My Stories . Bio Fav: Stories . Authors
My main LOTR stories:
NEVER READ FANFICTION TO HOBBITS!: Told from the Fellowship's POV. After their TV remote disappears, the Fellowship decided to read the fanfiction book that mysteriously ‘appeared'. At the same time that they are being thrown into chaos, insanity, and the horrors of the Mary-Sue, a modern-day girl discovers that the fanfiction is a plot to take over Middle-Earth. A horrible tasting potion, a fight with elves, an uncomfortable journey to Rivendell, and a chocolate-stealing elf follow one after the other for her. Now the Fellowship (plus Jas) has to keep reading the "Book of Doom, Death and Destruction" until they find an opportunity to go back to our world and kill the evil Mary-Sue authoress. Can they survive? Can they overcome the Flashback, the football pile, the nude son of Elrond, and the colliding worlds? Can Aragorn break the greasy-hair sterotype? Can Pippin learn how to order the perfect Starbucks coffee? Can Jas figure out who this 'Cryseina' girl is? Can Eowyn restrain herself from tearing the fanfiction into shreds? Can Legolas shake off the Mary-Sue invaders and convince them that 'Draco' is hotter than he is?
All this and more is coming soon in NRFH!
Elves, Christmas, and a Bottle of Vodka: This is a short story that is a companion to NRFH. It can be read alone, as it has no bearing on the story. It also is slightly non-canon in the fact that Elrond has not left for the Grey Havens. Jas has a bottle of vodka, and Elrond has a secret supply of wine. Unfortunately for Rivendell, he has left several day ago to escort Thranduil to Rivendell. Dare we anticipate the Elf Lord's reaction to the utter chaos awaiting him? Hobbits singing 'Jingle Bells', Erestor's pink bubbles, Legolas the pirate captain, and the newly-formed Fellowship of the Destruction of Mary-Sues. Not to mention the conga line...
License to Crash: Pippin learns to drive a speedboat: Also a one-shot that links with NRFH. Set sometime after NRFH, in the summer. When Jas takes the Fellowship back to her California home for the summer, she has no idea what will happen. Aragorn will attack the beach umbrellas, Faramir will build the biggest sandcastle known to man, and our favorite hobbit will eagerly take control of a fifty-thousand dollar speedboat, and proceed to throw everybody overboard, and sail into the sunset. Romantic moment between Jas and Legolas. As one sailor remarks, "It's a helluva day at sea, sir!"
Introducing the Hip-Hop Hobbits! (Also known as Aragorn's Nightmare): One-shot. NRFH- compatible. Back in our world, Jas cranks up the stereo and dances the night away...much to the horror of the Fellowship. Only Pippin and Merry get into the groove, as they learn how to crump their way to the top. Well...not really, but it's enough that their enthusiasm causes them to perform live in Aragorn's bedroom- at 3 in the morning. With Sam as DJ, Merry and Pippin as the rappers/dancers, will our poor King of Gondor ever get some rest? And why does nobody else remember it in the morning?
My non-NRFH LOTR story:
The Ringbearer: Completely non-canon with the bookverse, movieverse or any other ‘verse' except my own. Haldir and Boromir are alive; and Frodo, Gandalf, ect. are still around. Tolkien lied about the whole bloody story, and so the entire cast of LOTR has gathered together to figure out what to do about it. Making a movie of their own sounds good. However, that's easier said than done. What with Radagast turning Saruman's nose purple, the authoress dropping Donald Trump through a plothole, Galadriel tossing people into fountains, Sauron trying to magikate his metallic bottle-top, and Merry getting his lines mixed up, this might become a twelve-hour reel full of bloopers!
Harry Potter stories:
Inside of Me: Still working on it! I promise you!
Cheese and Wine: Lavender is Juliet. Draco is Romeo. Seamus the jealous boyfriend. Hermione the scheming genius. When Hermione vows to help Lavender get rid of Malfoy during Hogwart's production of 'Romeo and Juliet', she didn't expect her carefully laid out plans to go so awry. What happened in between the collapsing ladder and the singing bathtub to make her start calling him 'Draco'? What happened in between the botched essay and the flying broomstick to make him feel remorse? Very funny. Pranks and hexes galore!
Songs Without Words: Set to the first two books of Mendelssohn's songs without words, this is a series of vignettes, one-shots and memories that spans the time of the Marauders, to after the Second Great War. Who will get Hermione? Will Neville ever learn to love Potions? What really happened to the Marauder's Map before it was found again? A quiet conversation between Remus and Sirius. An introspection by Blaise. Lily's dream. Ron's nightmare. Sometimes two stories will link, sometimes no names will be mentioned whatsoever. Ranges from sweet, to angsty, to mischievious, to tragic, to peaceful, to exuberant. Pairings are secret, see if you can guess (although it's pretty easy).
The Concept of Irony: Oneshot. Post-war. Draco and Hermione have an interesting, and...perhaps...civil conversation. Must have been the sun.
Black Haru goes...Pink?: Not final title! When Ayame writes a play to celebrate the end of the Sohma curse, Haru goes a little...nuts. Not to blame him, after all, who wouldn't when faced with a fifty sheet screenplay of 'How The Great And Powerful Ayame Saved The Day Single-Handedly While Tohru The Sweet And Everybody Else Was Wondering What To Do: Also Called, When Haru And Kyo Dressed Up As Girls To Distract Yuki From Guarding The Refrigerator'. With Shigure's peverted ways, Tohru's apologies, and Hana's poison waves, tempers will skyrocket. And when Ayame decrees that they must somehow re-enact the animal transformations, even Black Haru is no match for what comes next. Kyo/Tohru. Haru/Rin. Yuki/Machi.
will update later.
Food Babies: According to Muugen's character, there will be excessive cursing. Jin overhears Fuu muttering to herself...that she's pregnant?! Immediately confronting Muugen, the two men discover that neither of them know who the ‘father' is. With Fuu blissfully oblivious to their going's on, our heroes try to prepare themselves for the dreaded birth, and protect Fuu from getting into her usual trouble. Too bad samurai never learned modern catchphrases!
Avatar: Last Airbender:
will update later. BUT IT'S ZUTARA! (and maayyybe Taang/ with some Sukka (? Suki/Sokka) stuck in there. Fuzzies all round.)
Pirates of The Caribbean:
will update later.