How To Love

Lil' Wayne

…

Hey, it's Daniel. Leave a tone at the beep.

Melinda could only sigh in frustration. This wasn't the first time and this wasn't the last time that he would not return her phone calls.

With the constant distractions and chaos on set, how could she even concentrate on him? Daniel…her boyfriend…but she wanted to hold on….hold on for as long as she could. She invested so much energy in him. So much that she was tired.

She was tired of the random numbers from girls. His one night stands she assumed, but stardom had its sacrifices. It was the norm. A guy couldn't constantly keep turning down attractive girl after attractive girl. The curse of the spotlight, you could always get someone better. Not only was this in celebrity life but real life as well.

She remembered the constant arguments her brother and sisters pretended not to hear from their parents. The constant allegations of lipstick on the shirt…the "bruise" marks on her father's neck. But, her mother endured…and so would she.

Thinking back, she didn't care about the random girls because she knew she was his main girl. People saw their pictures together and tweets. It couldn't be overlooked. But somewhere between there, she found herself getting sick of the constant infidelity. Tired of him beginning to ignore her and the jealous glances from the blondes, brunettes, and anyone else in the equation.

She was tired.

Putting her phone on silent, she laid it on her Chester drawer in her dressing room. Sitting down, she let the tears fall. She let everything out she had held in for a while. There was no point to drying her eyes, because more would fall.

…..

"What could she be doing?" Jahmil shook his head as he headed to Melinda's dressing room. He hoped everything was ok. She was never late like this to shoot a scene. Knocking on her door, there was no answer. He could only hear the sobs.

Opening the door, he found her in her chair cradling herself. Her mascara dripping down her face. He didn't know what to do, but he didn't like seeing girls cry…but they were actors, they had to act through the pain of their personal lives.

"Melinda." He said with concern grabbing a kleenex from her stand to give to her."Here."

"Thank you." She dried her eyes, refusing to look at him at the moment…because she didn't want to talk about it….Jahmil taking the hint he pretended to never see.

"We got to go do this scene." He said waiting for her to collect herself.

"I know…." She said with tart as she checked her lip gloss and added mascara.

…..

She did it again. She took it out on him. He was just being a friend to her and she shut him down. Why did Dave and Alli have to be a couple…and why did all of a sudden their relationship had to escalate.

She hated read-throughs because she was always at conflict with herself. Somehow, she found herself being attracted to the small framed dancer…but she never showed it. She just figured she liked his nice personality and his goofey charm that was always enlightening.

Then Daniel came…charming, charismatic, tall…hot. Everyone wanted him the minute he stepped foot on set. But he saw something in her…and she grabbed hold to it. Look where it got her now.

She wanted to apologize to him, but he probably didn't care. He was so nonchalant.

…

Jahmil knew to stay as far away from her as possible when she was like this. He didn't feel like battling with her today. Melinda was constant drama in her relationships…Ray…now Daniel. He didn't have to ask why she was crying…because of Daniel.

Danny boy was infamous on set for "getting it" from anyone available who was willing….but she knew. They all knew. Jahmil remembered always rolling his eyes everytime Luke would come back to tell him everything Daniel would do to her.

Of course, Melinda would tell Luke.

He on the other hand didn't care because it wasn't his business. Why get in a relationship if he wasn't going to be faithful. …and treat her right….When you are single, that's another story. He himself had a couple of flings but he was honest with them. He told them that he wanted nothing more than just casual. No loss….all gain.

But as much as he tried to tell himself that he didn't care, a part of him did.

…

"Guys take 10 minutes." Stefan said walking away to get something.

"Great." Melinda said as they sat in the SUV waiting for him to come back. "Today is not my day." She said.

"I can tell…." Jahmil said. Both not realizing that she was still in his lap.

"You should be used to it." Melinda tried to make a joke.

"yeah I should…but you are still my friend." Jahmil hugged her as she hugged him back.

"Thanks. Good to know somewhere cares." She said.

"Mindy….never mind." He said finding himself frustrated that such a beautiful girl had so many insecurities. That's what Daniel took advantage of…and he found himself hating him for the simple fact. He hated guys who always hurt girls for their benefit. No he had not always been a prince he learned through time that if you had the right girl…you would her right regardless.

