You know you live in 2006 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

Fanfic explanations for why Kyuubi attacked Konoha that are not cliche (i.e. not "Orochimaru killed my kids" or "I was under a genjutsu")

Revenge

-Against humanity (for reasons such as death of loved ones, demon hunting, etc., anything more creative than that gets bonus points)

-Against Konoha or Fire Country (for killing loved ones is kind of cliche, but revenge due to certain practices of Konoha/Fire Country would be more interesting)

-For stealing (certain treasures such as Shodaime's necklace, Nidaime's sword, Sandaime's crystal ball and/or Kusanagi are quite valuable)

-For shinobi attempting to take advantage of her while she was sleeping in her den in human form (FEMALE ONLY)... can you say "dead before they hit the ground?"

Lured/Summoned

-By Orochimaru in an act of revenge (somewhat cliche)

-By Danzou, who underestimated Kyuubi's strength when he tried to get Kyuubi sealed

-By AL who was hoping either Konoha would burn or Yondaime would give his life to seal Kyuubi, either way ridding him of a threat

-By a collective decision of Konoha's higher-ups, who wanted a weapon but underestimated Kyuubi's strength

Ordered

-By Akatsuki after being captured by them

-By a god or gods (reasons could vary from Orochimaru's immortality, which is somewhat cliche, to Konoha doing something it shouldn't)

Because Kyuubi is evil (never gets cliche)

Chuck Norris Jokes:

If you are offended by these jokes, I apoligize.

Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris can eat a rubix cube and poop it out solved.

There is no theory of evolution, there are only the animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

There are two kinds of people: wimps and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't pushing his body up, he is pushing the world down.

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity, twice.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

Chuck Norris can taste lies.

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.

The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

Chuck Norris was once tried for attempted murder. When the judge heard what the charge was, he laughed for thirty minutes straight before dismissing the case. When asked about the decision and his behavior before it, the judge simply replied," It was just too funny, I thought it was a joke. Chuck Norris doesn't ATTEMPT murder. Ever."

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends in blank forms and a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. He has never had to pay taxes.

Chuck Norris can make a woman orgasm simply by pointing and saying 'Boo-yah'

Quotes

You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because your all the same.

Time seems to last forever, but to me its frozen, so all I can do is move forward.

Beginnings are usaully scary and endings are somtimes sad, but its everything in between that makes it all worth living.

"Everyone is going to die, it's a natural part of life, but if life has no purpose, your dead already." Wolfs Rain, Kiba.

It's when I'm surrounded that I feel I am truly alone.

Staring down at your own reflection, nothing there to see but your own blank expression.

People learn to lie through being hurt.

Oh what joy, the years of living through pain and tragedies and only your eyes, the key to the true emotions inside. (Fullmetal Alchemist, Lust)

Don't think about the future it comes soon enough. (Ghost in the Shell)

Just because someone holds you does not mean that it is love, just because someone is kind to you does not mean it is love. Love is only seen how you interpret it.

The future is not where my dream is, it's in the past, that's where I'll always be.

I'm lost, no where to go, I'm all alone in this world filled with lies and darkness, I breathe nothing but poison, cry nothing but blood, and live for nothing but the wish to die.

But finally after all the tears, I've drowned, after all the cuts, blood still runs down, this distance is hurting my dark heart, but the closeness is what has really killed me, what I truly feared.

No place to run, never a place to hide, I stand here alone, always alone, not a soul in sight, no one is ever by my side, so I will stay alone.

Behind this false smile is everything you'll never understand.

Now I am just a silhouette down there, a silhouette of a memory of a solitary night...nothing more.

The only thing standing between me and total happiness is my heart, the people that surround me, and this false reality.

Life is but a passing dream, but the Death that follows is eternal.

Death is a Reality that is far to real.

A victim of the tragedy that was the jinchuuriki, an endless circle of pain that stretched out to enfold the world.

“ Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” (Henry Van Dyke)

Puritanism- the haunting fear that someone somewhere is happy.

- Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him. -Louis L'Amour

A man's worth is no greater than his ambitions. -Marcus Aurelius

Anger cannot be dishonest -Marcus Aurelius

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.-Robert Frost

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy. -George Jean Nathan

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. -John Barrymore

We all dream; we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake. -Erich Fromm

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible. -Thomas E. Lawrence

The victor will never be asked if he told the truth. -Adolf Hitler

It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets. -Voltaire

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean some one isn't after you~ Me.

