4A Lonely Day on the Rooftops
The Depressing Third Chapter
By MintyAlfalfa
This chapter is very depressing...
Altair rode home to find that... his home was on FIRE!
Everything, the whole town, on FIRE!
His best friends, Malik and al-Mualim, on FIRE!
"Oh, no! My dear and true friends! What infidel devil has done this! Do not fear, I will certainly avenge you!"
"Actually, Altair, we aren't quite dead yet," the two said in unison.
"Well... I will avenge you for your mortal injury!"
"Actually, we could probably go on. We feel quite alright."
"Well... um... I'll avenge you for this non-fatal injury, then! Never fear!"
"That's the second time you said that, Altair," al-Mualim said alone this time. As his mentor, he felt compelled to correct him on such matters.
"Oh. Well then. I feel quite foolish."
"As you should."
"I'll just be avenging you, then."
"Don't let us hold you," Malik chimed in.
"Mm-hmm."
Thus Altair left that awkward situation to put out the fire and find the infidel devils who started it. While he was riding aimlessly around the wilderness between towns, hoping for some Templars to appear, he managed to grasp the full gravity of his situation.
He slowed down a little. Then he slowed down some more. And a little more. And then he came to a compete stop, much to the awe of the villagers who were used to him galloping at full speed and running over some of them whenever he came by.
He realized that his home was being burned down, and that he would never see all the... actually, most of everything was made of stone in Masyaf, and he wouldn't miss much, except for maybe some paintings and some maps and records. So there was a loss of information, which would put everything in disarray for a little while, but he wouldn't really lose anything of sentimental value...
Except for all his love letters to his European girlfriend! He began to bawl, and then he got run over by a passing Templar, which caused him to fall off his horse, but he hardly noticed, because he was so entrapped in his own despair.
And thus the mighty Assassin was felled by some burnt love letters in Arabic.
End of the Holy and Depressing Chapter Third!