The User's Guide And Manual For
Copyright E-Z Jedis.inc
You are now the proud owner of a LUKE Unit! In order to obtain maximum enjoyment from your moisture-farming jedi, we advise you to follow the instructions below
Name: Luke Skywalker
Type : Tatooinish male
Resident of : Tatooine, Polis Massa
Height : 1.71 meters
Weight : 60 kilograms
Manufacturers : Darth Vader and Sons .co
1 pair of moisture farmer clothes
1 pair of Rebel pilot uniform
1 pair of black jedi clothing
1 shorter-than-average stormtrooper uniform
1 blue lightsaber from an downfallen ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit
1 green lightsaber
1 artificial hand
Your LUKE SKYWALKER unit, has been programmed to be an excellent jedi and an excellent pilot. It is also programmed by 2 special units (OWEN LARS unit and BERU LARS unit) as a moisture farmer, but it is still bad at it. Additionally, just like its father, the LUKE SKYWALKER unit is whiny, especially when access to Anchorhead town is denied.
Your LUKE SKYWALKER unit is Force-sensitive, due to his father (SEE ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit and DARTH VADER unit) being created by the Force and placed directly into a woman's womb (SEE SHMI SKYWALKER). The LUKE SKYWALKER unit for the reason above comes with 50% extra Force than our previous jedi models. It will be able to raise an X-WING unit with the help of a YODA unit in half the time ! Plus it is 50% more deadly with the new lightsaber programmes installed to it.
Note : The STARKILLER unit is 90% stronger Force-wielder and faster lightsaber duellist than your LUKE SKYWALKER unit for reasons unknown. For more information contact Darth Vader and Sons .co in 800-11-FORCE
Your LUKE SKYWALKER unit is a great pilot (only if you need it to terminate Space Stations, for any other uses such as transportation or smuggling we advice you to buy a HAN SOLO unit). It will not require aimbots to fire an accurate shot, which would be one in a million by other pilots (SEE HAN SOLO unit) but it will require a pre-installed telepathic message receptor (TMR) to connect to a FORCE-GHOST OBI WAN KENOBI unit. However, it will be difficult for it to deflect or avoid incoming projectiles (blaster projectiles mostly) thus the assistance of a HAN SOLO unit operating a MILLENNIUM FALCON unit is essential.
Note : the telepathic message receptor supports connection to USB drives, for your own convenience to pass the data sent by the FORCE-GHOST OBI WAN KENOBI unit into flash memory sticks.
Our LUKE SKYWALKER unit is still bad at moisture cultivation, we suggest that you buy an R2-D2 unit instead from your local Sandcrawler market
Note : You will have to understand and speak fluently Jawanese, as the manager is a jawa
Your LUKE SKYWALKER unit has a pre-installed hard drive, making it efficient on its own, the only thing you will have to do is bath it, brush its hair, teeth, face and hands. After the first time all the action that you made will be recorded, registered and repeated, for your own convenience and your unit's confidence and independence.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q : Why is my LUKE SKYWALKER unit fighting and being rude to a HAN SOLO unit ?
A : For the love of a LEIA ORGANA unit. Purchase a DARTH VADER unit to explain that he is both his and her father.
Q : Why is my LUKE SKYWALKER unit so whinny ?
A : Because you either denied him to go to Anchorhead or to the Academy. Or because he is too lazy to check on the moisture collectors
Q : Why isn't my LUKE SKYWALKER unit not convincing as a stormtrooper?
A : Because he is shorter than Jango Fett and his clones
Q : Why is my LUKE SKYWALKER dancing ?
A : It's not dancing. It's trying to deflect small laser jolts from the jedi trainball. Apply the helmet included and ask it to use the Force-GHOST
Q : Why isn't my LUKE SKYWALKER unit less powerful than the STARKILLER unit ?
A : We don't know either, it's a mystery
My LUKE SKYWALKER unit turned into a purple dragon with a power rangers villain voice
Your LUKE SKYWALKER unit was mistaken with a MALEFOR unit from the Spyro the Purple dragon trilogy. Return the unit and we will refund you and ship you the correct unit in at least 5 working days
My LUKE SKYWALKER unit doesn't attract my friends
The LUKE SKYWALKER unit isn't programmed to be a womaniser. For womanising you should purchase a HAN SOLO unit
My LUKE SKYWALKER isn't as handsome as my ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit
We are sorry but the LUKE SKYWALKER unit is not for decorative purposes. For decorative purposes we suggest that you buy a VASE unit.
My LUKE SKYWALKER unit isn't as strong as my STARKILLER unit
That's a mystery as we said above. The LUKE SKYWALKER unit doesn't serve strength purposes only elegant battling ones. For carnage uses we suggest that you buy a DARTH MAUL unit
We at E-Z are not to be held responsible for any broken hearts and family reunions gone bad. We hope you enjoy using your LUKE SKYWALKER unit and that you treat it nicely so that it will live up to its full lifespan.
Note : The LUKE SKYWALKER unit lives up to an average of 100 years. You will die first. Please before you die find a loving home for your LUKE SKYWALKER unit