Behind These Hazel Eyes
Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creator of Glee.
Rachel did not know what to do. She was paralyzed by fear, embarrassment, and confusion. Had that really just happened? Had Quinn just announced her love for her in front of everyone that they knew? 'Oh god…' As she glanced around the room it was clear that she was not the only one who was stunned by the admittance. Santana and Brittany both ran after their friend, and everyone else was talking loudly amongst themselves. Some angry, some surprised, some bored and impatiently waiting to leave.
A minute passed by that felt like years and she realized that she had not been breathing, her chest was clenching painfully around her heart, and she almost feared she would pass out. This was all too much. It wasn't fair. In one minute she knew what she wanted, she knew what she needed to want at the very least, now she knew nothing.
She could feel eyes on her from every angle, prying eyes. Questioning what she had done, what she was going to do, if she were going to commence with the wedding or run after Quinn. Rachel wished that she had the answers. She did not want to hurt Finn, she loved him, but she did not wish to hurt Quinn either. They were the two most important people in her life and it was inevitable, she would lose one of them today. It made her nauseous.
Taking a moment she tried to think the situation over rationally, make a list in her mind, find the right path, but she was drawing a blank. Nothing could have prepared her for this. Rachel just kept returning to the kiss that they had shared during the game. How amazing it had felt, how her body had reacted to Quinn's lips and touch, how badly she had wanted her.
Finn reached out placing a hand on the short brunette's shoulder, drawing her attention to him. Quickly she turned and looked up at her boyfriend. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked as confused as she felt. "Rach, are we gonna finish? Everyone's kinda waiting."
Rachel nodded her head, although her mind was lost on the blonde who had just paraded out of the building. Moving back to her position in front of her fiancé she looked up at him and forced a smile onto her full lips as he smiled down at her. She wasn't happy though, she was not confident in her decision anymore.
"Finn…" She whispered out. Maybe if she could just put off the wedding long enough to give Quinn a chance and see that this was what she wanted, then it would all be alright, but he wasn't going to go for that.
"Shh babe, there getting to the best part. Don't worry, we'll be married soon then you can deal with Quinn and her drama."
The people watching the display quieted down and started to pay attention to the wedding once more, but Rachel's thoughts were on Quinn. Her mind continued to relay what had happened at the party, in the hallway, and now, and she could not help but think about the beautiful blonde crying alone. She didn't want to be the cause of her tears. Her heart pounded painfully in her chest and she tried to focus her large brown eyes on her fiancé's, trying to internally remind herself of all the reasons that she loved him, but she could not think of a single reason.
The time that she was dreading came and she was asked to say those words. Those words that would tie her to Finn till death did them part, and she choked. Rachel had always feared that she would choke; of course she had always thought it would be during an audition or on Broadway, but this was just as embarrassing. She couldn't say those two simple words. She could not tell Finn that she did want to marry him, and he was looking at her with hurt brown eyes.
"Finn…I…" Her voice trailed off.
"The answer is I do, Rach." He told her, his voice dangerously low and shaking. He was not the most intelligent man, but he could tell something was going on between Rachel and Quinn, obviously, and that Rachel doubted their marriage. "I know you care about Quinn and your worried, but she'll be there, after."
"I know that Finn, it's not that. I just… I…" She could not say the words. As hurt covered his face, she felt terrible, she didn't want to break his heart in front of everyone. This wasn't right to him, he hadn't done anything wrong. She just felt differently about Quinn than she did about Finn, there was a connection that was missing between him and her, and she wanted to explore it.
Taking in a deep breath she knit her brows together and closed her eyes, not capable of looking into his when she said the following sentence. "I apologize Finn, I do love you. You mean the world to me, it's just, I'm confused and I am not ready for this. I'm sorry, but I need to go after her."
"Dude, seriously? You can't just walk out now; it's pretty much over anyway. Just say I do and then you can go find her. It's not that hard." His voice grew louder and he was practically shouting at the starlet now, raising his hands into the air and waving them. It made no sense to him, why would she chase after a friend that used to treat her like shit instead of get married to him?
"I am aware that it is almost over, but I need to speak with her first." Rachel whispered out in a hushed tone of voice as she turned away from him.
"Rach, wait—" Finn reached out to her, but she shrugged his hand away.
Tears filled her large brown eyes and she pushed them away as she started to run, down the aisle and out the front doors. Honestly, she was lost. She didn't know who she wanted to be with, she didn't know what to do, but she knew that she was not prepared or ready to commit herself to someone for life. Not when she was so confused about her own feelings. It broke her, knowing that she had hurt two people she loved, but she would make things right. First, she needed to find Quinn.
