Bio Fav: Stories . Authors
hi I'm emomusickid
i don't do any story's in fan fiction i only review so you might find me reviewing your story some time from now
the story's i review are:mediator,step up,twilight,she's the man,rush hour
Did u just call me a bitch because a bitch is a dog, dogs bark, barks on a tree, tree's r nature, and nature is beautiful, so ya, thanks for the compliment.
I can be Mrs. Cullen, you can be Mrs. Black; you can die, I can live forever.
Parents spend the first part of your life teaching you to walk and talk, then they spend the rest telling you to sit down and shut up.
One day ur prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
Guys are like slinkies... it's always fun to watch 'em fall down the stairs.
Our eyes are placed in front, because it's always more important to look ahead than back.
When I'm at Hogwart's I will not sing "I'm off to see the wizard." when sent to the headmaster's office.
Life was so simple when boys had cooties.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks I call my friends.
I'm the kind of person who will burst out in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
I agree with the dictionary, girls before guys, partying before studying, friends before love.
Right now i have amnesia and deja vu at the same time, I think i've forgotten this before.
There are 2 kinds of people in the world; ones who can count, and ones who can't.
They say; guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well i think if u stood there and yelled BANG, u wouldn't kill to many people.
When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh when everyone tries to figure out what the heck you did.
When life gives you lemons, chuck 'em at the people you hate.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
What are the 3 words gauranteed to humiliate every man? "Hold my purse."
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
Just when i was getting used to yesterday, today came along!
If you're in love with one of Steph Meyers fictional characters (coughJaspercough) copy and paste this to your profile.
if people think you are mentally insane, copy and paste this to ur profile.
if they are right... copy and paste this to ur profile.
if you ever made faces in front of a security camera, copy and paste this.
When you're right no one remembers, when you're wrong no one forgets.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people... then kill them.
if you know someone who should b ran over by a bus, copy and paste this to ur profile.
my bff is insane, if ur bff is insane, copy this to ur profile.
Hey, I have a joke, Team Mike. LOL ain't that funny?
Friends don''t let friends diss twilight.
You know ur obsessed with twilight when you ask ur parents continually to move to Forks.
GOOD FRIENDS will help you up when u fall down, BEST FRIENDS will push u back down and laugh
GOOD FRIENDS will ask u why ur crying, BEST FRIENDS will be waiting with a shovel to bury the loser who made u cry
GOOD FRIENDS will tell u, u can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him and say "u have 7 days 2 live"
GOOD FRIENDS don't let u do stupid things, BEST FRIENDS don't let u do stupid things alone
GOOD FRIENDS will buy u lunch, BEST FRIENDS will eat urs.
GOOD FRIENDS never ask 4 food, BEST FRIENDS r the reason u don't have any
GOOD FRIENDS call ur parents Mrs./Mr., BEST FRIENDS call them mom/dad
GOOD FRIENDS never seen u cry, BEST FRIENDS cry with u
GOOD FRIENDS know a few things about u, BEST FRIENDS can write a book about u with direct qoutations from u
GOOD FRIENDS will leave u behind if that's what the crowd is doing, BEST FRIENDS will kick the crowds butt 4 leaving u
GOOD FRIENDS will knock on ur door, BEST FRIENDS will walk in and call "I'm Home."
GOOD FRIENDS will take ur drink away when they think you've had enough, BEST FRIENDS will watch u stumbling around and say. "Girl, drink the rest of that, u know wer'e not wasters around here."
GOOD FRIENDS will talk crap to the people who talk crap about u, BEST FRIENDS will knock them the crap out.
no, i don't have PMS i just really hate u.
I'm the girl who can watch a ton of horror movies and not get scared, but i'm also the kind of girl who screams at the top of my lungs when waffles pop out of the toaster.
Girlz r like phones, they like to be held, talked to, and when u press the wrong buttons you get disconnected.
Big girls don't cry, we kick butt.
Break my bff's heart, I'll break ur face.
Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy a barbie doll.
Sweety ur voice is so fake u make Barbie look real.
I wish the kids would just give the rabbit the freakin' trix already.
How to get kicked out of WalMart:
Make a trail of tomato juice leading to the womens bathroom.
Put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
Set up a tent in the sporting goods department and tell random customers u'll invite them in if they bring pillows.
When a clerk asks if they can help u, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't u people just leave me alone?"
Look into the security camera & use it as a mirror to pick ur nose
While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if they know where the anti-depressent's are.
Dart around humming mission impossible theme.
When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, take a fetal position and scream. "NO!NO! It's the voices again!"
Go to a dressing room, wait awhile, then yell. "There's no toilet paper in here!"
Get several bouncy balls, throw them down the big middle aisle and scream. "Pikachu, I choose you!"
37 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..." (Who else imagines Edward doing this in New Moon?)
