouble.
"Yes, and it still is. It probably always will be. Joining the Warblers has really helped me though. They were my rock when I was at my weakest." Kurt wiped a stray tear away as Blaine continued. "You're not alone, Kurt. I know it seems like it now but you're not." Kurt nodded but said nothing. "I'll be back in a couple of hours. Maybe we can hang out, get to know each other better?" Blaine suggested.
"Yeah, maybe." Kurt shrugged, even though he had no intention of doing so. Blaine smiled softly, wishing he could stay and talk with Kurt, before finally leaving for Warblers rehearsal.
Blaine ran all the way to the Warbler hall, his thoughts lingering on Kurt. Wes was on a rampage and the last thing he needed was to be late. Luckily, he arrived with a few minutes to spare.
"Hey, how's the new kid?" his best friend Nick asked him as soon as he walked in.
"He's ok I guess." Blaine told him with a half shrug. "He's pretty quiet."
"Yeah, that's what David told me. Do you know what happened?" Nick asked curiously.
"No. I asked but he didn't say anything. Whatever it was really broke him, I can tell." Blaine said sadly.
"Broke him like it broke you?" Nick asked, instantly concerned.
"I think so." Blaine said quietly.
"Well then, we'll just have to show him that being here is a good thing." Nick said confidently.
"That we will, Nick. That we will." Blaine agreed.
Blaine only paid partial attention to Warbler practice that night. His mind kept going back to how he was when he first arrived at Dalton and how much Kurt reminded him of his old self. He didn't know what it was that had broken Kurt, but he would do his best to help the beautiful boy the way his friends had helped him.