Hey, everyone! Thanks for clicking, now here, let me bore you to death with a lengthy introduction.
What this is: Anyone who has been on DeviantArt is probably familiar with something called an OC Quiz. For those of you who aren't, an OC, or Original Character, Quiz is a fun little survey type thing meant for artists and writers. You're given a series of numbers (typically 1 through 10), and you must assign an original character to each number. Then, you'll be given prompts in which you supply your character for the given number and you do what the prompt says (for example, "4 and 7 go out on a date, how does this go?").
However, I don't have any original characters, so instead, I filled in the quizzes using Mass Effect characters. Some of the prompts, I found, were quite coincidental and/or humorous, and that gave me the idea to write one-shots based off of the ones I thought could be expanded upon!
And that's where this Fanfic comes in to play. Each one of these chapters will be based off of a prompt from a quiz. Being that I'm hopelessly in love with the pairing, most of these will be Shenko, or Shenko themed, and seen through either Shepard or Kaidan's point of view (with the rare exception). The Shepard I'm using is my own Canon FemShep, a Paragon Spacer War Hero Soldier, though aside from a reference or two I try to make it ambiguous so we can each see our own Sheps as we read. Also, most, if not all, of these will be completely random and rather humorous. If that's not your cup of tea, then this story probably won't tickle you pink.
Each scenario will be listed at the top of the chapter, as well as when it takes place roughly in the storyline. I try not to stray from canon (with the exception of ME3's ending), and I'll make it clear if and when there will be spoilers. These probably won't be related to each other, nor in chronological order.
What's that? You're tired of my yapping and just want to get on with the prompt already? Oh, fine, fine.
Prompt: 1 (Kaidan), 7 (Shepard), 9 (Liara), and 10 (Garrus) play Twister. What happens?
Timeline: ME3 (light late game spoilers!) Post-Rannoch, Pre-Cerberus Base
Disclaimer: Bioware owns all: The characters, the settings, and most of my soul. Twister and all other mentioned board games are property of their rightful publishers. I only seek to gain personal entertainment through my writing; In no way am I expecting or making any sort of income.
"You know, Commander, when I suggested we have a game night, I really meant Strip Poker."
Shepard exasperatedly shook her head at Vega, carefully placing her teetering stack of board games down on the Lounge Room's coffee table. "Wrong type of crew bonding, James," she retorted with a smirk.
"Plus," Garrus added from his seat on the couch, "I think we'd like to hang on to whatever credits we have left."
James scoffed. "What, scared of losing again?"
"Not scared," Kaidan laughed, seated on the couch opposite Garrus', "just broke."
As the three men continued their banter, Shepard turned her attention back to the boxes she had been carrying, scanning the titles for one the crew might enjoy.
Liara scooted closer, cocking her head curiously. "Shepard, what are these?"
"Board games," the woman answered, her gaze lingering for a second on 'Battle of the Sexes'. Tempting… until she realized that she and Tali were the only females in the group, and monogendered Liara would only complicate the situation.
"Bored games? Isn't that an oxymoron?"
"No, board with an a. Human children play them, they usually involve some sort of strategizing or competition." Taboo? No, their translators were good, but far from infallible enough for that one.
"What's this?" The Asari reached down to pick up a box labeled Twister.
Twister! Shepard's eyes lit up mischievously. Why hadn't she thought of that in the first place? "Well, let's play it and you'll find out!" Scooting the coffee table out of the way, she pulled the polka-dotted plastic mat from the box in Liara's hands and spread it out on the open floor space.
"Really, Lola?" James laughed, motioning to the game pad. "There's no way you're getting me to play that."
Shepard feigned a sigh, a teasing glint in her eyes. "I don't think you could play even if you wanted to, Lieutenant. This game requires bend."
"Let me assure you, I can be quite bendy," the soldier smirked, "and I'd be happy to give you a private dem- Ow!" She laughed as Kaidan silenced Vega with a friendly yet forceful elbow to the gut.
Turning her attention back to the game at hand, the Commander motioned Liara over, then glanced towards the rest of the crew. "We need two more players… Alenko, you up for the task?"
Kaidan shrugged, flashing her that small grin he knew she loved. "Sure, I'm game."
"How 'bout it, Garrus?" she shifted her gaze to the Turian. "You can show us some of that reach and flexibility you mentioned."
