Bio Fav: Stories . Authors
Name: Fenrir lokison
Eye color:Bright gold
Fur color:Blacker than the blackest nightmare
One Piece is an action adventure story in line with some of the great quest stories out there. Starting with a very simple plot, One Piece follows the adventures of a young boy looking to fulfill his ultimate dream. Creator, writer, and artist Eiichiro Oda describes One Piece as the story he wanted to read as a boy. One Piece mixes a unique art style, an expansive setting, comedy, and a ton of action to create an imaginative and romanticized tale of piracy.
The artwork of One Piece starts with a very simple style. The designs initially seem very cartoonish with much of the character designs showing more North American influence than that from its Japanese origins. One Piece's Japanese origins do work their way up in the form of the familiar big eyes and the typical expressions of many of the characters. The artwork and settings come across as timeless in their presentation. While the setting points back to a romanticized vision of the great sailing age, the characters--in both their mannerisms and clothing--are set firmly in modern times. While the male character designs are often quite varied and unique, the female designs do get a bit repetitive. Mr. Oda admits that female characters are often the hardest for him to draw.
Eiichiro Oda lists amongst his influences Akira Toriyama of Dragon Ball fame. This influence is seen most prominently in Mr. Oda's style of writing which contains huge epic battles punctuated by a lot of humor. All of the main characters join Luffy on his adventure for very their own personal quests. Each character is defined by what they seek in their quest, leaving very little for actual development. Luffy and his friends are basically what the audience sees, with no ulterior motives driving or influencing their decisions. Each of the main characters takes a turn in the spotlight, often during many of the battles that drive the series. These battles are a large part of One Piece, as each often takes up a few chapters to conclude.
There is always a danger when one artist takes inspiration from another. Luckily, One Piece avoids many of the pitfalls of this by creating a vivid world for its characters to wander in. One Piece manages to share a rich tale without getting bogged down by overly complicated plots. It is what it appears to be on the surface, a grand adventure filled with comedy, action, and strong values. Eiichiro Oda
's artwork and storytelling combine to create a unique tale of adventure that many will find entertaining.
The male equivalent of the 10 Commandments
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss’s car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The Crying Game”.
(e) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy’s choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.
16: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever. We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
“GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”
“BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “You’re next!”
We hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.
The Laws of Anime Version 6.0
Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito
1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.
2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.
5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.
6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).
10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.
11. Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".
12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.
14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.
15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.
16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.
17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.
18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.
19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.
20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...
22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.
24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.
25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.
27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.
28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.
32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.
34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.
36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.
38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...
40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.
42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.
43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.
44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.
45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.
46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.
IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)
this is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia.
yu yu hakusho
naruto( it really could of been done better)
Really Stupid Stereotypes:
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. (So I dont lift weights and exercise alot. Boo mother fucking Hoo)
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. (No. I dont have a gun. I dont carry a knife either.)
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. (I'm not a female dog. I speak my mind when people are being stupid.)
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. (They can live there own life. I dont wish death on anyone that doesent deserve it. And yes I curse even though Im christian.)
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. (No I dont. People have there own Idea's.)
I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. (Not every damn sexy looking girl I see I want to do. Seriously.)
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So i must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. (Only rich because I Save my money.)
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo (Favorite color. Also, just because Im black and like to wear black dosent mean I am going to rob you.)
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. (I love poetry. But I am not a homosexual.)
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. (I am not a player, I respect all of them and they have boyfriends.)
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. (FUCK YOU.)
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so i MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude (Im a virgin yes but that dosent mean I dont want sex.)
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. (Really. I dont like chicken like that. I dont eat it every day. Its not my favorite food. Kool-aid can die. Its all about Vita-malt bitches. lol.)
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so i MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. (1. Im shy. 2. I just got out of a relationship. 3. I actually look good.)
I'm a SKATER so i must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so i must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so i must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. (I dont hate them. They have there own life to live. Let them be.)
I'm MIXED so i must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so i MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so i MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA (If you come up to me with this shit I swear Im going to cuss you or beat this fuck out of you.)
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. (Wow so I dont smoke and fight and play sports. Dosent mean I have no life.)