It takes 46 musceles to frown, but only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
PMS, the only time of month i can be myself.
Abortion is just one more heart that was stopped, two more eyes that will never see, two more hands that will never touch, two more legs that will never run, one more mouth that will never speak. If ur against abortion repost this.
Boyfriends stab u in the heart, friends stab u in the back, but bestfriends don't carry knives.
God didn't make me and my bff sisters cause he knew our parents couldn't handle it.
Best friends shout "I LOVE YOU!" down the hall, not caring who thinks ur gay.
I'm the kind of girl who gets fired at an M&M company because I threw the W's away.
I'm the kind of girl who sit's in worl history class and plans to dominate the world.
I'm the kind of girl who wonders "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" then it hits me.
I'm the kind of girl who's favorite math problem is the following; slinkies+escalators= never ending fun.
People say it's alway's in the last place you look, well DUH! When you find it you stop looking.
Have you ever had the thought, "I'm bored." then you go and see how many times u can flush the tiolet b4 u get yelled at.
We wish u a merry twiliight, we wish u a merry twilight, we wish u a merry twilight, and happy new moon.
Be a rebel, open the wrong side of the popcorn bag.
Toasters are evil, I mean good things don't go around popping bread out scaring the hell out of you.
May I please borrow ur pen, I need 2 stab u in the eye.
Wow, you look like the princess from my nightmare.
Fine go tell your friends I'm crazy and obsessive, I'll just tell mine you're gay.
Yeah, I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet.
Me: Jacob Black, why don't you take a seat next to that guy who killed 70 people. Jacob: Okay. jake sits next t him, man chops jacob's head off Me: 71.
Eddie is sparklepire!
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. (i'm the leader)
Normal people worry me.
Angels have PMS to.
All I want is everything.
REHAB WAS AWESOME THEY GAVE ME THIS JACKET WHERE I CAN LIKE HUG MY SELF ALL DAY!! O_0... =)
On my wall there is a "New Moon" dent, where i threw the book at the wall when Edward left Bella.
Sarcasm; it's easier than dealing with stupid people.
The snack that smiles back... until you bite their head off.
(bites rainbow)- It does not taste like skittles!
Jasper laughs at you mood ring!
If you really think about it, vampires are real. I mean look at America's goverment, they're sucking us dry.
POP! I popped a baloon in your face. Now your staring at the computer like it's the idiot. No, maybe it's you. Because baloons can't explode on the computer. Well, who's stupid now? And it's still me.
Who art in Forks,
Hallowed be thy sparkles.
Thy Volvo comes, thy will be fast,
On Earth as it is in the meadow.
Give you this day, our daily blood;
Forgive us our heartbeats,
As we worship Carlisle for giving you life.
Lead us into temptation,
Deliver us to you.
For thine is the vampire,
The music and the hotness,
For ever and ever,
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie's sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
Whenever my hear fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfil spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know!
THings i learned from Twilight:
1. You can enjoy the bouquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them. (Well...90)
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted...alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise
On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how??)
On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought??...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
(And I am taking this...because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
On packet of Nobbys'
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed eat to that stuff we cook?!)
You know you live in 2oo9 when
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You havent played solitare with real cards for years.
3.) The reson for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screename or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the House for the remote than press the buttons on the TV.
6.) Your boss dosn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read the list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read the list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice there wasn't a number 5.
10.) You scroll up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
Having the love of you're life say "we can still be friends" is like having you're dog die and your mother saying you can still keep it.
If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they spread their 6-AM cheer to Martians, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.
If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer,GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY CHERRIOS
That is called a wall. but beware the wall is solid. yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me, for i have attempted this many times before.
I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.
Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark
If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.
╔══╦══╦══╗ You have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you have it too
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you moron.
You say Taylor...
I say Jackson...
You say Jacob...
I say Edward...
You say Harry Potter
I say Cedric Diggory
You say Pg: 282 in Twilight...
I say Pg: 113-117 in Breaking Dawn...
You say you like hot guys...
I say I LOVE Cold Guys Jasper...
You say Human...
I say Vampires...
You say Real Vampire...
I say Vegetarian Vampire...
You say Team Jacob...
I say YOU ARE A MORON!:
██▓▒░ ░▒▓████▓▒░ ░▒▓█████▓▒
_ _EDWARD _ _CULLEN _
██▓▒░ ░▒▓████▓▒░ ░▒▓█████▓▒
Copy and paste this in your profile if you would gladly drive to Forks, kidnap Jacob Black, and slap him with a rubber chicken until he admitted that Bella and Edward belong together, and that you are the awesomest person ever.
When YOU Meet A GUY AT WORK Named Edwin Kullen AND See IT AS A SIGN
Destiny tried to take my twilight books. Destiny isn’t with us anymore.
If you have so many dreams about Twilight that you have lost count, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself, copy and past this to your profile.
Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary.