Bio Fav: Stories . Authors
Name: John Dowd
Sex: Yes please! (I'm male, if anyone is wondering)
Favorite Authors: Jim Butcher, J. K. Rowling, Christopher Paolini, XD-385 from DeviantArt, and anyone that I've faved.
Favorite Bands/Singers: Journey, The All American Rejects, Queen, Boston, The Police, Simple Minds, Foreigner, The Rolling Stones, Guns N Roses, The Beatles, Def Leppard, The Fray, Eagles, Kansas, AC/DC, Three Days Grace, Nickelback, Green Day, Foo Fighters, Evanescence, Coldplay, The Script, Breaking Benjamin, Disturbed, Bon Jovi, Switchfoot, Steve Perry, Rise Against, Daughtry, Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Pink Flyod, Mumford and Sons, Simon & Garfunkel, Louis Armstrong
Favorite Movies: Transformers (2007), Transformers Revenge of the Fallen, Transformers Dark of the Moon, Harry Potter, Spider-Man, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings
Favorite Books: Harry Potter, Dresden Files, Inheritance Cycle
Favorite Video Games: Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, Windwaker, Twilight Princess, & Skyward Sword-Assassin's Creed I, II, Brotherhood, Revelations, & III-PROTOTYPE 1 & 2-Asura's Wrath-Dishonored-Bioshock
Favorite MARVEL hero: Spider-Man
Favorite DC Comics hero: Batman
Favorite TV Show: NCIS
Favorite Cartoon: Family Guy
Favorite Cartoon Character: Peter Griffin
Favorite anime/manga: Naruto
Favorite anime/manga character: Naruto Uzumaki
A Really Good Website: http://www.pandora.com/
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.
Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.
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Put this on your page if you love NARUTO X HINATA (and to help them gain world domination mwhaha MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!) (ALL HAIL FANDOM!!)
The Laws of Anime Version 6.0
Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito
#1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.
#2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
#3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
#4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.
#5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.
#6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
#7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
#8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
#9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).
#10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.
#11. Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".
#12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
#13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.
#14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.
#15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.
#16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.
#17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.
#18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.
#19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.
#20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
#21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...
#22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
#23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.
#24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.
#25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
#26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.
#27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.
#28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
#29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
#30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
#31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.
#32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
#33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.
#34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
#35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.
#36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
#37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.
#38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
#39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...
#40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
#41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.
#42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.
#43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.
#44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.
#45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.
#46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.
#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.
#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.
#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff
#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.
#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.
#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.
#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.
#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.
#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.
#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.
#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
A negative charge will result in the
#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)
#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)
#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.
#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.
#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.
#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)
#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)
#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.
#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.
#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and
#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.
#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.
#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.
#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.
#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?
#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)
#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.
#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...
#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.
#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.
#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.
#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toasted.
#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!
#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)
#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
b) Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toasted.
#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.
#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.
#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...
#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.
#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.
#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.
#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.
#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)
#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)
#99- Law of Sparklines- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...
#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs' Rules
Rule #1: Never let suspects stay together.
Rule #1: Never screw over your partner.
Rule #2: Always wear gloves at a crime scene.
Rule #3: Don't believe what you're told. Double check.
Rule #3: Never be unreachable.
Rule #4: The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person - if you must. There is no third best.
Rule #6: Never say you're sorry. It's a sign of weakness.
Rule #7: Always be specific when you lie.
Rule #8: Never take anything for granted.
Rule #9: Never go anywhere without a knife.
Rule #11: When the job is done, walk away.
Rule #12: Never date a coworker.
Rule #13: Never, ever involve a lawyer.
Rule #15: Always work as a team.
Rule #18: It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.
Rule #22: Never, ever bother Gibbs in interrogation.
Rule #23: Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live.
Rule #38: Your case, your lead.
Rule #39: There is no such thing as coincidence.
Rule #51: Sometimes, you're wrong.
Don't ask why some of the numbers are repeated, I don't know why.
If you watch NCIS, put this in your profile!
REST IN PIECE TOONAMI.
From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget.
Tom and the Absolution
A great Character and a funny host
You will live on forever in this.
If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and now wish to honor it post this on your profile.
You say BABY PINK
I say BLOOD RED
You say HANNAH MONTANA
I say THREE DAYS GRACE
You say ZAC EFRON
I say NARUTO
You say RAP
I say ROCK
You say I'M WEIRD
I say YES I AM
92 of the teenage population has moved on to RAP.
If YOU are part of the 8 that still headbang and love rock then put this on ur site!
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.
If your obsessed with dragons, foxes, wolves and fantasy copy and paste this in your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile.