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive (Fuck off. That's all Im going to say.)
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon (I dont really eat watermelon you rasict fucks.)
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino. (I dont like to be under it for too long but I like the sun)
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. (If the party is playing video games and Im drinking juice or soda then yeah. I LOVE TO DRINK AND PARTY. Fucking cunts)
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. (This one pisses me of. I dont fucking drink or smoke. My father may have made me drink champange for my thirteenth birthday but that's a tradition for the males in my family.)
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. (Again. Lots of friends but I hang out with like three a day.)
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. (Just because I have a different sense of humor dosent mean I'm crazy.)
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. (No. That's all Im going to say.)
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. (So certain things Im defensive for, that dosent mean Im a bitch and an over controlling one at that.)
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. (Lots of friends, asses.)
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I Must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled. (Im only spoiled when I get good Grades, but Im lazy and if you see my report card you would think different. lol. Besides. My other siblings are somwhere in the states so I'm curently an only child.)
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. (I am skinny yes, But I can fight and grapple people bigger or stronger than me.)
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. (I actually have emotions. Wow shocker. Dumb Fucks)
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. (Well, cant say much about this. Lol.)
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (Seriously. I like to see blood SOMETIMES, but I wont want to murder you or suck your blood)
I'm ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE (I may not be so crazy about them but Im a dude, and ALL dudes like lesbian action)
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser (I am known in my school, AND HAVE ALOT of friends but im not the most popular, I plan to keep it that way.)
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex. (Why would I want cybersex? What is the point in this dumb shit?)
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see."
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. (So I like cartoons, deal with it, and yes Im 16)
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. (So I actually display an intelligence. Wow sue me you dumbasses)
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. (I disagree with our government because they are fucking up the country even more.)
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED (REALLY. ARE YOU SERIOUS?)
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish (I like them cause they are interesting.)
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. (Wow. I told you that you spelled cat wrong, so you have to cuss me. Wtf?)
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I MUST be after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue. (I have a clue that your a bitch.)
I STILL LIKE TO WATCH CARTOONS so I MUST be immature. (Everyone watches cartoons. You grew up with them. My father watches cartoons sometimes and he is close to making 50.)
Stereotypes people put me under are bolded and underlined, so if you hate stereotypes and want people to shut up about them, put this on your own profile and make it known how stupid stereotypes are!!
If you think Masashi Kishimoto is ruining Naruto and agree, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, Hiroshima Namikaze, Zaara the black, desuta, Reikson, D-reaper X-20, blackstardragon624, chinoodin, The Silver Blossom, RasenganFin, Raidentensho, Knives91, Kingkakashi, DarkSamuraiX1999, THE HEE-HO KING, Wirespeed91, Naruto 21, GraityTheWizard, GuyverZero, durwin, Hakkyou no Yami, VFSNAKE, Stormrunner56, Haru Kitsune, Arsao Tome, NaruHinaFanboy,Fenrir the vicious
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."
Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God.
Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter by Hyuuga Hiashi WRITTTEN BY SHAWNY WONG!!
Rule One: If you come up to gates of the Hyuuga estate and announce your presence you’d better be delivering an important message from the Hokage, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered practical for boys of your age to remove their shirts when they have been training for hours on end. Presumably, this is to ensure that you do not overheat while you are training outdoors. Please don’t take this as an insult but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. We do have air conditioned dojos and indoor training halls for a reason. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may remove your shirts and tops whenever and wherever you want, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your pants do not, accidentally, come off during any time spent with my daughter, I will take my senbon and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex with the wrong kunoichi can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, my daughter is that kunoichi, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about recent missions, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than sculpting the Hokage Monument. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like sweeping my floors?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, ninja patrols, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Chunin exam tournaments are okay. Morino Ibiki’s interrogation chambers are better. (Speaking of which, Ibiki owes me a favor. Would you like me to make an appointment for you? It’s no trouble.)
Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I am a master of the Byakugan – that makes me a living lie detector. I can see every involuntary twitch, every breath, and each bead of sweat on your face. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have an army of elite Byakugan users at my beck and call. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your steps coming up to my front gate for an enemy Cloud ninja sent here to steal the secrets of the Byakugan. You remember what happened to the last Cloud ninja who crossed me, don’t you? Incidentally, I will be cleaning and polishing the family katana as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you set one foot on my property you should submit yourself to a full body search by my guards, remove all hidden weapons from your person, and keep both hands in plain sight. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then leave - there is no need for you to come inside. You may not see me, but rest assured. I see you.
retrieved by notgonnasay09, if you believe the above has great point copy and paist to your profile: OniRudra37
The US government may take wolves off the endangered species list. that means hunters and anyone can kill trap and skin wolves or kill them for the fun of it. IF YOU BELIVE THIS IS DOWN-RIGHT WRONG AND WANT TO VOICE YOUR OPINON OR PUT A STOP TO THIS COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE WITH YOUR NAME AFTER IT!! 0x-i-Need-A-Hug-x0, darklightningdevil, 13IsTaLkThEaKaTsUkI13, RainLily13, Valleygoat,Naru-chan and Kashi-kun, miss-perfections, Mikie-From-Ireland' Fenrir the vicious
69 Ways to Know If You Are a Douchebag
The worst thing about douchebags is that they seem to be spreading. As being stupid and listening to shitty music become more popular, more guys have been going to "salons" for manicures, spray-on tans, or both. Don't allow yourself to become a douchebag! Read our list of possible douchebag symptoms, if you find yourself guilty of anything here, you have a few options: 1.) Stop performing that action! It will move you in the right direction to becoming a functioning member of society. Or 2.) End your own life. For the good of society, please prevent this from becoming an unstoppable epidemic.
You are probably a douchebag if...
1.) You Wear Sunglasses At Night
2.) You Refuse To Wear T-Shirts Since They Are "Un-Collar-Poppable"
3.) You Get Offended By "My New Haircut"
4.) You Wear A Shirt Infrequently
5.) You Refer To Girls As "Bitties"
6.) You Own A Comb That You Carry On You At All Times
7.) You Go Tanning
8.) You Own More Than 10 Pairs Of Flip Flops
9.) You Think Dane Cook Is God
10.) You Work At Abercrombie And Fitch And Are Older Than 19
11.) You Own An Abercrombie And Fitch Credit Card
12.) You Order Salad As An Entree
13.) You Own Neckwear And It's A Crucifix But You Haven't Been To Church Since Christmas And You Love Drinking And Pre-Marital Sex
14.) You Start Fights Over The Best Brand Of Whey Protein
15.) You Start Fights In General
16.) You Only Drink Coors Light
17.) You Refer To Things You Don't Like As "Gay"
18.) You've Worn A Basketball Jersey To School
19.) You Mooch Off Your Parents And Still Treat Them Like Crap
20.) You Own A Scarface Poster
21.) Your Computer's Wallpaper Is A Naked Girl
22.) You Prominently Display Condoms In Your Room
23.) The Amount Of Books You've Read Is Less Than The Amount Of Cell Phones You've Owned
24.) You Refer To Your Male Friends As Your "Boys" On A Regular Basis
25.) You've Spent More Than 5 Minutes "Pimping Out" Your Myspace Page
26.) You Refer To Your Myspace Page As "Pimped Out"
27.) You Put Rims On The Camry Your Dad Bought You
28.) You Still Quote Anchorman, Old School, and Napoleon Dynamite
29.) You "Love The Yankees" But Can Only Name A-Rod And Derek Jeter As Currently Playing For Them
30.) You've Said Your Frat Is "Just Like The One In Animal House, Bro"
31.) You've Ever Worn Just A Wife Beater Anywhere
32.) You Claim To Be Italian Although You've Never Been To Italy And Your Last Native Italian Relative Came To America In 1900
33.) The Amount Of Hair Gel On Your Head Could Properly Lubricate An M-1 Abrams Tank
34.) You've Ever Complimented Another Guy On How Ripped His "Pecs Look"
35.) You Own "Growing Up Gotti" On DVD
36.) You've Ever Purchased Pre-Ripped Jeans Solely Because You Love The Pre-Ripped Look
37.) You Sport This Haircut:
38.) You're In This Picture:
39.) You Think Your Life Is Remarkably Similar To "Entourage" and have ever said "You KNOW that'll be us someday, bro."
