A/N: This was requested by my very first 100th reviewer, I hope you all enjoy it though! I had trouble writing a full one shot of this, so here is a drabble of Garrus/Tali babysitting Shepard's twins. I may build on it later, but for now, I liked it the way it was. :)
Spirits. How had he allowed Shepard to talk him into this? The mission was clear, and at least she had given him reinforcements, but as a Turian he had the good sense to realize when he was in over his head. A Turian would rather die than surrender; he didn't see it going that far. Insanity? Possibly. Death? Nah.
Speak of the devil. There went one of them now, half stumbling through the entertainment room of Shepard and Kaidan's apartment. His mandibles fluttered as Tali followed behind it, his eyes taking stock of his surroundings warily. Where had the other one gotten to? He started to take a step forward, only to stumble over something in his way. It fell and suddenly a loud cry was making him cringe, the squeal both annoying and painful.
Apparently the other had been standing or sitting at his feet. Spirits. How could these things get so close without him realizing?
"Pick her up. She is just whining. She'll settle once you hold her." Tali informed him with an amused chuckle as she went about following the other one.
Garrus shook his head, again wondering how he had gotten talked into this as he bent down and gathered the toddler into his arms a little awkwardly. It squirmed and then stared up at him with wide eyes, exact mirrors of Shepard's; it was analyzing him and he stared back, at least thankful it had stopped screaming.
"Do you even know which is which?" Garrus grunted cocking his head and leaning it down to stare at the one in his hands a little more closely.
"Why don't you ask Riley? She's the one you're holding." Garrus glanced up to see Tali scoop a squealing, squirming mass of limbs. "Rhiannon just loves her Auntie Tali, doesn't she?" She spun it around, before she set it, laughing, back on the floor.
The one in his hands decided on warfare, suddenly reaching its chubby hands up and grabbing ahold of his mandibles. He grunted and used his talons to pry off its fingers, setting the pouting creature back on the floor. It stared up at him, nearly silver gaze narrowed slightly as if contemplating what tactic it would use against him next. It apparently decided he wasn't worth its time, turning and running off toward Tali and its sister.
Garrus scoffed. Babysitting. He didn't babysit.
"I am not changing it. That's all you." He said as he moved to a more defensible position on the sofa. Riley came to sit at his feet, one chubby hand clinging to his leg with its other hand's thumb jammed in its mouth.
Tali laughed as she sat on the sofa beside him, plopping Rhiannon into her lap and ruffling its dark very-Alenko-like hair. Tali – now Tali babysat. She seemed in her element, much to his surprise. How he had got conned into this, he couldn't recall.
"You could use their names, you know." She was smiling; he could hear it in her voice.
He dropped his gaze to Riley and she looked up at him, smiling at him even as she sucked on her thumb. Okay, so maybe they were a little cute. For fleshy, pink, squishy creatures. Rhiannon tumbled off Tali's lap and climbed into Garrus'. She stood, awkwardly, on him, her chubby little hands finding hold on his mandibles; why did they keep doing that?
"Gawwus." She grinned.
"Gawwus, Gawwus!" Riley chimed in then, just after her sister.
"…Shepard is going to kill you." Tali said after a moment, voice slightly hesitant.
Very carefully, Garrus took the toddler's fingers from his mandibles, turning his head to look at Tali. "What did I do now?"
"First words, Garrus, they're supposed to be mom, or dad, something of the sort. She is going to kill you when she finds out you were not only Riley's first word, but Rhiannon's as well."
Garrus sighed. "I will never understand humans."
Okay…he could babysit. If he wanted to. Riley and Rhiannon certainly were charming…for toddlers. Probably got that from their mother. Spirits help them all.