I don't own anything Inuyasha.
This story was the most ridiculous thing...
The food was ready, which was a good thing as most of the guests had already consumed their fair share of alcohol… and then another fair share.
"I hope everyone still has their appetites," their host called out as everyone took their seats. Placing a covered serving dish down, he leaned inappropriately into Sango's space, capturing her eyes and said, "Especially you, Sango-dearest. I have a lot of pride in my dishes. I hope you can swallow it all."
Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe his constant attempts created an immunity to his lewd charm, but the brown hair woman rolled her eyes while retorting, "I doubt anyone has had trouble."
Kagome and Shippou's laughs filled the room as Miroku once again faked a hurt expression, passing out plates on his route around the table. Coming to their last-minute guest Sesshoumaru, who placed himself at one head of the table, he started setting the white dish down when Miroku was stopped by the subtle waving of a clawed hand. "I ate prior."
The violet-eyed man looked confused to why someone would eat before going to a dinner party, but Shippou butted into the conversation by addressing the inuyoukai. "Ah, still haven't gotten used to human food, huh?"
Kagome felt a tingle run down her spine, and though she didn't hear their conversation she had a pretty good idea by catching his response as he stared at her dangerously. "I would not say that."
As soon as she could break the eye contact Kagome finished the rest of her drink in one gulp with a blush and greedily grabbed her sister's, who was busy threatening Miroku with a fork.
"So!" Shippou exclaimed, pretending he did not see their exchange. Reaching out towards the bread on the table he nodded towards Kikyo's direction, fully gaining her attention. The fox held one out to her, one eye winking and one fang gleaming in his mischief. "Kikyo, want to butter Inuyasha's… bread?"
As Sango giggled and skin heated from the alcohol, her cousin swiped the roll from the kit's hands and took a bite, glaring him down.
"Ah, Kikyo-sama," Miroku cooed while taking his seat. "I'm glad you are enjoying my buns."
While the main gigglers of the evening laughed, Inuyasha finally entered the room and stood over Kikyo protectively, signaling everyone to ease their teasing on his desired woman.
Still smiling, Sango leaned towards Kagome as the hanyou took his seat and whispered, "What's his problem?"
"Apparently," she answered back, "dogs get real testy when they want to get laid."
They laughed together and completely by accident Kagome caught sight of Sesshoumaru once again. His claws spoke of danger, his stern expression of composure, and his stripes traveled to places no modest woman would dare think about. Maybe she shouldn't drink anymore tonight. He looked like someone who was always testy…
"Hey," her sister's voice brought her back to reality, "where's my drink?"
Forgetting judgment, Kagome shrugged while taking another sip.
Miroku announced the feast on the table, winking shamelessly at his favorite recipient, before coming to the main course. Pulling the sterling silver cover off the plate in an overly expressive manner, he revealed a beautiful roast surrounded by obscenely rounded potatoes, complete with peppercorns to resemble nipples, and small carrots too phallic to be accidents.
"For your enjoyment, I have prepared a rump roast with a special sauce; Ceman." Shippou choked on his salad while Inuyasha stopped breathing and all three girls blushed. Surely he didn't… Miroku wouldn't go that far…
With his usual bright expression he innocently held up a small container with a bright label, clearly showing "Ceman. Special Turkish Sauce."
Sango threw her napkin at their host while the kit broke out into giggles. Though amusing, Kagome couldn't help but thinking it was a good thing Sesshoumaru had eaten beforehand: Inuyasha's older brother probably couldn't swallow a spoonful of Cemen without losing a part of his stoic mystique.
Throughout the evening there was more laughing, hysterics, tears, and more alcohol consumed then the actual food.
And finally, Kagome's favorite part; Dessert! Her head felt swimmy and her cheeks hot, but sweets always called out to her no matter the state of intoxication.
Walking in from the kitchen, Miroku once again has their next dish covered. He practically looked giddy from the lewdness of the evening and apparently this last one was to be the final joke on everyone. Once he had everyone's dazed attention he revealed a beautiful golden loaf and announced, "I give you a delicious sponge cake from England, Spotted Dick!"
There was laughter, of course, mostly from Inuyasha, but what took everyone's attention was Kagome's loud declaration. "Spotted Dick? Pfst! I would prefer 'striped' myself…"
And the room went quiet.
She knew the blush was intense because the heat of her embarrassment engulfed her. On cue the whole party slowly turned their heads her direction, then simultaneously turned to Sesshoumaru, who had yet to react to anything over dinner.
Inuyasha's confusion became too much, so he turned in Kagome's direction to have her tell him it wasn't true; she did not just say that about his brother. "Ka-"
But when his voice broke the silence, she clumsily jumped up, knocking over her chair and staring straight at the floor. "I-…um. You see-… yeah. Car… Go… Thanks… Bye." Sango reached out, but her sister was gone towards the front door ina rush, hiding her blush behind her hands.
No one moved for a minute, but the first to was the last one anyone expected. Gracefully, Sesshoumaru stood up, placed his unused napkin on the table, and politely excused himself. Seeing the youkai's predatory smirk Inuyasha gritted his teeth and stood as well, his claws digging into the table as he eyes followed his brother, but his body couldn't seem to move.
Once the front door closed, the tension lessened and Shippou asked, "Shouldn't we tell him she's a miko?"
Again, there was silence until Inuyasha's shoulders relaxed. With a small nod he retook his seat, grabbed a fork and pierced the dessert directly. "Nah, you know how Kagome is with sweets." Another wave of confusion swept over the room until Inuyasha took a large bite of the cake and finished, "Spotted, striped, or slightly burned, she'd still eat it."
A/N: Thanks for reading!