Sooo... a friend requested me to write this a few days ago and I couldn't be bothered doing anything with it but then when i asked for songs for inspiration, I have suddenly realized that I can link them all together and make a continuous story, ish thing, so here we go. basically, as I'm too lazy to read through the first thing again and work out what to change to tie it into this and stuff, just basically ignore it if you can't find a way to tie it in here... whatever, okay? I've just gotten my hearing back for the first time in like a month or two so... be happy :D :P
Anyway! This chapter's song theme is Monster by Sick Puppies, next chapters is, at this point in time Forgive Me by Evanescence, then depending on if I can tie it in there, it'll be Poison & Wine by The Civil Wars followed by Pain by Three Days Grace. That's the plan so far, dudes, anyway! Enjoy the read, I hope. :P
OH! And I have to change the rating and add a warning: So.. mentions/hints/implications/other stuff towards suicide and depression. Also, if you so wish you can see Charles and Erik as being Charles/Erik, on that note, if you soo wish, you can request that *I* make them Charles/Erik, but I ddon't really care at the moment to be honest, this fic is just gonna turn out how it's going to turn out. Ain't nothing we can do about it really.
Also! Italics without speechmarky things is the song, italics with the marky things is Charles communicating with Erik or it's Erik's thoughts, you should be able to distinguish the two. And normal writing is everything else. :) My explanations are so helpful, aren't they?
I know the reason you're running scared. I met the monster inside your head. You'll never know the feeling of being alive. It's not enough, it never stops coming, so take a breath, say goodbye.
'She didn't do this, Erik, you did.'
'Erik, you did…'
'I'm so sorry, Charles.'
'You did, you did, you did, you did, she didn't, you did!'
He gasps and shakes his head, eyes snapping back into focus. He'd been running himself into the ground trying to forget what he had done, trying to forgive himself, trying to move on, but the more he tried the worse it got until it go to this.
Not for the first time he eyes the gun in his hand, and expression of deepest pain across his face. His thoughts swirl and scream within his head. He swallows heavily before removing the helmet.
'D-Don't do it, Erik.' He sighs.
"Dearest Charles, I did not take you for the type to stalk, but then again, I suppose I really should have, should I?' he says, levitating the gun into the air and spinning it around absently. "Now's the part where you try to convince me to stay." He says slowly, lying back on his bed, the gun hovering over him, aimed down at his head.
'You know as well as I, Erik, that no matter what I say, you're going to ignore it. I'm not going to waste our time with that, but maybe you should see something's before you pull that trigger, Erik.' Charles replies, he's tucked up in his own bed, where he feels most comfortable.
"Oh and what would these things be?" Erik scoffs, the gun wavers.
'This.' Charles says before Erik is engulfed in memories that are not his own. He sees a twelve year old boy, seizing on the floor in his room, his sister is screaming, her hair is slowly turning red and her eyes yellow. The image changes and Erik sees the same boy lying in a hospital bed, he has only one visitor, his sister, her hair is blonde and her eyes are brown, the boy is half awake. The image changes again, this time the boy is 17 and he's screaming, his sister is the only one who kneels beside him, telling him everything will be okay. Erik feels his chest tighten as he understands that these are Charles memories, altered by the memories of those around him who helped him piece together what had happened to him.
Suddenly Erik finds himself struggling to breathe and a new image enters his mind, it's of Charles, a month before Erik first met him. He's sitting in his room, alone, looking out his window; a gun is in his hand. Mystique is out, doing God knows what and Charles is alone. Erik can't breathe, he feels like the world is closing in on him. Sooo many voices in his head, so many people screaming, so many voices, so many problems, so many people. He can't… he sees Charles lift the gun, finger over the trigger.
He screams, he can't help it, he can't breathe, can't think, can't… Suddenly the image is gone and he can see his bedroom again. The gun falls, hard and fast, hitting him on the head as he sinks into his pillows.
'I'm sorry, Erik, I thought you'd want to know that you are not alone…' Erik hears Charles's voice and it's the last thing he hears before he passes out, exhausted and concussed.
R&R! :D And the next chapter is actually, sorta done. :P Sorta... ish.. maybe... I dunno yet.