If you're addicted to anime,copy & paste this into your profile.
Zabuza Momochi & Haku: There were no ninja truer to the code.
Hiruzen Sarutobi: Friend, leader, grandfather. No words can describe what you have done for us all.
Jiraiya of the sannin: The greatest pimp with a heart of gold.
Kin Tsuchi: Tragic end for her all because of her loyalty to the wrong person.
Tayuya: Beautiful, deadly and a potty mouth...she just simply had her loyalties to the wrong person as well.
Itachi Uchiha: The compassionate Uchiha with no emotions.
Deidara of the rock: Like him, Art is truly beautiful when it is made and destroyed with
Asuma Sarutobi: Sensei, guardian, friend, like his father before him, his sacrifice was not in vain.
If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are the greatest pairing, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger, Thymistacles , Tenshi Namikaze, Arashigan16, Celtic-Fighter, Ultimate-Zelda-fan
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile please.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it, Kiba Obsessed Demonic Angel, Digital98, Anime-Kunoichi,Chinbaldo,Naruto Ninja44,May and Dawn are the best, rst64tlc, Gammatron, Ultimate-Zelda-fan
Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive
Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic
Her only friend was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair
She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound
Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure
A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?
But she grabs her bear
And softly cry's
She loves her parents
But they want her to die
She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking," God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"
Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did
Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by
Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made
She thrust the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "
The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying
Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse
One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor
It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms
If you hate child abuse then re-post this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul!!
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her while she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia
97% of teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen from Twilight) standing on top of a sky scraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3% who would sit there eating pop corn screaming "DO A FLIP!" then copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to this list: C-Shell12203, Hahli nuva, FanFLover 10/CathyRulz4Ever, SkyWhisper, Trinhtrin, Justintheconstantreviewer, lordtoastkage, Ultimate-Zelda-fan
If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you tnihk tihs is aswemoe cpoy and psate in yuor porlife.
Chuck Norris Jokes:
If you are offended by these jokes, I apologize.
Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris can eat a rubix cube and poop it out solved.
There is no theory of evolution, there are only the animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
There are two kinds of people: wimps and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't pushing his body up, he is pushing the world down.
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity, twice.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
Chuck Norris can taste lies.
Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends in blank forms and a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. He has never had to pay taxes.
Chuck Norris can make a woman orgasm simply by pointing and saying 'Boo-ya'
Chuck Norris doesn't write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.
Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
When Ranma Saotome killed the Phoenix God King Saffron, Chuck Norris, being a half a world away, looked up in pride, smiled and said “that’s my boy!”
Chuck Norris has a Chance in Hell.
Originally the Joker was Chuck’s arch-foe, but one roundhouse kick later, his skin turned white, his hair green and he headed for Gotham.
You really want to know how Joker got those scars? Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the face.
The reason why Outworld hadn’t went for their tenth win against Earth realm is because Raiden threatened to get Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can defeat Darkside’s optic blasts with a roundhouse kick. (There Is a pic of this on Deviantart.com)
Chuck got Sparda, Dante’s father, out of hell.
Master Chief is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was sent ten thousand years to the past, met and married a goddess who in turn gave him a daughter. We know the child as: Sailor Moon.
Chuck doesn’t wash his dishes, they get clean out of fear.
Chuck Norris is so tough that he doesn't have a chin under his beard, there is only another fist.
The Apocalypse will occur when Chuck Norris wants it to.
Chuck Norris makes the world work in mysterious ways so that no-one can figure out that he controls everything that we know about.
Chuck Norris does not hunt, hunting would imply the possibility of failure.
The fastest way to a man's heart is Chuck Norris' fist.
Slender Man doesn't find chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds Slender Man!
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word
in each line from the top.
Betcha you can't resist passing it on. LOL!
Normal People vs. Yu-Gi-Oh fans
Normal people: Rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Would rather rely on Ishizu for future predictions.
normal people: Say "OMG!"
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Say "Oh my RA! (OMR!)"
normal people: Say "Shut up or I'll tell on you!"
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Say "Shut up or I'll steal Seto's check book and blame on you!"
normal people: Think bad guys are very ugly.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know a lot better and absolutely love Bakura and Marik.
normal people: When being chased yell "HELP ME SOMEBODY!"
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: When being chased yell "HELP ME ATEM!"
normal people: Get nervous or scared during thunderstorms.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know that there might be a duel between Yami Yugi and Yami Bakura, and that one of them might be shirtless.
normal people: Would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Would go directly to Domino City or find a way to Ancient Egypt.
normal people: Would be scared when they see people in purple cloaks chasing them.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Just know that Marik sends his rare hunters to be sure that you are fine.
normal people: Get freaked out when they see scary people on motorcycles.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know a lot better and know that it is possibly Marik.
normal people: Think Yu-Gi-Oh is just a stupid children’s card game.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know a lot better and know that it even was in the Egyptian past.
normal people: Think little people are stupid.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Think that Mokuba and Yugi are way too cute to be stupid.
normal people: Would never go to an orphanage.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Know better and go a lot to orphanages to check out if there is someone like Seto.
normal people: Think Egypt is stupid.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Would go immediately to Egypt, because maybe Marik or Atem is there!
normal people: Would never buy to expensive thing because they might become out of money.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Would just kidnap Mokuba and force Seto to shop with them.
normal people: Solve all their problems by suing people.
Yu-Gi-Oh fans: Solve all their problems by playing a children's card game.
Normal people: Sing Lady GaGa
Yu-Gi-Oh! (abridged) fans: Sing Leather Pants and Brooklyn Rage! (and receive many awkward stares XD)
If you are a YGOTAS fan put this on your profile
Some of my favorite quotes:
"We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita; Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty and, to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says, 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.' I suppose we all thought that, one way or another."―J. Robert Oppenheimer
"SILENCE! I KEEL YOU!"―Achmed the Dead Terrorist
"Shut the hell up!"―Walter
"And now for something completely different."--John Cleese, Monty Python's Flying Circus
...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O LORD, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the LORD did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... [At this point, the friar is urged by Brother Maynard to "skip a bit, brother"]... And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."--Brother Maynard, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange"--Alphonse Elric
"For those of you who are black and are tempted to fill with -- be filled with hatred and mistrust of the injustice of such an act, against all white people, I would only say that I can also feel in my own heart the same kind of feeling. I had a member of my family killed, but he was killed by a white man."―Robert F. Kennedy
"People can be idiots."―Me
"We have nothing to fear, but fear itself!"―Franklin Delano Roosevelt
"All I'm saying is simply this, that all life is interrelated, that somehow we're caught in an inescapable network of mutuality tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. For some strange reason, I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality."―Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Ben, make sure you play 'Take My Hand, Precious Lord' in the meeting tonight. Play it real pretty."―Last words of Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Might controls everything, and without strength you cannot protect anything, let alone yourself."―Vergil, Devil May Cry 3
"And if I become a demon, so be it. I will endure the exile. Anything to protect her."―Nero, Devil May Cry 4
"Though a fight every now and then does make life a little more interesting, don't ya think?"―Dante, Devil May Cry 4
"My name is Alex Mercer. I'm the reason for all this. They call me a killer, a monster, a terrorist... I am all of these things."―Alex Mercer, Prototype
"My name is Sergeant James Heller, and I will destroy Alex Mercer."―James Heller, Prototype 2
"Let's welcome chaos!"―Arkham, Devil May Cry 3
"When a person… has something important they want to protect… that's when they can become truly strong"--Haku, Naruto
"I'm not gonna run away, I never go back on my word! That's my nindō: my ninja way!--Naruto Uzumaki, Naruto
"I'm not superman, so I can't say anything big like I'll protect everyone on earth. I'm not a modest guy who will say it's enough if I can protect as many people as my two hands can handle either. I want to protect a mountain-load of people."―Ichigo Kurosaki, Bleach
"Abandon your fear. Look forward. Move forward and never stop. You'll age if you pull back. You'll die if you hesitate."―Zangetsu, Bleach
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!"―Steve Carrel, Anchorman
"A slap to the face is an insult—a slap to the back of the head is a wake up call"―Leroy Jethro Gibbs, NCIS
"I'm surrounded by idiots!"―Scar, The Lion King
"Those that break the rules and regulations are scum. But those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum! If I'm going to be called scum either way, I'd rather break the rules! And if that's not being a proper shinobi, then I'll destroy that idea!"―Obito Uchiha, Naruto
"Sorry I'm late, I'm afraid I got lost on the path of life."―Kakashi Hatake, Naruto
"The next generation will always surpass the previous one. It's one of the never-ending cycles in life."―Kakashi Hatake, Naruto
"First I whip it out, then I thrust it! With! Great! Force! Every angle, it penetrates! Until, with great strength, I ram it in! In the end, we're all satisfied! And you are set free!"―Dante, Devil May Cry 4
"If you don't shut up I'm going to use my Shinigami Chop to split your head open"―Shinigami-sama, Soul Eater
