I was bored so I thought what the heck. Well this is my first Shrek fanfic, may be alot of OOC unless I do my home work. I won't bore y'all with a long AN so enjoy. Please review if you think it worthy.
Warning: Involves an angry teen in the beginning. Attitude gets way better when it the plot finally gets rollin'.
Disclaimer: Yeah yeah I own nothing except my oc.
~ Chapter 1 ~
Oh what the hell!
" You know what? I DON'T CARE!" I screamed at my mother.
Shushing me " You'll wake up Lydia." She gave me a death glare.
I returned it, baring my teeth in the process. Mom looked away, cursing my name under her breath.
An idea suddenly struck me " WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WAKEY WAAAKEY! C'mon join the party." Smiling in satisfaction as the baby wailed. I swear ever since the stupid THING was born my life has been a living HELL. I would love to get along, maybe even care about the little bundle of evil. I understand babies and toddlers need alot of attention, but does it have t get to the point where you sweep my needs under the rug?
Holding back a growl I slammed into the solitude of my empty room. I hate my life! Shoving earbuds into my ears I cranked up the sound on my ipod aka brickpod to RED - breathe into me. Music always makes things better. Yeah right!
Suddenly the slammed open and in came mommy and daddy looking like they want to murder someone. My dad yanked me painfully up by my hair, trying hard to not show any pain.
" Listen here you little brat! If you ever scare Lydia like that ever again, you'll wish you could die." He slammed me into the wall, my vision blurring.
" You don't know what pain is." I stood " So give me your worst." I growled through clentched jaws.
" Shut up!"
" Yeah, why don't you follow your own advice then." I'm done with it all. So done.
Damn baby, I hate the monsters! They ruin lives, mine specifically. If they hate me so much then they won't care if anything happens to me, right? Picking up my abused brickpod, I listened to whatever the hell was playing on the dang thing.
Things didn't used to be this way, no. Life was way happier, before Lydia that is. We used to have family time and meals at the table. Now all I get to eat are hot pockets and a peanutbutter sandwich if I'm lucky. We also went into debt because they wanted the absolute best for IT; A two grand cradle is just ridicilous. I miss the good days, not always fighting.
I guess I'll just end it all tonight...one way or another.
I want to look my best, blood or not. I stepped over to my pile of clothes and picked out my black jeans along with a purple shirt and threw on the articles of clothing. Then I slipped my feet into my jungle boots. This time being more gentle with brickpod I turned to sonne by rammstein; letting my feet carry me to the top floor where people liked to keep gardens and stuff.
We live in a small apartment, on the fifty-thrid floor, room twenty- seven. It was kinda cramped for four people, but one person nice and roomy.
Some time later I finally made it to the top floor, inhaling the night air. Smiling I leaned over the edge, farther and farther. " WHOA!" High speed dirt! Bracing myself for impact, it didn't happen.
Cracking my eyes open, only to shut them tight after being blinded by the sun. Wait...the sun? What is this? Alaska or something? Sitting up I was surrounded by trees and dirt...lots of dirt. Where am I? Hell? Lovely. Grimacing I stood up, walking off in a random direction.
" I'll eventually find out where here is."
After wondering aimlessy for a few hours, I plopped down under a nice shady tree. So far no sign of human life, which is fine by me. Leaning against the rougth bark I sighed contently, it's nice not being screamed at by everyone or walking on egg shells twenty- four seven. Popping my earbuds in I turned to golden cobra by Limp Bizkit.
A while later someone was coming towards me, someone really loud. Staying in my spot the really loud person walks by in midevil like clothing. " How did I wind up in a renaissance faire?"
The loud person did a one-eighty, obviously startled. "Sorry I didn't see you there miss." The man said. He looked to be in his late thirties, wore a rugged beard, had a medium build with mocassins.
"It's cool, nice outfit."
" Thanks my wife made it for me." The man smiled proudly.
" I always wanted to learn how to sew, but never got around to it." I sighed.