Fate's a bitch, Destiny's a bastard and they are a real pain in the ass when they work together~ Me.

This land is your land, this land is my land, I've got a shot gun, and you ain't got one, if you don't get off, I'll blow your head off, this land is privet property!~ Unknown.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather; not screaming like the people in his car.

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.

A wonderful Doctor gave this guy 6 months to live. When he couldn't pay his bills, he gave him another 6 months. -- (Goodfellas, 1990)

So I said 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.' -- (Goodfellas, 1990)

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?"

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. Rodney Dangerfield

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. Rodney Dangerfield

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. Rodney Dangerfield

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. Rodney Dangerfield

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me. Rodney Dangerfield

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. Rodney Dangerfield

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.”

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

loved by some, hated by many, envied by most, yet wanted by plenty!

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

If they board the ship, they will rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skin into their clothing. And if we are very, very lucky, they will do it in that order.-Zoey, Firefly, talking of Reavers

Good News, I'm still technically alive.-Professor Farnsworth, Futurama

It is possible. We have long lives and are celebrated poopers.-Nibbler, Futurama

May god have mercy on your soul, for I have none for you.-Me

I, like god, do not deal in dice and do not believe in coincidence.-V, V for Vendetta

Aha, my fat metal friend.-V, V for Vendetta

I killed you ten minutes ago, while you slept.-V, V for Vendetta

"you take the ugly one" "you take the ugly one" "I'll take the ugly one" "Which one's the ugly one?"-in order: Leoardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michaelangelo, from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II:the Secret of the Ooze

Where's the Thump Thump?-Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean II: Dead Man's Chest

My advice to you? You take this money, that you were collecting for your parish, go get yourself a nice dress. You know, fix yourself up. Find some man, find some woman, that you can connect with, even for a moment, because that's all that life is sister, it's a series of moments. Why don't you seize yours?-Loki, Dogma

Normal people scare me.-I have no idea

What's the difference between an Emo and my lawn? My lawn doesn't cut itself.-again, don't know who said it.

Four out of five voices in my head say 'Go for it'.-Found it on a tee shirt, which I now own.

I don't suffer from INSANITY, I enjoy every minute of it.-another tee shirt I have.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.-tee shirt

Eveyone has the right to be stupid, but your abusing the right.-tee shirt

Evil squirrels are after my nuts.-tee shirt

One by one the penguins are stealing my sanity-I have no idea

the french cannot be trusted!-Sir Leigh Teabing, Da Vinci Code(movie)

Oh, did that old cannibis charge finally catch up with me?-Sir Leigh Teabing, Da Vinci Code(movie)

Nobody is perfect. I am a nobody. Therefore, I am perfect.-I have no clue who said this.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade, then go find someone whose life has given them vodka and have a party.-I think Ron White said this.

Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early do.-I have no clue.

Every person alive is insane, but most people aren't aware of it.-me

Humans are a plague. And we are the cure.-Agent Smith, The Matrix

I am not racist. I hate everyone equally.-Don't know, but it is my motto

This won't hurt a bit. I won't feel a thing.-I don't remember, but possibly my dentist

If at first you don't suceed, lower your expectations.-tee shirt

If there is one thing I know, it is that I hate you more than I hate myself. And I hate myself a lot.-me

And do you know what the moral of that story is? I just took five minutes of your life away and you will never get it back.-my little brother at the end of a story he told on Myspace.

