Arnold returned with a battered shoe box. The Elders all crowded round to watch as he took the lid off. The looks of curiosity were soon replaced with disappointment as the contents were revealed.
"Lightsabers?" Kevin was clearly unimpressed, "You expect us to fight off a zombie invasion with lightsabers?"
"Sure why not?"
"Because they're not real Arnold! They're toys!"
"No offence Arnold, but lightsabers are hardly contraband" Connor added.
Elder Cunningham shrugged, set the box down and pulled out one of the lightsabers. He pressed a button and with a tinny whooshing sound, a green stream of plastic light shot out one end. He twirled it with practised hands before pressing the button again to turn it off.
Nabalungi was watching wide eyed with excitement, obviously she had never seen a lightsaber before let alone an expert handle one with such dexterity.
"They look perfect for fighting zombies and they will help us see the way."
Arnold looked pretty pleased with himself and handed her one of the weapons still in the box. She held tight with both hands, pressed the button and yelped as blue shot out one end.
Arnold put his hands round hers and helped her guide it with some simple movements. "You're a natural" he said proudly.
There were three lightsabers in the box, only enough for half of them. He looked to Elder McKinley for help as to how to divvy them up.
"You and Nabalungi take two, that leaves one. Elder Davis you're pretty wily, why don't you take the last one?" Elder Davis not wanting to be left without a weapon, however useless it may be, obliged.
He picked it out the box gave it a few swings and promptly dropped it. He picked it up with an uneasy chuckle.
"But what will you use? You can't go out there empty handed"
"I have an idea, hang on a sec" Kevin left the room leaving the confused Elders behind to hear him scuffle about in another room.
Several resounding bangs and crashes later caused Connor to call out in worry, "Kevin honey, is everything ok?"
Kevin appeared in the doorway his arms full of about 30 hairspray cans. He emptied them out onto the sofa and went over to a draw to pull out a few lighters.
"I had a few extra a hairspray cans"
"A few?" Chris intoned.
"Spray them over the lighters and voila, a home made flame thrower" he glared at Chris, "You may thank me later"
"Where on earth did you learn that?" Connor looked admiringly at his boyfriend.
"Mormon summer camp"
"You did not learn that at Mormon summer camp!"
"Well maybe it wasn't part of the activity schedule but that is where I learnt it"
"Well there's no need to elaborate"
Kevin undid his belt and slid it off laying it face down on the sofa. He proceeded to slot 10 of the hairspray cans round his waist in a sort of flame throwing utility belt.
He motioned for Elder McKinley and Elder Neeley to follow suit. When their home made zombie killing belts were in place they all picked up a lighter.
Elder Davis cast his eyes down at the lightsaber still in his hand which was now seeming more and more ineffectual.
"Ok. Is everybody ready to go?" Naba asked the group.
"Could we wait just one sec please?" Kevin dashed back into the bedroom area of the mission centre. He was gone less than a minute. "Ok I'm ready to go"
"Did you just gel your hair to go and fight zombies?" Chris smirked
"I want to die pretty"
"Ok first off no one is going to die" Connor said firmly, "And secondly, you look pretty without the hair gel Kev I tell you daily"
"Yeah you use so much it's disgusting"
"Shut up Poptarts, I never said he wasn't pretty with hair gel only that he was pretty without it. Kevin's pretty all the time. In fact-"
"Can we please go now?" Naba was standing poised and ready, the lightsaber lit up in her hands, a determined look on her face.
Kevin lifted the table away from the door and set it down. "Will you manage to put it back when we're gone?"
Elder Church rolled his eyes, "We'll be fine Kevin"
"Wait you're gonna lock us out?" Elder Davis looked more frightened now the prospect of leaving was upon them.
"We'll just knock when we get back"
"And we'll be quicker than answering the door than Kevin was" Poptarts added.
"Good luck" Elder Church said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster and the other elders all murmured similar sentiments.
"Elder Schrader?" Elder Neeley spoke to his companion, "If I don't come back" He paused trying to find the right words and ignoring the looks that Connor was giving him about mentioning dying. "Just make sure that everyone who would need to find out finds out, ok?"
Elder Schrader nodded sympathetically and waved down the other Elders curious looks. 'Later' he mouthed.
The group of Elders waiting to venture out into the zombie infested village took a collective breath and steeled themselves.
"I'll take away the table as quickly as possible so you're not unguarded for too long. Ready?"
Kevin moved to the door and picked up the table. Connor tentatively played with the handle and then opened it catching a warm evening breeze.
The group filed out and the Elders left behind shut the door behind them almost too evenly. Each member gripped their respective weapon all their senses heightened, the eery silence serving only to make them all much jumpier.
Their mission had officially begun.