" Well a young lady your age should already know how to." The man stated in a sexist manner, well to me atleast.
" Really? Alright show me to your little renaissance faire so I can grab a bite to eat." The man seem offended with my reply and really confused.
"What is this renaissance faire you speak of?" Really into character huh?
"Ok what year are you from?"
" Nice character role, I'm from 2012, I come in peace or should I say peices?" I smirked.
The guy suddenly ran off screaming " SHE'S A WITCH!" repeatedly.
Okay nice chatting with you too mister stranger guy.
My stomach growled reminding me of how hungry I was. Placing a hand on my rumbling tummy I sighed. Well the have to end eventually. I continued on in the same direction, making not progress.
I'd kill for a sandwhich right now.
Checking my brickpod to see wat the time was, I sighed in misery, it was only three in te afternoon. " I'm so hungry!" At least at home I got fed feed once or twice a day. They probably didn't even notice me gone. A tear rolled down my cheeck, I hastily wiped it away. It wasn't that little monster's fault, no matter how much I wanna blame it on her.
" So crack a bottle, let yer body woddle...don't act like a sloppy model you just hit the lotto" I sang horribly off key.
Forcing a smile I began skipping across the strange land. It's nice to be alive right now. Apparently I still have purpose in this life. With that my heart lifted up. Enjoying natures athetics. The air smelt fresh, cleaner than ever! Where ever I am I never want to leave!
Skipping along I heard faint voices. I immeadiatly stopped skipping and started walking normal. Hopefully these people can tell me just where here is. Not too long, I finally crept up on the source of the voices.
There was a small clearing, surrounded tall bushes. Peeking through the greenery my vision was assaulted by a big obese guy yelling at a poor donkey. The fat guy turned around, guess my cover is blown. I stepped through the bushes, almost knocked down from the guy's stench. 'Has this guy even heard of a shower?'
"Hi" I greeted simply.
" Hi there." The donkey greeted back.
Wait! THE DONKEY TALKED! Must be recored of smething " Hi." I said again.
" What are yu ding here?" The GREEN fat guy asked.
Damn this guy dwarfed me! " I want to ask you the same...you see I'm kinda lost..." I trailed off.
" We'll help you find your village." The little donkey said enthuasticly.
" That's cool how you recorded sentences, but where's the box hidden?" I asked the green guy.
" Recording?" He looked at the donkey then back at me, then laughed.
"What's so funny?" the little guy asked.
I sighed " Okay well anyways I need help leaving this fair thing, and getting back to Chicago." I dismissed the whole not recorded thing.
" Chicago? That sounds fancy!" The donkey smiled.
" Uh can you really talk?" I asked in disbelief.
" Yes and I can do lots of other things like -oomf!" The green guy clamped the donkey's muzzle shut.
" Hey don't be so harsh to em' !" I made an attempt to push the huge guy away.
He let go " Never heard of Chicago, where is that?"
" You can cut the in character bull crap! where am I?" I'm beyond irritated.
" You're close to my swamp!"
"A swamp...we're nowhere near the southern states!"
" States? What are you talking about little girl?" The guy through his arms up in irritation.
" You know...as in the United States of America!" This guymust really be a country bumpkin!
" America! Never heard of it!"
"NEVER HEARD OF- okay can you atleast tell me how to get to the nearest ...village." I spat the last word sourly.
" Yeah an hour away from here."
" That's helpful" I muttered sarcasticly.
" Hey Shrek we can take her back to the swamp!" The donkey cried.
Shrek? What kind of name is that?
"Donkey!" The guy dubbed as Shrek warned the poor animal.
" Aw c'mon, Fiona wouldn't mind the female company, then we can go out and have guy time!"
" Well I supose it would be too bad, ok!" Shrek said way to cheerily for my comfort.
"Hey what's your name?" Donkey asked.
Well how's that for a craptastic story. I'll be very suprised if you guys want me to continue, but I won't mind. First story, so it will definetly improve...I hope. Well feel free t review or not. Have a nice one :D