Myspace is just a huge government conspiricy to take over the minds of the young people and sadists of the US. What they don't realize is that their target population has no minds.-me, after my twelve-year-old cousin got off of myspace after a six hour stint.

one time, my cousin got a cat stuck up his butt. true story. He bought the cat at the local mall so the whole thing wound up on the news. Embarassed the crap out of my relatives. But one week later he did it again. different cat, same result, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So I run into him at the mall one week later, and he's buying another cat. I said,"Geez Walt, you know you're just going to get this cat stuck up your butt. Why don't you knock it off?" and he said to me," Brody, how else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin is a weird guy.-Brody, Mallrats.

alright lunchbox, let's try it again.-Jay, Mallrats

Hey, be fair. Everyone wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.-Brody, Mallrats

"Hey, you want to get high?" "Look who you're asking."-TS, Jay, Mallrats

Where do you get those wonderful toys?-Jay, Mallrats

That kid is back on the escalator again.-Brody, Mallrats

"Hey, it's a schooner." "You dumb kid, it's not a schooner, it's a sailboat." "A schooner is a sailboat stupid head." "YOU KNOW WHAT, THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY! THAT OVER THERE IS JUST A GUY IN A SUIT!"-boy, William, girl, William, Mallrats

Aw, poosticks-my brother

"Pigs in Space" "Shut up Robert"-my brother and his teacher

You are the idiot son of a shupuff-Me to my aunt

What's a shupuff?-my aunt

Did you lose a fight with the lawnmower?-me, to my brother about his haircut.

All I'm saying is your playing with your own lives. I will ride this piano back to Manhattan. When the ship goes down, screw the lifeboats, I have dibs on the big chunk of wood.-Mark Weiser, Piano Man from the cruise I went on.

Wait, wait, what did you want to hear?-Mark Weiser

I will now play for you, because I see some of you doubt me, the entire Poison greatest hits cd, in under sixty seconds.-Mark Weiser

I'm going to kill you so dead, you'll wish you were never born alive.-Riesling, Samurai Legend Musashi

god hates people who say 'god'. God.-my brothers(both of them at various times)

I will assist your suicide-Yoshimitsu, soul caliber 2

May you have mercy in your next life-Yoshimitsu, Soul Caliber 2

I gotta tell you bro, you have a knack for parties. No food, no drinks, and the only chick just left.-Dante, Devil May Cry 3

Wow, I've never seen a talking mutt before. You know, in a dog show, you would definitely take first place.-Dante, Devil May Cry 3

I told you, I don't like people who talk more than me.-Dante, Devil May Cry 3

Alright, first Chicken, the Gladiator. Too bad there's no one here to see the SHOW!-Dante, Devil May Cry 3

"Oh, my god" "Yes?"-Lois and Peter, Family Guy

I haven't been part of a team since I was a member of the Four Peters.-Peter, Family Guy

I would say,' Come again?' and then I would laugh because I said 'Come'. But thank god that's not the case.-Peter, Family Guy

I will protect you with my life. But I cannot laugh, it is forbidden.-Mayor West, Family Guy

I love this song. And I love it when amatuers try to sing it. But I hate Baseball Cards.-Mayor West, Family Guy

"I'm not talking about the Griffens, I'm talking about the rest of my LiteBrite pieces. My name isn't Adam We. Or is it? What number did you call, who is this, don't ever call here again." click " I sure showed him. Nobody messes with Adam We.-Mayor West, Family Guy

Perhaps the Noid should have avoided me?-Mayor West, Family Guy

I love this job like I love my taffy. And I'm a man who enjoys his taffy.-Mayor West, Family Guy

"I'll talk to him, just as soon as I get some courage from my old buddy Jack Daniels." picks up phone, dials. " Hello, Mrs. Daniels. Is Jack home? What? Oh, my god, I am so sorry. Yes." Hangs up. Shakes head. " Oh, Jack was a wise man, but he loved playing with that wheat thresher. Always playing with that wheat thresher."-Peter, Family Guy

I tell you this, because I care about you. I am going to the press with this, and when I do, it's going to be bigger than Uncle Sam's nipples.-Brian, Family Guy

No, me father was a tree.-pirate guy; family guy

Chicken, gave me a bad coupon.-Peter; Family Guy

Alright, first off, Bonnie, you've been pregnaut for like six years, either have the baby or don't.-Peter, Family Guy

"What, something's broken and it's not your fault?" "I know, I'm scared too."-Zim and Gir, Invader Zim

I was in the turkey all along.-Gir, Invader Zim

But I need tacos, I need them or I'll explode. That happens to me sometimes.-Gir, Invader Zim

Does a fall kill you? No, but the stop at the bottom might.-Me

And now for the creed of all janitors everywhere: Any kid can make a mess. But it takes a man to clean it up.