There was silence between the two, but it wasn't awkward….and she didn't want to move from his lap…even though she didn't need to be there until Stephan came back. Though they were so close to each other, they avoided eye contact.

Melinda was morethan nervous about this kiss that they had to do. Would she lose herself in it?

"Don't worry about it." Jahmil said. "We will get it over and be done with it." He said.

"How do you do that?" She asked biting her lip.

"Do what?"

"Know what I'm thinking" She said…their eyes boring into one another…Jahmil didn't answer. Damn why did Dave and Alli have to kiss?

…

"Guys, I'm back. I know this may seem new to you Jahmil, so just take your time." Stefan directed sitting in his high chair.

"Action." He screamed louder.

"Alli. I missed you, girl." He looked deep into her eyes. Dave looked into Alli's eyes but Jahmil couldn't help but be amazed like a child looking at a fascinating creature.

"Me too Dave. I've tried to move on but I can't….." Melinda tried to keep herself in check. This was Alli's life…not hers. Even though she wished she had a good guy like she had.

"I cant forget you either." Their eyes met….Dave and Alli….or Melinda and Jahmil….maybe both.

As soon as their lips touched. Something clicked in both of their minds. They both smiled. Melinda found herself forgetting about Daniel…forgetting about her insecurities…her parents. She focused on his soft lips bruising hers.

Damn she was a good kisser, he thought….bringing her hand to rest on his shoulder…deepening the kiss…biting her bottom lip. She stopped herself from moaning….moving her hands to his face, bringing him closer to her.

"Cut….Cut…" Stefan kept repeating as the two continued their "on screen kiss."

"Jahmil…." Melinda moaned as his tongue wrestled hers. So sweet….so…..

"Jahmil and Melinda" Stefan said with the loud horn.

"O…..ummmm….sorry." They both said.

"I got to go….."Melinda ran for her dressing room with complete embarrassment.

Closing the door behind her, she slid to the floor.

"It was just acting….just acting." She tried to convince herself…but she knew it wasn't. Daniel had never rubbed her back like that…or sucked on her tongue in that way that sent electricity down her spine. Of course Daniel was a good kisser and great in bed…but he didn't make her feel like a woman….he made her feel like a piece of meat.

Jahmil followed behind her. There was nothing that could be said about what just happened between them..because they both wanted it…and if Stephan hadn't have interrupted them, they would have kept on going. He stopped lying to himself a long time ago.

Without warning, he walked into her room.

"It's called knocking Jahmil." She said pretending to look in her closet to keep from looking at him.

"Whatever….are you going to act as if nothing happened." He leaned against her wall. She hated how he looked at her. He was waiting for her to talk

"All I know is that you took that kiss out of line." She said.

"Really…o so it was all just me."

"Yeah it was. I have a boyfriend and…." She choked on her words.

"See you couldn't even get that lie out." He walked up to her.

"Listen Jahmil….."

"No I will not listen because you choose to be where you are Mindy. You are with Daniel because you want to be. You don't know a real man and even if you did see one..you wouldn't recognize him. You're not mad that I kissed you. You're mad that I stopped."

"Get out….get out" She screamed. Rolling his eyes he walked out.

…..

"Someone made you mad." Luke said casually walking into Jahmil's room.

"Just family issues." Jahmil lied. He hated how people could see the emotions on his face.

"I can understand." Luke said letting him off. He knew when his friend was lying. "That was one intense kiss between you two today. Seemed almost real."

"It wasn't…..we were just acting."

"Are you sure. I mean it seems that two constantly look at each other when you think the other one isn't looking…and you two never get too close to one another."

"Luke we all cant be close." Jahmil said putting his hoodie on.

"Sure….if you say so…it's not like Daniel wants her. He never breaks up with girls officially. He just stops calling and hope they get the message." Jahmil rolled his eyes as the comment.

"Are you excited about your poetry slam tonight."

"I was…now I got to get in mind frame." He said. How could Melinda make him forget about this night he had been looking forward to for a month.

…..

"Jahmil must be a bad kisser." Jessica laughed sitting on Mindy's couch…trying to make her laugh.

"No….family stuff…." Melinda said smiling….playing it off.

"Good." Jessica said. "Because I always wondered what it would be like to kiss those juicy lips." Jessica giggled.

