17th January 2013-if this message is not updated by 31st January 2014 then well...I'm dead, and I imagine that it sucks, though since I am currently alive and well and putting this up as a precaution since I would hate to leave people expected me to update, I have no idea if the death thing actually sucks...will suck...whatever.

Peace out and Rock on,

Anzer'ke.

Personal Information.

Pen Name; Anzer’ke (pronounced Anz-eh-re-ke)

Actual Name; Alec

Age; 20

STOP PRESS

Do you like reading? Perhaps a stupid question given the url but then I'm full of stupid. Do you know what isn't full of stupid? Do you know what is in fact full of awesome? Perhaps even full of epic? This wonderful, webfiction written by a rather polite guy: Worm

Now go forward unto the link and be bored no more. Well until it ends, but I'm working as fast as I can on this time machine thing.

OKAY...YOU CAN START AGAIN

Favorite Anime &/or Manga (quite a short list);

Baccano!

Avatar the Last Airbender

One Piece

Negima

Bleach

Ghost in the Shell

666 Satan

Psyren

Vexille

History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi

Naruto

Appleseed

To Aru Matsu No Index/Kagaku No Railgun

Soul Eater

Berserk

Rosario Vampire (& II)

Sword of the Stranger

Kurohime

Midori Days

Nagasarante Airantou

Rave

Zatch Bell

Oban Star Racers

Inuyasha

Anima

Ai No Exorcist

Hareluya Boy

Until Death do us Part

Black Cat

Chrome Shelled Regios

Half And Half

Defense Devil

Erementar Gerad

Fullmetal Alchemist

Baka To Test To Shokanju

Black God

Kimi ni Todoke

Princess Ressurection

Yureka

Shiawase Kissa

Gai Rei

Samurai Deeper Kyo

Samurai Champloo

Seikeri

MAR (not Mar Omega which is CRAP)

Flame of Recca

Shaman King

Princess Mononoke

Porco Rosso

Bitter Virgin

My Neighbour Totoro

Nausicca of the Valley of the Wind

Zombie Loan

Hunter x Hunter

.Hack

Nuraihyon no Mago

Laputa Castle in the Sky

Akira

Yu Gi Oh

Sword of The Stranger

Yu Gi Oh Gx

Spirited Away

Favorite Movies (very partial list);

Underworld 1&2 (could someone tell me when the third one is out, because I’m pretty sure it’s a trilogy).

The Rock

James Bond

The Count of Monte Cristo

Avatar

16 Blocks

The Last Castle

Without a Paddle

Dodgeball

Pluto Nash

Resident Evil 1,2&3

Doom

The Mummy 1&2

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Final Fantasy Advent Children

Final Fantasy Spirits Within

King Arthur

Van Helsing

Dude where’s My Car

Favorite Books (Absolutely massive list...once I finish it that is);

Every single book ever written by Terry Pratchett. Ever.

The Old Kingdom Trilogy

R.A. Salvatore...is a god

Bartimaeus Trilogy

Tales from the Old Kingdom

H.I.V.E.

The Ragwitch

Shade’s Children

The Hunger Games

Inkheart

The Outward Bounders

His Dark Materials

Dark Magicians Trilogy

Inheritance Cycle

And a Whole hell of a lot more that I can't remember right now, seriously two walls of my old room were at one time covered in books four deep, cleaned it up and now get them out occasionally when I remember them.

NOT HARRY POTTER.

Favorite Games

All Final Fantasy games except XII and XIII

DrakenGard

Bioshock 1 & 2

Enslaved: Journey to the West

Quantum Theory

Dragon Age

Blue Dragon

Mario...all of them

Nier

Assassin's Creed 1 & 2

Nier

Tekken

Star Ocean Till the end of time

Shadow Hearts; Covenant

The Legend of Zelda

Kingdom Hearts

Skies of Arcadia- please will someone give me a moonstone cannon.

Doom

Supported Shippings;

A.t.L.A.