"I didn't know you were in to those kind of games, Shepard," he chuckled, but strode over to the mat nonetheless.
Assigning Tali as the spinner (who had become quite enthralled with the plastic device), Shepard then addressed her three crew mates standing around the playing field. "The game's pretty simple, really. Tali will spin the spinner, and call out the color and body part it lands on. For example, she could call 'left foot blue'. We'd all then place our left feet on a blue circle as quickly as possible, but you can't share a circle with someone else. No touching the ground with anything except your hands and feet; if you do so, you're out. No foul play, and that includes kicking, punching, tripping, headbutting, and pushing. Last one left standing wins. Got it?"
"Is that all?" Garrus scoffed. "You humans make your games too easy, even my grandmother could play this."
Liara still looked somewhat perplexed, but she nodded nonetheless.
"Alright, Tali," the Commander glanced over her shoulder, "give it a whirl!"
The Quarian did as she was told, looking almost giddy with delight as the plastic arrow spun its way around the circle. "Right hand yellow."
"I thought you said this was a children's game, Shepard," Garrus commented ten minutes later, his voice muffled due to the fact that his face was nearly sandwiched between her back and the ground. "It seems rather…kinky, to be given to your young."
Shepard hesitated before responding, sliding her foot to the most recent color Tali had called. The new position it provided only added more fuel to the Turian's contemplation. "It's only 'kinky' if you think of it that way, Gar." Although, given the current state of the players, it was difficult to look at the situation as anything but that.
The game had started off innocently, but it hadn't taken long to deteriorate to its present condition. Garrus seemed to have the worst of it. He was lying almost completely flat on the ground, his arms and legs twisted in ways that didn't seem even remotely possible. Damn, he really was flexible.
Shepard herself wasn't having too much of an issue, facing the ceiling with her hands splayed out behind her and legs reaching forward. She wasn't about to fall anytime soon, but balance wasn't the matter at the moment.
No, the problem resided in a certain Biotic's position. Kaidan loomed directly over her, their bodies just inches apart. His arms extended down on either side of her chest, and he had one of her thighs pinned between both of his own.
Liara, of course, was doing just fine, poised in an almost yoga-like position in her own little corner of the mat.
Shepard struggled to keep her mind focused on the game, and out of the gutter that was cluttering her thoughts. It was impossible to ignore the heat radiating off of Kaidan's body, or the way his breath tickled her neck with each exhale. His cocky smirk didn't help, either. She could've sworn he was doing it on purpose… Hell, he'd probably planned the whole situation out from the start.
"Left foot green!" Tali called, half giggling, half slurring. The Quarian apparently couldn't hold her alcohol down.
The shift in positions only proceeded to make matters worse. Shepard now had both of her legs stuck between Kaidan's, and the space between them fused so that their bodies were in full contact with each other.
All innocent thoughts fled from her mind. "I said no foul play, Major," she murmured, meeting his eyes with an impish grin.
"Oh, I see nothing foul about this," he whispered back. His face hovered just barely above hers; it wouldn't take much to close that gap and replace the smug smile he wore. "In fact, I think we should be playing this game more-"
"Liara, no!" Garrus' shout was all Shepard heard before a high pitched yelp sounded, followed by the four players crashing to the ground in a tangled heap.
A bout of silence ensued, before Tali and Vega broke in to profuse laughter.
"I guess I couldn't reach that far…" Liara sheepishly muttered from somewhere above Shepard.
"Mf mffff mfmf mfffffmf mfff mf fff."
"What was that, Garrus?"
"Oh!" The Asari quickly stood up, allowing Kaidan to roll off of Shepard and the Commander to scooch from her position atop the poor Turian.
"Garrus, I'm not sure if you're a Turian Pretzel or Turian Pancake," she snickered, eyeing his rather uncomfortable looking poise.
"You got video of that, right?"
"Already sent it off to Joker!" James strode over, crossing his arms and looking down upon his Commanding Officer. "Well, Lola, I think I'd like to join in for the next round! This game night is a weekly deal, right?"
The woman glared up at him in response.
"You seemed pretty familiar with some of those positions, anything you'd like to share with your loyal crew?"
"Vega," she growled, "One more word, and you've got a date night with the airlock."
At least that shut him up.
Thanks for reading! Loved it? Hated it? Want more? Have your own Twister shenanigans to share? Then leave a review, I'd love to hear from you! As always, advice and criticism is well appreciated!