A Jane & Lisbon Story
By Brown Eyes Parker
Lisbon insists that she doesn't have feelings for Jane, but will a date auction and a "rival" prove her wrong? Inspired (but not based on) by the "Full House" episode "A Little Romance".
I don't own. But you already knew that.
"A date auction should be fun," Teresa Lisbon's sister-in-law, Violet said.
"Fun for who?" Lisbon asked. "All those poor men, who can't get real dates? Or all the poor women, who actually have to shell out money to have one date with a loser?"
"So cynical," Violet tisked. "Come on, all the men at the CBI can't be losers."
"Oh, but they are!" Lisbon insisted.
"What about Kimball Cho?"
"He's taken. His girlfriend is coming to the date auction to bid on him," Lisbon answered. "Besides. . . I could never date Cho. Even if it is for charity. It would be like dating Tommy."
"Okay then. . . what about Patrick Jane?" Violet asked. "He's a fine piece of manhood."
"No way! That would be like going to the prom with your male best friend—"
"Hey! Watch it!" Violet said. "I married my best friend from high school, and he took me to prom. Remember?"
"Well, besides it being like going on a date with your best friend, he would never go with me. He's still in love with his wife."
"But he's participating in the date auction!" Violet said. "That has to mean something."
"It means that Jane is a show-off. He just wants to see how much money a woman would bid on him. And then, he'll think of an elaborate way to get out of it."
Violet gave her a goofy smile. "Admit it. . . you like him."
"What is that anyways?" Lisbon asked. "Did I ever say that I liked him as more than a friend?"
"I don't know Teresa. . . I think tonight you'll be one of the women clamoring to go on a date with him."
"No way!" Lisbon insisted.
"I'd bet you on that, but you're going to need some money to pay your bills at the end of the month," Violet replied.
"So smart, so smart." Lisbon shook her eyes and rolled her eyes.
"And now for our second to last bachelor. . . Patrick Jane!" The perky brunette from a local high school chirped.
I'm not going to bid on him, I'm not going to bid on him. . . Lisbon thought mentally. She didn't care if that meant leaving dateless.
"Patrick is a consultant at the CBI, his pastimes include romantic candlelight dinners, long walks on the beach, and slow dancing to your favorite song. Let's start the bidding at two-hundred. . . do I hear two-hundred?"
"Two-hundred-and-five!" Madeline Hightower called out.
"Two-hundred-five! I have two-oh-five, do I have two-oh-six?"
"Two-hundred-and-ten!" Lisbon shouted before she could stop herself. She slapped her hand over her mouth.
"Two-oh-ten!" the girl said gleefully. "Wow!"
The girl as way too perky for Lisbon's taste.
"Do I have two-fifteen?"
"Two-twenty," Hightower said.
"I hear two-twenty! Do I have two-twenty-one?" The girl asked.
"Okay! Two-twenty going once. . . going twice—"
"Two-twenty-five!" Lisbon yelled frantically.
"Two-twenty-five!" She chirped. "Is that all this beautiful man is worth?"
"I bid three-hundred," Hightower said, throwing Lisbon a look.
"Three-fifteen going once—"
"Three-twenty!" Hightower bid.
Lisbon didn't know what hit her, but she didn't want to see Hightower (or anybody else for that matter) go out with Jane. She was just glad that Kristina Frye wasn't there.
"Tree-twenty going once," the girl began for a third time. "Going—"
"One-thousand!" Lisbon shouted.
"One-thousand-two-hundred!" Hightower shot back.
Hightower shrugged. "I'm done."
"Okay then! One-thousand-five-hundred going once. . . going twice, sold to Agent Lisbon for one-thousand-five-hundred dollars!"
Cho and Rigsby chuckled.
"I knew she wanted him," Rigsby whispered.
"Shut up man," Cho replied, his laughter fading in the back of his throat.
Jane jumped down from the stage and joined them. "Hey guys. Elise. . . Lisbon – or is it Teresa now?"
Lisbon glared at him. "You planned all of this, didn't you?"
"I honestly don't know what you're talking about," Jane replied.
"Should we leave them alone?" Elise asked Cho.
"No, no. . . it's okay," Cho answered. "Boss. . . Jane. . . I'm the one who planned this whole thing. Hightower helped."
"Of course," Jane said.
"But why would you do that?" Lisbon asked.
Cho shrugged. "Because if I didn't, you and Jane would have never. . ."
"Gone on a date?" Jane finished for him.
"Right," Cho answered, laughing a little bit. "Come on Elise. . . I made reservations tonight for the Firehouse."
"Okay," Elise replied with a smile. "Good night Teresa, Patrick . . . have a lovely evening."