"Those that don't follow the rules are scum, but those that don't take care of their teammates are worse than scum." - Copy-Nin Hatake Kakashi, Uchiha Obito, Konoha's White Fang

"People attach themselves to their clan, a thing so petty, they lose sight of the things that are truly important. A real change cannot occur if it is bound by laws and limitations, restraints and controls, where premonition and imagination are fixed down." - Uchiha Itachi.

"Samehada doesn't slice, it shaves!" - Hoshigaki Kisame

"There are no weak soldiers under a valiant commander." - The Yondaime Hokage-sama

"Sucks for you!" - Yoru Sune-ku

"You aren't racist if you hate everyone equally - Kyuubi No Shinigami

"Yes, but why is the rum gone?!" - Captain Jack Sparrow

"Oh... My God. I'm... gagging and vomiting at the same time. I'm... Gavomitting." - Dr. Cocks, from 'Scrubs'

"Here's a riddle. Two guys destroyed your bike with a crowbar and a bat. One of them wasn't me." - Janitor, from 'Scrubs'

"I am Windextor! I will clean your soul!" - Dane Cook

"He turns towards me and sneezes. He was like 'Fuah!' He actually did like the robot from '85." - Dane Cook

"He's so snarky with his fucking attitude. Yeah, snarky, it's a word. Google that shit. It exists." - Dane Cook

"I'll make you trust me. And when you've told me everything I need to know... I'll kill you." - Yagami Raito

"All humans will, without exception, eventually die." - Ryuuku

"Will you be eating that cake? Say what you want, but I'm taking that cake." - L

"Light thinks that it is faster than everything, but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds that darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it." - Terry Pratchett

The Demon Lords and Jinchuuriki.

I got most of my Indformation from this website

One-tailed Tanuki :Raccon-Dog : Container Gaara : Location: Hidden Village of Sand.

Tale in the Legend of the Tailed Beasts: Shukaku is a bijuu in the form of Raccon Dog (Tanuki of the Japanese mythology).

Before, he was a priest that lived in the Desert of Nara. Because of the dark power released by Yamata no Orochi, and under the heavy assault of wind and sand, he transformed into a raccoon dog He has a playful and extravagant personality, resembling the Tanuki nature. Has a pretty active sexual life. Shukaku lives in the souls of people killed by the wind and sand

The violet tattoos represent his title of God of Wind. Situation in the Ancient War of the 9 Gods: Battled 5 times; 1 Win, 3 Losses, 1 Flee

Wins: Sokou Losses: Raijuu, Nekomata, Isonade Escapes: Yamata no Orochi

Shukaku is defeated by a Nara Monk called Oraga Nakashimu with a type of magic art. Then, the monk proceeds to use the "Tool of Power: Antler Teakettle" to seal it into the seal in the Wind Shrine.

Japanese Myth Appearance: A species of Tanuki, Yellow body Ability: Sandstorms, has the control of Wind and Sand manipulation.

Bijuu Strength Ranking: 8th

Bijuu Chakra/Stamina Ranking: 9th

Symbolic Element: Wind (God of Wind) Origin / Discovered in: Nara Desert

Nibi: Nekomata: Two-Tailed Cat: Container Yugito: Location: Hidden Vilage Of Ligthing.

Tale in the Legend of the Tailed Beasts: Nekomata is a bijuu in the form of cat, and possesses the power of death.

This Bijuu lives in a place called “Forest of Death”.) in Hokkaido, to the north.

His appearance is a black cat monster (depicted with huge, black angel wings). he’s the Death God’s pet. Nekomata feeds on dead people’s spirits, and can summon these to fight for him. he uses a third eye at the top of its head to consume the spirits. Situation in the Ancient War of the 9 Gods: Trying to dominate his enemies, Nekomata forms an alliance with Houkou, and attacks Kyuubi. They have a disastrous defeat, and Nekomata is rescued by the Death God, escaping death by a hair’s breath.

Situation in the Ancient War of the 9 Gods: Battled 3 times; 2 Wins, 1 Loss. Wins: Kaku, Isonade Losses: Kyuubi Escapes: N/A Fate: Nekomata ends up killed by Kyuubi later, and in that instant his spirit is summoned by the Death God.

