Hi guys! Okay, this is my first try...My first one shot in English, because I'm French, and I already wrote tons of Esplanie stories in French, but I wanted to try something in English, so more Esplanie fans could read it.
Clearly because there is not enough Esplanie stories on the net, and because I'm madly in love with them. They really became my favourite thing about Castle...and I really miss them this season! I just love Tamala and Jon together, too.
So. This is my personal version of what their "mega fight" according to Espo, could have been. I hope you'll enjoy it! Please review if you did :)
Big thanks to my dear friend Jabamiah for helping me with my awkward English. T'es une véritable professionnelle!
MEGA FIGHT (Missing moment of 4x06 'Demons')
The double date with Jenny and Ryan ended up in a very awkward way. Since the future Mrs Ryan asked them when they were going to get married, Lanie and Javier both became tense and couldn't really act normal after that. During the rest of the dinner, they barely spoke to each other.
The way home was quite silent, too. Javier drove, without even looking at her from time to time. He was so focused on the road, and he didn't even turn the radio on.
Sat on the passenger's seat, Lanie couldn't look at him either. She was afraid of his silence. When Javier Esposito remained silent while driving, something was always wrong.
A few minutes later, he opened the front door of her apartment. Lanie watched him walk to the living room. He was still silent, and that was clearly not like him. After a date in a restaurant or anywhere, he would usually be playful with her, wouldn't stop flirting with her, kissing and touching her. Now he was just cold and distant. He didn't even talk to her in the elevator..and she didn't either.
Lanie closed the front door, still looking at him. He was now standing in front of the living room window, staring at whatever he could see in the street, absent minded.
"…you okay?" Lanie finally asked, with a small, scared voice. Javier gave her an unfriendly look. He'd never looked at her like that before.
« Why wouldn't I ? » he quickly barked.
Lanie ran a hand through her long, dark hair, looking at the floor. It was hard for her to let her eyes in his. She just hated the way he was looking at her right now… And his voice was so chilly.
"I don't know…I just…can feel you're not okay." She muttered, eyeing him.
« what would make you think that? » Javier asked, crossing his arms.
He was pissed off, she couldn't ignore it.
« Javi… » she sighed.
« You think I didn't see the way you just freaked out when that dummy blond pronounced the m word" he barked, not letting her finish. Lanie's eyes widened.
« Dummy blond ? » she repeated, shocked but a bit amused, too. He wasn't the kind of guy who loved insulting his friends, especially Kevin's fiancée.
"Why did you freak out like that?"Javier tried to understand. Her reaction hurted him, much more than he would ever admit.
"I…I don't know." She confessed with a tiny and timid voice.
Lanie Parish was usually so confident and talkative… it was so unlike her. But she was upset.
« She just… surprised me." She admitted, shyly. We never talked about getting married, Javier. » She added, looking at him in the eyes.
"Well…I wouldn't mind if we did."
That was it. He finally said it. Lanie's eyes widened again.
« Excuse me ? »
Javier didn't understand her look and her question.
« Oh you heard me, Lane." He grumbled, annoyed by the way she looked so surprised about it.
"When you're in a committed relationship, this is a question you shouldn't be afraid of." He even added. His tone was still cold, almost mean.
"will you stop using that tone with me?"
She started getting angry herself.
" And will you stop ignoring the problem here?"
Lanie really hated his tone. She almost was scared.
" The truth is that you would never accept to marry me. And let me say this is insulting."
Insulting. Lanie looked at him again. She just couldn't believe he was doing this. That he was reacting like that. Like it was all about him, and about him only.
« Oh God. » she start laughing, bitterly. « So it's all about you, right? Just because we've been dating for what, more than a year now, you actually think I SHOULD be ready to marry you?"
He sighed and shook his head.
"First, we're together for almost two years."he corrected. Yes, he wanted to correct that. Because for him, all these months with her had been the best time of his life.
"And second, I didn't mean to say it like that, but..."
"It didn't cross your mind that maybe, I don't want to get married at all?"Lanie reacted, not letting him finish.
Javier opened his mouth, but couldn't talk for a few seconds.
"So that's it, huh? Don't wanna get married, doc?" he guessed.
Lanie couldn't answer, at first. He was now looking at her so deeply and sadly…A part of him almost made her answer "yes". But the truth is, she wasn't ready.
« I don't think marriage is an essential step for a couple. We can be happy without it." She admitted.
His first reaction was to laugh. He couldn't believe SHE, Lanie Parish, was speaking like that.
"What's so incredible about it?" she frowned.
"I don't know, just…girls don't usually talk like that", Javier shrugged.
"A lot of people don't believe in marriage, Javi. Doesn't mean I don't want to be in a serious relationship…because you know I want." She admitted with a small voice. But he didn't even care about what she was saying anymore. For him she doesn't want to marry him, and that was all that mattered to him.
"Or maybe, you're just against the idea of getting married with the wrong person. I guess for you, all this time we spent together…it was just for fun."
Lanie was hurt. How could he just think that about her, about their moments….about their relationship.
"I never said that."she shook her head.
