We are writers, we are celebrators, we are puppies.
A Lion King Christmas Carol
Disclaimer: I do not own the Walt Disney Company or any of its assets, such as Walt Disney Animation and Marvel. I also don't own any TV series mentioned in this fic, nor do I own the likeness of Bob Iger. I do control these things, to an extent. Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol is under public domain, I think.
EDIT: I made a couple of minor rewordings, removed the entire executive exposition plot, and corrected my translation mistake, I changed it from Msimu Tamasha to Jua Tamasha.
Stave One: Marty's Ghost
We cut to a shot of the barren Pridelands, superimposed snow falling onto it. Someone in the control room realized his mistake and turned off the snow. Then, from the top of the screen, in red and green font, covered in Christmas ornaments and unlit Christmas lights dropped the words A Lion King Christmas Carol. As the Christmas lights that covered it were lit, the words faded out and were replaced with the opening credits, also covered with lights and ornaments. As each opening credit changed, a new shot of the barren Pridelands was shown.
A Paranoid Puppies Fanfiction
Directed by Lucky C.P. Acros
Produced by Coco C.P. Pett
With Niketa Calame as Nala
Zoe Leader as Sarafina
Adolf Hitler as Scar
Micheal J. Fox as Marty
I Take That Back, Marty Hyena as Himself
Pooh Bear as Ed
Sarabi as Herself
Zazu as Zazu
Jim Henson as Kermit
backspace backspace backspace
Oh wait, you're supposed to press backspace...
Whoopi Goldberg as Shenzi
Pinky as Banzai
Mheetu as Himself
Darth Vader as Mufasa
Ahadi as Himself
Lucky as Himself
The PPFFD Employees as Themselves
and Jonathan T. as Narrator
There, ahem, italics-there was no doubt that Marty the hyena was dead. Rafiki, the pride's shaman, made sure of it, the king's majordomo, Zazu, had checked, even the former king, d-err, Mufasa had confirmed it. Scar's childhood friend was as dead as a rock, not saying that rocks are dead.
Scar had met Marty back when they were both young, along with Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed. In fact, he was the original leader of the quartet. When he grew up, while Scar continuously lived in the shadow of his brother, Marty went on to fight his way to leader of the hyena clan. This was back when hyena and lion, along with cheetahs, leopards, and other carnivores, lived together in peace in the Pridelands. Back when Scar's and Mufasa's father, Ahadi, ruled.
All that changed when a teenage Marty fought his way to leader of the clan, not only violating the strict "female monarch" rule, being neither of the royal family nor a girl, but also taking over the entire Pridelands and taking most of the food for himself. Whatever was left he gave to the hyenas. Nothing went to the other carnivores. Eventually, the lions, under the Prince Mufasa, took back control and the hyenas were "exiled" to the Graveyard. Sometime between the exile and the rise of Scar, Marty died.
And now you know.
After that, King Ahadi died, Mufasa became king, and, well, you should know. I mean, you should have at least watched the movie considering that you're here. Mufasa had a cub, Scar teamed up with what hyenas were left, Mufasa was killed, the cub disappeared, Scar rose to power, and so on.
Under Scar, the lionesses hunted and the hyenas ate. The hyenas, having not eaten anything since Ahadi's rule a couple years back, ate practically everything in the Pridelands. Unfortunately, Scar's rule co-in, coe-in, happened during a drought. When food started running out, Scar took most of it. The herds eventually moved away, only adding to the famine. Scar wouldn't even let the lionesses hunt beyond the borders, or let them have any of his food. Within months, the Pridelands were indistinguishable from the Elephant Graveyard, or the entire Outlands, all due to Scar not keeping a close eye.
The end of the first year under Scar was nearing, and it was time for the Msimu Wa Jua Solstice Tamasha, or Jua Tamasha for short. The Prideland holiday occurs several days before your Christmas, and some of its traditions are very similar to Christmas traditions. In short, it was a festival that celebrated the start of the sunny season, also known as Spring and Summer outside of the tropics.
Did I mention that Kenya is south of the equator, meaning that our seasons are reversed?
Ironically, it wasn't even sunny at all in the Pridelands, a big cloud of depression blanketed the lands, yet not a single drop of water to fall.
Now that we've gotten the exposition out of the way, let's get to the actual story.
It was only days until Jua Tamasha, and Scar was walking down the paths of what was left of the Pridelands. He passed by Sarafina, trying to catch field mice, and Nala, watching her.
"Hello Scar," said Sarafina.
"Hello Sarafina," Scar replied angrily.
"What, you're not in the Jua spirit?" asked the young and naive Nala, who was still trying to recover from the cub's death by acting happy.