The body was kept in a shrine in the Forest of Death, sealed by the Death God himself. Japanese Myth Appearance: A species of two tails black cat, with slightly more pointed ears and bigger canines.

Ability: Death; may control deceased person's spirits as well as different dark beasts

Bijuu Strength Ranking: 4th Bijuu

Chakra/Stamina Ranking: 8th

Symbolic Element: Darkness God of Darkness

Origin / Discovered in: Hokkaido’s “Forest of Devils” (Different of Forest of Death)

Sanbi: Isonade: Three-Tailed Shark: Container: Undecided: Location: Unknwon

Jinchuuriki: None (Wild) Tale in the Legend of the Tailed Beasts: Isonade is a shark shaped Bijuu with a sharp horn on the forehead. It lives in the deep waters on the West of Japan, fighting pirates.

Every few months, Isonade will swim to the surface of the sea from the deep waters, to breathe some fresh air. However, when he does this, storms erupt, oceans rage, and all ships will be swallowed by him as food. Isonade has a subordinate fish called Samehada .

Samehada attaches itself to Isonade’s stomach, and absorbs its food to create huge amounts of chakra, proceeding to send it back to its body. Samehada’s power can enable Isonade to get 5 times the quantity of chakra it could originally get.

Therefore, when Isonade battles, he will have unlimited chakra to receive from Samehada.

Situation in the Ancient War of the 9 Gods: Battled 4 times; 2 Wins, 1 Loss, 1 Flee

Wins: Kaku and Shukau

Losses: Nekomata

Escapes: Yamato No Orochi.

Fate: A fisherman and brave warrior from Yokohama, called Takuma Muramasa, sacrifices himself in behalf of two villages in a courageous act, getting near Isonade and sealing his personal servant Samehada in the “Tool of Power: Pot of the Shark-named fish” from seal in the Water Shrine.

Isonade then becomes unable to draw the massive chakra, and ends up getting exhausted and sucked by the Tool’s seal in the Water Shrine as well. Japanese Myth Appearance: A big shark with 3 tails and 3 fins. Has a dark blue body color, is attracted by blood (like all sharks); has a personal servant, a small fish named Samehada, as shown above, that is responsible to help Isonade absorb and digest Chakra in 5 times his original capacity.

Ability: Generic water powers, can control the currents of water.

Bijuu Strength Ranking: 6th Bijuu

Chakra/Stamina Ranking: 7th

Symbolic Element: Water (God of Water)

Origin / Discovered in: Four Nanju Country Islands - Yawagawa Sea Area

Yonbi: Sokou: Four-tailed Reptile: Continaer?Location: Rain Village

Yonbi no Sokou Jinchuuriki: Unknown Tale in the Legend of the Tailed Beasts: Sokou is a bijuu that looks like a reptile. It was a creature that lived near Mount Fuji. Because of the toxic gas and the volcanic ash, he was transformed into a half-rooster, half-snake monster.

The Rooster and Snake are husband and wife in Sokou’s body. Everything around it withers away or dies, because of its poison. According to the Legend, whenever he hibernates in Mount Fuji, the snoring he causes will make the volcano erupt. S

ituation in the Ancient War of the 9 Gods: Battled 4 times; 3 Losses, 1 Flee Wins: N/A

Losses: Shukaku, Kaku, Houkou

Escapes: Raijuu

Fate: Sokou was sealed by a master of demonic arts, called Yamazaki Ishiro, with the “Tool of power: Netted Moon Cage” to the seal in the Mount Fuji’s base. Sokou becomes unable to send out his poisonous gas from the mountain for all eternity.

Japanese Myth Appearance: A four-tailed Rooster / Snake mixture. The lower part of the body is a Snake, while the upper part is a Rooster. Crawls instead of walking. Most of the body parts have an orange tone.

Lives in the Mount Fuji. Ability: Controls poison, poisonous gas, venoms, and so on.

Bijuu Strength Ranking: 9th Bijuu

Chakra/Stamina Ranking:

6th Symbolic Element: Poison Origin / Discovered in: Close to Tokyo, Mount Fuji. More info about Sokou:

If you remember, Sokou is the oriental counterpart of the folklore creature roosteratrice. Sokou doesn’t have wings like it, though. Origin / Discovered in: Four Nanju Country Islands - Yawagawa Sea Area

Gobi: Houkou: Five-tailed Dog: Container?Location: Possibly Snow Village undisclosed.