The guests watched as she ran out of the chapel, their eyes a mixture of emotions.
Rachel had no idea where to look for Quinn. She doubted that she would go back to her house, not after her mother had found out, in fact she probably would never return home. So where would she have headed? She checked for her in all of the popular hangouts in Lima, but she had not found her at any of them, so she decided to head to the one place that they always seemed to meet. In a way the bathroom was theirs.
It was the same place that Rachel always went to clean up the slushies, and the same place that Quinn went to cry. But it was also the same place that they always subconsciously met each other, and perhaps part of the brunette hoped that she was waiting for her.
Rachel looked down at herself and realized that her beautiful dress was stained; she had run around the city, searching for over an hour now. This was her last resort and she highly doubted that Quinn would be in the bathroom, she didn't even know if it would be unlocked.
She felt so guilty about running out on Finn; she still didn't know why she had done it. Aside from the chance with Quinn, there was no reason to do so. She loved him, he loved her, and that should have been enough for her. Perhaps deep down she had said yes to his proposal for the reasons that the blonde had said, just because she needed a backup plan for her world that was crashing down. Did she even love Finn anymore? Sometimes it felt like she never really loved him, that she was merely infatuated by the thought of someone so popular being attracted to her.
But sometimes it felt like love.
Making her way into the bathroom Rachel was slightly surprised to see that Quinn was sitting in the corner with her head in her arms, sobbing loudly.
"What are you doing here Rachel?" Quinn's voice echoed through the bathroom as she glanced up at her through tear-filled hazel eyes, her makeup running down her face. She looked destroyed and Rachel knew it was her fault.
Brown eyes widened at the sight and she rushed across the bathroom, lifting her dress, heels clacking against the ground, before sitting down beside the beautiful woman. Neither of them said anything, they just stared into each other's eyes. Finally Rachel spoke. "Hello." She breathed out, her voice so soft that it was barely audible. A smile graced her lips that made her feel guilty, but just looking into Quinn's eyes, just being this close to her, made her smile.
"Hello." She said in response, a small smile gracing her pink lips as she sniffled a little. Again a silence filled the room as they both contemplated what they should say; it was easier to just say nothing. But, Quinn needed to know. "Did you go through with the wedding?"
Rachel chewed on her cheeks momentarily whilst Quinn waited impatiently for the inevitable answer. Letting out a groan she buried her head back in her arms. "Never mind, I don't want to know."
"I did not finalize the ceremony Quinn, I walked out before saying I do."
The blonde's head snapped up at this and her hazel eyes widened as she stared at the diva, looking over her face, confused. "Wait, what did you just say?" She nearly laughed as she realized that Rachel had not married Finn, that she possibly had turned him down in order to chase after her.
"I said that I did not marry Finn."
"But—but why Rachel, you said—"
"—I know what I said."
Quinn paused, chewing on her bottom lip and searching large brown eyes for answers. "What does this mean Rachel?"
"Honestly, I do not know Quinn. I suppose it means that I felt something with you that I never felt with Finn, and I want to believe that you love me, however implausible that seems to me, I want to give this, whatever this is, a chance."
"I do." Quinn whispered out softly, looking down.
"I do not understand—"
"—I do love you."
This silenced the brunette who now appeared to be deep in thought, contemplating the chain of events leading up to where they were. "Quinn?"
"I do love Finn. I may not have the same connection with him, but I do harbor feelings for him, and I cannot guarantee that this will end positively for us. But, this, with you and I, I have never felt anything like it." She admitted, a blush tainting her cheeks and a bashful smile forming on her lips.
"What do you mean?"
"When you kissed me, when you stopped the wedding, I felt a strange sort of happiness. I never wanted you to stop kissing me, and I think—" She paused, reaching out to move a stray strand of blonde hair behind Quinn's ear. "—I think that you were correct. That I did accept the proposal for the wrong reasons, and deep down I secretly wanted you to stop the wedding."
Hazel eyes glanced back up at her and Rachel got lost in them. She felt like she were drowning, but she did not wish to be saved. "Quinn, please say something, I am rather embarrassed…" Her blush deepened as Quinn still did not say anything in response to her admittance.
Moving forward, she pulled Rachel closer to her by the back of her neck, probably serving to mess up her hair even further, but neither cared. Quinn pressed her lips against Rachel's in a heated and passionate kiss, moaning out into the softness of them, indulging in the taste of them.
Perhaps this could be love?
The drama is not over, but the story is getting closer to being over. Still I love your encouragement and I will have the next chapter up very soon if I get some lovin's. :) Regardless, I do hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Thank you all for reading!