SUMMARY: Confident Nerd!Quinn (w/ girl peen) wants stuck-up Cheerio!Rachel, but Rachel repeatedly rejects her dorky attempts to woo her…Until Harmony arrives at Mckinely and seems to upstage Rachel, in every way, especially when it comes to getting Quinn's attention.
**Something a little fun and smutty…Yeah, I know I have like three unfinished stories going on right now, but this idea has been popping up in my head, a lot, lately. Let me know what you think!
Chapter 1: Oh Kryptonite!
As soon as I see her enter the hallway, with her short messy blonde hair, hideous blue Superman shirt, skinny rolled up high-water jeans, big Converse shoes, Superman logo tie, and bright red suspenders, I duck my head in my locker. I hear the jocks call her a nerd, and I look over my shoulder right before they shove past her, pushing her into the metal trash can that she knocks over, while trying to keep from falling on her face…which she does, anyway. The laughter that follows is not surprising; even I giggle when she quickly gets up and tries to play it off like she planned the whole thing.
"And that's how you make an entrance, people!" She beams and tucks her thumbs under her suspenders, proudly.
"Move it, Super Geek!" My best friend Santana shouts, from behind the blonde, before smacking her head as she passes. Quinn narrows her eyes at the Latina, in a dorky attempt to give her the evil eye.
"Hi, Quinn! That was really cool!" My other best friend, Brittany, compliments.
"Britt, baby, don't encourage the dweeb," Santana pulls her girlfriend away and walks toward me. Quinn's eyes follow them, until…
"Hey, Rach!" She's waving like a five-year old.
I groan and stick my head back in my locker.
"I can get rid of her; just say the word." Santana offers, with an all too eager grin. I almost fear for the blonde, but I shrug and say…
When Quinn makes her way over, I shut my locker and turn to look at her; she's smiling like a happy puppy…all she's missing is a wagging tail.
"She's STILL not interested, dork." Santana says and grabs Quinn's forearm and drags her to the nearest restroom; Brittany and I follow.
"Let go! What are you doing?" Quinn protests, as she's being pushed into an empty stall. "Oh no, no! Not-" The rest of her shouting is muffled by her gurgling and the flushing of the toilet. When the swirling of the water stops, Santana let's go of the blonde's now wet hair.
"And that's how you make a point, people!" The Latina mockingly laughs, as we make our way out of the restroom.
I am the last one out; and before the door completely shuts behind me, I hear Quinn shout, "Totally worth it!"
I smile and shake my head, without answering or looking back.
After first period, I go to my locker and switch out my English notes for my Biology book. When I shut my locker, I'm greeted by a dopey faced, well-combed Quinn. I stare at her hair for a few seconds because it's styled like a fifties greaser.
"Ah, so you like what you see?" She says with a quirk of her eyebrow. "You can thank Santana because I really had to do something with my wet hair."
"Pfft, please! You look…you look..."
"Desirable?" She smirks and tucks her thumbs under her suspenders, again.
"You look like a doofus. Now, excuse me; I don't want to be late for Biology," I force out, before I become completely flustered by the blonde's new hair.
Quinn simply snorts and slightly bows, as she gestures for me to lead the way. I roll my eyes when she easily keeps in stride with me, even though I am practically speed walking to class, which we share.
"So, Rachel; I've just been informed, via eavesdropping, that Noah Puckerman will be throwing an impromptu gathering at his place of residence, this nightfall…And I was humoring myself with the wonderment that maybe you would like to accompany me to the event?"