40.) You've Ever Taken A Picture Of Yourself Shirtless For The Purpose Of Distributing It On The Internet
41.) You've Ever Said "I Liked That Band BEFORE They Were Famous"
42.) You Started Taking Guitar Lessons Simply So You Could Play Dave Matthews Band's "Crash" At Parties
43.) You Yell "Freebird!" At Every Concert You Attend
44.) Your Wallet Is Attached To Your Pants Via Wallet Chain You Bought At Hot Topic
45.) In Every Picture Of You, You Flash The Backwards "Peace Sign"
46.) You Work At Hot Topic And Are Older Than 19
47.) You Shop At Hot Topic
48.) You've Ever Blamed Climate Change On "Those Republican Assholes" But Haven't Changed Your Lifestyle In Any Way To Combat The Effects Of Global Warming
49.) You Wear The Shirt Of The Band You're Going To See
50.) You Check Out Your "Guns" In The Reflection Of Parked Car Windows
51.) The Name Of Your Car Is Pasted Across The Windshield
52.) You Own More Than Zero Pairs Of "Crocs"
53.) You Spend More Time At The Gym Than You Do Working At A Job
54.) The Majority Of Your Sentences Begin And End With The Words "Dude" "Bro" And/Or "Yo."
55.) You Become Absurdly Angry When A Teammate On Your Recreational Softball/Rollerhockey/Flag Football Team Makes An imperfect Play
56.) Your Hollister Co. Shirt Would Be Snug On A Kindergartner
57.) You Reminisce About How Awesome Your High School Gym Class Touch Football Team Was
58.) You Have A Bumper Sticker That Says "Tell your girlfriend I said thanks."
59.) You Have Pictures Of Muscular Guys In Your Room And Justify It By Saying, "Yo dude, it's just for motivation, bro," And No One Questions You Because You're Being Completely Honest
60.) You're Violently Protective Of Your Community College
61.) You're Chugging A Beer In Your Facebook Picture
62.) You're Not Wearing A Shirt In Your Facebook Picture
63.) You're Chugging A Beer Whilst Shirtless In Your Facebook Picture
64.) The Amount Of Jewelry You Own Would Make Xerxes From "300" Jealous
65.) You Own More Than Zero Flat Brimmed Baseball Caps
66.) Your Chest Is Bigger Than Your Girlfriends
67.) You Cock Your Head In Every Picture Taken Of You
68.) You Always Do The Hand-Shake-Hug Even With People Who You Probably Shouldn't
69.) You've Been Able To Emphatically Answer Yes To More Than A Good Amount Of What I've Just Listed
The Situation in Hell
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
Naruto fanfics are over populated by yaoi, primarily NaruSasu. If you believe me put this on your profile. By Order of ChaosLink and Dark_Magician_41 fenrir the vicious
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Uchiha-Aki-chou, MaybelleTheRAWRDragon, Chutneyispower (Damn right!), Dark Flame Pheonix (guilty as charged), XxXSand-Jounin-TemariXxX (What better way to spend your day?), Awaii, Luna2986(Done that 5-10 times XD)Kyoko Izumi, Anthurak The Chaos Lord (ALL HAIL FANDOM!) Fenrir the Vicious
Guide to Writing Fanfiction v1 by MortalOne
Writing fanfiction can be a fun and invigorating experience and it is one that I recommend for anyone who has more than a passing interest in a story. That said there is good fanfiction and bad fanfiction. Sometimes you see authors go “I won’t post another chapter until I get 30 reviews,” or you see complaints about how the author isn’t getting the feedback that he or she believes is deserved. There is such a thing as good fanfiction and such a thing as bad fanfiction. This guide is meant to help steer authors towards writing good fanfiction. At the end of this guide is a collection of some of my own personal thoughts about specific things that work and don’t work, but otherwise I avoid telling people exactly what to write or what not to write as much as possible.
This is version 1 of my -- that is to say, MortalOne's -- guide to writing fanfiction. Ammendments and additions will be made when deemed necessary.
Step 1: Know what you’re getting into.
