Disclaimer: Do we own Inuyasha? No. Do we own the music we reccomend? No. Do we own anything else we don't own? No. Do we own our awesomeness? Maybe. Read on, and we might own something worth owning. =)
Song Rec. For This Chapter: Fallen Angel by Aimee B
Match Made In Limbo
He was an angel, kicked out of Heaven for his odd demonic ways. She was a demon, cast away from Hell for her weird heavenly acts. To get back home they have to participate in a collection of 'fight 'till death' battles- where millions go in, but only five come out. Can these two opposites work together to finally deem themselves worthy of going back home? Or will they be stopped by their greatest enemy- love?
~ Heaven, please sing for me a song of life. Heaven, take me into your skies ~
Chapter One: Heaven's Instant Message
"Inuyasha," She started, staring at the man before her with a cold and unwavering gaze. She always hated these meetings with the hanyou-gone-angel. Her words never seemed to get through to him, no matter how many times she was forced to speak with him. The under payed secretary let out a mental sigh, that she seemed to be doing a lot lately, as she hesitantly opened the thickly packed folder from the cramped desk she sat behind.
Inuyasha Takahashi File #666.
At least fifty papers flew out of the folder after she had opened it, all of them stamped with the same exact word in bold red letters: Dismissed. She was honestly too nice to this man sitting in front of her- a smug look on his young face (even though he was at least 900 years old). If she could, she would spit out every crude feeling she felt about him (all of them running along the lines of hatred, annoyance, etcetera) and leave. Just flat out leave.
But, she had a job, and that job required her to stay and deal with all of her workers' petty little problems.
In this case, the "petty little problem" was the worker himself. "You do understand that this is your sixty-fifth meeting with me, right?" She asked- not expecting an answer, of course- as she scanned over the new report that had been stuffed inside his folder. Based on the way the sheet was crinkled on some sides, she could tell that it must have been something mind plucking. He must have done something pretty bad if even Houjo, the person who filed all complaints, got frustrated.
Reading over the report again, she groaned. "You crashed another car into an office building, Inuyasha?"
The once abnormally quiet man then erupted into a fit of laughter, slamming his fist onto the arm of his chair repeatedly. "No, Midoriko," He breathed in between laughs. "that, that was an accident! You see, Rin and I-"
"Inuyasha!" Midoriko interrupted, stopping his explanation before it could go to far. It was always an accident with this one, and it always involved someone else who usually would never do anything along the lines of stupid. This time, the unlucky partner in crime was Rin Noto #718. The poor girl. "You can't keep doing things like this! I'm really worried about you, Inuyasha. After seeing all of these reports you have here, I don't think Father will let you stay here anymore. You just might get kicked out of Heaven,"
As quickly as it had come, his amused expression faded into a shocked one. He gawked at the older woman seated before him with a look that clearly read, 'Are you effing kidding me?'.
Reading his expression easily, Midoriko nodded sadly. "In your lifetime here, you've kicked five people off of clouds, you've stabbed three people as some weird kind of joke, you've smashed ten cars into two different office buildings, you've bombed the homes of at least seven people, you've got into about ten fist fights, and youv'e indirectly cursed out Father in public on his birthday," She began massaging her temples out of pure and utter irritation. "All in all, you jacked up your life here, Inuyasha,"
"But, they were all just jokes!" He tried as an excuse. "I only kicked those people off of those clouds because they were asking for it! I mean, who just stands at the edge of a cloud for no apparent reason? Obviously, they wanted to get pushed off!"
"Your'e missing the point here, Inuya-"
"A-and I stabbed those people because I thought it would be funny! You can't die once you've gotten to Heaven, and you can't feel pain either!"
"You can definitely feel annoyed, though,"
"And the smashing cars into buildings thing, that was all an accident. I can't drive, you know that. I mean, I was fifteen when I oh-so sadly passed," He yelled before suddenly lowering his voice down to a quiet whisper. "The fights were for reasons that I cannot speak about right now. Someone, by the name of Father, may be listening in on this conversation and my stories of violence are strictly confidential,"
"Inuyasha!" Midoriko interrupted for the second time since their practically one-sided conversation started. When Inuyasha only continued to babble on and on about the why's and the reasons, she slammed her fist onto her shamefully unorganized and cluttered desk. This accidentally leading to even more papers from different files to fly and scatter around her office's floor. He really knew how to frustrate her, the usually calm and collected woman who served as Father's top secretary. No wonder she could see strands of gray hairs growing out of her head (though, that was really all in her mind).
Leaning back in her chair a bit, Midoriko looked at Inuyasha with one of the most unamused looks she could muster. "I don't think I can help you this time, Inuyasha. It's in my job to report all of this to Father and let him decide your fate. High chance you'll be out of Heaven's gates by this evening." She sighed once again. "I suggest you start packing your bags with whatever useless junk you own now. You know, to save you the trouble,"
As Midoriko spoke her heart strumming, absolutely caring words of faith, Inuyasha's mind could only think of one, multi-defined word...'Fuuuck'.