"Sitting there in the dark, I had a chance to think about a lot of things, including the nature of the world itself. And lengthy consideration, I realized something; when all is said and done, the world is a very unknowable place. On the surface, all appears rational, orderly. But what truly lies beyond that thin veneer of reason? Stability and superiority? Or chaos and madness? What are we truly made of in the end? Is there truly any meaning to the lives we lead? Or are we nothing but hollow vessels? These are questions we can never answer, for we cannot see through the world's fragile layer of skin. So we live our lives filled with uncertainty, never knowing what we truly are or what the future may bring, all we can do is imagine. Life becomes an unsolvable mystery with any number of twists and turns at the end. And that's enough to fill any soul with terror!"―Ashura, Soul Eater
"The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together."―Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
"This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper."―T.S. Elliot, The Hollow Men
"With great power, there must also come great responsibility."―Spider-Man A.K.A Peter Parker
"This party's gettin' crazy! Let's rock!"―Dante, Devil May Cry 3
"When there is no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth."―Unknown, Dawn of the Dead
"Bite my shiny metal ass!"―Bender, Futurama
"Good news everyone!"--Professor Hubert Farnsworth, Futurama
"D'oh!"―Homer, The Simpsons
"When I was very young, I was foolish enough to believe that our Creed would bring an end to all these conflicts. If only I had the humility to say to myself, I have seen enough for one life, I've done my part. Then again, there is no greater glory than fighting to find the truth."―Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad, Assassin's Creed: Revelations
"I have lived my life as best I could, not knowing its purpose, but drawn forward like a moth to a distant moon; and here at last, I discover a strange truth. That I am only a conduit, for a message that eludes my understanding."―Ezio Auditore da Firenze, Assassin's Creed: Revelations
"When I was a young man, I had liberty, but I did not see it. I had time, but I did not know it. And I had love, but I did not feel it. Many decades would pass before I understood the meaning of all three. And now, in the twilight of my life, misunderstanding has past into contentment. Love, liberty, and time: once so disposable, are the fuels that drive me forward. And love, most especially, mio caro. For you, our children, our brothers and sisters. And for the vast and wonderful world that gave us life, and keeps us guessing. Endless affection, mio Sofia.
Forever yours, Ezio Auditore."―Ezio Auditore da Firenze, Assassin's Creed: Embers
"In the name of liberty, I will fight the enemy regardless of their allegiance. While men of courage write history of this day, the future of our land depends on those who are truly free."―Ratonhnhaké:ton/Connor, Assassin's Creed III
"I seek liberty and freedom, not for myself, but for those whom such fundamental rights are denied. I am their shield, their sword, their only hope. The roads I travel are dark, but they bring me closer to the light."―Aveline de Grandpré, Assassin's Creed III: Liberation
"My father wanted this life, Anna, not I. He came to this country with a dream and made the Narodnaya Volya his cause. I do not know if I have the strength to serve the Order of Assassins as he did."―Nikolai Orelov, Assassin's Creed: The Fall
"In a few short months my life changed forever. I know my easiest days are behind me, but I don't want them back- not now. My name is Desmond Miles, and I am an assassin. I am an assassin."―Desmond Miles, Assassin's Creed: Revelations
"I am Vengeance. I am The Night. I am BATMAN!"―Batman/Bruce Wayne, Batman: The Animated Series
"Our life is made by the death of others."―Leonardo da Vinci
"As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death"--Leonardo da Vinci
"Iron rusts from disuse, stagnant water loses its purity, and in cold weather becomes frozen, even so does inaction sap the vigors of the mind."--Leonardo Da Vinci.
"Before all else, be armed."―Machiavelli, The Prince
"With blood and rage of crimson red, ripped from a corpse so freshly dead, together with our hellish hate, we'll burn you all, that is your Fate!"―Red Lantern Corps Oath, Green Lantern
"Don't touch that. That's mine!"―Agent Orange, Green Lantern
"In Blackest day. In Brightest night! Beware your fears made into light. Let those who try to stop what's right -- burn like his power -- Sinestro's might!"―Sinestro Corps Oath, Green Lantern
"In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight! Let those who worship evil's might, beware my power, Green Lantern's light!"―Green Lantern Corps Oath, Green Lantern
"In days of peace, in nights of war, obey the laws forever more. Misconduct must be answered for, swear us the Chosen - the Alpha Corps!"―Alpha Lantern Corps Oath, Green Lantern
"In fearful day, in raging night, with strong hearts full, our souls ignite! When all seems lost in the War of Light, look to the stars, for hope burns bright!"―Blue Lantern Corps Oath, Green Lantern
"Tor lorek san, bor nakka mur, Natromo faan tornek wot ur, Ter lantern ker lo Abin Sur, Taan lek lek nok -- Formorrow Sur!"―Indigo Tribe Oath, Green Lantern
"For Hearts Long Lost. And Full of Fright. For Those Alone In Blackest Night. Accept Our Ring and Join Our Fight -- Love Conquers All -- With Violet Light!"―Star Sapphire Corps Oath, Green Lantern
"The Blackest Night falls from the skies. The darkness grows as all light dies. We crave your hearts and your demise. By my black hand, the dead shall rise!"―Black Lantern Corps Oath, Green Lantern
Heroes get remembered, but legends never die.―The Sandlot (film)
May The Force be with you.--Star Wars
"I have a bad feeling about this."--Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
"Do whatever you think is right!!! That's the way of the Fairy Tail Mages!!!!"--Makarov Dreyar, Fairy Tail
"My friends, it has often been said that I like war.