Like it or not, writing fanfiction is a big commitment. You don’t have to be a total otaku who can quote passages from the manga line by line, but if you plan on writing an epic length story then consider an entire winter holiday break dedicated to your story. Most people don’t know what they are getting into and end up foolishly beginning an epic length type story that they will never even come close to finishing.
The best thing to do if you want to write fanfiction is to immerse yourself somewhat in the community. Talk with other authors about your ideas and read lots of stories. Be careful, however, and make sure you recognize the difference between canon and fanon. For instance, many people have Kakashi show blatant favoritism towards Sasuke even prior to Wave. This is fanon, not canon. Kakashi was not seen in the manga showing favoritism towards Sasuke until the chuunin exams. A good story will account for these kinds of details, not leaving gaping holes in the characterizations without just cause. You will understand what I mean by “just cause” later when I discuss out of character (better known as OOC) behavior.
Also, before you finally make plans to begin your story, make sure that you understand the terminology and the storyline. Find a Japanese to English translator if necessary (there are plenty of those online). An example that sickens me is abuse of the term “Sannin.” If you’ve followed the manga at all, you know that the Sannin are Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru. If you know any Japanese at all, you know that “san” means three and “nin” is for “ninja.” The Sannin are the “Three Ninjas.” That is the nickname given to them by Hanzou. It is not a rank, nor an indication of power anymore than “Shika-Ino-Chou Trio” is.
If you’re unsure of your ability to write an epic length story, it’s best to start out with a smaller test story. A one-shot or a several chapter story that retells a particular arc (rather than the whole canon storyline), or fills in missing history (such as that of Naruto’s parents) would suffice.
Step 2: The Plot Bunny
A story is started with a plot idea, or “plot bunny.” Plot bunnies come in two forms: the type you start sketching into an outline in your mind and the type that you just start writing.
The second type of plot bunny should generally be avoided. Sure, you may want to just start writing, but you may run into a jam if you don’t plan things out properly. When writing these kinds of ideas, it may be best to sit and wait before posting the story. You may or may not feel like you have a suitable plot to continue. I have several dozen ideas written out on my computer that I will probably never finish because I realized I would be writing myself into a hole. There is no shame in that. Do not publicize based on impulses; too many people in this world do that already.
Let us assume that you are dealing with the first type of plot bunny, one that you are sketching out in your mind into an outline of a story. Either that, or consider a plot bunny you started writing and now you are outlining the rest of the story. The plot bunny alone will not make the story. Even if we find the idea interesting, our interest in it will fade if you do not follow through. Plan an ending and consider key events. You can still make changes to these things, but without an intended direction to follow your story will go nowhere way too fast.
Step 3: The Details of the Story
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Many people think that one plot bunny is enough for a story. You have an idea about how to change Naruto into something better and then you can follow canon events up until the point at which they no longer satisfy you. That is not enough.
In order to judge whether or not you will have a successful story, you need to look at several points: how original is your plot bunny, how greatly does your plot bunny change the canon world and how many plot bunnies you are incorporating. Seek to avoid cliché, overdone plot ideas. Naruto with an original bloodline is not enough to start a good story. There are times, however, when a single plot bunny is enough. Consider a story that goes something like, “Naruto has reunited with Sasuke and defeated Akatsuki and all seems to have ended happily, but Naruto discovers that the person he believes to be Sasuke may in fact be Orochimaru, only Orochimaru has memories only as Sasuke and doesn’t even know who he really is.” That single plot bunny introduces a new and unique path, never been done before.
Also, many plot bunnies will overpower a hero. A hero can be very strong, but the hero must be faced with challenges that are difficult. A hero cannot be infallible. When Naruto is given seven bloodlines, unlimited Kyuubi access, and a throng of powerful allies, his victory becomes a certainty. Invariably what happens is that the bad-guy gets ridiculously overpowered in a weak and futile attempt to match. The story serves no purpose.
On Realism and Effectiveness: Unless your aim is for slapstick humor, you should strive for a certain degree of realism in your story. People identify with things they can observe in real life. While some people have particular fascinations with superhero and archenemy archetypes, we can only effectively identify with those characters when we can identify with their motivation. Don’t overplay it; don’t underplay it. I get sick of reading sob stories of how Orochimaru killed Kyuubi’s children and I also get sick of stories about how Naruto decided to become a hero. To optimize the effectiveness of a story, characters should behave in believable ways even when their powers are completely unbelievable.
