158TITLE: Just Lonely Chapter 1
PAIRINGS:
Pezberry (Santana/Rachel)
But a bit of Brittana and some Finchel a bit later
RATING: M
A/N: I sorta wrote this for Pezberry week- Day 7 (free day)- Intoxication- but it kinda became more than just the original one shot I was planning and thus took longer to write than I expected, also my laptop was playing up so that held me up too
This happens six months after Rachel and Santana graduate from McKinley
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SYNOPSIS: Rachel gets drunk and tells Santana something she maybe shouldn't have.
Santana thought living with Rachel Berry would be a nightmare, but when she moved to New York to start at NYU she didn't have much choice than to get a roommate. Rachel offered her services right away, she was lonely after her breakup with Finn and it didn't help the fact Kurt stayed in Ohio after not getting into NYADA. Rachel was lonely she just wanted someone. So when she found out Santana Lopez was moving to New York to go to college there she asked the Latina to move in with her and they could split the rent. Santana was lonely too after leaving Brittany behind, they were very much together still but it was hard, they'd never been away from each other for that long and it took some adjusting
Santana wanted someone to hang with, but she sure as hell didn't have Berry at the top of her list. Her home girl Quinn went to Yale and her fellow Troubletone Mercedes was living it up somewhere in California, and her girlfriend was redoing her final year at McKinley. Sure she and Rachel had grown to have some sort of friendship just before graduating but still she wasn't overjoyed at the thought of having a roommate that would keep her awake half the night practicing her singing, or filling the refrigerator with a bunch of strange vegan type foods that she herself had never even heard of but after spending a good amount of her summer looking for an apartment not too far from her college and something she could afford with the money her parents had given her, she just couldn't find anything
So in the end she decided to reluctantly take up Rachel's offer and she moved in with the one girl she never thought she'd even remain friends with after leaving McKinley, and if she were honest it actually wasn't half bad rooming with the most diva-esque girl she'd ever met. They became closer still and went out when they could, they'd watched movies together, and Santana made Rachel loosen up a bit whereas Rachel kept Santana grounded when Brittany wasn't around to do it for her
The girls quickly became very good friends and Santana found herself kinda liking the idea that she lived with Rachel, and Santana missed Brittany like hell but she was actually kinda proud to call Rachel Berry a friend of hers and Rachel was more than ecstatic to write Santana's name on that creepy little spread sheet she had a list of her current friends on that she kept on her computer- and these were the only reasons Santana and Rachel could think of as the explanation for what happened next between them. For what they agreed upon.
Santana was on her way home; she'd had a pretty busy day at college then had to work a shift at the small coffee shop she had a part-time job in. Rachel had had some audition today, she knew this because the little diva would not shut up about it, she kept going on for weeks about it, about how it would be the perfect job if she were to get it, and it was something she'd always wanted to do since she was like three or something, Santana tried not to pay attention cause it just started to get a bit boring, but she knew Rachel was excited about it and so she did hope that the girl would get it. It did seem odd that Rachel hadn't phone or texted her to brag about getting the part, her audition was at 2pm and it was now 8pm and she'd had nothing.
Santana pulled her keys out from her pocket, her body ached from the working and studying she'd done though out the day, all she wanted to do was to eat, collapse on her bed, phone Brittany and sleep. She opened the door to her shared apartment and dropped her stuff down with a relieved sigh. Rubbing at where her college bag had been digging into her shoulder for most of the day.
"Berry you home?" Santana shouted, she didn't put it past the girl to come running towards her as soon as she put her key in the lock and dive on her excitedly to tell her all about her triumphant audition, but that didn't happen and even that surprised Santana. They'd been officially living together for a whole six months and Santana had started to recognize a lot of Rachel's quirks and habits and greeting her like an old married couple when she came in the door was one of them.