Aang & Toph-My First (and favourite) Ship. (Sniffs and wipes away a tear)-Taang

Zuko & Katara-Zutara

Jet & Mai-Jai

Sokka & Ty Lee-Ty Lokka

Haru & Azula-Harula

Tom-Tom & Hope-...someone help me here

Longshot & Smellerbee-Smellershot

Naruto

Naruto & Hinata-Naruhina

Rock Lee & Sakura-Sakulee

Sasuke & Sakura (or rather I don't mind it too much)

Gaara & Matsuri

Iruka & Anko

Neji & Ten Ten

Minato & Kushina

Chouji & Ino

Konohamaru & Hanabi

Asuma & Kurenai

Pein & Konan

Shikamaru & Temari

Shadow Hearts

Kurando & Anastasia

Yuri & Alice

Ben & Karen/Anne

666 Satan

Jio & Yuria

Cross & Ruby

Ball & Mei

Rave

Haru & Ellie

Musica & Reina

Let & Julia

Inuyasha

Inuyasha & Kagome

Koga & Ayame

Miroku & Sango

Bankotsu & Jakotsu

Sesshomaru & Rin (preferably Older Rin)

Negima

Negi & (in no meaningful order) Nodoka, Asuna, Ayaka, Eva, Chachamaru, Hakase, Setsuna, Konoka, Fuka, Fumika, Kaede, Mana, Zazie, Anya, Akira, Ako, Makie, Yuna, Chisame, Haruna, Yue, Ku Fei, Asakura, Sakura, Takane, Misora and Sayo

Yes that is a Negi & Harem pairing and yes I do support it, as well as any combination of the above set (Negi & Ayaka, Negi & Fuka, Fumika etc.)

Setsuna & Konoka

Kotaro & Chizuru, Natsume, Sakurako, Misa, Madoka (same as with my Negi pairing)

Psyren

Yoshina & Amamiya

Junas & Caprico

Shao & Marie

Haruhiko & Chika

Kagetora & Matsuri

Ian & Fubuki

Berserk

Gutts & Caska

Isidro & Schierke

Seperico & Farnese

Rosario Vampire

Tsukune & Ura-Moka, Omote-Moka, Kurumu, Mizore, Rubi and Yukari

Gin & Sun

Bus Driver & Nekomone

History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi

Kenichi & Miu and Renka

Ukita & Freya and Kisara

Sakaki & Shigure

Natsu & Honoka

Baccano!

Claire/Vino & Chane

Isaac & Miria

Firo & Nemis

Luck & Eve

Jacuzzi & Nice

Keith & Kate

Ladd & Lua

Gerd & Sylvie

Bleach

Ichigo & Rukia

Ishida & Orohime

Kenpachi & Unohana

Uraha & Yodouichi

Star Ocean: Til the End of Time

Albel & Nel

Fayt & Maria and Sophia

Cliff & Mirage

MAR

Ginta & Dorothy

Alviss & Bell

Danna & Ginta's Mother

Phantom & Candice

Jack & Pano

One Piece

Zoro & Tashigi

Luffy & Hancock

You may notice that I don't much like most happens of Mugiwara & Mugiwara...Nakama doesn't have romantic connotations in this series.

Oban Star Racers

Aikka & Molly

Kurohime

Zero & Kurohime

Kazama & Asura

Oyuki & Yukio

Nagasarate Airantou

Harem for teh lulz

Black Cat

Leon & Eve

Train & Saya

Sven & Tearju

Charden & Kyoko

Creed & Echidna

Jenos & Rinslet

Drakengard

Caim & Angelus

Chaos Legion

Sieg & Arcia

Twokinds (cause it should be up here)

Trace & Flora

Keith & Natani

Flame of Recca

Raika & Fuuko

Recca & Yanagi

Beelzebub

Oga & Hilda and Aoi

Furuichi & Angelica

Sengoku Youko

Shinsuke & Shakugan

Brutal Legend

Eddie & Ophelia

Tekken

Alisa & Lars

Jin & Xiao

Yoshimitsu & Kunimitsu

Bioshock

Billy & Eleanor

Delta & Sophia

Nier

Nier & Kaine

Emil & Yohna

Kingdom Hearts

Roxas & Namine

Sora & Kairi

Hayner & Olette

Heroes

Sylar & ...someone(O.C. not yaoi)