"But that's what you're thinking."
"Hell no! » she yelled.
" You know our relationship means a lot to me. And you're a great guy, but…"
"But you don't want to marry me. Got it."he mumbled.
"What the hell, Javi! Were you going to ask me to marry you tonight?" she shouted, frowning.
This time, she didn't let him finish. "So why is it so important to you?"
« I just wish I knew it before we started something together." He finally answered…but he already regretted it.
She was so afraid of the answer.
"Because, I want to get married."
Lanie tried to ignore how much his answer hurted her…But she couldn't.
She almost lost her voice.
"… So I guess if you had knew I didn't want to get married since the beginning, you wouldn't have dated me at first? That's what you're saying? " she tried to understand, crossing her arms again.
Not even looking at her, Javier hesitated a lot before answering. Actually, he didn't even answer, and for Lanie, that was a "yes". She had a cold laugh, again.
"I see. »
« No, you don't. I'm just disappointed to realize that you won't even wanna get married because since we 're together, I could picture spending the rest of my life with the same person. And that was the first time. »
Lanie looked at him, tenderly this time. He was now so adorable with his small voice and his puppy dog eyes that, a part of her wanted to kiss him with all she had, for what he just said.
She stepped closer.
« Nevermind. » he stopped her, stroking his tired face.
« Listen to me, » she insisted. « Just because I'm against marriage doesn't mean we can't spend our lives together. »
"I don't believe that."he retorted, so honest, breaking her heart even more.
" I truly believe in marriage, and I know for sure that I want to get married in the future." He added, deeply looking at her.
God he was so stubborn, sometimes. And now she wanted to cry. So badly.
Lanie crossed her arms on her chest, biting her lips. For the first time since they were together, she really wanted to cry because of him.
"I'm sorry, baby…I didn't want to disappoint you." She mumbled "But I want to be honest with you. I don't want to get married, and I think I never will."
He stared at her, without even blinking for a few minutes. Now they both were awkwardly silent.
« Looks like we're not mean to be, then.» he finally reacted.
Lanie couldn't help but smile, sadly.
"…I guess we're not."
Javier deeply eyed her. Even when she was all pissed off and didn't agree with him, he still got her under his skin and he really hated himself for loving her that much. She was all he ever wanted…but things became so complicated, that night.
Finally, he talked. A part of him didn't want him to say that but he did.
« You know what, Lanie ? I never really thought that we would be so…good together, when we started our thing. That our relationship would mean so much to me, today…"
He was killing her.
"But I think we're kinda stuck, here. We don't have the same vision of the future, so as much as I'm going to regret that…I think we should…cool things off".
Cool things off. Lanie perfectly knew what that meant. He wanted to split up. To leave her.
She took a deep breath, before nodding. She was all in pieces inside, but she hid it very well.
"I guess we should." she swallowed.
" Looks like you care way more about getting married than you care about me, so indeed Javier, we should break up."
"I didn't say that."
He tried to react, but she wouldn't let him.
"Yes, you did!" she shouted with so much anger and frustration.
"Would you listen to yourself? You can't stop talking about getting married without really caring about how I feel about it ! All you want is getting married, I got it." She finished, gutted.
"So I don't care, now?" he laughed with anger, too.
" Damn it, Lanie! What about us? The truth is you'd rather die than imagine a future for us!" he yelled at her. She had never seen so much anger in his beautiful brown eyes before. Lanie opened her mouth, stunned.
"…How can you say that?" she stammered.
"Let me tell you one thing. If you don't want to commit in a serious relationship, well, just don't." he added, ignoring her broken voice, and her miserable gaze.
Lanie searched for her words a tiny moment, before realizing she didn't even wanna argue more with him. She was so tired and upset. He deeply hurted her when she understood he cared way more about traditions than he cared about her. And the worst part of it was that he clearly accused her of being careless about their couple. That was too much.
"All right, then." She finally whispered.
" I think we're done, here. » she added, without even looking at him. She couldn't. Instead she deeply eyed the floor, waiting for his reaction.
"Looks like it." He just replied, coldly. Then he started walking towards her.
" Gotta go. » Javier said, when he finally was in front of her. They deeply stared at each other for a moment. Lanie's eyes were full of tears, and he hated himself for hurting her like that. She also hated herself for not apologizing and asking him to stay instead. She just couldn't speak...But she didn't want him to go.
Lanie was about to speak, but Javier was quicker. He finally decided to break the awkward silence, and, giving her her house key back, he added :
"Guess i won't need it anymore."
His tone was cold, and hurt, she could feel it. But she didn't talk, and simply tightened her key in her fist, while he kept walking towards her front door.
Lanie could hear him leave, and a few seconds later, he roughly slammed the door, making her shiver.
Her lips started to shake, and before realizing it, tears were running down all over her cheeks.
Thank you SO much to the readers...I hope my English wasn't too bad as well. I love speaking English but when it comes to writing and writing stories, it's really difficult. I really enjoyed translating this, anyway, so I guess I will translate another one soon :) let's spread the Esplanie love !