"Rach?" Santana called again as she headed towards the kitchen, she needed food and she needed it now so she headed towards the fridge, half full with a bunch of junk food (Santana's) and some vegan crap she didn't question, took up the other half (Rachel's of course), she took out a half-eaten box of Chinese that she had ordered the night before and opened it up. She always loved Chinese food better when it was cold than hot, after all Chinese food is made to be eaten cold the next day, that's her motto, Rachel on the other hand ordered some kind of vegan friendly vegetables rolls that in Santana's mind didn't look good either hot or cold.
She prodded around the noodles in the box before pulling out a fork, it didn't take long before the box was completely empty and the hole in her stomach was semi full. Santana put the fork in the sink and threw out the old box. Then she made her way towards the living room to see if Rachel was in there.
When she got to the living room the lights were off, she clicked the switch and found Rachel laying on the couch. "Hey Rach, you alright?" she asked. Rachel had her back to her but rolled over upon hearing her roommate's voice.
"Oh hey San San" Rachel replied and it didn't take long for Santana to realise Rachel was indeed intoxicated. Pretty badly if she knew her drunks. Santana could see the bottle in her hand, along with several other alcoholic drink cans and bottles around the couch
"Jesus Rach" Santana muttered to herself, it was clear Rachel had been drinking since getting back from her audition judging by the amount she had consumed, it was funny cause Santana hadn't really seen Rachel drink too many times and she'd always been trying to get her to knock a few back when they went out. Something about always needing to be in control of the situation kept stopping her, but this was just crazy, even Santana had never had so much in a single night
She stepped over a few of the bottles along the floor until she was next to the couch. Rachel sat up to greet her. "Rachel what the hell happened, why are you drunk right now?" Santana asked still a little in disbelief of what she was actually seeing.
"I screwed it up San" Rachel replied her voice shaky and there was already tears streaming down her face, she almost dropped her latest bottle so Santana took it off her. "That's mine" Rachel groaned falling back into a laying position. Santana took a seat next to her.
"I think you've had enough Rach don't you think? Now what are you talking about, you screwed what up?" Santana placed the bottle down on the cabinet next to her, making sure it was out of Rachel's reach and view for that matter.
"I didn't get the part, I messed up my lines" Rachel responded, wiping at her face with her sleeve, smudging her makeup even more than she already had.
"Oh I'm sorry Rachel, I know you really wanted that part, but there'll be others, you're still young and there's plenty of opportunities for you out there" Santana tried to encourage the girl, she placed a hand on Rachel's knee and slowly rubbed circles upon it.
"Thank you for trying to cheer me up Santana but it's now working" Rachel's eyes were shut, and her face rather flushed
"No it appears that's what this is for" Santana whispered to herself whilst looking around at all the empty bottles "Maybe we should get you to bed" she suggested
"I wanna sleep here" Rachel stubbornly rolled onto her side
"You can't sleep here Rachel, you'll get a bad back, and you still have class tomorrow" Santana knew Rachel would never drink if she had a class the next day, she must have really wanted that part in the play. "Come on Rach" she tugged at the girls arm but it was soon apparent Rachel had no intention of moving anytime soon "Don't make me carry you, cause I will" Santana warned, but still gained no movement from the diva "Help me god" Santana said quietly as she got up off the couch and scoped Rachel up.
She couldn't believe she was actually doing this, she was carrying Rachel Berry like a baby, she was just lucky Rachel was small and light or it would be her with the bad back in the morning "Put me down" she squirmed in the Latina's arms as they got closer to Rachel's bedroom.
"Rach stop moving I'm gonna drop you" but Rachel kept on wriggling like a worm, then she actually began to punch at Santana's chest "Fucking hell Berry would you quit being such a diva!" Santana kicked open Rachel's door and dropped her on the bed
"Look I know you really, really wanted that part ok but you screwed it up, that's life, we can't always get what we want, but it's not the end of the world, you still have all the time in life to go for other auditions and you'll get a part when the time is right" Santana looked down at the girl who was now sitting on her bed
"You're mean" Rachel fell flat on her back and there was something about the way she did it and the tone she used, almost childlike, that just reminded Santana of Brittany. The Latina had to shake her head a few times to remember what she was meant to be doing.