I scoff at the idea. Is she serious? Why on Earth would I go to a party, or any social event, with her? I'm not even sure if she's capable of functioning like a normal human being; I mean she's super awkward and…I just…I heard about her "condition;" everyone has. When it first hit the gossip circuit, I seriously thought she would run away and never look back, but she didn't care and still doesn't. I guess I can admire that about her; the fact that everyone knows she's a chick with a dick and the cruel bullying she used to go through, it doesn't change who she is. I mean, people recognized this untouchable side of her, and thus have toned down the taunting. Now, they just focus on the fact that she is a complete dork, but she doesn't seem to mind the nerd teasing, either. Still..."I wouldn't be caught dead, Quinn. Besides, I hardly think that you are even welcome to attend. I'll be surprised if you reach the front door before someone tosses you in the curbside trash can."
I shake my head at her insistence and walk to my usual seat, which Quinn absentmindedly pulls out for me. She's done it so many times that she isn't even aware that she does it anymore; and I don't even bother trying to refuse her chivalry, at this point. When I'm seated, she's still yammering on about the party, as she pulls out the empty chair, next to me, so she can sit. Before she plants her nerdy self down, Santana moves the chair out from under her, causing the blonde to fall on her ass. You'd think after so many times, she'd learn, but Quinn never seems to learn when it comes to these types of things.
"Thanks for saving me a seat, Point Dexter!" Santana and I laugh, when Quinn gets up and slings her ridiculous Superman backpack, complete with cape, over her shoulder, before turning around and accidently knocking some girl's books out of her hands. Our laughter rises in volume when Quinn immediately kneels down and picks up the items.
"Aw man, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! I didn't see you!" The blonde blurts out.
The girl just watches Quinn fumble with the books and giggles. "That's okay; it's my fault, really. I was actually checking out your ass, so I wasn't paying attention."
"Huh?" Quinn, Santana, and I respond, in unison.
The girl drags her index finger down Quinn's Superman tie and bites her bottom lip, "I'm new, here; my name is Harmony. What's yours?"
The expression on the blonde's face is priceless; I'm sure my own expression looks very similar.
"Uh, I'm a-My name is uh-I go by-"
"Her name is Super Geek!" Santana interrupts and nudges me out of my stupor, as I force a chuckle.
"Or Lady Cock!" Karofsky shouts and throws a rolled up piece of paper at Quinn's face.
"Um…Lady Cock?" The bright-eyed girl asks, obviously confused.
Quinn looks embarrassed and she awkwardly shifts from foot to foot, as she looks down at her big ass Converse shoes. "Uh yeah…I kind of uh…I mean, I basically, technically, actually…"
Santana giggles at the uncomfortable blonde. "Just say it, Einstein! She's gonna find out sooner or later!" She urges with a shove to her shoulder, which causes Quinn to give her that seriously non-threatening look. She momentarily looks at me, but bites her bottom lip and looks back down when my eyes return the gaze.
I instantly redden; I have no idea why. I guess it could be the fact that she has a gigantic crush on me and has no problem saying so. She is very confident in herself; I've seen her stand-up to people when they tried to humiliate her and her…penis. The weird thing is she never really talked about it or even mentioned it to me before; it's kind of like an unspoken rule between us. I actually hate to admit it, but I kind of wish she would bring it up…I mean, bring the discussion up, not bring "it" up, as in her…you know? Then again, what do I expect? How inappropriate and awkward would that be for her to just be like "Hey Rach, wanna engage in a discussion about the penis I am not supposed to have?" I mean she is fairly self-assured, for being a geeky girl with a penis, but she's still kind of shy around me, at least when it comes to her not so private privates.
She gives me one last look, as if she is trying to ask me if I'll treat her any different if she says it out loud, in my presence.
"Everyone knows; just say it!" Santana orders her. I almost want to tell my best friend to shut up and let Quinn make her own decisions, but before I can do so the blonde opens her mouth and says…
"I have male genitals…as in a fully-functioning penis and testicles. It's basically a "born this way" thing, so I uh…Yeah…I'm just going to go find a rock to crawl under." The blonde turns on her heel, with her hands nervously gripping the straps of her Superman backpack, but before she can take a step, the new girl stops her.
