Unknown Quotes and Sayings:

'I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it'

'I once shot a man just to watch him die...but I got distracted and missed it'

'Who ever said nothing was impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door'

'Last night I played a blank tape at full blast, the mime next door when nuts'

'A good friend will keep you secrets when you ask them too. A true friend will keep their mouths shut without you asking them'

'A friend tries to help you when you get hurt, a true friends sits there laughing their ass off saying, "Dude, you're an idiot!"'

'A friend helps you up when you fall; a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"'

'A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain; a best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"'

'A friend wipes your tears when your rejected; a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"'

'A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"'

'When you're blue, a good friend will ask what's wrong. A true friend will try to dislodge what's chocking you'

'Wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman"

'Don't follow in my footsteps...I walk into walls'

'Silence is golden, duck tape is silver'

'Duck tape is like the force: it has a light and dark side and holds the universe together'

'I'm the man of the house, and i have my wife's permission to say so'

'We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public'

'Everyday I think people can't get any stupider, and everyday I am proven horribly wrong'

'Destroy is such a strong word! I prefer 'redecorated for free''

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye'

'IF Tylenol, Duck Tape, or a Band Aid can't fix it, then you have a serious problem'

'Always remember; when a guy sweeps you off you're feet, he is in the perfect position to drop you on your ass'

'Love doesn't always heal wounds. Strength doesn't always assure victory. Denial doesn't always prevent the inevitable. But revenge is always sweet to the bitter'

'If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?'

'Help I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet'

'I ran into my ex the other day... Put in reverse, AND HIT HIM AGAIN!"

'Success comes before work... only in the dictionary'

'Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are okay, you're it'

'My mother told me not to talk to strangers. I never talk to myself anymore'

'Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them'

'I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing'

'I laugh in the face of danger, then I hide til it goes away'

'Some people are like slinkies, they're not much to look at, but you can't help but smile when they fall down the stairs'

'Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people aren't following me!'

'When life gives you lemons make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how on earth, heaven, and hell you did it'

'My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems'

'You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me'

'If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried'

'If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk'

'You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same'

'I'm an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight'

'Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away... he hates that'

'I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory'

'There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't'

'Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, just as a beautiful monkey'

'Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject'

'They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?'

'Just be yourself everyone else is taken'

'Strength is no more than how well you hide your pain'