Even though few people can even remotely identify with the experiences of the protagonist of an action manga, the place that is usually most lacking in realism and effectiveness in fanfiction is the romance. Ironic, isn’t it? Again, characters should behave as believably as possible. Girls are not happy to share boyfriends and society does not look fondly on homosexual relationships. That does not mean you cannot write harem or yaoi/yuri stories, but it means that a good author should be careful in how the story is structured. Incest is an even bigger taboo. Certainly you can attract many people with fetish interests to these types of stories, but that does not make your story good.
Another issue with romance is that authors frequently rush through it. There’s “love at first sight,” a bunch of fluff, yadda, yadda. You bore me. In a good story that should be romantic conflict and also a gradually building of romantic feelings rather than waking up one day and saying “I love you.” Ideally, we should either be struck with relief that the pairing did happen, or the pairing should be forced apart (for instance, a character dies), or we should not even knowing what the pairing is until the end.
Another case of flawed romance can be found in people trying to idealize girlfriends. I’ve received reviews for my stories in the past where people wanted Hinata to be a slut, but just for Naruto. A virgin who dresses and acts like Anko, but only for Naruto. Uhh… nothing against those reviewers, but do they realize what they are saying? I would only consider having Hinata act that way if I was doing slapstick comedy.
Out of Character Behavior: Most stories contain at least one character who does not act according to character. With regards to Naruto stories, Naruto himself is usually that character. It’s important to realize when this is okay and when this is not okay.
Characters are most believably out of character when there is a reason given, a new motivation that drives them to behave differently. For instance, despite what many fans insist, it is unlikely that Naruto had assassination attempts made on him or that he was beaten by riots of angry villagers. Why you ask? Do you really think that someone beaten regularly, someone whose friends were murdered before his eyes, would feel obligated to protect the very people who despise him? Do you really think that someone experiencing those kinds of hardships would strive to stand out? The answer is no. Naruto was most likely ignored, glared at, and treated unfairly, but few if any people went out of their way to harm him. But when bad things happen to a young Naruto, there is a believable reason for him to hate Konoha.
Let’s consider an example of a somewhat believable change: Kakashi gives Sasuke special training even prior to Wave. This can work, but it’s not canon; it is OOC behavior. If you take this route, make sure to change Kakashi and Sasuke accordingly.
Let’s consider an example of an unbelievable change: Naruto leaves Konoha at a young age and returns to become a gennin, secretly bent on revenge against Konoha. A young Hinata instantly falls in love. This change is not very believable. Even ignoring the fact that a Naruto bent on revenge would not return until he was ready to execute his plan (you’ve already dug yourself into a hole if you’ve gotten that far), why would a canon Hinata fall in love with such an obvious villain? Canon Hinata is not some slut that will chase after any rising evil and it undercuts her character to give her that role.
Recognize when characters are in character and when they are out of character. Write your plot in such a way that it either keeps characters in character or makes them believably out of character. Seek to avoid making changes to a character that are not justified by your storyline.
The Importance of an Arc: Many people say, “Well, now that I have my ideas laid out, I can just blindly march through the canon arcs, changing them in ways that I find suitable.” An arc is a story within a story. The Wave Country arc tells the story of Haku and Zabuza and it is used to show Naruto and the readers what it means to be a shinobi in the Naruto universe (frequently denoted Naruverse). It shows Naruto the importance of life, protecting those that are precious, and builds the bond between Naruto and Sasuke. If you don’t plan to do that in your story, then why write about Wave Country at all? Similarly, the Mizuki incident is heavily overused. If Naruto already knows about Kyuubi and has made friends with Iruka, then why go through all that with making Naruto fail and then kill Mizuki? Just to learn Kage Bunshin? There are other ways to get him to do that. I have seen people make up pretty ridiculous excuses as to why Naruto should fail despite being ridiculously overpowered. Orders from the Hokage, orders from Kyuubi, or a sneaking suspicion that Mizuki is not who he says he is… the bottom line is that these authors are being lazy and unoriginal, regardless of how talented or untalented they may be. An arc serves a purpose. If that purpose cannot be achieved, then either give the arc a new purpose of equal value or replace the arc with other material. Sometimes it may be best just to remove an arc entirely from the storyline if that can indeed be done.