"Why? I mean, if Super Geek crawls under a rock, I won't have anyone who can protect me when I go to that mo-hawked jock's party, tonight…and I really, really need a super hero to escort me, in case some horny teenage boy tries to take advantage of me."
The blonde smiles, as the new girl's teasing finger strokes the S logo on her chest. "Sure," is all Quinn says before being pulled to the back of the room by her tie.
"Whoa, what the fuck was that?" Asks Santana, who is completely in shock.
"Slut," I mumble under my breath.
"Nothing," I quickly respond.
"Seriously, did I just see what I think I just saw! That totally hot chick just came in and-"
"Stole Quinn," I mumble, again.
"Nothing!" I say, with a bit of annoyance.
"Whatever, looks like the Dork-a-nator won't be bothering you, anymore; especially since she's working on her Harmony."
I follow Santana's gaze and gasp when I the new girl blatantly flirting with Quinn, who is trying not to fall off her chair from excitement. What the Hell? She was…She just…Quinn's supposed to be trying to get me to go with her to Puck's stupid party!
"She's not even that pretty," I say, before turning back around to face the front of the room.
"Who? Quinn? I don't know, Rach…Even though she's fucking dorky as ALL kinds of Hell and has that lady cock between her legs…she is kinda sexy. Hey, even I get a little turned on when I manhandle her and shove her around for you; she'd be perfect to dominate."
I snap my head to the side and look at my best friend, who just laughs and shrugs as if to say: "I'm just being honest."
"I was talking about Harmony…Quinn's just desperate, since I keep rejecting her." I almost convince myself that it's the truth, but Santana is right…
"Ha! I just think you're a little jealous of her! I mean, your little puppy didn't even breathe in your direction, once she laid sight on ol' blue eyes, over there…Looks like she found another leg to hump."
"Shut up, Santana!" I yell, causing the class full of gossiping students to momentarily stop and stare. I glare at my friend, who has a shit-eating grin on her face. I scowl and spend the rest of the class, willing myself to not turn around and steal a glance at the two girls, in the back of the room. I busy myself by scribbling down notes, as the Mr. Whatshisface talks about the human heart. Thirty minutes pass without a single thought of the girls behind me, when all of a sudden…
"Quinn…Since you seem to be so distracted, I'm assuming that you already know all about the muscle that's pounding in your chest, correct?" I can see that Mr. Whateverhisnameis is annoyed that his usual star pupil has been too busy squirming in her seat to pay attention to what he was saying.
"Huh?" She squeaks out. I glance at a hands-under-the-desk Harmony, who is smiling at Quinn, as she tries to keep a straight face.
"The human heart, Quinn! Why don't you tell us all about it."
At this point the whole class is turned and is staring at the blushing blonde, while she struggles to formulate words. "Uh…The human h-heart is uh, eigh-eighteen inches from the mou-mouth. It has four ch-ch-chambers, two up-upper chambers and two lower chambers. The septum di-divides the left and ri-right heart; the right side pumps de-ox uh de-oxygenated blood into the lungs…And the left side, it UGH! It uh…" She looks like she is about to puke or pass out, but she grips the edge of her table as if it will help her from looking any more uncomfortable. "The left…it PUMPS! It pu-pumps…Geez, I gotta! Oh, Kryptonite!" She bangs one of her fists on the table and she bites the knuckles on the other.
I notice Harmony smirk and shift her hands around under the table and the second she pulls her hands up from their hiding position, Quinn bolts out of the room. Everyone is laughing at the awkward moment, except Harmony and I; we are too busy glaring at each other.
When the bell, signaling the end of second period, sounds I waste no time; I head straight to my locker, knowing that Quinn will be there to escort me to my third period class, like she always does. I stall an extra three minutes, which leaves me late and alone in the hall, but she doesn't show. I huff and slam my locker shut, when I see her turn the corner. I narrow my eyes and make my way toward her; I know she sees me, while I act as if I don't see her.
"Rach! Wait up!" She shouts when I push past her.