Melinda only rolled her eyes at the blonde…but she was jealous of their friendship and the pictures they took together. She wished she knew what it was like to be with him all the time. Apparently, he had to like her in some way…she was cute, and funny.

"Can we please talk about something other than this?"

"Yeah but first you have to go out with me tonight to the poetry slam. Jahmillion is going to do spoken word. He's pretty good. I don't want to go by myself….please….with sugar on top."

"I don't….sure." She didn't want to see them together…hugged up…like that. It would hurt her. It always did…always will.

…..

"Could you at least look happy that you are here?" Luke told Melinda as they sat at the table. Jessica went to the bathroom. She enjoyed listening to poetry…she did…but considering the circumstances.

"I am happy." Melinda smiled as she took a sip of her drink.

"So happy that you bought a drink." He said. "Look you and Jahmil really need to talk about your feelings because if you don't…something's going to explode…and its going to affect your characters.

"O so it's about the show….it's not about what I want or what I need."

"Melinda not here…."

"What ever." She brushed off the comment as Jessica sat beside her waiting for Jahmil to com on stage.

….

He had done this a million times, but he always felt the butterflies in his stomach. He was a natural. Words were his gift. As the curtain lifted, he walked up to the mike. Looking around the café, the dim lighted room relaxed him as he saw Luke, Jessica, and Melinda…who had a scowl on her face.

But he had to tell her, how he felt about her.

In her eyes I not only see who she is but the woman she pretends to be.

A woman who wants to be loved by me.

She is scared. Scared that I am like the men in her past

So what do I do to show her that I am the man?

That I can protect from others and herself

I'd love her down every night

Touch her places she didn't know existed

But not sexually

Mentally

Spiritually

But she's scared

Because she a girl who pretends to be a woman

The audience was in awe of the beautiful, simplistic poem. Only applause could be heard as he sat down with his other cast mates.

"Was it about me….." Jessica asked looking at Jahmil wanting it so bad to be about her. Why was he taking so long to tell her he felt about her? They hung out all the time and he still didn't make move. Was he shy?

"….."Jahmil could see Melinda's face. Her eyes. Maybe he did get through to her.

"…." Jahmil refused to answer her. He was hoping Luke would bail him out of it by saying some joke…but even he didn't know what to do.

"I got to go." Melinda grabbed her purse.

"Wait…." Luke said.

"I'm taking a taxi." She said.

….

I'd love her down every night

Touch her places she didn't know existed

His voice vibrated in her ear. His deep melodic tone….she began to picture him laying her down…taking off her clothes…as music played through out the room…his light touches….

She had to stop herself. She had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who didn't really care about her…and she found herself wanting to be with another who she didn't think was her type. But she did have someone.

Daniel did love her in his own way….just like her dad love her mom in his own way too. She had to go see him.

Telling the taxi driver her destination, she awaited…

…

"Jessica please don't." Jahmil walked outside behind her.

"Why don't you like me? I know you know I like you." Jessica looked in his eyes, touching his chest.

"Jess, you are a great girl…your cool, funny….."

"Just not what you want." She finally accepted the fact.

"…I'm sorry that I led you on." He said.

"It's Melinda isn't it?" Jessica asked as he only nodded.

…..

He was there. He was finally at home. They could talk about everything. Maybe it was a miss interpretation. Maybe he did want her…he didn't know how to say it.

Checking up the flower pot, she unlocked the door with the key. His condo was spotless…not like him at all. Walking upstairs, she heard nothing. She hoped everything was ok.

Being careful not to trip over her feet from walking so fast. She decided to call him once again. Finally making it to his bedroom, she opened the door finding his cell phone on the nightstand.

Seeing the light from the bathroom, she smiled glad that he was in the bathroom. That's why he didn't answer.

Sitting on the bed, she let the breath go she didn't know she was holding.

"Good." She said until she heard female moans…along with Daniel's.

"You like it like that don't you babe." Melinda heard their loud grunts. She didn't know what to do. Should she slam open the door like the other times and curse him out….or walk away.

What was the point….cursing him wouldn't do anything. He would keep treating her like trash and keep cheating on her left and right. She had no more energy but tears still shed.

Opening the door, she walked in seeing the two naked. Shock plastered on both of their faces.

"Daniel….we are done." She walked out the house slowly.

….

