Time if a fleeting thing.. Some times I wish I could relive the days that you were here with me. See you smile up at me your blue eyes sparkling the way they used to when you... No I can't let my mind wonder to you... you already own the pieces that are left of my broken heart you will not have this much hold over me... or at least that what I try and promise myself...That if you came back today after all these years I wouldn't run at the first glance I had at you and pull you into my arms... but I know the truth and it kills me. Your not coming back you made that clear. It had been fifteen years and I've still dreamt of you every night since...
The Kingdom is ever persistent that I choose a bride, so as to continue my lineage. I know that I would always curse myself if they didn't look like you... Just one little piece of you to keep and call my own would that be to much to ask?
I clenched my hands into the material of my pillow case and damned the morning for stealing your beauty from me. As the all too familiar haze of you cleared from my thoughts, and I wished that I could blur your face from my memories. Those hauntingly stunning eyes that serried my soul, ride myself of the sting of your abandonment...
I left my bed, dressing as quickly as I could manage... I walked down the long corridor that I know would lead me out to the court yard where my most redeemable candidates were waiting.
None of them looked anything like my dear sweet Alice. They were sewer pigs in compared to her beauty, her smile, the nervous way she would play with her long flowing blond hair, that charming laugh, her quick logical wit that could brake down even the most angelic and surreal of moments.
I walked around the group of woman and smiled the way that everyone wanted me to, made Idea conversations here and there, and wished that I might see her in the crowed. Pictured myself walking up and introducing myself, her phantom laughter ranging my ears, her infectious smile tugging up the corners of her mouth... I couldn't sand one more minute of this torture.
Hastily I retried back towards my bed chambers, trying desperately to clear my head of the phantom smell of her that stung my nostrils . Days like this are the ones that make me wish I was a boy again and none of this would be my responsibility.
I will marry one of the women that I had seen today even if it killed me.
I woke up from the same strange dream that I had been having since I was a little girl. I always dreamt of the same boy, the only thing that had changed was his age... How odd it was to be in love with someone that my own sleeping mind had created.
Ever day I would go out into the world hoping that I would see him, talk to him in person... but I know the truth and it kills me. Your not real the world made that clear. It's been six years and I still dream of you every night, but if that's the only place I can see you then I'll cherish ever second...