Santana got onto the bed to help Rachel take her clothes off "Come on Rach, let's get you out of these" Santana said tugging lightly on Rachel's jeans but Rachel made it clear she wasn't about to offer any assistance. Santana felt kinda odd having to undress Rachel so she could be comfortable and fall asleep in her own bed, but it wasn't as if she was going to get Rachel naked. It was just a friend helping out another friend.
She undid Rachel's pants and with some difficulty managed to get them off the lifeless body they were on, "You could help you know Rachel" Santana said but received no reply just a grunt. Santana then moved on to Rachel's shirt, which seemed to prove more of a challenge as getting it over Rachel's head wasn't as easy as she thought. She tugged and tugged but Rachel just kept squirming and fighting her. "Rach come on quit being a bitch and just let me get this off for you" Santana yanked one last time and finally the shirt was off.
Santana couldn't help but notice Rachel actually had a pretty hot body, call it the lesbian in her but she couldn't seem to stop staring. The diva was now in nothing but her lacy bra and panties and it wasn't a surprise it was turning Santana on, she hadn't seen Brittany for a few weeks and therefore hadn't had sex for a few weeks, and even then they only had a couple of days with each other at a time, so it honestly didn't take a lot to turn her on right now.
"Stop staring its rude" broke Santana out of her daydream; she looked at Rachel who was looking back at her with droopy eyelids and a lazy smile
"Shut up and get into bed" Santana playfully growled as she placed Rachel's clothes on a chair in her room. She watched as Rachel got up and crawled under her covers on all fours, before collapsing in her bed. "I'll come check on you in a bit" Santana smiled and she walked towards the door and switched her light off.
Santana made her way back to the living room to the mess Rachel had made. She huffed as she bent down to pick up the several empty bottles. She noticed they were a cheap brand so hoped Rachel wouldn't feel it as much in the morning. She went to the kitchen with all the bottles and disposed of them in the trash can. "The things I do for you Berry" Santana muttered. Then she grabbed a clean glass, filled it with fresh tap water and got some painkillers.
She stepped back into Rachel's room and switched on her bedside light. Santana placed the water and pills down on the side so they'd be ready for Rachel in the morning. "Hey" Rachel whispered
"I thought you were asleep" Santana sat on the bed, looking at the small face peaked out from under the covers. "I got you some water and some pills" Santana said quietly with a gentle smile
Rachel sat up clumsily "You're really sweet. Thank you Santana" she smiled back. She held out her arms to initiate a hug, something Santana usually wouldn't do with Rachel but under the circumstances and the fact Rachel hopefully wouldn't remember the embrace in the morning she decided to accept her offer and she leaned over and the girls hugged "I want you Santana" Rachel whispered into her ear
"You want me to do what Rach" Santana chuckled a little
"No I mean, I want you" Santana pulled back stunned by the confession, Rachel just looked…well like Rachel
"Rachel you're drunk, you don't know what you're saying now just have some water and try to get some rest" Santana felt a little uncomfortable now, shifting on the bed slightly
Rachel didn't respond to Santana's explanation, instead she learnt in again and captured the Latina's lips with her own. Santana didn't want to kiss back but she couldn't stop herself either, but then she remembered she had a girlfriend, a girlfriend she loved, not one she was willing to cheat on. "Rachel stop" Santana demanded as she pushed the diva back
"I've wanted you for a few months now" Rachel admitted
"No Rachel your just drunk, this isn't real, your feelings are all over the place right now. Just get some sleep, I need to go" Santana stood up abruptly and made her way out of the room and was sure to close the door behind her.
Did that really just happen, did Rachel Berry really just confess that she wanted Santana, wanted her for what? No she was drunk that wasn't right. She just needed to forget it, speaking of forget, she was meant to call Britt when she got in.
Santana went to her room and locked her own door behind her, she didn't really know why but she had a funny feeling if she didn't she might wake up in the middle of the night with Rachel standing over her like some sort of obsessive horror film, she doesn't know where her mind comes up with this stuff, plus she didn't really want Rachel walking in her room when she was speaking to Brittany.
