Inspired by the song 'No Light, No Light' from the album Ceremonials of Florence + The Machine.
I just wanted to share my grief and how miserable I am.
'You're the hole in my heart...'
No matter ho much I stare at you. Or how hard I try to persuade you to stay where you are.
I'm going to fall...
'You're the space in my bed...'
I'm starting to ask myself why my bed felt so big and cold. Obviously it's big enough for me. I know we can fit together perfectly.
'You're the silence in between...'
John Watson is the silence that makes me company when I'm alone. You're the only silence left when he shot himself.
'You are the morning when it's clear...'
John is always complaining about the darkness of our flat. He opens the curtains and our windows. He also says sunlight is a gift of God. At the top of this building I'm watching him talking to me. And the sunlight is over us, illuminating my fall...
'When it's over, you are the start
You're my head and you're my heart...'
I wish I could say it. But I'm going to jump.
'No light, no light
In your bright blue eyes...'
I'm at the top of the building where we first met. You can only see my dark silhouette. But I can see your blue eyes. You don't want to believe this but I'm a fake...
'You can't choose what stays
And what fades away
And I'd do anything to make you stay...'
They need to see me fall. They need me to be dead.
And I need you to be alive.
'No light no light
Tell me what do you want me to say...'
Because if I could, I would, John.
'Through the crowd I was crying out and
In your place there were a thousand
I was disappearing in plain sight
Heaven help me, I need to make it right...'
Down there people keep walking, they are seeing you talking to me, trying to run after me. No one raises their head to see me falling.
You're the only one.
'You want a revelation
You want to get right
But it's a conversation
I just can't have tonight...'
Because I'm going to jump. I'm going to fall. There's no tonight for us.
'But would you leave me,
If I told you what I've done
And would you leave me
If I told you what I've become...'
I beat him. I'm a fraud, John Watson. I'm not clever. I'm not the only consultive detectve of the world.
''Cause it's so easy,
To sing it to a crowd
But it's so hard, my love
To say it to you, all alone...'
Don't run after me. Don't try to save me. Stay where you are. The world will be better without me, John. You need to understand it.
The paramedics run after his body covered with blood. He's trying to touch him. To feel him
He has no pulse.
'He's my friend.'
Sherlock Homes is dead.
Reviews are always welcome. Sorry for this angst, but it's hard not to write angst after what happened yesterday and plus that some personal problems.
Thanks for reading!