My friends, I like war... No, friends, I love war! I love holocausts. I love blitzkriegs. I love defensive lines. I love sieges, charges, I love mop-up operations, and retreats.
Wars across prairies, in streets, in trenches, in grasslands, in frozen tundras, through deserts, on the sea, in the air, I love every act of war that can occur upon this earth.
I love blasting the enemy to smithereens with artillery salvos that thunder across the lines of battle. My heart leaps with joy whenever a soldier is tossed high into the air and cut to pieces by well placed sniper rounds. And there is nothing like a tank operator using a Tiger 88 to destroy enemy tanks. And the feeling that comes when a soldier runs screaming from his blazing tank only to be mowed down by heavy machine gun fire, is such an exquisite feeling.
Like when ranks of infantry brandish their bayonets rushing into the enemy line. It moves me deep within my heart to watch a fresh recruit stabbing over and over into the bloated chest of a long-dead enemy.
The sight of deserters being strung up from a street lamp is an irresistible pleasure. And there is nothing more arousing, than the sounds made by prisoners of war dropping like flies, screaming in agony as they're mowed down by ear piercing schmeissers!
When a band of pitiful resistance fighters makes their final stand with nothing but small arms, only to have their city smashed to atoms block by block by 4.8 ton bombshells, I'm in ecstasy.
I love it when my forces are ravaged by a Russian armored division. It's so sad to see towns and villages that were supposed to be defended at all costs, being laid to waste, their women and children being raped, and killed.
I love to be squashed under the heel of the British and American war machines. The humiliation, as my men crawl around like vermin, ducking the yark bombers flying overhead.
Gentlemen... All I ask for is war, a war so grand as to make Hell itself tremble. Gentlemen, I ask you as fellow brothers in arms, what is it that you really want? Do you wish for further war as I do? Do you wish for a merciless, bloody war? A war whose fury is built with iron, and lightning, and fire? Do you ask for war to sweep in like a tempest, leaving not even ravens to scavenge, from this Earth!?
Very well. Then kreig is what you shall have. We are a clenched fist, ready to strike down all who oppose us, with our might. But... After enduring over half a century wallowing in the darkness, for us, a simple "ordinary" war will no longer be sufficient. We need a MASSIVE war! A war beyond any other that man's history has ever known!
We are but a single battalion... The remnants of a defeated army numbering less than a thousand strong. However, I believe that each of you old warriors is equal to a thousand of their sickly soft children! We represent a force that could easily defeat an army of a million and one men! It is time for them to awake the ones who sent us screaming into oblivion, and who now lie sleeping. Let's drag them out of bed by the hair, and remind them of what we are! We will remind them of what it feels like to live in fear. We will remind them of the sound our jackboots make against their throats. We will remind them, that there are more things between Heaven and Hell than are dreamt of in their philosophy.
Our Kampfgruppe of one thousand vampires is going to burn this world down to ash. Yes, my friends! Soon, Europe's charred remains will illuminate the night sky! I have brought you all back just as I promised I would. Back to our favorite battlefield. Back to our beloved war! At last the sea lion has crossed the ocean and is heading up the hill. Attention all soldiers of the Millennium Battalion this is a message from your commander… friends, let’s bring them hell."--The Major, Hellsing
"The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame!"--Alucard, Hellsing
"Giving up is what kills people. It's only when a person refuses to give up no matter what they earn the right of walking down humanity's noble pathway."--Alucard, Hellsing
"Non nobis Domine, non nobis, sed Nomini Tuo da Gloriam. (Not to us God, not to us, but to Your Name Give Glory.)"―The motto, followed by the Templars, during the Crusades
"Even when your kind appears to triumph ... Still we rise again. And do you know why? It is because the Order is born of a realization. We require no creed. No indoctrination by desperate old men. All we need is that the world be as it is. And THIS is why the Templars will never be destroyed."--Haytham Kenway, Assassin's Creed III
"May the Father of Understanding guide us."--A Templar blessing, Assassin's Creed
"We work in the dark, to serve the light. We are Assassins."―Niccolò Machiavelli, Assassin's Creed II
"Laa shay'a waqi'un mutlaq bale kouloun moumkin. ("Nothing is true, everything is permitted" in Arabic)"--The Maxim of the Assassin's Creed, Assassin's Creed
"Stay your blade from the flesh of an innocent.