"You too Elise," Lisbon said. "I hear the Firehouse is really nice."
The auction was still going on with the perky brunette trying to auction off LaRouche.
Lisbon didn't even look at Jane as she stalked out of the ballroom.
"Lisbon!" Jane called, starting to follow her.
"Hold on Romeo," Hightower said, catching up with him. "I'll talk to her first. . .okay?"
Jane sighed. "Fine."
"Would it help any if I apologized?" Hightower asked. "For lying I mean."
"No. . . but I do it all the time, so I guess it justifies your actions."
Hightower smirked. "I'm going to talk to Teresa. I'll call you if everything works out."
"Teresa?" Hightower called walking out of the hotel and onto the front terrace. "Agent Lisbon?"
"I'm over here!" Lisbon replied waving her over to the table that she was sitting at.
"Drinking?" Hightower asked.
"Just iced coffee," Lisbon answered. "Do you want to sit down?"
"Yes, thank you. . ."
"So. . . me and Jane?"
"Yes, you and Jane," Hightower said, her lips twitching. "Honestly, I don't understand why it hasn't happened yet. It's clear you two care a great deal about each other."
"Caring. . . it doesn't particularly lead to anything, you know?" Lisbon replied. "I care about my brothers, but I wouldn't want to be romantically involved with one of them."
"You care about him on a deeper level though," Hightower argued. "Come on, you know you do."
"I know I was jealous. . . that I couldn't stand the thought of Jane going out with you, or anybody else. That doesn't mean that I love him though—"
"Mmmh. . . yeah, I'm sorry that I had to make you jealous," Hightower said. "But we figured it was the only effective way to wake you up to what's always been there."
The waiter delivered Lisbon's drink, and while she unwrapped her straw, she said, "Jane has asked me out. . . every single week since we caught Red John. And every single week, I've told him no. I've told him that I like being alone, that I don't want anything to get in the way of my career. . . and that I like just being friends.
"But truthfully, I'm scared to death of getting hurt."
Hightower looked surprised that Lisbon had opened up to her so much. "Listen. . . love is a leap of faith. Don't you want to take that leap?"
"Of course. . . who else would you take that leap of faith and love with?" Hightower answered.
"And I never thought that I would bid over a thousand dollars just for a guy," Lisbon said, but mostly to herself. "I especially never thought that guy would be Patrick Jane."
"Yeah, when Mimi has boy trouble, I won't be sending her to you for advice," Hightower teased.
"Is Jane still here?"
"He's around here somewhere. . . waiting for you, I suppose."
"I'm going to go and find him," Lisbon said, standing.
"Good luck!" Hightower called, not bothering to call Jane. She had already done enough. She reached for Lisbon's drink and sighed contentedly.
"Jane!" Lisbon called, rushing into the lobby and looking around for him frantically. She prayed that he hadn't already left. "Jane?"
"I'm right here!" Jane said, standing up and coming out from behind a large, potted plant. "I understand. . . you want to cancel our date. Your career is really important, and you just want to be friends."
"No. . ." Lisbon answered. "They were all right. Violet, Hightower, Cho. . . I-I-I like you as more than a friend. I was insanely jealous when I thought I would lose you to Hightower."
"For a second there. . . when I was onstage, I was afraid that you weren't going to bid on me. I had no idea what Madeline and Cho had planned. . . but I hoped that you would come to your senses—"
"Oh, just kiss me now and then take me to dinner!"
"I didn't make reservations at the Firehouse," Jane told her.
"I don't care. . . I'll just be happy to be with you." She smiled at him.
"Okay," Jane said, coming to her, and swooping he up into his arms so he could kiss her like she desired.
Lisbon pulled away from him for a second. "Oh. . . and remind me to call my sister-in-law when I get home."
"Okay," Jane answered, not even bothering to figure out why she had made such a request. For once, getting into her mind didn't matter. All that mattered was him and her, and the fact that because of a (stupid) date auction, they were finally together. And he couldn't have been happier.
Just a few quick notes, this was written pre-Summer. It was also written pre-Tommy and Annie, so that's why Tommy's married in this story and there's no mention of our favorite niece. I just decided to post this because I was going through my old files and I thought that we could all use a little light-heartedness with everything that's been going down on the Mentalist.
Feedback is appreciated, so if you feel like it, you can leave a review. Just remember, if you have to criticize. . . let it be constructive, I don't like flames otherwise. . . I don't care if you don't like my story, I just don't want to hear about it.
One more thing, don't expect a lot of angst from me this summer. Except for one story that might not be ready until September or October, I decided to be the girl who posts happy stuff. Somebody has to do it, and I think I should be the one. . . because if I don't, then who will?
(This story was written 2/10/2011)