Gobi no Houkou Jinchuuriki: Unknown Tale in the Legend of the Tailed Beasts: Houkou is a bijuu which looks like a five-tailed dog. Each tail of this creature represents one elemental power: Wind, Water, Earth, Lightning and Fire.

They can cause catastrophic damage when used. Houkou will willingly destroy the nature to obtain the power he desires from these elements. He was once badly injured when he and Nekomata challenged Kyuubi. Strangely enough, he is the god of Illusion.

Houkou lives in a giant, ancient tree.

Situation in the Ancient War of the 9 Gods: Battled 4 times; 3 Wins, 1 Loss

Wins: Sokou, Nekomata, Raijuu

Losses: Kyuubi

Escapes: N/A

Fate: After receiving a severe wound, Houkou runs away to one of Japan's islands, and hides in a place near Kyushu’s Volcano - a giant tree, to heal his wound. But the tree's concrete position is not known by anyone.

Japanese Myth Appearance: A species of dog, with 5 long tails. Has a white colored body. Each of the tails possess one of the five elemental powers, that used simultaneously can cause a big earthquake.

Ability: Attacking using mixture of elements; Houkou is skilled in each kind of element ability, and can also create instantaneously each kind of natural disaster.

Bijuu Strength Ranking: 3rd Bijuu Chakra/Stamina Ranking:

5th Symbolic Element: Illusion (Being the god of Illusions)

Origin / Discovered in: Near one of Kyushu’s volcanoes (Akase Lava Volcano, probably)

Rokubi:Raijuu: Six-Tailed Weasel: container?: Location

Rokubi no Raijuu Jinchuuriki: Unknown Tale in the Legend of the Tailed Beasts: Raijuu, a bijuu in the form of weasel, has four legs and very sharp claws.

Its cry sounds like thunder. It was originally the god of Thunder, but because of Yamata no Orochi’s power, it was transformed into a beast. Raijuu can release a huge amount of electricity for battle assistance.

Situation in the Ancient War of the 9 Gods: Battled 5 times; 2 Wins, 3 Losses

Wins: Shukaku, Sokou

Losses: Houkou, Yamata no Orochi,

Kyuubi Escapes:

N/A Fate: A ninja called Sarutobi (That’s right, but we don’t know if it’s the series’ Sandaime), in the legend, effectively eliminated Raijuu by using the technique “Kinjutsu: Raikiri”. (Now the confusion starts. This is supposed to be Kakashi’s move, but the way of writing may be different from the actual jutsu, and Kishimoto probably changed this legend to fit the story anyway).

What actually happens is that the technique counters the lightning released by Raijuu by cutting it, making the beast receive its own attack, and become severely wounded. (Thus the name lightning edge.) He then is sealed by Sarutobi with the “Tool of Power: Hidden Thunder Prison” into the seal in the Thunder Shrine. Japanese Myth Appearance: A species of weasel with golden yellow fur.

The whole body’s fur grows upright. Its six tails take a lightning shape, (unlike the crappy image I have, but it’s the closest to the legend) just like the ancient God of Thunder. Ability: Fire caused by lightning, Lightning Thunder, Lightning bolts, Lightning elemental magic arts; Raijuu may also fly about as a ball of lightning / fire.

Bijuu Strength Ranking: 5th Bijuu

Chakra/Stamina Ranking: 4th Symbolic Element: Lightning (God of Lightning)

Origin / Discovered in: Underground the Thunder Shrine in a town in Kyoto More info about Raijuu: Raijuu is also depicted as the companion of Raiden, the Shinto god of lightning. While the demon is generally calm and harmless, during thunderstorms, it becomes agitated and leaps about in trees, fields, and even buildings (trees that have been struck by lightning are said to have been scratched by Raiju's claws).

Another of its peculiar behaviors is sleeping in human navels. This prompts Raiden to shoot arrows at Raijuu to wake the creature up, thus harming the person in whose belly the demon is resting. Superstitious people therefore often sleep on their stomachs during bad weather. Other legends say that Raijuu will only hide in the navels of people who sleep outdoors.

