Nothing Is Sacred
By: The Hatter Theory
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha
A/N: Don't read this if you don't like the wangst. It's ultra wangst. Black hole inducing wangst.
You can't know that in just a few minutes everything will change.
You don't understand yet, and perhaps you never will. But you will know. Perhaps not today, not tomorrow or even a few years from now. Not yet, not for quite some time.
I see you, your years of misery given an end. You will come back and you will love and be at peace.
Until you aren't.
My last gift to you. Immortality is such a lonely thing, and you are a creature of overreaching needs and petty wants. I do this because I love you. My last gift. I do this because I hate you. Because, no matter if I am here or not, our lives have been linked, and I would have it no other way.
You do not realize, not yet, even as the world is shattering apart, that I am granting one last wish.
I see the future, see you suspecting what has been done to you. It will be the first real secret you have ever kept.
It will hurt.
You will bite you lip until it bleeds. Your heart will ache.
A body that has literally been stopped, it's cells held in permanent stasis, will never age. You will not hunger, you will not age, you will not cycle through what all other humans experience.
But you will hurt. Oh, how you will hurt.
Your beautiful, honest blue eyes, so strange and unique and open, will become shuttered and dark. Those that love and trust you implicitly will stop. There will suspicion, and at first, it will be for no other reason than your own abruptly changing behavior.
But you don't know that, not yet.
Right now you are clinging to him like you will be allowed to cling forever, holding to him with the vain hope that the moment moves on.
If it is my final moment, I do not wish for it to last forever, and it won't. But it will be felt. This last bit of magic requires I stay just a little longer.
Your clinging now will become avoidance in just a few short years. Hatred. Resentment. You will not remember me, not for a decade. Not until he is dead in your arms and you understand it was nothing he did. Your poor first love, dead after throwing himself into battle after battle simply to avoid your withdrawal.
Only then will you see that none of it was his fault, that he was never involved, not really.
This is all you and me, in this last moment.
I savor these final images, this last bit of knowledge.
Suspicion will turn to fear to hatred. Sacred to sacrilege.
You will give up everything just to lose everything.
Comprehension will not come for some time.
I'd laugh if I wasn't flying apart, trying to focus everything into one final wish. My own.
You don't see it yet, the lonely years of wandering, of hiding. Of being so utterly lost. You will try, again and again, to belong. But from this moment you will never belong again.
Your heart will break a thousand times, a million. It will become a dark, twisted thing.
You will be angry, and you will hate.
I see you killing when cornered, your secret, such as it is, being discovered.
At that point you will still want to survive, you will cling to the vain, selfish hope that someday you might be freed of this curse.
You will justify their deaths, but you will always wonder.
You don't know yet that you will attempt to destroy yourself in every way imaginable. You will feel the pain of a thousand deaths. Burning, swords, drowning. You will submit yourself to the ignorant fear of superstitious peasants and the age old hatred of youkai. Rocks and claws, teeth and ropes. You will submit to all of these, and you will live.
The pale one will find you a curiosity. He will see you in a century and not recognize you. My work will be that finely crafted.
Human minds were not meant for eternity, for immortality.
But he is too perceptive not to notice the feel of your power, and he will not be half mad. He will remember, and will wonder what happened to the human girl his brother mated.
He will feel disgust when you feel only hope. A vain, desperate, selfish hope.
You will beg, and he will turn away in apathy.
You will continue this cycle for four centuries.
And then you will see your own mother walking to the store, and something in you will shatter.
You can't comprehend the pain that will accompany that moment, and even though I have only seconds to savor it, I take those moments. I revel in them, and could I laugh, I would.
You will watch from a distance, because you are afraid. You once belonged, but by know you know that you do not, that you can never belong again. You play through imagined longings in your head, of reunion and love. But there will never be love again.
It will take seeing her buried for you to seek him out. You will look for him in country after country, your despair flavoring your insanity until it becomes desperation.
You do not know that you will become worse than a mad, rabid dog, not now. Now you are clinging to him, hoping that love will conquer all.
You do not know that he will refuse your request, no matter how you try to reason. His senses tell him only that an ignoble beast has come, skull soft and brain functioning at only the most basic of levels.
You do not know that you will be soulless. Not yet. Right now you hope.
Time will take that away. I will take that away.
In six centuries, when the world has forgotten the existence of spirits and magic, when you have lived through tragedy after tragedy, you will break utterly, completely.
There will be only need. Desperation. The craving for darkness that only he might be able to give. You believe it with every cell of your being. It will be the only hope left to you, and it will drive you to obliterate the last bit of light that has remained untouched.
You do not yet know that you will kill a child to gain peace.
Right now you are imagining your mother, your brother, the youkai you love and the friends you want to keep safe.
You are thinking of a time after my existence. You are hoping, praying. You feel your heartbeat and his beating together and you are picturing a time where you can be happy with him. You will never know how easy it has been to destroy it.
Your peace will come only at the price of a child's life and the hatred of one that had been your ally.
It will not come easily, but you will give yourself over to your punishment. You do not yet know that you will thank him, with all the pieces of the broken thing you will call your heart, for cutting out your tongue, for shattering your skull and ripping out your organs. You cannot know that you will lay, a broken pile of ruined flesh and twisted need, welcoming the touch of a sword that is made to destroy every last part of you.
You cannot imagine, cannot understand. Indeed, how could you?
He will not know that it will be release. He will see only his grief, his pain, and you will weep. Your tears will be mistaken for contrition.
He will not know that you weep for gratitude. He will not understand that he is giving you what you have craved for centuries. Fury and anguish will cloud him to everything but the immediate satisfaction of your death.
Those who have aided in my destruction will all be touched. All will lose, ultimately all of them will pay the price.
You will remain as blind to it then as you are now.
But you, you will be my tool, the last breath that will live on beyond my end. Twisting the hearts of man and youkai alike has been simple, for their desires are simple.
But you desire nothing, not deeply enough that you will give anything, do anything for it.
You do not yet understand that you will.
You will be my greatest achievement of them all. Out of all the hearts I've broken, you have the farthest to fall.
A/N: Anyway, this was (if you didn't get it) from the jewels perspective. Written when I first woke up and unbeta'ed.