Hi everyone! ^ ^ Well I have a lot more time than I thought so I came up with this.

I wrote this for three reasons. 1. First time writing a songfic. :D 2. I wanted to practice writing in first person. 3. I have terrible writers block!

Warning-This story contains heavier language and hints of gore/a lot of blood.

Disclamer: I do not own PoM or the song used. I only own the story.

I altered the ending of the song just slightly.

Song: Eyes open by Taylor Swift

Journal entry #36

I was slapped today…again. It stung, yes. But it was well deserved. I've been doing some of the dumbest things lately…and I just don't know why. I think I'm not caring anymore. I think-

"Lights out solider."

My head jolted upright, I felt my heart racing as the stern blue eyes of my superior officer stood in front of my open bunk.

"Oh, ah yes Skipper." My reply was silent as I saluted the flat headed penguin.

He nodded once, than left. Relief washed through my black and white feathers.

I was so grateful; he had every right to take my notebook...especially after the hell I had put him through today…but he didn't.

"Wow, man you're lucky as shit. If that had been me…well man you know what would have happened."

That was Johnson. My dark blue eyes gazed left to see his playful smile. I loved that bastard.

"Yes, the probability of your journal being taken away was…"

Mumbling followed as Kowalski calculated yet another useless fact.

"Can it Kowalski, I have my notebook and that's all that matters." I glared upwards through the fabric at the brainiac above me.

"Manfredi…it's a journal."

I glared once more up at Kowalski and punched the back of his thin mattress.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"For being an idiot." I growled adding "Journals are for girls."

Next thing I knew, Kowalski's head appeared over the side of the bunk and I was met with the scientist frowning in my face. Before I could react he reached for my open notebook and snatched it.

"Hey!" I cried in astonishment. Leaping forward I tried to grab it back but Kowalski was too quick.

Holding it out of my reach he pointed to my heading and spoke slowly, like I was dumb.

"J-O-U-R-N-A-L." He had a smug look on his face that I wanted to wipe off real quick.

"If you don't give it back I'll punch you!" I shouted.

"Now who's acting like a girl." His smug smile grew wider as he threw my notebook at me.

I wanted to kill him.

Arguing inevitable I stood from my bunk, landing on the cheap wooden planks of our small sleeping unit.

Kowalski glanced down at me, taunting me with his cool, collected gaze. Around his neck was the necklace his girlfriend gave him right before he left; like so many others to join the penguin militia.

Right now…I wanted to strangle him with that necklace.

Yet another one of my more recent issues has come bubbling to the surface. My irrational anger.

I started to shout at him, in which he gladly followed suit. In the background Johnson's pleading voice for us to shut the hell up rang throughout the cabin.

What followed next made my blood run cold. The three of us turned our heads towards the door in which Skippers enraged body was standing in. He strode over to us and slapped the daylights out of Kowalski and I.

"Would you two just shut the hell up!" he roared in my face, flipper lifted in rage.

"Thank you!" Johnson raised his flippers in some sort of triumph…earning a look from Skipper that would have made a leopard seal cry in utter fear.

"Look." Skipper started, gaze sweeping over the three of us. "I don't give a damn what your all whining about but whatever it is…it stops now." He eyed Kowalski and I. "Got it?"

"Yes sir…" we answered together.

"…Because if I can hear you all the way on the other side of camp-" He continued "-then my superiors can hear you. And that is NOT going to fly in my unit. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir." Kowalski and I answered quietly, eyes on the floor.

He turned, fiery eyes sweeping over us once more.

"We're a team." He snarled. "Start acting like one". With that he slammed the door and left.

I didn't want to look at Kowalski. Laying in my bed I turned away from Johnson to stare for a moment at our good pal Rico's empty bunk…he was hurt bad on our last mission. What had it been…? Three weeks now in the infirmary? That crazy son of a bitch was probably in more torment than any of us put together…poor guy.

"Good night." Kowalski's deep voice bounced off the walls.

Neither Johnson or I responded. I surly wasn't going to give him any of my good nights. He could kiss my ass for all I cared.