Schibi: Kaku: Seven-Tailed Badger: Container?

Shichibi no Kaku Jinchuuriki: Unknown Tale in the Legend of the Tailed Beasts: Kaku is a bijuu in the form of badger. Its Kanji is also read as Mujina, which is the name the Japanese subspecies of badger (Meles Meles Anaguma) receives in some parts of Japan.

It has seven tails, and is the smallest bijuu out of the nine; though it is the most cunning and stealthy. Kaku hunts its prey underground most of the time. It kills by crumbling/destroying the piece of land that is under its target, making it fall right into his open mouth. Above land, whenever he is around he can transform into any type of creature, but he is unable to do it if he doesn’t have clay.

Situation in the Ancient War of the 9 Gods: Battled 4 times; 1 Win, 3 Flees

Wins: Sokou

Losses: N/A

Escapes: Nekomata, Isonade, Yamata no Orochi

Fate: Kaku’s storehouse of clay in a hole is found, and is burned by warriors. Kaku is unable to transform, and is defeated by the brave warrior Ikkyo Soujin, who proceeds to seal it with the “Tool of Power: Remnant Earth Altar” into the seal in the Earth Shrine. Japanese Myth Appearance: Kaku is the smallest Bijuu. It has a blue color, and is good at using clay camouflage.

Kaku is very difficult to bump into. Ability: Transformation (Henge), Clay, Earth elemental magic arts.

Bijuu Strength Ranking: 7th

Bijuu Chakra/Stamina Ranking: 3rd S

ymbolic Element: Earth (God of Earth)

Origin / Discovered in: Underground Sacrificial Altar in the Nagoya outskirts More info about Kaku: Mujina is an old Japanese term for a badger. In Japanese folklore, these animals were avid shape shifters, and one of the forms they were purported to take was that of a faceless ghost. This particular sort of monster is often referred to by English speakers as a Mujina, but the Japanese know them as nopperabou.

Hacibi: Hacimata or Yamata: Eight-Tailed Snake: Container?: Location Unkown

Hachibi no Yamata no Orochi Jinchuuriki: Unknown Tale in the Legend of the Tailed Beasts: Yamata no Orochi is a Snake bijuu. It has crimson red eyes, eight heads and eight tails (also depicted to having trees and vines growing around them) and has the power of the Demon world, a symbol of evil. Each head of Yamata no Orochi represents a symbol: Soul, Ghost, Evil, Devil, Monstrous, Kill, the Afterworld and Death.

Its powers were originally weak, the members of the Kusanagi clan, when attacking it, acted carelessly, using the legendary sword Kusanagi no Tsurugi (Oro’s sword). Because of that, as a consequence, Yamata no Orochi takes the sword from them, absorbing the power contained inside, and becoming an incredibly powerful creature, and finally storing it in its body.

With the new power, Yamata no Orochi releases an insane amount of dark energy, awakening the other Bijuu and becoming arrogant. Yamata no Orochi proceeds to defeat many of the Bijuu, but when it battles with Kyuubi, it is defeated. The cause of this is simple: Kyuubi has an unlimited amount of power, making even a hole in the Kusanagi sword. As this happens, it shows how tremendously powerful Kyuubi is, deserving of the “King of Bijuu” title. Not even Sarutobi and Enma could scratch the Kusanagi no Tsurugi. (That makes connections to the Oro and Sandaime battle)

Legend also depicted it as having a power able to rival Kyuubi’s (in quality), but the fact is, Yamata no Orochi’s does have a limit.

Situation in the Ancient War of the 9 Gods: Battled 5 times; 4 Wins, 1 Losses

Wins: Shukaku, Isonade, Kaku, Raijuu

Losses: Kyuubi

Escapes: N/A

Fate: Yamata no Orochi awaits a genius of the Yagami (Eight Gods) clan, which is the arch enemy of the Kusanagi clan. The purpose is to awake it (Yamata no Orochi), in order to fight Kyuubi again.

Since Yamata no Orochi’s power inherits in the Yagami Clan, if the heir appears as the first genius in 1000 years that is able to awake Yamata no Orochi’s ability, it will be completely restored. Once the process is done, the genius with such crucial task will be destroyed due to the true body of Yamata no Orochi resurfacing, which has an all-new power. It won’t be found before the decisive battle with Kyuubi, and will be able to kill no matter of thing, destroy any type of place, and attain infinite vision (as Kyuubi has).