Hide in plain sight.
Never compromise the Brotherhood"--The Three Tenets of The Creed, Assassin's Creed
"Safety and peace be upon you."--An Assassin blessing, Assassin's Creed
"Remember kids, a smart man know when it's time to RUN LIKE A LITTLE BITCH!"--Kanta, Desert Punk
"Tell my tale to those who ask. Tell it truly, the ill deeds as well as the good, and let me be judged accordingly. The rest, is silence..."--Dinobot's last words, Beast Wars
"I said no! Dragon-Bot command you, Sub-Commander Kiss-Butt! Dragon-Bot not command Waspinator! Not any more! Waspinator sick of being evil! Sick of being Predacon! And Waspinator especially sick of getting blown to scrap all the time! Sooo, Waspinator quit! As of now, which means Ant-Bot and Two-Head can just pucker their mandibles and plant big, wet, juicy one right here on Waspinator's big . . . fat . . . stripy . . . "--Waspinator, Beast Wars: Transformers
"They may take away our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!" – William Wallace, Braveheart
Father forgive them, for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34).Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise (Luke 23:43).Woman, behold your son: behold your mother (John 19:26-27).My God, My God, why have you forsaken me, (Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34).I thirst (John 19:28).It is finished (John 19:30).Father, into your hands I commit my spirit (Luke 23:46). -- The Last sayings of Jesus on the cross.
"I. Am. Eternal!" -- Freddy Krueger, A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
"Che-che-che-hah-hah-hah" -- Pamela & Jason Voorhees, Friday the 13th
To the administration of Fanfiction.net,
I am one of many members of Fanfiction.net that is deeply concerned with your current actions on this site. The deletion of countless stories and numerous accounts has already called in massive protest, both in the form of authors publishing letters of worry and in two petitions against this sweep, one of which at the present moment has over 11,500 signatures, found on change(dot)org. However we feel that a more direct approach may also be needed to make our voices heard.
Many of us feel confused about this sudden sweep, as up to the present that you have, as we believed out of respect for the artistic freedom of us authors and the understanding that in our current society both violence and sex have become, largely due to the easy access of visual and acoustical material through the world wide web, such mundane parts of life that an average sixteen-year-old or older is well aware of them, and as such suited to read a story containing them, considering that many teenagers around the age of sixteen often already have direct and personal experience with sex, and indirect experience with violence through television, cinema and/or computer games, kept a tolerant stance regarding such content in our stories. We labored under the assumption that you were aware of the mixed ages of your members, and as such accepted that a thirty-year-old man may be neither willing nor able to write like a fourteen year old boy. We were also certain that you were well aware that certain genres such as romance, tragedy, horror, drama, angst, crime, and hurt/comfort need violence and/or sexual content on the higher levels of literature, as without it such genres quickly become stale and boring. Your sudden, unannounced and absolute purge of countless stories, without giving the authors a chance to edit their work, as such feels to many of us as nothing more than the callous and malicious stomping on months, if not years of hard work.
We were all assuming that you were aware of the spread ages of your users, how else would we explain the existence of the K and K-Plus Ratings, yet with your current actions many wonder why you have two whole ratings of stories for a group of users who are according to your own Terms of Service not supposed to be on this site, as your ToS clearly state Fanfiction.net is intended for users aged thirteen or older, yet none for the adults that make up a large percentage of the members on this site.
Your current purge of stories, while perhaps not illegal, although morally questionable as you are in some cases destroying stories for which your ToS clearly grants us ownership, has also concerned us authors for a different reason. Your current policy of removing stories and banning authors without warning and, as those who have received a notice of this, both intended and 'accidental' messages, know, without explanation as to what is wrong with the story, where in the story that part is, and what we should keep in mind for future stories we might write, is unnerving, as it leaves no option for debate or improvement. We authors are also not given a chance to edit and correct our work to save it from deletion. While this was not your intent, your actions worry us authors because they clearly show us that on Fanfiction.net we have no right to object an unjust treatment, nor do we have any kind of protection against the arbitrariness of the administration. We are not accusing you of maliciously deleting our stories without cause, we are merely noting the fact that the administration too is human, and as such not infallible to error.