Crossovers and Crossover Ideas: Crossovers generally do not work very well. When a story contains fantastic elements, such as advanced technology, magic, or other paranormal elements, it is difficult to blend with another story. Do not blend stories liberally. This includes borrowing elements from one story and placing them in another. While it can work, it generally detracts from the story because it feels artificial; the more well known the character the more artificial it feels. You are not doing yourself a favor if you write yet another story where Naruto has a zanpakto.
Original Characters: Unlike most fanfiction guides, I encourage you to design your own characters. That does not mean that they should necessarily be given prominent roles or that they should be favored over canon characters, but that you can shape the experiences of your chosen protagonist by interactions with characters who behave in the right way to influence your protagonist. It is important, however, to avoid Mary Sue/Gary Stu characterizations as much as possible and to avoid self-insertions into prominent roles (it is okay to self-insert into a background role so long as that character never steals the spotlight, for instance you can give your own personality to the Hokage’s secretary so long as you aren’t writing long and drawn out scenes from her perspective). To see if a character is a Mary Sue, find your favorite search engine and search for a “Mary Sue litmus test.” Read instructions carefully and answer all questions honestly.
The power of an original character is that he or she can be shaped to your whim. You can harden your protagonist quickly by writing a friend or lover who gets killed off, or you can soften him up by having him or her fight a villain who was original a good-guy, but turned down a dark path. Remember that a character is largely defined by its flaws. The more prominent the character, the more important it is to show us the character’s flaws.
Writing the Story: There’s not much to say other than “take your time.” Don’t rush. Write the story neatly and professionally with as few mistakes as possible. Don’t just say “I don’t care” when dialogue doesn’t come out properly.
Before posting, you should edit the grammar thoroughly and run a spellchecker. Nobody whose opinion matters expects perfection, but it is offensive to the reader to have to endure a blatantly stream of easily avoided mistakes. When names and first words of sentences are routinely not capitalized, you cannot expect us to think of your story anymore seriously than we would think of a story written by an elementary school child.
“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” Quote- Epicurus
The First Law of Fanfiction states that every change which strengthens the protagonists requires a corresponding worsening of their challenges. Or in plainer language: You can't make Frodo a Jedi without giving Sauron the Death Star. Read any book on writing ever and it will tell you that stories are about conflict; a hero too strong for their conflict is no longer in tense, heart-pounding difficulty. For example, Dark!Dumbledore and Dark!Harry both permit a Harry strengthened over canon - the first by turning one of Harry's canon!allies against him, and the second by turning Harry against his canon!allies. The most spectacular application of this principle that I've seen is Harry Potter and the Wastelands of Time, in which Harry has gained all the knowledge of ancient Atlantis and has been through literally hundreds of Peggy Sue cycles in which he learns every possible twist of fate... and Voldemort, who unfortunately got to Atlantis first, has still won every time. The Mary Sue is not defined by her power, but by her lack of an even more powerful opponent. I mention this (1) so that you know I know it and (2) because the First Law of Fanfiction ought to be in a giant banner on every fanfiction site. The most fatal temptation of fanfiction writing is to think of how much easier some character's life would be if they were a ninja. We are naturally inclined to think up ways to solve our characters' problems for them, but must learn instead to make their lives more difficult.
Easy ways to tell when a story blows: 1. If the summary contains nothing but questions.
2. If the word "bashing" appears at any point. 3. If the title is not capitalized.
4. If the summary possesses no capitalization.
5. If the summary lacks grammar.
6. If any characters name is misspelled.
7. If the main character is super powerful, every male ignores that, and every female jumps him.
Reverse for female main. 8. If ten billion kage bunshin are used as a learning tool.
9. If every character other than the main and the love interest couldn't figure out how to breathe without reminders.
10. If every character other than the main and the love interest spends their screen time making stupid plans to portray themselves as soulless monsters/assholes.