The core of Yamata no Orochi’s power is in a kind of forbidden sealing jutsu. As soon as the Yagami clan heir comprehends enough of it, a bigger, much stronger power will surface in the grasp of Yamata no Orochi. Japanese Myth Appearance: A super Snake of Eight heads and eight tails, attached to a single body. Has a deep brown color. It definitely is the biggest bijuu - the length of it is over eight mountains.

Originally, it was weaker than Houkou and Nekomata; however, that was 1000 years before a brave warrior tried defeating it with the Kusanagi no Tsurugi. In the process, the sword’s power is absorbed instead by Yamata no Orochi, thus greatly expanding his power. He continues though to be able to use freely the sword in his belly. Ability: The legendary sword: Kusanagi no Tsurugi; summoning of evil spirits .

Bijuu Strength Ranking: 2nd

Bijuu Chakra/Stamina Ranking: 2nd

Symbolic Element: Devil

Origin / Discovered in: An old battlefield in Osaka More info about Yamata no Orochi:

There is the story of the killing of the Eight-Headed Serpent by Susanoo. According to the legend, a local town had been living in fear of the Serpent, and the townspeople offered the sacrifice of a young girl each year to keep it appeased. Lord Susano heard about the town's dilemma, and became determined to slay the beast. He exterminated the serpent by serving it alcohol, and then cutting off its heads while it was intoxicated. Between the Kagura performances, this one is the most famous.

Kyuubi: Nine-Tailed Fox: Container: Naruto Yori: Location Hidden Village of Fire

aKyuubi no Yoko Jinchuuriki: Uzumaki Naruto Tale in the Legend of the Tailed Beasts: This is a bijuu in the shape of a nine-tailed fox, and the strongest of them all. The reason he is so powerful is simple: Kyuubi has an unlimited amount of power, earning it the “King of Bijuu” title.

The power is generated by Kyuubi’s Fire Seal, and as a result, after battling for 100 years with Yamata no Orochi, it becomes exhausted; but Kyuubi continues standing, able to fight. It is also pretty cunning and smart.

Situation in the Ancient War of the 9 Gods: Battled 4 times;

All wins Wins: Nekomata, Houkou, Raijuu, Yamata no Orochi

Losses: N/A

Escapes: N/A

Fate: In unclear whereabouts, Kyuubi continues to kill all the people on his way to find the one who awakened him, and the one who managed to seal him before. (That being Yondaime, probably) Yamata no Orochi didn’t tell Kyuubi, though, that the one who awakened him was the Eight Tails himself. Japanese Myth Appearance: Kyuubi no Youko is the strongest Bijuu of the Japanese Myth.

Its body has a red fur; Kyuubi represents the element of Fire. Its abilities are incredible. Because it has never been defeated by any youkai, its total strength is unable to estimate. His tails create cyclones by spinning quickly, and Kyuubi proceeds to rip its enemies with its huge claws. At the same time his fur may shoot fireballs similar to meteorites endlessly, instantly destroying villages. I

n the ancient Bijuu wars, a challenge results in Houkou being severely wounded, and Nekomata nearly dying, but ending up being rescued by his master, Shinigami (God of Death). Yamata no Orochi depended on the Kusanagi no Tsurugi to fight Kyuubi, but was defeated and the sword received a cracked hole, courtesy of kyuubi. Ability: Fire element attacks, Flaming claws, and other things depicted above Bijuu Strength Ranking: 1st Bijuu Chakra/Stamina Ranking: 1st Symbolic Element: Fire (God of Fire) Origin / Discovered in: Hidden Altar of Gods in Kobe More info about Kyuubi: The Kyuubi is an intelligent demon that is capable of speech and has a scathing, sadistic personality.

However he has also a sense of fairness and sarcastic honor, as he sometimes helps Naruto when he is in a difficult situation. This could be for purely selfish reasons, however, for it is speculated that if Naruto dies, then the Kyuubi will die with him. It seems likely that the Kyuubi has some concept of a loathing respect for Naruto and even more so for the Fourth Hokage.