"Well, that was fun." Valkyrie said as she brushed the rubble and dust from her hair.
"Very," Skulduggery agreed, "Are you hurt anywhere?"
"Um, nope. I don't think so. You?"
"Of course not. I'm far too good at fighting evil to get hurt."
"You got hurt, didn't you?"
"Maybe a little bit. But it's only a broken bone or two," Valkyrie whipped her phone out her pocket. "What're you doing?" Skulduggery asked, approaching her with a terrible limp.
"I'm calling Kenspeckle." She answered.
"Why would you want to do that?"
"Because you're injured. Now stop moving." She commanded and pushed him to the floor.
"Ow! Why'd you do that? I have broken bones." He complained.
"Exactly. And shut up! No, not you Clarabelle." Clarabelle started yapping, "Yes. Yes. No. I know. Yes. He says hi back. Yep. Um, Clarabelle? Is Kenspeckle there? Oh, okay. Can you tell him I phoned and that we'll be arriving in about fifteen minutes? Okay, thank you."
"What did she say?" Skulduggery asked, trying to get up. Valkyrie pushed him back down.
"She asked if we'd nearly died, if you were here, if the bad guy was dead, that we really should stop doing dangerous stuff and if I was okay."
"She didn't ask if I was fine, then?"
"Nope." She said, putting her phone back in her pocket.
"Charming." He tried getting up again but Valkyrie stood in his way, "Would you please stop doing that?"
"No." She said stubbornly.
"Why?" He sighed, exasperated.
"Because, you're injured."
"Moving when you're injured isn't good for you."
"Yeah. What's your point?"
"My point is that you shouldn't move around because you're injured so, shut up and sit still!" Skulduggery remained silent, "Thank you. This seems a bit reversed to me. Does it seem it to you?"
"In what way?"
"Well, you're injured and seem to be asking all the questions where as I'm not injured, I'm answering the questions and looking after you. Not that I'm always getting injured."
"Oh, of course you're not. Ask me a question so we can get back to the normal routine." He suggested.
"Okay then, why were they all after you and completely ignoring me?" Valkyrie asked, serious.
"Were they ignoring you? I never noticed. I was too busy getting attacked by a lot of bad guys that I've never met before."
"The reason there were a lot of them attacking you is because they were ignoring me."
"Or, the reason they were ignoring you is because they were attacking me."
"Think about it. If they were attacking me so much how could they have enough time to attack you?"
"Yeah, but if they ignored me, they could attack you more."
"And why would they wish to do that?"
"I don't know."
"Precisely. Where's Ghastly, he should have driven past here by now." He said, checking the watch on his left wrist, "He's been distracted since Tanith ran off with Billy-Ray."
"Remnant." Valkyrie corrected him stiffly.
"The remnant ran off with Sanguine, not Tanith." She said. He sighed.
"I know, I know. I miss her too," he said sadly, looking up at her from the floor, "but we have to stay positive and try to think of a way to get her back. But, before that let's get me fixed up. I can't save the world if my leg's falling off, can I?" Valkyrie took her phone out and started dialling.
"Hi, Ghastly. No, it's okay. I'm going to call Fletcher so you finish the suit. Really, it's okay. See you later. Bye." She hung up and started dialling again, "Hey, Fletcher. Could you, like, pick us up and take us to Kenspeckle's place, please? Yeah, um, hold on a sec." She covered the phone with her hand, "Where are we?"
"I think we're in the ruins of an old church that's been here for many centuries."
"Anything more specific?"
"Oh, right. Yes."
"Where?" Valkyrie asked after a moment.
"Hmm?" He'd been looking at all the unconscious bodies around them but he looked back at her, cocking his head in confusion. She sighed.
"It doesn't matter. Hi again. We don't know where we are, all we know is that we're in a load of rubble that used to be a really big, really old church. Is that any help? I didn't think so. Erm, hold on a sec." She covered the mouth piece with her hand again, "Skulduggery?"
"Could you do that flying thing and see where we are?"
"I could. I could fly us to the cinema if you want."
"I said I could fly us to the cinema."
"No, I know what you said but you could have told me sooner."
"I suppose I could've, couldn't I? But I didn't."
"I know you didn't. Fletcher, you don't have to come now. Skulduggery's going to fly us there. Okay. Bu-bye." She giggled at something Fletcher said and hung up. Skulduggery stared at her and chuckled.
"What?" She said, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.
"Nothing." He attempted to get up but Valkyrie pushed him back down.
"What now?" He groaned at her.
"You can't get up when you're injured." She said.
"But I can't fly if I'm sat down."
"Oh, okay then." She moved out of his way and let him stand. He grabbed her round the waist with one hand and grabbed the leader of the attacking gang by the collar then concentrated. The wind whipped around Valkyrie, causing her dark hair to lash at her face. She held onto him tightly as their feet left the ground. She could see the mess they'd made when the Bentley had crashed into the side of the church after the gang had jumped them when they were on the way to a murder scene where an entire family of mortals were killed.
This is set after mortal coil but I've decided that some events didn't take place, that's why Kenspeckle and Clarabelle are still here.