Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Final Fantasy Franchises. All Rights goes to Square Enix.
BACKGROUND: This ingenious story was written by Micky r3mix and Aergiia, Greatest collaboration ever.
"Girls! I don't know what I should get for Zackie on Valentine's day," said Aerith. She sighed and leaned on the countertop of 7th Heaven. Tifa scoffed inaudibly as she wiped a glass cup clean. Hearing the subject of the conversation, Yuffie bounced up in her seat and chirped.
"Give him what he always wanted! Your virginity!" joked Yuffie, and then she sighed dramatically, overexaggerating her swoon. "It's every man's lifelong goal."
"Yuffie, please I have more class than that. I believe that sex is something saved for marriage," Aerith explained innocently. Again Tifa scoffed and Yuffie rolled her eyes.
"Marriage? Please, who thinks about marriage before they are 30?" asked Tifa curiously. She filled up their glasses with wine and sat down next to them, never mind that Yuffie was underage- not like anybody cared, however.
"Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with Tifa on this one. Besides we are still young, fresh, and H-O-T!" hollered the thief, joyful over her first cup of alcohol. Aerith swatted her hand away from the immoral drink, earning her the fakest pout anyone had seen from Yuffie.
The flower keeper huffed indignantly. "I think Zack is respectful enough to my decisions and wishes."
"Then why was he flirting with Cissnei the other day?" whined Yuffie, clearly already drunk from her illegally obtained wine. Tifa smiled knowingly.
"That pig!" Aerith gasped. "I mean, w-why would he do that?"
"Because he hasn't been getting laid for I don't know how long?" pointed out Yuffie.
"Since dating Aerith?" chuckled Tifa, at this point she has set down her glass and giggled uncontrollably.
"Zack wouldn't be unfaithful..." Aerith defended herself.
"Girl, please. That man is horny as a dog in heat! Have you seen the way he talks to other girls? You would think he's 'been around,' if you know what I mean," Yuffie smirked and burst out laughing once again with Tifa.
"What are you laughing at, you've been desperately in love with Cloud since you were in diapers and yet, nothing. Sorry, but you are worst than that bitch over there," Yuffie pointed at Aerith, who frowned in disdain at the remark.
"Well, how about you Yuffie? Vampire obsession much? You been stalking Vincent and stealing his stuff. Stiffing it too! How creepy is that?"
"Vampires are hot okay? Have you not read Twilight? And hey! How do you know I sniff his stuff?"
"That's a secret," Tifa whispered as she nonchalantly sipped her wine.
"Hey, you still haven't return my Twilight series," the flower keeper realized belatedly.
"Hun, you aren't going to get them back," snickered the brunette fighter.
However, it was at this precise moment that Yuffie, in her drunken stupor, hatched her brilliant idea.
"Ladies, I think we should make more interesting. How about a bet?"
"A bet?" Both of the sober women looked at each other.
"Whoever gets into their man's pants first wins!" Yuffie shouted loud enough for the entire bar to hear.
"Yuffie, I told you that I don't believe in sex before marriage!"
"Aerith, obviously you aren't going to get married." Aerith blinked, obviously feeling the unintentional (or was it?) jab from the thief.
"What was that?" she whispered coldly. Yuffie heroically pointed to the ceiling and stood on her stool.
"Everybody knows that the key to a man's heart is how well you are in bed!" She almost lost her footing as she said it, but luckily managed to regain her balance with a well-aimed smack from Tifa. Aerith remained silent through the whole fiasco as Tifa watched, clearly amused.
"You're stalling too much, boring the crap out of Zack," she continued, making incoherent hand gestures as though it would help with her explanation. "He's going to run over to Cissnei and BAM!"
she clapped loudly, her face set into a mockingly grim expression, "You guys are over."
Aerith sat still as she slowly processed everything that her little friend had said. If it was just any other man, she could easily say that Yuffie was young and naive and knew nothing about true love... but the flower keeper thought to all the times Zack would occasionally sigh on their dates and try (and failing miserably) to hit on the waitresses. But unbeknownest to Aerith, Zack was merely troubled that he received the wrong order and failed to gain their attention.
"Fine," she said. Her mind was resolved. "I accept your friendly bet." Yuffie and Aerith turned to the last of the trio, who has remained mostly silent the entire time. The barkeeper crossed her arms in defense.
"I'm not doing it," Tifa said. "This is stupid."
"Tifa, if Zack doesn't get laid with Aerith and they break up, there is a chance that she is going to hit on Cloud." Suddenly the fire was lit in her eyes as she spun to face Aerith.
"Oh hell no bitch. Back off."
"Please, you two aren't even dating."
"You don't know that," she huffed. "Fine, I too will accept this bet." Unfortunately, Yuffie had something more in store for them.
"Let's make it even more interesting. The losers have to do something embarrassing."
"In Tifa's case, you have to dress up in your slutty cow girl outfit and you HAVE to grind on Cloud." Yuffie grinned.
"That's embarrassing!" Tifa laughed nervously. Did she really have to grind on the boy she had always admired?
"As for Aerith... You have to pee on your flowers!"
"I AM NOT GOING TO PEE ON MY FLOWERS!" shouted the flower vendor, displeasure in her eyes.
"Nope, its only fair." The ninja smiled.
"How about you Yuffie?" Aerith asked.
"I don't know, make a challenge for me!"
"I got it!" exclaimed Tifa, with so much delight on her face. "Yuffie, you have to give away free materias."
"Oh, fuck no!" Yuffie backed up against the wall.
"Too bad, its only fair," mimicked Aerith, and thus their war began.
A/N: This story was written a month ago, during our winter break. (THE ENTIRE STORY IS FINISHED, but I will update gradually.)
We hope you enjoy, review, and favorite it! I Love reading and writing stories about random bets and maybe you guys too!