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

The next day had gone by quickly…although I was still pretty pissed at Kowalski. I wouldn't look at him, much less talk to him. But all that changed this afternoon.

"Alright men, front and center!"

Skipper's voice boomed from the center of camp. Our unit plus three others stopped immediately what we were doing and strode towards the center, curious at Skipper and his three superior officers gathered next to the flat headed leader.

We gathered around them, creating a large semi-circle.

"Today we are going to practice a few training moves on each other." Skipper began. "Think of this as a test of your strength and everything you've learned in your units." He concluded, head held high.

"Yes." The oldest superior started. "Skipper, would you like to demonstrate your unit first." It was more of a statement than a question in which Skipper replied "yes sir!" with a solid salute.

He tapped his lower beak in thought, scanning the clearing until he met my eyes. I averted contact quickly, like a damn fool.

"Manfredi you're up." He called curtly.

I groaned silently.

Walking into the center I stood in front of Skipper, saluting him respectfully.

Please…anybody BUT Kowalski…I prayed in silence. God must hate me right now because Skippers eyes landed on Kowalski and he beckoned him forward.

I scowled, staring at him bitterly as he stepped forward on Skippers other side. He saluted as well, giving me a sideways glance.

Skipper stepped back saying "begin."

Silence followed.

Everybody's waiting.

My heart thudded against my chest as I circled him. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea…I'd get to kick the shit out of Kowalski.

Everybody's watching.

He eyed me like a hawk, calculating my every step.

Even when you're sleeping…

I smiled, lunging forward. I guess I was to the make the first move.

Keep your eye-eyes open.

We collided in a fury of punches and kicks. I let my rage towards him take hold for a moment as I pummeled him into the ground.

He collapsed but stood quickly, dodging my next blow.

The tricky thing is yesterday we were just…children playing soldiers, just pretending. Dreaming dreams with happy endings.

We sparred for a while, landing a few good punches on each other.

In backyards, winning battles with the wooden swords. But now we've stepped into a cruel world where everybody stands in, keep score.

Kowalski stood from my last assault, blood trickled from his beak. Was I starting to feel bad for this bastard? I didn't have time to think about it as in the distance, in the trees something came hurdling through the air…flying so fast. Was I the only one seeing this…or was I just imagining it?

My eyes wide in obvious fear I screamed as loud as possible "GRENADE!" before I shot forward like a rocket, grabbing Kowalski and shielding him from the explosion that followed.

Keep your eyes open.

The heat and flames scorched my back as our camp erupted into utter chaos. I heard faintly, Skippers voice in the background. My ear holes were ringing and Kowalski was notably shaking from my protective hold. Huh. I guess I did care for him.

Blinking away dizziness I dragged his stunned body to the side of a building. My back stung from pain but I barely noticed. I dropped Kowalski's body, he still looked as if he were a deer in headlights…this wasn't going to fly.

I slapped him hard.

He came too and finally focused. His eyes reflected gratitude as I spoke roughly.

"We need to get our guns. Ya think you can make it?"

"Yes…but our cabin's on the other side of camp."

This prevented one hell of a problem.

"Well then we're just going to have to make a run for it." I said while pulling him to his feet.

We peered out from the side of the building and met the faces of enemy penguins in dark blue uniforms.

I suddenly shouted "Come on! We can make it!"

Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown.

Grabbing Kowalski's flipper I pulled him into the fray where we dodged bullets and numerous grenades.

Everybody's watching to see the fallout.

My head swerved right, towards the infirmary. I couldn't help but laugh. A heavily bandaged, hobbling Rico had a handgun in his one working flipper and was firing at the enemies; knocking them down one by one. Nurses were trying to pull him to safety but he shook them off. Not even broken bones or a nearly cracked skull could keep him away from the sounds of battle…what a badass.

Even when you're sleeping, sleeping. Keep your eye-eyes open.