Underworld

Michael & Selene

Lucian & Sonja

Terminator

John & Cameron

Marcus & Blair

Uncle Bob & T-X

John Henry & Savanah

John Elison & Catherine

Until Death Do Us Part

Mamoru & Haruka

Kilo & Sierra

Eragon

Eragon & Saphira

Solembum & Angela

Murtagh & Nasuada

Roran & Katrina

Garth Nix('s books)

Nick & Lirael

Arthur & Suzy

Soul Eater

Black Star & Tsubaki

Soul & Maka

Death The Kidd & Liz and Patty

Ox & Kim

Sid & Mira Nygus

Spirit & Kami

Stein & Marie

Stein & Medusa

Princess Mononoke

Ashitaka & San

Yu Gi Oh

Seto & Serenity

His Dark Materials

Will & Lyra

Pantalaimon & Kirjava

Samurai Champloo

Mugen and Jin & Fuu

Mugen & Yatsuha

Jin & Shino

The Legend of Zelda

Link & Midna-Lidna

Rallis & Ilia

Shad & Ashei

Quantum Theory

Syd & Felina

Enslaved: Journey to the West

Monkey & Trip

Final Fantasy

Vincent & Yuffie-Yuffentine

Auron & Rikku-Aurikku

Balthier & Fran

Cid & Shera

Cid & Edea

Cloud & Tifa

Squall & Rinoa

Zack & Aerith

Seifer & Fujin

Zell & Quistis

Irvine & Selphie

Steiner & Beatrix

Zidane & Garnet/Dagger

Amarent & Freya

Tseng & Elena

Resident Evil

Billy & Rebecca

Matt & Alice

Leon & Ada

Rain & JD

Alien/Predator

Jeuki & Emma-Jeumma

Scar & Lex-SEX( joke!!)

Predator & Human

Sonic

Knuckles & Rouge

Warhammer 40K

O'Shovah & O'Shaserra-O'Shoverra

To make it clear, I am not a rabid shipper, I'm happy to read things with different ships. I just prefer to read and write these ones. They make more sense to me, that's it.

"If there's one thing I would want to be remembered for it's passion and enthusiasm. Conservation is my job, my life, my whole being." Steve Irwin

A great man who will be sorely missed.

Fire and Ice; by Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice.

From what I've tasted from desire,

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if I had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate,

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice

Defenestration
dee-fen-uh-strey-shuhn
n. An act of throwing someone or something out of a window.

Here are some actual warnings on some consumer goods, just in case you needed further proof the human race is doomed due to its own stupidity. Comments not from me, originally found on Xelskyr's profile

On a Myer hairdryer:
'Do not use while sleeping'.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Crisps(chips if you aren't british):
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
'Directions: Use like regular soap'.
(And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners:
‘serving suggestion: Defrost'.
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom):
'Do not turn upside down'.
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
'Product will be hot after heating'.
(And you thought??...)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
'Do not iron clothes on body'.
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication'.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
'Warning: May cause drowsiness'.
(And...I'm taking this because??)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
'For indoor or outdoor use only'.
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
'Not to be used for the other use'.
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Nobby's peanuts:
'Warning: contains nuts'.
(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts'.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume:
'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly'.

Now the Greatest of them All

On a Swedish Chainsaw:
'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals'.
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Forty- Nine laws of Anime:
Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito
1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.
2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.
5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.
6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).
10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.
11. Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".
12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.
14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.
15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.
16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.
17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.
18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.
19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.
20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...
22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.
24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.
25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.
27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.
28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.
32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.
34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.
36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
--Extreme Coolness
--Amazing intelligence
--Incredible Irritation
37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.
38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...
40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.
42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.
43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.
44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.
45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.
46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives