Hello and welcome to my first Glee fic!
Two months ago I stumbled across a Faberry fic that sounded interesting so I read it. Before this I had been kinda meh about the show, but I found myself going from one fic to another throughout my winter break and ended up turning into a total Faberry fangirl. I actually spent so much time reading that I completely stopped writing (if anyone that reads my Naomily fics is looking at this—I do apologize and will get back to them).
This first chapter is a bit short, but the rest will be quite a bit longer.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Glee characters or any of the songs that might pop up.
Chapter 1 – Time Warp
Rachel groaned into her pillow as her alarm obnoxiously buzzed beside her head. She reached out and slammed her hand onto the snooze button, effectively stopping the noise. After a few moments, Rachel opened her eyes and blinked a few times as she stared at the clock.
Six a.m.? She didn't even remember setting her alarm and she definitely didn't remember setting it for so early. She hadn't been up this early since she was in school. Instead of dwelling on it, she closed her eyes again and hoped sleep would come, but she eventually resigned herself to the fact that she wouldn't be falling back asleep anytime soon.
Plus she really had to pee.
After stubbing her toe on a piece of furniture that she didn't even know was there and running face first into a wall, she finally felt her way to the bathroom door and flicked on the light, flinching when the brightness hit her eyes. As soon as her eyes adjusted, she stopped in her tracks and stared wide-eyed into the mirror.
What? How? What?
She frantically looked into the mirror and then whipped her head around, looking around the bathroom, before turning back to stare at her reflection.
A dream; this has to be a dream.
She pinched her arm and felt pain, but nothing else. After a few seconds, Rachel screamed at the top of her lungs. The sound of her scream was still echoing around the bathroom when she heard heavy steps coming up the stairs followed by an urgent knock on the door.
"Rach, honey, are you okay?"
When she didn't answer, her bedroom door was opened, the light was turned on, and her father appeared in the bathroom doorway looking expectantly at her.
Rachel's breath hitched.
"Daddy," she whispered, looking up into the mirror and seeing his reflection.
"You screamed," he stated as he stared at her with a frown on his face.
"There was a spider," Rachel lied, snapping out of her daze and throwing her arms around him.
He laughed deeply. "Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."
Rachel nodded as she backed away from him. "Yes."
He glanced at the clock. "A bit behind on your routine, aren't you?"
"Ye...yeah," Rachel stammered out.
"Well, you don't want to be late for the first day of your senior year!" he said brightly.
"Senior year," Rachel whispered to herself, her eyes wide.
Oh. My. God.
"Are you sure you're okay?" He put his hand to her forehead and looked at her in concern.
"I'm fine, Daddy," she answered, batting his hand away. "I should really get ready, though. Wouldn't want to be late, would I?"
She was trying to act as normal as possible, but she felt like her heart was about to pound out of her chest and she was having trouble breathing properly. It simultaneously felt like something was squeezing her chest and like something was trying to escape from it. It was not a pleasant feeling.
Her daddy nodded at her, but Rachel could tell he didn't really believe her when she said she was fine. "I'll leave you to it."
He walked to the door and with one last glance, closed it, leaving Rachel alone in the room.
She looked around at the light yellow walls and white furniture—the room she hadn't be in for years.
"How did this happen?"
Five Hours Earlier
"Rach, sweetie, are you going to be okay?"
"I'm fine, Kurt," she replied, receiving a skeptical eyebrow raise. "Really."
He looked at her for a moment. "No you're not."
Rachel sighed. "No—I'm really not."
Kurt wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders and she leaned into his chest, taking a deep breath. They stayed like that for a few minutes before she finally pulled away, wiping a few stray tears from her cheeks.
"How did I end up like this?" she asked, shaking her head.
"It isn't that bad," Kurt replied.
"I'm almost thirty!" Rachel threw her hands in the air and started pacing. "Thirty, Kurt, and I have nothing!"
"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic? You're a star, Rachel," Kurt reasoned. "You've wanted to be on Broadway for as long as I've known you. All your dreams came true—maybe you should just enjoy it."
"So why do I feel so empty?" Rachel whispered as she looked over the side of the balcony at the New York skyline. "I know I have everything I thought I wanted, but why do I still feel this way? I'm almost thirty and I feel completely alone."
"This is just an early midlife crisis." Kurt frowned. "And you're not completely alone; you have friends that love you."
"I know," Rachel said, frowning as well, "and I love you guys too—and I know I'm sounding like a spoiled, selfish brat—but it isn't enough sometimes."
"Just promise me you're not going to get back with my dear stepbrother," Kurt replied, suddenly looking extremely worried at the prospect.
Rachel laughed loudly for a moment. "Heavens no; I divorced him for a reason."
"Good," Kurt said, putting his hand over his heart. "You scared me for a moment. Is that what this is all about though? You miss Finn or something?"
Rachel shook her head. "No, I am well over Finn."
"Talk to me, sweetie." Kurt patted the spot beside of him and Rachel sat down with a sigh. "When did all of this start?"
"I don't know," Rachel answered with a shrug. "I know I have no right to complain, but I just feel like something is missing from my life and I don't even know what it is. I've always had this void and I thought it would go away if I got everything I had always dreamed of, but it didn't help. I thought it would go away when I got into NYADA or when I married Finn or the first time I stepped on a Broadway stage, but it didn't and I just don't know what to do about it."
"I always thought you were happy," Kurt confessed.
"Well I can be a wonderful actress," Rachel replied with a small smile as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "By all accounts, I should be happy—any other girl would be. Why can't I be happy?"
