We retraced our steps back home. I was contemplating whether to ask him all of the unanswered questions that I have. Would I offend him by not waiting for him to open up to me? I will wait until he tells me about it. As we walked through the town people were looking at us but I didn't know why.
"Are you okay young man?" a random woman stopped us and asked. Cody was still crying, what Alli said must have really hurt him. Can people seriously stop with reminding him of what he used to do, it's tearing him apart.
"Yes. I'm fine" was all he said wiping his face. "Thank you for asking."
He walked away. The woman was surprised and looked at me. "I'm sorry he's not okay. There's something that happened between him and his family and he hasn't quite gotten over it yet."
"Oh Honey tell him I'm sorry. "She said with sympathy, "I didn't mean to get into his business or yours."
"Its okay" I said then bolted in the direction that Cody had went off, I couldn't see him anywhere. Where did he go? I seen a familiar sea blue guitar case bobbing through the crowd and ran at it.
"Cody, I'm sorry I can't hold it in any longer. What was that back there? Do you care to explain?" I said so quick I didn't expect him to understand anything. He stayed quiet and carried on weaving his way through the people.
"What is 'Going Whitey'?" I asked.
"It's when you get so high that you pass out, your body can't handle it so it makes your body go to sleep for a little while until all the toxins leave your system." He said quietly. So you been high, did you not think to tell me that.
"What was Alli talking about when she said that you 'bring skanks' back to your house so you could 'fuck them'?" My voice started rising with every new syllable. He thought about my question for a minute.
"That's what Alli thinks I did. Yeah I brought some girls home but..." was he going to say it? "I'm still a virgin. We only fool around and I'm not ready to go that far yet. Whether I'm drunk, high or sober."
Do I believe him? Would he just say stuff that he thinks will shut me up and not ask anymore questions. Like Alli said, if she can't trust him then how can I?
"You don't trust me now do you? I can see the cogs turning in your head trying to work it all out" a lot of emotions ran through me all at once. Hate, distrust, frustration, anger, love and wanting to do something to protect him from everything that's happening to him. But why should I do that? He hasn't trusted me with everything like he said he did.
I made a sound of disgust in the back of my throat and began to start walking faster trying to get away from him. Right now I didn't want to be near him. I don't understand I thought that he had told me everything because I really wouldn't have minded if he had told me straight instead of me finding out through his sister.
"Toni" He shouted and ran to keep up with me. I turned in the opposite direction and kept walking. "Toni! Wait! The only reason I didn't tell you that everything had gotten that bad because I knew something like this would happen. You'd be disgusted with me and I was right."
I stopped walking. Did he seriously think that? After everything I told him. "I'm not annoyed because you did all that stuff. Quite frankly I couldn't care less. What I'm annoyed about is the fact that you didn't trust me enough to tell me. I've told you over and over that I'm here for you and that I will never leave you."
He looked at his feet, I hope that he realises what he has done wrong. I turned around and stalked off but the time he didn't follow me. Good, I have no desire to see him right now I just need time to cool off.
It had started raining but I didn't even notice. I found myself sitting on a swing at the park just wanting to rest for a while. I didn't have a jacket or anything tick on so I started shivering and was soaked to the bone. While walking home I decided about what I was going to say to Cody
I opened the door and was surprised to see my mum making dinner, was she not supposed to be at work?
"Hey mum, where's Cody?" I asked.
"Oh I thought he was with you..." she said looking around to see my soaked attire. "Toni, what happened?" she rushed over to me and caressed my shoulders.
"We got into a fight mum and I walked off, I don't know where he is" I panicked fighting back tears. I walked off on him about two hours ago and didn't go immediately home. Shouldn't he be here by now?
"Shush calm down. He can't have gotten far. Go grab your coat and we'll go look for him." She calmed me. Cody where are you?