By Ana Aravena
It was another long day of performing for Adam. He led down on his soft mattress inside his tour bus.
"Ahh," said Adam, "finally I can rest." As Adam placed his earbuds into his ears and began to pick a song, Tommy entered his room. "Hey!" Shouted Adam in complete happiness, a smile emerging from his face. Tommy simply waved awkwardly and proceeded into the next room. "Wait a sec," said Adam as he quickly removed his earbuds and hopped off his mattress. "What's up Tommy? Did you enjoy tonight's show?" Adam was simply being playful. He and Tommy had shared a kiss during Fever, as usual and he was asking him if he liked it in his own playful way.
"It was fine, I guess." Said Tommy, "I really have to…"
"I know right." Interrupted Adam, "So fine." Adam leaned in closer to Tommy. Tommy quickly moved out of Adam's range.
"I have to pee." Said Tommy, "Talk to you later. Ok?"
"Tommy." The sound of Adam's voice made Tommy freeze up
"Yes?" He said in a slightly aggravated tone.
"I love you." Said Adam with a grin, "So much." The room was silent for a while, but then Tommy spoke.
"I…Love you too…Babe." Adam smiled at hearing this, not even noticing that Tommy didn't even turn around to look at him when he said it. Adam turned away for a moment, trying to hide his blushing face from Tommy, and then looked back to find that Tommy was gone.
"Must've really had to go," Thought Adam to himself. "Oh well." He decided to lie back on his mattress and continue to listen to music while he waited for his love to return. Minutes passed, then hours, then finally he fell asleep. Adam awoke to the sound of the tour bus door closing. "Sasha?" He said. No answer. "Taylor?" Still no answer. "Tommy?"
"Yeah it's me. Keep it down before you wake everyone on the bus." Adam sighed with relief.
"You scared the freaking crap outta me!" Adam loudly whispered. "Where were you?"
"What are you talking about?" Said Tommy, "I've been here the whole time." Adam was slightly confused, but wasn't in the mood to argue. After all, it was 3'oclock in the morning.
"Come sit next to me baby." Said Adam, with a grin on his face.
"Uhh..." Said Tommy, "No, that's ok. I'm bushed. I'm just gonna sleep in my own bed tonight. Goodnight." Adam was now very puzzled. Tommy never had a problem sitting next to him on his mattress before. Or did he? Thinking about previous interactions between the two of them caused Adam to realize a few important details. Tommy never really seemed like he was comfortable with Adam. He must have never noticed before because he was always so happy with Tommy.
"No," thought Adam, "No, Tommy's comfortable around me. He always smiles, kisses, and hugs me…on stage. No. Tommy loves me. He said so himself. Tommy loves me." Adam kept repeating that in his head all night as he tried to sleep. "Tommy loves me. He's got to. I love him."
"Wake up," came a voice from the entrance of Adam's sleeping quarters, " We have to record today. Let's go." It was Monte. He always managed to ruin Adam's naps.
"I'm coming! Geez Monte, give me some time to wake up a little would you?" Monte chuckled and then exited Adam's room. Adam yawned as he slowly raised himself up from the mattress. He quickly grabbed a totally fashionable outfit, turned on the radio, and got dressed as he listened to Karmin's song, "Brokenhearted", on the radio. He then proceeded to the bathroom. Once there, he hummed the tune of the song as he applied his eyeliner. Once he was completely satisfied with his appearance, he left the bathroom and knocked on Tommy's quarter's door. "Hello? Wake up sleepy head! Time to record with your favorite singer!" Tommy didn't respond. Adam started to become annoyed. He isn't really the type of person with a patient soul. "Tommy! Let's go! Come on!" As Adam continued to knock on the door, his dancer Sasha approached him with a coffee in her hand.
"Tommy's not here." Sasha handed Adam the coffee. He sipped it as she spoke, " He left a little while ago. Actually, right before Monte went to wake you up. Said to tell you that he went to pick up a string for his bass guitar." Adam frowned. He was looking forward to talking to the one he loved the most.
"Oh, ok. I understand." Sasha felt bad for Adam. She knew that something was troubling him.
"Hey," she said, " He's probably down the street at that junky music shop. I can go get him if you like." Adam smiled. He knew exactly where that music shop was.
"No Sasha. I'll get him. Wouldn't want you to strain those dancer legs of yours." Sasha smiled and then nodded as she exited the tour bus. Adam put his coffee down for a moment, as he put on his leather jacket. He proceeded off the tour bus and headed for the music shop a few blocks down. He hummed the tune of a song that he was writing for his next album as he walked. After a few minutes of walking, he could see the front entrance of the music shop. He smiled at first, but then something else caught his eye. Tommy. He was unlocking the door to a house that was about a few minutes away from the music store. Adam knew that it wasn't Tommy's house. Tommy lived down the street from Adam. What was he doing at this random house? And why did he have a key to this house? Adam hid in an alley so Tommy wouldn't see him. He glanced at Tommy from behind the wall. Tommy opened the door and entered the house. Adam quickly managed to place his foot in the doorway before the door fully closed. There were two sets of steps in the house. One going up and one going down. Adam suddenly heard Tommy laughing from upstairs. He quickly proceeded up the stairs, trying to make less noise as possible. Kind of hard to do when you're wearing 5-inch heels. When Adam finally reached the top, he placed his ear on the door that was blocking his way. He could hear laughing. It was a girl laughing. Then he heard Tommy laughing. Adam knew that something was going on in there. He just didn't know what. He slowly turned the doorknob and gently pushed on the door till it was fully open. The sight of what was on the other side of the door would never leave Adam's mind.Chapter 3
Adam stood frozen as he saw the one he loved kissing another. And not just any other, a woman. "Tommy!" Adam shouted as tears began to build up in his eyes, "What are you doing?" Tommy looked at Adam, and then looked at the woman he was kissing. She looked quite aggravated.
"Babe," she said, "who is this?"
"He's no one sweetheart. That's just my boss. Hold on one sec, babe. I'll take care of it." He rose from the mattress that he and the girl were sitting on and approached Adam. " You need to leave. Like right now." Tommy's face was completely serious. No hit of sadness or guilt. Adam couldn't believe what he was hearing. Tommy, the man who he loved, was telling him to leave after he caught him cheating.
" I'm not leaving!" Said Adam, "Not until you tell me who this woman is and why you were kissing her!" Tommy looked confused.
"I was kissing her because she's my girlfriend. That's what you do when you're in a relationship with someone."
"But you're my boyfriend! You're not supposed to be kissing on other girls! Don't you even care about me? About us?"
"There is no us!" Shouted Tommy at the top of his lungs. The room grew silent. Adam could feel his heart breaking. Tommy pulled him outside of the room and shut the door behind him.
"How can you say that?" Said Adam, "I thought you loved me." Tommy exhaled from his nose.
"Look," he said finally, "I…I never, ever had feelings for you."
"But what about our kisses? Didn't those mean anything to you?"
"No. No they didn't. I just went along with it cause the crowd loved it."
"But… But you would spend time with me. We talked and laughed and called each other nicknames."
"I thought that just meant we were friends."
"But you told me you loved me! Do friends do that? You said you would never leave me?" Adam could feel the tears trickling down his cheek, but at the moment he felt that he shouldn't wipe them away. He wanted Tommy to see the tears of pain he was crying. Tommy stared at Adam for a while and then he spoke.
"Adam," he said, "I gotta be honest with you. I did all those things because I needed this job. I had heard things from the former bass players that you've had and they said that you were the toughest boss. So I figured if I acted like I loved you and acted like your boyfriend, than you would hire me and make sure I wasn't going to get fired. I'm really sorry, but I would never dream of loving you. Stephanie has been my girlfriend since the beginning. She knew about everything. I guess she just didn't recognize you since you're not overly dressed. I need you to leave right now Adam. Go to the studio and I'll meet you there later. Ok? Bye." Tommy slammed the door shut and left Adam a frozen statue. Adam was completely speechless. He was still processing what just happened.
"Tommy," said Adam, "wait… please. Please don't leave me…Alone." Even more tears began trickling down Adam's cheeks. He ran down the stairs and out of the house. When he approached the tour bus, he collapsed on the steps. He held on to the metal bar attached to the tour bus's stairs and cried. He cried and cried even more than he had ever cried before. His tears became a stream of black, due to the makeup he was wearing. He had never felt broken, so used. The truth had finally reared its ugly head. Tommy had just been using Adam to get a job and probably even publicity. He never really loved Adam. It was all a lie. Tommy's harsh words replayed in Adam's head. Causing even more tears to fall from Adam's eyes. Adam stood up from the steps of the bus and slowly made his way to his bedroom. He flicked on the light switch and collapsed once again, but this time onto his mattress. He shoved his face into his pillow.
"Why," said Adam, his voice muffled by the pillow. "Why, Why, Why, Why? Why Tommy? Why did you do this to me? You said you loved me. I loved you… I loved you…So much." Adam looked up from his pillow and his frown turned into a scowl. On his nightstand was a picture of Tommy and himself. Tommy was kissing Adam on the cheek as Adam blushed with a smile on his face. Adam didn't know what to feel as he looked at the photograph. He wanted to cry because the love that they shared wasn't real, but he wanted to scream in rage and throw the picture out the tour bus window. He felt betrayed, used, hurt, scared, angry, but worst of all lonely. Adam grasped the picture with both his hands. He lifted it up in the air. He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to smash the picture into a million pieces. Before he could drop it onto the tour bus floor as hard as he could, he looked up at the picture one last time. The frame had the words, "Forever Yours," inscribed into it. Adam's scowl became a frown once again and his eyes became as wide as a puppy's. He took the picture and held it close to him. He hugged the picture as more tears ran down his cheeks. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't smash the picture. Because in this picture, Tommy was still his. He and Tommy were as happy as anyone could be in a relationship. Adam was in love. And in this picture, Tommy loved him back. Adam held the picture close to his heart all afternoon and all through the night. Hoping that it would fill the large empty hole in his heart.