Many of us fear that with this purge you are opening a rift between the administration of Fanfiction.net, and its users, which is something we hope to avoid. You may have intended this sweep to be a simple matter, however for many authors it is the end of an era, an era of artistic freedom on this site. We are all members of Fanfiction.net, and many of us were very proud of this fact and the site itself, striving to stay true to its motto: 'Unleash your imagination'. With the current policy of deletion, many of us fear that we will soon be faced with the choice of either leaving this site we all took pride in and derived joy from for years, or find ourselves in a shadow of the site we knew and loved, where censorship demands that we no longer unleash our imagination, but instead are forced to bind, gag and cage it. Neither option is something we truly want.
We of course understand that children should be protected, although current society makes this pretty much an exercise in futility, however simply deleting everything is no solution. There are alternatives, from having Adult-stories only visible to actual members to a simple 'are you above 18?'-button, all far less drastic options.
The simple fact is that we authors see Fanfiction.net as something unique, and we are of the opinion that simply going to another site is not a viable option. The closest match allowing the MA-Rating, Adultfanfiction.net, has multiple issues, including the fact that there is apparently no supervision and essentially no organization, stories belonging into the yaoi-folder clogging folders like 'general', where our stories would likely land. Adultfanfiction is also almost entirely composed of pure smut, and many authors who worked hard for their stories would not want to see the fruit of their labor stuffed between two porn-flics just because there is a single lemon-scene of perhaps 3.000 words in a 200.000 word story that's there because it fits or furthers the plot, or even a story that has no sex and was flagged for violence, where the author will feel even stronger that his work does not fit into the general style of the site.
We of course realize that the administration cannot work miracles, and that some things take time, however there are things we can ask for. First is the immediate stop of the deletion of stories and accounts, and, as far as possible, their restoration, at least for a time-period in which negations can be held. We are aware that you will not immediately jump up to completely change the rating-system, however we have listed a number of, as we feel, reasonable demands that you should take into consideration before continuing this purge of stories: 1. Many authors and readers were not yet members during 2002, and have trouble seeing where exactly the problem is. We ask that the administration give us the reason the MA-Rating was banned in 2002, and if you insist on your current stance, give us a detailed explanation as to WHY the rating cannot be reintroduced to this site.
2. Authors put a lot of work into their stories, work that the administration takes advantage of by allowing advertisements, including noise-producing advertisements that pose annoyances for readers, to be placed on our profiles and stories, which doubtlessly is a way to finance this site. As such, seeing that it is the work of the authors that keep this site alive, every author who works on his stories and in that manner supports this site has the right that, if his or her stories are deleted from the site, he is given a concrete explanation why, to prove that the story, or as it was referred to in the Terms of Service, the User Submission, for which the site reassured him he retained the ownership-rights in its ToS, was removed, and in the cases where no copy exists destroyed, for a valid reason and not solely on the whim of an administrator. Another reasonable request would be that the author in question be given a period of at least 24 hours before termination so that he may edit his Submission to meet the guidelines, or save it to be reposted on a different site so that his work will not be lost.
3. If the Administration can afford the resources for actions such as the current purge of stories or the Image Manager, an addition of debatable usefulness seeing that many, if not most, authors will lack either the motivation or the artistic talent to create individual covers for their stories, then the community may request additions that are actually helpful to a majority. Here two suggestions.
3.1 We request that, if the Administration insists on keeping its current policy on the Ratings, they do a review of them and clearer define what conditions must be met for a Submission to be given a specific rating, seeing as the current explanation of the ratings is extremely imprecise and leaves a great deal to individual interpretation. The perhaps most important statement 'Detailed descriptions of physical interaction of sexual or violent nature is considered Fiction MA' (Source: Fictionratings) could hardly be more vague, seeing that every individual has a different concept of what precisely counts as 'detailed'. An explanation as to why the rating for adults, who make up a large percentage, if not the majority, of the users of http://www.Fanfiction.net is banned, yet the ratings K for children five years and older, and K-Plus for children nine years or older is valid despite the fact that the Terms of Service clearly state that http://www.Fanfiction.net is 'not intended for children under 13' (Source: http://www.fanfiction.net/tos/), would also be appreciated.