She kicked off her shoes and flopped down on her queen sized bed, pulling her phone from her pocket. She soon dialled up her most used number and lay back on the bed as she waited for her girlfriend to answer.
"Hey San" Brittany's voice came through
"Hey baby, sorry I forgot to phone you when I got home, I had a bit of a problem" Santana explained
"Oh that's ok, are you alright?" Britt asked in a worried tone
"Oh yeah I'm fine, it was Rachel, she had that audition she had been jabbing on about all month today and she messed it up" Santana said
"Oh no, is she ok?" Britt grew more worried
"Yeah she's alright. She just got a bit drunk that's all and she's a bit out of it, but I put her to bed, hopefully she'll be fine in the morning, just with a bit of a headache" Santana chuckled
"Are you ok? You sound a bit freaked out"
"No, I'm...yeah I'm ok just Rachel…she was a bit you know, just upset"
Brittany laughed along but was still concerned about her friend "Tell her I said sorry"
"Course, so how was school today?" Santana quickly changed the subject
"Crap, it's never the same without you, Sue's up our butt over the new routine and Mr Schue's got us practicing overtime for regionals" Britt sighed "I really miss you"
"Aw baby, I miss you too and you sound shattered"
"I am, but what about you how was collage and work" Britt asked curiously
"Work sucked, but college was pretty cool today. Got a bunch of studying I have to do over the next few weeks though, I'm glad I'm seeing you soon" Santana smiled to herself, she and Brittany had plans to get together during the week break they had coming up. It was the first time Brittany was coming to see Santana in New York and they both honestly couldn't wait.
"I know me too, though I was kinda hoping we could have some fun in the meantime" Britt said using that seductive tone she knew made Santana wet
"Hmm I'd love to Britt, what was it you had in mind exactly" Santana teased, not like they hadn't done this a hundred and one times since Santana left for New York but it was always fun to have a bit of banter beforehand.
"Is your laptop free?"
"Yeah, why?" Santana asked despite the fact she knew exactly where this was going
"I'm online" Britt giggled a little
"Ok I'm gonna hang up, I'll just get it" Santana put the phone down and placed it on the side by her bed
She got off her bed and walked over to her desk where she found her laptop and a pair of underwear that was covering it; she tossed the pants to the side and picked up her computer. Sitting back on her bed and sliding back to the headboard she opened the laptop, it instantly came on her desktop and she didn't hesitate to sign into her messenger.
She saw Britt's name and before she could even do anything else she received a video call from the blond. She smirked and accepted the call with no delay, her mouth dropping open with what she saw. The blond sat in her room. On her bed. Completely and utterly…naked.
"Holy shit Britt, I hope your mom isn't home" Santana laughed
"No she's out, and why are you still dressed Santana?" Britt pouted
Santana didn't reply she just positioned her laptop in front of her on the bed making sure the camera was still filming her, and then she stripped off her shirt and threw it somewhere.
"Take of your bra baby" Brittany ordered
Santana smiled, she loved it when Britt was like this, and it turned her on more than anything to hear her girlfriend speak like that. She reached around and unclasped her bra enjoying the air brush her naked breasts as she pulled it away from her body and tossed it out of the way.
"I love your tits San, now take your pants and panties off" Britt asked focused on nothing but her screen.
Santana didn't argue she lifted her hips and tore her pants off, she heard Brittany giggled on her screen and she guessed from Britt's view it was probably rather funny looking but she didn't care she was horny and she wanted to cyber with her girlfriend right now. She kicked her offending pants off and then started on her panties, flinging them off in some direction or another.
