A 16-year old boy with blond hair, wearing a green robe, and smoking a pipe is currently standing in front of a bookshelf. In his hand is the book, "Moby Dick," which he appears to be reading. He does this for a few moments, 'till he finally takes notice of the audience.
"Oh, hello there, didn't see you come in," the boy says, closing his book and taking the pipe out of his mouth. "Greetings, and welcome, to Ask Omnitrix1!"
(If you were a pojemon trainer what would you chose as your starter out of all pokemon games from pokemon red-pokemon black or white which one from any of those games would you choose?)
"That's a VERY good question," said Omni, "Personally, I'd choose Charmander."
"Now I know what you're thinking. Why Charmander, Omni?" said Omni, "Well, he seems like my kind of guy, that's why. Like in the original series, he started off as a perfectly nice Pokemon. Just for some reason his trainer abandoned him. And Ash, being the Gary-Stu he was, decided to take him in. And from there, they were great partners."
"But then he grew up and turned into an obnoxious prick. He would never listen to Ash, always hit Ash with a flamethrower whenever he told him what to do, and just acted outright lazy. Basically your average teenager," Omni said.
"But this also begs the question on the heck did Ash keep letting him out if he knew Charizard wasn't going to listen to him? Simple, because Ash is an idiot," said Omni, "But back to the topic, I would choose Charmander. Because, when he grew up, he never listened to authority figures… Unless he got something from it. Just like me."
(Can You Travel Backwards in Time?)
"Why of course I can," Omni answered, "Why do you think we haven't accomplished world peace yet?"
"That's right, I'm responsible for all those terrible things that happened to mankind over the years."
"Like who killed Archduke Francis Ferdinand?" Omni asked, "Why me of course."
"Who inspired a young Adolf Hitler to take over Germany and start his own Third Reich? Me also."
"Who made the stalk market crash in 1929? Me again," said Omni, with a disturbing smile, "Basically every single terrible thing in human history is all my fault. Every. Single. One. Which reminds me, I still need to go back in time so I can convince 18th century southerners to make African-Americans their slaves."
Omni then vanished in a haze of sparkles; with Star Trek beaming sound accompanying it. Then, in less than ten seconds, Omni reappeared, his face completely covered in dirt, and many rips in his robe.
"I'm a terrible person," he said calmly.
(Why don't you answer my questions?)
Omni just stood there, being silent, with his awkward smile, and pipe in his hand.
(What is the meaning of life?)
"Oh, really, even I don't know the answer to that," Omni said, "But I know someone who does."
Omni the pulled a cell phone out from his robe pocket, dialed in a number, and held up the phone to the side of his head.
"Hello, Jesus? Yes, this Omnitrix1. Yes, that's right, Omni," Omni then paused for a moment letting Jesus talk on the other end, "Oh yes, Jesus, I love you too. Oh stop, you're making me blush. Hey, can you answer a question for me? What is the meaning of life?"
Omni listened as Jesus spoke on the other end, and as he listened, he slowly looked more surprised.
"Really? All this time? Wow, I can't believe it. This has really opened my eyes. Thank you for sharing it with me Jesus. Please give my regards to your father. Thank you, good bye."
Omni then took the phone away from his head, ended the call, and looked towards the audience.
"He says it's none of your dang business."
(If you could make a band what would your bands name be?)
"I'd be called 'Omnitrix1: All About Me,'" Omni answered, "All our songs would be about me, all of our money would go to me, every theme of our concerts would be, in some way, centered around me. Heck, I'd probably be the only member."
"I can be the lead singer, back-up singer, lead back-up singer, lead guitarist, lead bassist, head drummer, stage effects supervisor, and my manager could be Tonto."
The screen then rushes over to Tonto, who's lying in his bed, playing a PSP.
"What?" Tonto asked, looking away from his game.
(What is the answer to the Ultimate question?)
"Cheddar," Omni answered in his strangely calm tone.
"This is Omnitrix1 saying, there's no such thing as a stupid question," Omni then put his pipe in his mouth, and blew a few puffs of smoke, "Until you think of it."
Ask your random questions today!
(A/N: Pleas tell me what you think, and tell how if I need to fix anything)