My Stories . Bio Fav: Stories . Authors
Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash! Fall in love. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at a stupid joke. Cry. Get revenge. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell the asshole what you feel. Let someone know what they're missing. Laugh til your stomach hurts. LIVE LIFE!
I like to put songs in my stories because a song can say more than words sometimes.
A girl and her boyfriend were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle.
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: no it's not. please, it's so scary.
Guy: then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now please slow down.
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
(She gives him a big hug)
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, it's really bothering me.
The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that his brakes weren't working, but he didn't want his girlfriend to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loves him one last time. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live, even though that meant he would die. If you would do the same thing for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile.
~If you are so obsessed with Twilight and its STILL funny , copy and paste.
~If you get sugar high off of carrots, or a slice of cake, or a small bowl of ice~cream, or 3 mini chocolate bars etc. copy this to your profile.
~If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile
~If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan~fictions, copy this onto your profile
~If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy and paste this into your profile.
Most girls don't realise these things;
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club (that is the best part of dating is cuddling!)
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care
But most of all
For not being sorry anymore
That you can't accept me for who I am
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
That I cared
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
Are humans that stupid??
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
"Put on fork and eat."
(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Everytime there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know
~Copy and paste this on your profile if you're a true Twilighter/Fanpire/etc...~
Mommy..Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"...Copy and Paste this if you almost cried reading it!
96 percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent that does put this in your profile.
If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon, Copy and paste this to your profile
If you think that disclaimers are the most annoying things EVER Copy and paste this to your profile
If you've ever burst into song for no reason Copy and paste this to your profile
If you know someone that should be hit by a bus Copy and paste this to your profile
If you think that Twilight is the best book know to woman... (And man!) Copy/paste this into your profile.
If, when you have a boy, you'll seriously consider naming him Edward...copy/paste this into your profile
If, when you have a girl, you'll seriously consider naming her Isabella...copy/paste this into your profile
If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you are willing to admit that you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen, a completely fictional character...copy/paste this into your profile
If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen out of a chair backwards...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP sign...copy/paste this into your profile.
If, for no reason, you have laughed at a part in a movie that really wasn't funny...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.
If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you are in love with a Twilight character, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you are Team Edward, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.
If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.
If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.
If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.
If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your pro!
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you think Bella is out of her mind for saying no to Edward's proposal in New Moon and you want to hit her hard upside the head with a blunt axe, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile
If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.
If you have ever become so obsessed with something that it is NOT even funny anymore and people think you’re insane, copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.
If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile
If you think the Coca-coca Puff Turky-Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.
If one of your best friends IS insane, copy this into your profile.
If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this to your profile.
If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.
If there are times where you wanna annoy people, just for the heck of it copy this to your profile.
If you like Subway, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you spend multiple hours a day reading or writing or a combination of both, copy this onto your profile.
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do drugs and alcohol. If you like bagels, copy this into your profile.
93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile
If you have read past 2 in the morning, copy this onto your profile
If you get ticked and throw a fit until all the people in the room leave because someone said the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy this onto your profile
If you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door
If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile
If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenager grls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.
I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.
AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s including Bella Disorder.
AV is Addicted to Vampires
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!
My night in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.
Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
If you think Edward Cullen is the cutest boy on the planet copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile
If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Cullen, copy this into your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you call everyone in the phone book that has the last name Cullen. Crazy is when you honestly belive Edward exists. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
Click Here for Affect & Effect Pictures
How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell 'fetch'!
Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as or more beautiful then herself.
She came back with a mirror...
How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!
Jasper is sexy. Too sexy for his shirt. Too sexy that it hurts. Thats why it looks like he's in pain
Edward Cullen bites...pillows
Remember girls, if a boy ever ignores you it's because he's trying to resist your blood
What happened to the man who kept a secret from Edward Cullen?
Nothing, Edward already knew what the secret was!
I poured glitter on my boyfriend so that he would look like Edward Cullen.
I went to La Push and all i got was a stupid imprint
Emmett stood across the volvo from Edward and screamed DAMN IT EDWARD STOP DAZZLING ME!!
Today I made Carlisle feel like he was in love with Edward AGAIN
Last night Bella raped me on Isle Esme
karaoke night pictures click here