Once she was fully naked she sat up on her bed and placed the laptop between her legs "This good for you baby?" Santana grinned
"Perfect San, you're wet already" Britt noted
"I know baby, I've been thinking about this all day"
"Me too, I could barely concentrate at school just cause I was thinking about you. I wish we were together properly" Britt's voice saddened
"Same babe, but you still look fucking hot" Santana commented
"Touch your boobs San, please I don't wanna wait anymore, I want you" Britt pleaded, getting her smile back
"Ok babe" Santana smiled back, letting her fingers drift up her body until she found a nipple, she rolled it between her fingers until it had peaked "You too Britt Britt" Santana watched as Brittany mirrored her movements, letting her touch caress across her chest.
"Hmm Santana you look so hot right now" Britt moaned
"God you have no idea how gorgeous you look right now baby, I wanna touch you so bad"
"San touch yourself baby" Brittany's hand was already heading south and it only sped up Santana's movements
Santana moved her hand between her legs, she teased a little before dipping in "Rub your clit babe" Santana said as she watched Brittany's hand run back and forth between her folds.
"God San I'm so wet, how wet are you?" Britt bit her bottom lip
"Soaking babe" Santana replied as her fingers brushed a crossed her own hard nub
"Oh Santana this feels so good" Britt moaned loudly, as she rubbed at herself "Talk to me Sanny"
"Fuck Britt I'm so sensitive right now" Santana kept toying with her clit "Put your fingers inside yourself" Santana directed and watched on as the blond slipped two fingers easily inside her glistening pussy
"Oh San, I wish this was your fingers" Britt gasped
"Me too baby, fuck yourself" Santana said as she kept rubbing at her now painfully hard clit
Brittany fucked herself with two fingers in a steady rhythm, getting wetter as she watched her girlfriend on her screen rub fast between her own legs. "Santana…so close baby" Britt bit harder on her lip
"Keep going Britt, lets come together" Santana sped up for the last time, flicking her sensitive bundle of nerves wanting to finish at the same time as her girlfriend. She felt herself on the edge and knew it would only take a few more flicks "Britt Britt, I'm about to come" she panted trying to keep her voice as low as possible, she knew Rachel would most likely be out cold right now but she didn't want to risk the girl hearing just in case she was awake.
"I'm coming too, Sanny" Britt growled on screen, she arched her back and threw her head back and the image only made Santana come harder.
"Jesus Brittany, fuck…shit" Santana whole body tensed as she came, her touching transitioning from, vigorous strokes to gentle slow caresses as she felt her clit pulse and soften against her soaking fingers. "My god Britt baby that was so good" she panted
"Hell yeah San" Britt replied, as she too came down from her orgasm, sluggishly slipping her fingers out of herself.
"I wish I could taste you right now baby" Santana confessed as she watched Brittany wipe her come on her thigh, absentmindedly licking her lips
"You can soon babe" Britt promised
"I know, just I wanna be pressed up against you, kissing you, touching you, fucking you so good" Santana's breath finally becoming more stable
"San stop, your getting me wet again" Britt giggled lazily.
"Sorry babe" Santana smiled
Britt smiled back then brought her laptop closer "I'm tired, so I'm probably gonna go now" she said regretfully
"Ok baby, talk to ya later?"
"You best" the blond threatened playfully "Night San, I love you" Brittany leaned in and kissed her camera, it didn't taste as good as Santana did but she knew it was the closes thing she would get right now to kiss her girlfriend
Santana kissed back "Night Britt, love you too" she gave a half smile.
Brittany ended the video call and Santana touched her screen as it went black, she missed seeing Britt already, hearing her voice as they talked but what got her through was the fact she knew it wouldn't be forever. She signed out of her messenger and closed the lid to her laptop; she got up and walked back over to her desk where she placed the computer back down.
She went towards her dresser and pulled out the top drawer, getting out her clean pyjama pants, and a sleeping shirt. She quickly dressed into the comfy clothes and although it was still a little early for her liking she was too tired to stay awake after such a long busy day, so she crept into bed and soon fell asleep exhausted and spent.
Santana woke up when her alarm went off, she groaned before rolling over and idly reaching for it, she took several swipes at it but she missed it each time in her half-conscious state so she cracked one eye open to help out. She realised she was pretty far from actually hitting it and laughed to herself quietly, and then she turned out her alarm and sat up in bed. "God" she muttered to herself another day, another headache.
She crawled out of bed and went towards the bathroom; she caught a quick shower, brushed her teeth and decided it was time for breakfast. When she got to the kitchen she guessed Rachel must have still been asleep, she was pretty out of it the night before so Santana wasn't all that surprised she wasn't up yet.
Santana made some coffee, knowing she wouldn't be able to get through the day without her morning cuppa, then grabbed some toast to fill the growing hole in her stomach. She leaned against the kitchen unit and casually sipped from her mug and ate her toast thinking about the day ahead, practically mapping it out in her mind and huffing at the many boring bits. It wasn't long till she heard movement coming from the other brunette's room.
She looked up just in time to see Rachel come out of her room, wrapped in her robe and looking tired, Santana assumed she may not have got as much sleep as she originally thought. She made her way into the kitchen, and went straight for the water. She picked up a glass and filled it to the brim then began downing the whole thing.
"Jesus Rach, careful there" Santana advised as she watched the smaller girl gulp down more and more of the liquid. "You alright?"
Rachel didn't stop till the whole glass was empty then she looked over at her roommate and wiped an escaping drop off her chin. "I've thrown up twice this morning" she said clearly unimpressed with her alcohol holding abilities.
"Well you were pretty out for the count last night. You were all over the place" Santana informed
"I'm so not going into class today" Rachel stated
"Are you serious? You never miss class" Santana looked on at the other girl her shock clear on her face
"One day won't matter, I'll go in tomorrow, I just need a day for myself"
"I understand" Santana nodded, knowing that Rachel's uncharacteristic behaviour was most likely due to her audition rather than her being hung over as hell.
"So what did you do last night, anything fun?" Rachel smiled but realised quickly that too much movement was far too painful.
"Just talked to Britt on the phone, nothing special" Santana shrugged Rachel didn't need to know all the details. But Santana found herself much more interested in what Rachel said the night before, and was thinking about bringing it up when Rachel did instead.
"I tried to kiss you last night didn't I?" she asked warily, not really knowing how awkward the situation should be right now.
"Um…actually you did kiss me last night Rach…but it was only like a second before I stopped it" Santana explained
Rachel bowed her head as if she were ashamed of herself "I'm so sorry Santana, we can just forget about it though right? I mean I was drunk, I had no idea what I was doing" Rachel defended her actions frantically
"Actually Rachel I'm not sure I can just forget it" Santana locked eyes with the diva
"Why not?" Rachel sounded desperate
"Cause the kiss wasn't the only thing that happened last night"
"Oh my god, we had sex? I can't believe this" Rachel began pacing around the kitchen she was clearly beginning to freak out
"No Rach, no we didn't sleep together" Santana assured her that her assumption was completely wrong "I would never take advantage of you like that, you know that"
Rachel stopped her pacing and just looked back at Santana "Then what happened?" she was most certainly confused by this point
Santana looked at the floor, debating on whether or not she should actually tell her roommate and friend the truth, on one hand Rachel could have just been so intoxicated she was spouting rubbish but on the other hand what if she was so drunk all of her defences were down and she was completely vulnerable and she really meant what she said.
"You told me you wanted me. What did you mean by that?"
Rachel took a few seconds, she couldn't believe she had gotten so drunk she let that slip, this was one of the main reasons she didn't like alcohol, it made you do the things you wanted to do but had too much self-control when sober to take action on.
"Do we still have any vegan milk? I think I want a coffee" Rachel responded avoiding the question obviously so, as she made her way to the fridge and opened it up, busying herself as she pretended to look for milk.
"Rach, don't ignore me" Santana requested
"I'm not ignoring you Santana I just want some coffee" Rachel kept up her charade
"Then answer my question, what does that mean. Why did you say that? You said you've wanted me for months" Santana reminded her
Rachel stopped all movement, she remembers exactly what Santana was talking about by now, she just didn't want to admit it, she'd managed to keep these feelings in for so long and now within one night she had spilled the beans so easily.
"Look Santana" she said closing the fridge door, giving up her search for milk she knew they didn't even have right now "I was really drunk last night, ok, I may have said some stuff that was completely bull so I wouldn't worry about it, just forget it ok" Rachel turned her back to Santana and went back over to the sink to get another glass of water.
"Is it true, do you want me?" Santana sounded a little lost herself now
"Santana I said forget it!" Rachel shouted making Santana jump, she had never heard Rachel use that tone before and honestly she found it to be rather intimidating.
"I don't think I can do that Rachel"
"Look you have Brittany ok, you have a girlfriend, I have…well I have a career I'm working on I don't need distractions right now" she tried to leave the room but Santana called her out once more
"So it is true. Are you in love with me?" Santana asked, not sure what she wanted the answer to be
"No, I'm not…I don't know Santana ok, all I know is…I'm attracted to you emotionally" Rachel looked at the Latina, searching in her eyes for a reaction
"Emotionally? What do you mean attracted to me emotionally?"
"When I broke up with Finn I was lost and I didn't think I'd ever find myself again, but then when we started rooming together you made me feel ok again, like I was worth something. I came to this new city and I didn't know anyone, I had no friends here, no parents, no Finn and no Kurt, but I had you, and when you finally accepted me as your friend I started to feel things for you, not physical attraction but emotional. Like you make me feel less lonely, I miss Finn but when you and I are together it's like I'm me again" Rachel tried her best to explain her complicated feelings
Santana took several seconds to contemplate Rachel's crazy but after a few it didn't seem so crazy anymore. She got it, Rachel needed someone after Finn left her, and that someone became her. It was like she was the one replacing Finn.
"So you're just lonely?"
"Yes but not when I'm with you, you fill that void, do you understand what I'm saying at all?"
"You have an emotional void; I do get it because I have a physical one"
"Because you don't have Brittany with you?" Rachel wondered
"Exactly, so I do understand it, but why didn't you tell me?"
"Are you serious?" she asked and Santana just gave a simple nod "What would have been the point San, you're in a relationship, we can't be together, you don't want me" Rachel spoke so quietly Santana almost didn't hear her
"Who says" Santana locked eyes with Rachel, if she was asked this time yesterday morning she would have said hell no but after kissing Rachel, feeling that physical intimacy that she hadn't felt in so long, she wondered if maybe she did have feelings for Rachel. She loved Brittany and always would but right now she couldn't have Brittany, not physically but Rachel was right there, she could have Rachel physically and Rachel could have her emotionally.
"You're in love with Brittany" Rachel said simply
"Of course I'm in love with Brittany, but that doesn't mean I don't have other feelings too Rachel"
"What are you trying to say?" Rachel searched for an answer in Santana's face but the Latina didn't give anything away, she didn't really know herself, she wouldn't deny Rachel was attractive, anyone with eyes could see that, and after last night she knew the little diva physically turned her on too. But she loved Brittany more than anything, she didn't want to hurt her by doing anything she shouldn't, but her mind just kept thinking about that kiss, her lips, and their bodies so close and warm together like that, she wanted to feel that physical connection again.
"I don't know really Rachel" Santana caught sight of her watch "Shit, I got to go to class. Are you gonna be alright here by yourself?" Santana asked with genuine concern for her roomie
"Sure, I'm probably gonna throw up a couple more times, then hopefully get some rest" Rachel joked causing Santana to break a smile
"Ok then, I'll see you later " Santana said before heading to the door of their apartment, grabbing her stuff and then leaving for college.
Rachel just signed, she still didn't really understand what had just happened, she confessed she liked Santana in some emotional Rachel Berry kinda way, but did Santana really just suggest she may like her too
"Fuck Berry what the hell?" she asked herself as she buried her head in her hands
A/N: Ok so hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter, not entirely sure where this one will lead but I have a few ideas, so if anyone is interested for more leave me a review and let me know what you guys thought of chapter one and what you may like to see in the future.