"You are such a fool, Inuyasha," Kikyou muttered under her breath, watching through bored eyes as her closest friend, frantically paced back in forth across their shared room. Sighing to herself, she tiredly lay back across the king sized bed and closed her eyes, ignoring the way Inuyasha mumbled to himself about who knows what.
"I'm getting kicked out...of Heaven. The number one place to live. After 900 years, I'm being kicked out! Just like that! Oh my God, this is horrible! Wait, God, did you hear that? I said my God, meaning I love you! So, please don't make me go!" He said to himself, tilting his head back to look up at the apartment's ceiling. He could only hope that whomever was up there was listening to his pleas of forgiveness.
But, wait! He was already "up there", meaning no one was "up there" beyond the "up there" of his "up there", so he was just talking to a ceiling! Shit!
"I have been warning you about this for a long time, Inuyasha. You should have listened to me," She said calmly, paying no mind to the irking hanyou who continued to walk back in forth across the small room. 'Doing that makes this place seem even smaller than it actually is' She thought with a sigh, "Idiot,"
"Kikyou, you aren't helping much!" Inuyasha whined helplessly, looking at the too-relaxed-to-be-normal woman, her lax expression obviously reading 'I don't care about this poor man's situation at all, hahaha!'. But, no, she always looked like that. Maybe, she really was worried about him and was just masking her emotions like she always did...right?
Sure, he would simply go with that.
"I can't do anything once Father decides something. If you are going to get kicked out, you're going to get kicked out," Suddenly, she shot up from the bed and glowered darkly in his direction. "Stop complaining like an idiot and accept the consequences that face your foolish actions!" She yelled.
Inuyasha's eyes widened as she then switched back to her former layed back mode. Never in his life (living-life and after-life) had he ever seen Kikyou that angry. Well, not to the point where imaginary steam shot out of her neck.
"I know...I put this on myself," He admitted, leaning against the wall set beside the average sized bed with a long sigh. "But, if I do leave- which, I obviously will- I promise I'll come back to you," He added, knowing it was probably a little white lie. Eh, but he wanted to say it anyway so he could sound a bit on the cool side.
"Whatever, Inuyasha," Kikyou whispered with a small smile. "just don't die trying,"
"But," Inuyasha shouted, ripping the nice and bonding moment in half and tossing it away, causing Kikyou to frown. "before I go..."
"Inuyasha! What in Heaven's name do you think you are doing?" The man, clad in your average police officer uniform, yelled angrily. He frowned deeply as he caught sight of the crazed hanyou happily spray painting his face onto their Father's office building. "Y-you can't do that, you idiot!"
"Stuff it, Hiten," Inuyasha huffed, not bothering to stop his awesome, albeit illegal, doodling for a blue hat. "Obviously, Father expected these type of things to happen, since he does hire police officers. Ever find that weird?"
Hiten shook his head and scowled at the delinquent child. "You are so despicable. You cannot draw a star eyed version of yourself kicking Father in the face while he holds up a peace sign! That is outright ridiculous!" Though, he had to admit, the graffitied picture did look pretty cool.
"Excuse me, sir. I am an artist, and your negative comments are cramping my style," Inuyasha muttered, before snapping a picture of his award winning portrait with his Heaven brand cellular device. "I should have done this for a living when I was alive. Too bad high school had to pop up and slow me down,"
"Why the heck are you even here, Inuyasha? Aren't you supposed to be, I don't know, not here? As in Heaven?"
"It hasn't been decided yet, my sweet." Inuyasha chuckled. "Father hasn't officially told me that I'm not a Heavenite anymore, though I know it's going to happen anyways. So, as a nice going away present, I am giving Father a generous little picture of the happy truth," He proudly said as he pointed to the green subtitles he had written directly beneath his large picture.
Inu Owns Mr. Cloud Man
Hiten blanched. "Y-you stupid, crap for brains, dumb bell!"
"Shh!" Inuyasha breathed loudly between clenched teeth. "'Crap' is an undercover curse word, Hiten! You can't say that in Heaven!"
"Inuyasha, I swear..." Hiten warned, stomping closer to the smirking teenager who really needed to learn his place. Inuyasha could only chuckle as Hiten tugged up his uniform sleeve to his elbows, as if he were some bad boy cop gone gangster.
Haha, what a joke.
"Oh, you want to fight, Hiten?" The hanyou mocked as the doughnut lover (gotta love stereotypes) quickly closed the large gap between them. "I'd absolutely love to give Father yet another gift, you know. Where you show up to his door with five broken arms and three twisted legs,"
"That makes no sense!"
"Oh, are you sure about that?"
"Inuyasha, Hiten! Stop fighting right now!" A voice called from inside the tall building. Looking up, Inuyasha and Hiten could make out the faint silouhette of a woman leaning out of the top floor's window, creepily looking down on them. Inuyasha groaned in annoyance. Only one woman he knew would be stupid enough to do something like lean over a skyscarper's window.
"Ayame, get your fucking head back inside of that building before you fall out of it!" Inuyasha roared, watching as the daring red-head simply shrugged and leaned even more over the ledge. "You dumb...!"