3.2 In the recent years the genre known under terms such as 'Slash/FemSlash', 'Yaoi/Yuri' or 'Boys Love/Girls Love' on this site has grown steadily, and while in the name of tolerance it is only correct, and even admirable, that these stories remain on this site like any other, there are a number of readers that, while not against homosexuality in any shape or form, are simply not interested in reading such stories. However, there are Categories in which the ratio between Slash-stories and non-Slash-stories has reached a point where a reader looking for a non-slash story has to browse to up to six pages of summaries just to find a single one. This has doubtlessly led to the point where some readers have given up searching in that category, which means that authors writing non-slash stories in that category have lessened chances of getting the views, and reviews, that many hope for in order to improve their works. As such, we request that the site allow authors to tag their stories as slash, as most already do in their summaries, and enable users not interested in such stories to filter them out so that they may easier find stories they are interested in in all categories, and so that users who are interested may also find such stories easier.
We members of Fanfiction.net have stood silently for years and watched how this site changed. In recent years some of the changes have concerned us, as they seemed unnecessary and, and here I apologize for the bluntness, as useful as foot-fungus. We see no point in having 5cm of white space to both sides of our forum or on our profiles, and especially not in our stories where we appreciate every millimeter of space filled with plot. We see no point in ordering stories by popularity instead of alphabetical, as we can read the numbers of stories in a category, and we can find a category by alphabet, but may not know how popular a story is, meaning that we now have to manually check every single category to see if it is the one we want. We see no point in having the 'advanced'-button when we press search, as it is obvious we want the advanced options when we clicked on search instead of typing our search word into the bar that appears when you let your mouse wander over the word 'Search' in the gray bar at the top of the page.
We took all these things, and we would have taken the other changes, however this purge of stories is a step far too drastic. When we joined Fanfiction.net, Section 11 of the Terms of Service clearly stated that we have a duty to protect and defend this site. In accordance to this duty we break our long silence now, to protect Fanfiction.net from itself.
We implore the administration of Fanfiction.net to rethink their radical stance, to protect the sanctity of the authors and their works, and to help us that Fanfiction.net will still stand tall as a bastion of creative writing in the future, that it will still be the wonderful ground on which people of all genders, ages, religions, and colors may freely Unleash their Imagination.
Penname: Thanathos, a once proud, now deeply concerned member of Fanfiction.net. One voice amongst many.
For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.
EDIT: Just made a forum on this to, should be on the profile, not sure if that will help.
Agato the Venom Host
The Dark Graven
Lord Orion Salazar Black
Kumo no Makoto
Korraganitar the NightShadow
Final Black Getsuga
Mystic 6 tailed Naruto
Darth Void Sage of the Force
Shiso no Kitsune
swords of twilight
bunji the wolf
Ying the Nine Tail Fox
Gin of the wicked smile
The wolf god Fenri
The Unknown 007
The Lemon Sage
Eon The Cat of Shadows
swords of dawn
The Immoral Flame
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Her Dark Poet
Shen an Calhar
Zero X Limit
Single Silver Eye
The Purple Critic
The Roaming Shadow
Lord of Daemons
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Lost my shoe in Sheol
LOVEMANGA AND DRARRY
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the green ace of clubs
Assassin King of Masyaf
Story Reader 97
gaia (pas inscrit)
Fenrir the vicious
c i am a dragon
God Emperor Of GAR-halla
Warrior of Olympus
Kakkyou no Yami
Dragon Man 180
high lord mage
God Emperor of GAR-halla
Soul Painted Black
Etsukazu no Kitsune
Sage of Eyes
Warden of the Runes
Culebra del Sol
Nightmares Around Winter
Son Of A Wolf
Zagger the Bloody Angel
alice the noble
Zagger the Bloody Angel
Erebus of the Banat
The Infamous Man
THE Dark Dragen
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Magic IS WHAT
Rune Dela Vega
End of an Era
Baka Ecchi Kon
Dragon Wizard 91
Dark Dragon of Amaterasu
m6l99 the second
Evil Long Penname Having Individual End
The Madness Of My Life
kami no Kage
SSJ3 Kyuubi Gohan
Burning Shadow Wolf
Shinryu the Eternal Storm God
Rydyian Gunn the Journeyman
Villain84 Beta 01
Kouka no Ryuu
Wicked Lovely 17
Kage no hon'no
Yoko The Spirit Fox
Lord Xantos A. Fowl
Marick Kel Thalas
The wolf god Fenrir
Ryuu no kage
Ashes of the Dragon
King of Hearts 129
FF8 Squall Lionhart
Dany le fou
hokage of dragon
Allena Moyashi Walker
Danget the critic
Lovi's Tomato Lover
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l Aysu l
Sarah Victoria Cullen
Lord of the Disc
the sonic devil
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The High Demon Lord
My Happiness if Only a Mask
The Red blade
gouka chibi fujo
Clown that Sleep's
God of Darkness and Shadows
Simply one hell of an author