"I don't have the time for you, Quinn. I don't know why you insist on following me everywhere; you're wasting your time because for the record…I am not interested!" I stop walking, only for her to bump into my back.
"I just wanted to-"
"No, Quinn!" I shove her against the lockers, in the empty hall, and get in her face. "What do I have to do to make you understand that I am not even remotely attracted to you?"
She sort of looks terrified, but her lips twist into a dorky smirk and she says, "You'd have to take your right hand off the button of my pants, your left off my tie, annnnnd you'd have to stop staring at my lips and breathing against my collarbone like that."
I gasp and push myself off her, straighten my Cheerios uniform and storm off down the hall, towards Geometry. I don't know what has gotten into me, but I'm too embarrassed to turn around when I hear…
"See you in Spanish, Mi Amor!"
When I get to my third period AP Geometry class, a new surge of frustration hits me. Not only is she sitting in MY seat, she's also smiling at me like she's rubbing the victory in my face. I scowl when I realize the only empty desk is the one next to the chair-stealer. After setting my things down, I pull out my notebook at jot down the math problems on the board, while trying not to internally solve my own problems, instead. I can't help but glance at her from the corner of my eye; she looks so focused and it annoys me that I seem to be annoyed by her when the only thing I know about her is her name…Harmony. Pfft, her name is annoying; so the fact that I kind of already hate her is somewhat valid, right? I shift my eyes back to my notes when I see her hand, quickly, slide a folded paper onto my desk. I look up at her so I can roll my eyes at her, but she is staring at the board, as if she didn't just interrupt my learning. I shake my head and unfold the note, only to be attacked by a stampede of emotions.
Harmony: Hey, I just wanted to know if you are interested in anyone…more specifically, Quinn?
I re-read the words numerous times, times in which shock, confusion, curiosity, annoyance, anger, blind fury, and worry bombarded every inch of my soul. First off, that was unexpected. Second, why is she asking? Third: If I am interested (I'm not saying I am, because Quinn is a complete doofus!), what would it matter to her? Fourth: It's none of her god damn business, anyway! Fifth: She has a lot of frickin' nerve to ask me like she cares, especially when she was flirting with Quinn before she even knew if she was taken or not! Sixth: I HATE HER! And seventh: If I was interested (hypothetically speaking, because seriously…Quinn is totally lame!) I don't think she would care, especially since I know she was giving my Quinn…I mean Quinn a hand job under the table in Biology! Just because everyone was too stupid or distracted by the blonde's weird squirming to notice she was being manually pleasured, doesn't mean it went unnoticed, by me; and judging by what I saw…I don't know if I can compete with that (not that I would want to, because like I said…Quinn is…
Rachel: Quinn is a major dork! No way am I interested in her, but that doesn't stop her from trying to convince me otherwise. What's it to you, anyway?
I slide the note back to the girl and anxiously await a response. I want to see what her angle is; I want to see if she's serious about Quinn, or if she's just looking to take advantage of the sexy blonde. UGH! I meant desperate geek…Quinn is definitely NOT sexy!
Harmony: Just wondering 'cuz Quinn is FREAKIN' sexy! I thought you were into her since you were the only one who seemed to know what happened in Bio and you looked mad. I just wanted to know if I would have to step on toes to get her, but don't worry I'll be getting her out of your hair in no time!
UGH! Quinn is mine! I swear I'm going to punch this girl; she is such a bitch…She even, unnecessarily, writes lengthier than I do! Not to mention, she is extremely confident and she is just as competitive as I am; if not more! Whatever, we'll see who gets Quinn!
Rachel: You seem confident that you can get Quinn to let me go…Good luck with that!
Yeah, that's right, bitch…I dare you!
Harmony: GAME ON.
**Again, let me know if you like/dislike/love/hate…I want to know if I should continue. If I do, I won't let it interrupt updates on my other stories…PROMISE! Thanks for reading :)