We reached our cabin, flying inside we grabbed our army green helmets and rifles. Now we were prepared for the ambush. I turned to face Kowalski. He had the necklace his girlfriend gave him wrapped tightly in his flippers. I watched as he delicately kissed the picture of her, eyes closed with a few silent tears streaming down his face. He remained this way for a few precious seconds before closing the picture of Doris and looking up at me expectedly.

"Cover me!" I yelled, running back out into the mists of war and red coating our camp.

Keep your eye-eyes open.

I shot a few blue soldiers, dodging their bullets.

Keep your eye-eyes open.

I felt Kowalski's presence from behind as I moved forward.

So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard.

Every lesson forms a new scar, they never thought you'd make it this far…

The sounds of war rang throughout my entire body. My hearing had improved, thank God. Kowalski and I stood side by side covering each other's flanks and moving deeper into the mass of fighting soldiers.

Good and bad.

"GRENADE!" Someone screamed close by. I turned just in time to see the thing flying through the air…aimed for Skipper…my leader…my friend.

But turn around oh, they surrounded you, it's a showdown and nobody comes to save you now.

I gritted my beak, propelling ahead. I shoved the unsuspecting Skipper over and leaped into the air. Kicking the grenade away I pushed forward, my lower body landing on top of it…I knew I had a few seconds before it would blow.

But you got something they don't, yeah, you got something they don't.

I looked ahead to see Kowalski's terrified face…before the grenade blew.

You just gotta keep your eyes open.

I didn't feel anything as I sailed through the air, hitting the ground next to a cabin. I coughed, feeling warm blood spray out my mouth. My hearing was almost completely gone again and my vision wasn't any better.

Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown.

I tried first moving my flippers…alright good so far. Except when I raised my left flipper it completely locked…I was unable to move it any more. Now my legs…oh God; I was either paralyzed or my legs were gone…probably both.

Feeling a presence to my right I weakly turned my head. Kowalski's fearful expression said it all.

Everybody's watching to see the fallout.

"It's bad…isn't it." I whispered, feeling more blood surface.

Kowalski looked down and…actually threw up right next to me. "Gross…" my whisper was waning into a hoarse noise, unrecognizable.

He kneeled by my side, crying like a damn baby. I couldn't take it. Using my good flipper I raised my body only to fall back in shock at what I had just seen. Holy shit…

Losing my legs sounded like a day at the damn beach.

I felt steamy tears slide down my face, washing away the crimson that had collected in the last couple of minutes. "How the hell am I still alive?" I croaked.

Even when you're sleeping, sleeping keep your eye-eyes open.

Kowalski shook his head, unable to speak.

Keep your eye-eyes open.

"Kowalski." I said, feeling my heart beat slower, my breathing soften…I was slipping away.

Keep your eye-eyes…

He looked at me, tears glistening his eyes.

Keep your feet ready, heartbeat steady, keep your eyes open.

With all my energy I grabbed his flipper and held it up.

Keep your aim locked.

"I love you…You're my brother in arms and you always will be." I stated as clear as I could, feeling my life drain away.

The night grows dark.

"Manfredi, I-I'm so sorry…can you forgive me for…for everything?"

I nodded weakly, feeling strangely warm…I was preparing to leave.

"You never did anything wrong." I replied with as much strength as I could bear.

I couldn't help but release a gurgling chuckle as my eyes met his.

Kowalski's confusion turned to a spark of laughter as I said…

"…Kowalski…I DO have a journal."

Keep your eyes open!

My last breath escaped me, releasing me from my own prison.

Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown.

Kowalski's mournful sobbing were the last things I heard.

Everybody's watching to see the fallout.

Life slipped away as a blinding white light took hold, caressing me in its gentle pull.

Even when you're sleeping, sleeping. Keep your eye-eyes open.

(Keep your eye- eyes open)

It was beautiful, feeling and seeing my life evaporate from the living.

Keep your eye-eyes open.

(Keep your eye- eyes open)

I was free.

Keep your eye-eyes open…

A/N: Please review! :)

I apologize if Kowalski seemed a bit ooc.

I'm thinking of making a sequel to this on how Johnson dies...