Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. Except maybe Sam.
Sam hated that Artie let them do this to him. Why couldn't he just stand up and say "enough"? Sometimes her best friend didn't make any sense to her at all. That afternoon was being spent the usual way, Artie playing target dummy for the incredibly vain Lancelot and his posse of dim-witted musclemen. Sam stood waiting in the shade of entryway in the wall. There seemed to be some kind of commotion going on behind her in the common area, but she found herself unable to look away from Lancelot barreling towards Artie on his horse, as much as she wanted to.
Just as Artie was getting thrown across the jousting field, the source of the commotion became clear. Lancelot was, not surprisingly, praising himself on his amazing joust against the defenseless person on a wooden horse when the odd group entered the field. An ogre, a donkey, and a cat. Definitely not expected. They didn't seem to notice Sam leaning against the wall behind them.
The ogre started walking towards the jousting team and Artie, who was lying on the ground. "Strong, handsome, face of a leader. Does Arthur look like a king or what?" the ogre said. Sam started. He couldn't be talking about her Arthur, could he? What did they want with Artie?
Sam watched as the ogre accidently stepped on Arthur where he was lying. "Oh! Sorry."
"Did you just say you were looking for Arthur?" Artie said.
The ogre walked passed him. As the cat passed, he said, "That information is on a need-to-know basis."
The donkey chimed in, "It's top secret! Hushity-Hush!"
After they had gone past, Artie got to his feet and came over to where Sam was standing. "Hey, Sam," he said.
"Hey. What's that about?" she asked, pointing to the strange group that was talking to the jousting team.
"I don't know. I thought they said something about looking for an Arthur."
"I think they think that Lancelot is you!" Sam said just as Lancelot pointed in their direction. "You might want to get out of here."
"Yeah," he agreed, looking over at his shoulder at them. "See you at the assembly?"
She smiled. "Yep. Not much of a choice in that." With a nod, Artie took off to get lost in the rest of the campus.
"Hey!" the ogre called. But Arthur was already gone. He turned to follow him, but was stopped by none other than Guinevere of Galorus. The beautiful, shallow, "queen" of Worcestershire Academy. Also, Artie's crush for years. Too bad she would probably never give him the time of day. Not that she was worth it, anyways. One would think Artie deserve more than to be pinning after someone whose greatest desire was a throne and was convinced that everyone wanted to be her. She came up with her entourage of Tiffany, Britanny of Britanny and Viviane and Niniane of Avalon. The "Fair Maidens of Worcestershire Academy," they were called.
The ogre had already looked irritated before the girls showed up. "This is like, totally embarrassing, but my friend Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly. She thought perchance thou would ask her to the Homecoming Dance, or something." The group of girls started walking up behind Guinevere as she talked.
The ogre was incredulous. "Excuse me?"
"It's like, whatever. She's just totally into college guys and mythical creatures and stuff."
Wow. That was the only word that came to Sam's mind after what she had just heard. The ogre stormed past them with his friends following. Sam watched him walk by, hoping Artie had found a good hiding place, because that ogre did not look happy.