11. If the author consistently cannot be bothered to capitalize all proper nouns.
12. If the author utterly rebukes attempts to help them.
13. If any and/or all characters are completely out of character without solid, long, thought out story arcs to explain the gradual shift.
14. If a character is so different that the only thing tying them to the original is a name.
15. If there is nothing tying the character to the original except for Word of God.
16. If more than two paragraphs are used in opening and closing authors notes.
17. If the first authors notes contain something to the effect of 'don't like don't read' in regards to their skill at creative writing. Warnings for content are fine.
18. If the first chapter makes any character strong enough to slap The Dragon.
19. If The First Law of Fanfiction is broken.
20. If a mentor swoops in from nowhere and creates a Badass in a few months/years where it would take years/decades to reach average level.
21. If at any point a horrible childhood is used as an excuse for anything except for the use of traumatic outbursts.
22. If the author simply cannot deviate from said/asked even when the dialogue demands it. Murmured is not Said. Screamed is not Said. Gently whispered directly into their ear is not fucking Said.
23. If, while conversing, a character is not shown to do anything but talk. No facial change. No use of hands to illustrate a point. No nervous fidgeting.
24. If the entire story can be summed up as "Statement," Character A said. "Question?" Character B asked. That's a script, Not a story.
25. If a major character is given no background.
26. If the background of a major character is never used.
27. If the main character does nothing but whine about life. Tragedy Hurt/Comfort and Angst are understandable, WHEN done right. Most people here do not have the experience to pull them off realistically.
28. If every character, despite having been born decades apart, in separate cultures, have the exact same speech pattern if not accent.
29. If the author flaunts major divergences from intrinsic Cannon lore without so much as a warning. i.e. Shadow clones take a set amount of power each instead of an equal division between the creator and the clones.
30. If any character suddenly decides to hate their loved ones and jump into bed with GenericHotFemale23 with no discernible buildup or reasoning. If love potions/mindcontrol/impersonation are involved, kudos to you for a plot twist. That said, at some point you must at least show that the character is indeed acting wrong and that you are, in fact, not a horrible author.
31. If the author refuses to use proper conjugation. Ill is not the same as I'll
32. If the author does not acknowledge improper uses of homonyms. Redread wherewear
33. If the author uses weary, an expression denoting fatigue, in place of wary, an expression denoting suspicion or caution. I'm going to stop here because it's getting pathetic how fast I'm pumping these out. These apply IF the author is unwilling to admit when they are doing something wrong.
When do you think people die?
When they are shot through the heart by the bullet of a pistol?
When their body is ravaged by an incurable disease?
When they eat a soup made of a poisonous mushroom?
People die when they are forgotten.
REST IN PIECE TOONAMI.
From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget.
Tom and the Absolution 1997-2008
A great Character and a funny host
You will live on forever in this.
If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and now wish to honor it post this on your profile.
More appropriate, I should think, is the view that God created the universe out of an interest in spontaneous creativity - that he wanted nature to produce surprises, phenomena that he himself could not have foreseen. What would such a creative universe be like? Well, it would for one thing be impossible to predict in detail. . . . Further, a creative universe should give rise to agencies that are themselves creative, which is to say unpredictable. There is in our universe such an agency, spectacularly successful at reversing the dreary slide to entropy and making surprising things happen. We call it life. It would be suitable if this agency were to inquire into the workings of the universe, winnowing out the predictable from the unpredictable and inventing theories to account for the difference. And that is what intelligence does. . . . Finally, in a creative universe God would betray no trace of his presence, since to do so would be to rob the creative forces of their independence, to turn them from the active pursuit of answers to mere supplication of God. . . . Whether he left or was ever here I do not know, and don't believe we ever shall know. But one can learn to live with ambiguity - that much is requisite to the seeking spirit - and with the silence of the stars. All who genuinely seek to learn, whether atheist or believer, scientist or mystic, are united in having not a faith but faith itself. For God's hand may be a human hand, if you reach out in loving kindness, and God's voice your voice, if you but speak the truth.
-- Timothy Ferris, The Whole Shebang: A State-of-the-Universe(s) Report