"Stop cursing in Heaven, Inuyasha!" The fourteen year old scolded, pointing an accusing finger down at him as she leaned over the windowsill even more, to the point where her feet where probably half way off of the ground. "Anyway, this babe's got a message for you!" She sang brightly.
"Can't you just message it to me? Why do you have to do it like some kind of maniac? G-get back to work!"
"Kakazu, listen to the idiot dog over here. You are one of Father's top assistants. I doubt he would want you to give people messages like this," Hiten said, throwing his two cents in to further convince the suicudal wolf youkai that working was better than trying to kill yourself.
Or was it...?
"Whatever!" And with that, she jumped. And after she jumped, she fell, letting gravity become her very best friend as she plummeted her way straight to the concrete ground. "Here I come, guys!"
"I swear, this girl," Inuyasha grumbled under his breath before catching the giggling girl in his arms. That is until he dropped her onto the ground, rather unceremoniously, causing her to let out a soft 'oof'. "You weigh a ton,"
"I know," Came the girl's instant reply as she shook it off with a shrug. She stood on her heeled feet before dusting off her pencil skirt a bit. "Father said he's going to message you something important in a few minutes. Be sure to read it," Her announcement was awarded with a two blank stares.
"So, you jumped from a fifty story building to tell me about a message that I would recieve regardless of you showing up here to tell me or not?" Inuyasha asked, sending the giddy girl a confused look. She only nodded.
"I am his assisstant, afterall! He told me to tell you about him telling you whatever as soon as possible!"
"Looks like someone's going to finally get kicked out," Hiten snickered annoyingly, sending a glance over to Inuyasha before looking away with a smile. "haha," He added, but his joy was soon put to rest when Ayame and Inuyasha then smacked him upside the head.
"Jerk off," Inuyasha muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"A-Ayame! Why did you hit me?" Hiten asked pathetically, wincing as he rubbed the sore spots developing on his head gently.
Ayame shrugged carelessly. "Because Inuyasha did," She answered simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "duh,"
Inuyasha chuckled awkwardly. "You confuse me, Ayame...in a weird yet somehow amusing way,"
"That's my job!"
"Oh, sorry. That's my cell," Inuyasha stated, a bit embarrassed to be the one to ruin the little happy moment, before pulling his phone back out his rear pocket. "Eh, it's from the old man,"
Since you came here nine hundred years ago, you have caused me nothing but trouble. From the water balloon fights that only you participated in, to the cutting of the electricity wires whenever it was National Video Game Day, you have only done things that hurt my business. There's no wonder why people on Earth are ceasing to belive in this place. My four visionaries can only witness the absolute mess of Heaven whenever I send them a glimpse of the place. You are really making things 'suck' for me, as you would say.
Now, since I am who I am, I cannot truly be upset with you. You are my son, afterall. So, I am not going to send you to Hell. No, I will be sending you to a place much better (sort of) than that. This place is called Limbo. Ooo, mysterious.
Since I know you are such a...pro Not-Heaven kind of person (which is a bit depressing) I am going to let you go to Limbo so you can go then get transported to your "dream place", also known as Hell. Now, if I could, I would make all of this less difficult and send you straight to Hell. But, I can't do that, so Limbo it is for you, sonny.
=P Ew, boooo...
However, when you get there, you'll have to compete in something us cool people call The Limbo Games. All you need to do is fight a bunch of people, for no known reason, and make it to the end of the Games in one peace. Only then will you be able to ask the Master of Limbo if you can go to Hell or not. Don't ask me any questions, for I did not make up any of these rules.
Now, if you are the lazy type (listen closely on this part, boy) and do not even try to win, then you will be imprisoned in Limbo for all eternity (or until the next Games, at least) with no one there but the other sore losers. Meaning, you'll have no food, water, or any kind of entertainment. You would probably go insane and want to kill yourself, but you can't because your'e already dead. This actually would be pretty darn funny to people who aren't you. We'd openly mock your poor state and have one heck of a time slapping our knees and cackling away to your evident pain.
Do you see how nice of a man I am? :/
Now, after you read this message, Earth's technologies never cease to amaze me, you will start the Games. It shall last about a month or so. Maybe more, depending on how the Master of Limbo is feeling. So, you better get ready because it's probably starting right now as we speak.
My escorts will arrive for you in about 3, 2, 1...
Bye, bye! \(^_^)/
Watching in a surprised daze as the ground beneath him ripped apart, Inuyasha could only stare with wide eyes at the darkness that was slowly pushing forward from the cracked floor.
"I-Inuyasha!" He heard Ayame yell, but it was faint, as if she were hundreds of miles away from him even though, only a few seconds ago, she was standing right beside him. His whole body felt numb, and he couldn't even fight off the dark hands that grabbed at his arms and legs as they slowly pulled him down into the black abyss. He couldn't even yell for help.
As all of this happened, only one thought seemed to pop out in Inuyasha's mind: 'Wow, God sends long IMs...'
And then, he was gone.
To Be Continued...
Tygr x Addi