Why did the rain always have to come at the most unexpected time. There she was walking without a care. She didn't care if she could catch pneumonia… Her feet were walking but her mind wasn't registering the situation yet. She finally was strong enough to walk away.

You don't know a real man and even if you did see one...you wouldn't recognize him

Looking up in the night sky, she was glad that the rain let up a little bit. She was even more amazed when she realized she walked to Jahmil's apartment.

…

Jahmil drank his beer rewinding all that happened today. How their feelings were both exposed and nothing happened.

He tried to get that kiss out of his head but he couldn't. He couldn't.

Ding dong

"Shit" who was here at 10 at night. Opening the door, he saw a drenched Melinda waiting to step inside.

"Melinda are you stupid…how long did you walk in the rain?"

"I don't know. "She looked down at the ground. Jahmil only pulled her inside….grabbing a towel to dry off and some clothes to change into.

"Go…." He only said as she went to the bathroom.

Jahmil was mad at her. How could she do that to herself put herself through all of that emotional damage? Why did she have to see him? He couldn't control himself when he was alone with her.

"Jahmil…" Melinda touched his shoulder getting his attention. "How do you know when you have a real man." She asked.

"You can see it in the way he looks at you. You're the only girl in the room. He shows you everyday." He kept space between them.

"Me and Daniel….he was never meant for me." Melinda tried to touch him but he backed away.

"Is this a game Mindy? Don't act as if you never see the way I look at you. Are you trying to make him jealous? You know I care even when I don't show it."

"No it's not a game. I only saw what I wanted to see because I was scared ok. I am just like my mom. Who puts up with crap from a guy because he is her husband."

"I want a good man, Jahmil…I want you." She approached him touching his arms.

"Min…don't….please….I can't control myself around you." He hands began to shake as they snaked around her waist.

"I don't want you to." She stood on her tippy toes meeting his lips. Indulging in her taste…sweet strawberries. His hands slid underneath her shirt…gently rubbing her back. His right hand pulling her hair…hearing her moan….he shoved his tongue hungrily in her mouth.

"Jahmil" She broke away. "Make love to me…"

"Are you sure?"He asked as she began to rub his chest through his shirt. She could only nod as he picked her up carrying her to the bedroom.

She had never felt these many emotions in a kiss before…gentility, passion, lust, care. But it became clear to her, this is where she needed to be. The right guy was under her nose and she refused to it.

Taking off her shirt, he left hickeys on her neck…bite marks here and there.

"Jahmil…"She moaned reaching for his shirt as he took off his sweats. Licking her neck, she tossed her head back enjoying the pleasure as her hands rubbed his back.

"Does that feel good?" he asked suckling her ear.

"Yesssssss…." She moaned feeling him grab her nipple. A light scream escaped her lips when he began to pinch it gently….gently began to pinch both nipples.

Jahmil smirked seeing the beautiful sight before him. He licked the film of sweat between her breasts before he suckled her breast.

"oooo….."she closed her eyes as he bit, nibbled….her breast as it was ice-cream.

He could only feel satisfaction seeing her pant as she tried to slow her breathing down. Turning his attention to her other breast, he began to tug her nipple between his teeth.

"Melinda you're so gorgeous." He licked up her neck kissing her now bruised lips….his tongue driving her crazy.

Opening her legs for him, he gently played with her folds. As she grabbed to the bed sheets tossing her head to the side as he slipped two fingers inside of her…stretching her.

He didn't waste any time replacing his fingers with his mouth.

"O God…." She screamed as his mouth sucked on her pearl…making her cry…sending electricity down her body…cumming in his mouth as he drank every bit of it.

"Baby….o my…..I love you." Melinda panted as he gently entered her elongating his thrusts as they began to move together.

"I love you too…..ooooo" He moved harder…thrusting his hips faster. As they looked into each other's eyes.

"I'm…"Melinda screamed as they came at the same time….together…as one. Removing himself from her, they panted…smiling. He kissed her on the forehead.

"It never felt that good to me before." She said laying on his chest as he played in her hair.

"Yeah….." He could only agree holding Melinda in his arms…both bathing in afterglow.

"Will you be here in the morning when I wake up." She had to ask because she didn't want this to be a dream."

"Yeah…" He smiled as how she was drawing circles in his chest. "Will you be here?"

"Yeah…." She smiled. "Thanks for showing me what love felt like."