"Bah," out of nowhere, a flying humming bug appeared and started humming in Scar's ear, "Humbug!" he finished, trying to swat it away with his paw, and missing, "Msimu is nothing but a day when you already good-for-nothing lionesses get to slack off from hunting!"
"But Jua Tamasha is a time for giving, a time for peace, a time for happiness," replied Nala. Sarafina started clapping.
Scar growled at Sarafina, telling her to shut up. She stopped clapping. Then the bug came back, "Bah humbug!" he missed again. "As for you," he pointed a claw at Nala's stomach, "I don't see what you see in Jua."
"It's just that it's been months since, you know, the stampede."
"Yes, yes, my brother dead and so on."
"No, well, yeah, but I was talking about..." she drifted off.
"Ah, your friend, the prince."
"So, Scar," said Sarafina, interrupting the awkward silence, "do you mind if I take the Tamasha off?"
"In my opinion, that's no reason for slacking off."
"It's only once a year."
Scar growled at her again, "As much as I despise that holiday, if you must take that day off, I will give you the day off, just come extra early tomorrow," Sarafina smiled.
"Happy Jua Tamasha!" exclaimed Nala as she left.
"Good night!" replied Scar, "Now, I'll be in my cave next to Pride Rock. If you need me, don't!"
Scar was not one to be bothered by the heat that came with Jua Tamasha. Even with the clouds, it was still pretty hot in the Pridelands, not as hot as other Msimus, but hotter that during the msimu wa mvua. It was starting to get dark.
When Scar got to his cave, it was already completely dark. The lionesses and the hyenas had already settled in and around Pride Rock. As he walked in, he, for a second, thought he saw one of the rocks look like Marty, but when he looked at the rock more closely, it turned back into a round rock.
"I must be going crazy! Marty's dead!"
Scar normally liked the darkness, but this time, he was worried. As the lion went to his bed, he looked around, trying to see anything that may look like Marty. Finally, when he was sure there was nobody around, he went to lie down in his bed. He heard a noise, a DING that humans would recognize as the sound of a bell ringing, that kept repeating. It started off low, but got louder and louder: ding...ding... Ding...Ding...DING...DING, DING, DING! Then it suddenly stopped.
A light lit from the front of his cave, and paw-steps, along with the sound of chains rubbing against the rocky floor, came towards him. Then that same humming bug came back, "Humbug!"
Then he saw it, the mangled, pale, transparent figure of a hyena, wrapped up in animal skins. Very transparent. He once heard Marty had no bowels, but he never believed it until now. The hyena dragged behind him chains, animal bones, and small rabbit cages.
"W-w-who are you?" Scar fearfully asked the ghost.
"I am who I used to be, back when I was alive. I used to be Marty," the figure replied.
"I don't believe it!"
"You can hear me, you can see me, what more proof do you need?"
"Well, sometimes a bit of bad meat may affect my eyes and ears, for all I know you could be a bad piece of field mouse!"
"But I am not," Marty unwrapped the animal skin holding his snout together, and his jaw fell, literally, to the floor. As he put it back on, Scar looked at him in horror, "Do you believe me now?"
"W-w-what do you want with me?"
Marty gestured at his chains, "See these chains, I spent my life building this chain, a life of selfishness, of arrogance, of megalomania. I didn't care about others, I only cared about myself, and now I must pay, walking these lands, bound by my own chains, watching others' happiness, until the end of time."
Scar looked at his own paws, worried that he would see chains covering him.
"But how are you here, and why?
"I actually don't know why you've only seen me now, I've always been here. In fact, ever since I died, I have been wandering the Graveyard and the Pridelands, asking myself, what could have been? I came here, days before Jua Tamasha, to warn you."
"Warn me, warn me of what?"
"I came to warn you that if you do not change your ways, you will suffer a similar punishment like me. I am going to give you a chance to prove yourself."
Scar started kissing his paws, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"You will be haunted by three ghosts."
Scar looked up at his face, "Please don't tell me that is the second chance you were telling me about."
"I rather wouldn't."
"I rather wouldn't."
"Unless you are visited by these ghosts, you have no chance of a peaceful death. The first spirit will come tomorrow night, when the bells ring again," Marty ran out of the cave, followed by other spirits, attached to the same chain, leaving a very confused, but sleepy Scar. He fell asleep in a snap.
A/N: By the way, I'm not sure how exactly how seasons in Kenya work, so I just mixed what I knew of tropical weather with stuff I made up. If you want to know what " Msimu Wa Jua Solstice Tamasha" means, try using Google Translate. If not, I'll tell you next chapter. No flames. Please send constructive critisism, I know some the the phrases sound awkward, it's because I keep on mixing the Old English from the book with the more casual speech of the supposed Narrator.