"No." Rachel shook her head. "Don't say anything; I know I'm being irrational. I'm just tired and simply being my overdramatic self."
"And here I thought you were starting to mellow out in your old age." Kurt nudged her shoulder and smiled, causing Rachel to let out a small laugh.
Rachel wrapped both of her arms around Kurt's left arm and laid her head on his shoulder. "What would I ever do without you?"
Kurt put his chin on top of Rachel's head and let out a contented sigh. "Let's hope you never have to find out."
"I should get some sleep," Rachel said, raising her head and giving his arm a quick squeeze.
He stood up and pulled the brunette with him. "Do you want me to stay over?"
"No," she replied, shaking her head. "Blaine is probably already wondering where you are."
"If you're sure," Kurt said as he followed Rachel into her apartment from the balcony.
Rachel walked across the living room and into her bedroom where she stopped and turned her head to the side. "Unzip me?"
Kurt did as he was asked and Rachel slid off her dress before quickly pulling on a pair of black shorts and one of her old, worn-out McKinley High t-shirts.
Rachel sat down on the edge of her bed and Kurt watched her in concern. "Are you going to be okay?"
"Of course," Rachel replied quickly, hoping to believe it herself.
Instead of heading for the door, Kurt walked around to the other side of the bed and pulled his boots off before settling down onto the mattress. "I'm staying."
"No," he cut his friend off. "You're my best friend and Blaine will understand."
Rachel looked over at him. "You can't be very comfortable in that."
She waved a hand indicating his outfit, but Kurt just shrugged and stated, "I'll be fine; it's just one night."
Rachel turned off her bedside light and slipped under the covers before snuggling into her pillow.
"Thank you," Rachel whispered into the dark room.
Kurt was smiling although Rachel couldn't see it. "That's what best gays are for."
Rachel smiled even as a tear slipped down her cheek; she was thankful to have Kurt in her life. They hadn't always been friends, but they had grown closer over their senior year and, for the first time in her life, Rachel had found herself with a best friend. He was always willing to listen and didn't just tell her what she wanted to hear, which was something she was in great need of most of the time.
"Rach?" Kurt whispered
"Yes, Kurt?" asked Rachel.
"Have you always been unhappy?" Kurt wondered.
Rachel thought about the question for a moment before speaking. "I wouldn't necessarily say unhappy; I have been quite happy over the years—just with something missing. It's kind of hard to explain; I know I'm usually a lot more eloquent than this, but I really can't seem to put my feelings into words."
She felt Kurt shift so he was facing her. "Try—since I'm really having trouble understanding, sweetie."
"I have a hard time understanding myself sometimes," Rachel admitted. "The best I can describe it is that it feels like a part of me is missing."
Kurt nodded. "Are you just lonely?"
"I am, but it's more than that." Rachel shook her head, sighing. "It's always been more than that."
"So you are lonely, but this goes beyond just being lonely," Kurt clarified.
"Correct," whispered Rachel.
"And this was going on the entire time you were with Finn?" Kurt questioned.
Rachel nodded. "Yes."
Rachel bit her lip, thinking. She knew she was being foolish, but she really couldn't help her feelings. She figured Kurt was two seconds away from grabbing her shoulders and trying to shake some sense into her. She had everything she'd dreamed about, but here she was, whining about missing something. She had her dream job, an amazing apartment in the city she loved, and even more amazing friends. She really wanted to slap herself so she could only imagine how Kurt was feeling toward her.
"Well, I'm stumped," Kurt finally stated, pulling Rachel out of her thoughts.
"You're not mad at me?" Rachel wondered.
"Mad?" Kurt asked. "Why would I be mad?"
"Because I'm being pathetic and whiney and overdramatic as usual," Rachel stated, rolling her eyes at herself.
Rachel felt him shrug beside her. "Sounds like another day in the life of Rachel Berry to me."
Rachel tried to hold back a laugh as she lunged over and started ruffling the boy's perfectly quaffed hair, which cause Kurt to scream like a girl.
"Stop!" he yelled out, trying to still her hands.
"No," the brunette calmly replied, not giving her assault up. "You insulted me."
"I'm sorry!" Kurt said, shielding himself and nearly falling off the bed.
Rachel abruptly stopped and Kurt huffed, flopping onto his back and trying to fix his hair. She just laughed at him, though, and laid her head down on his chest.
"Thank you," Rachel whispered once again.
"For insulting you?" Kurt joked, smiling.
Rachel gently smacked his chest. "You know what for. You're always here to listen to my incoherent, irrational ramblings and I appreciate it. I know I don't thank you enough."
"You don't need to," Kurt replied. "You've always been there for me too."
Rachel smiled. "But I want to."
Kurt was silent for a few minutes before finally saying, "Make a wish."
It was something they always did when one of them was having a bad day. They started the tradition in the first year at NYADA after Kurt had a particularly rough day in class, and for some reason, it always made them feel better.
"I wish—"Rachel sighed. "I wish I could find whatever I'm missing in my life."
"Lame," Kurt teased.
"Lame?" Rachel scoffed. "I believe your last wish was for your hair to magically fall into place in the morning just because you were having a bad hair day at the time."
Kurt cocked his head "Touché."
Rachel laughed lightly. "Goodnight, Kurt."
"Sweet dreams, Rach," Kurt replied back.
Please let me know if you liked it (or didn't). I'm a bit of a comment whore and will be more likely to update quicker if I know people are waiting for it.