Bio Fav: Stories . Authors
ALL ABOUT ME
My Most Used Saying: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Favorite Shows: teen mom, NCIS, Bones, the Mentalist and so many others i cant think of at the moment...
Favorite Movies: The Covenant, Captain Ron, Les Mesrables, Red Dawn (1984), Dirty Dancing, The Karate Kid (1984), Footloose (1984), 21 Jump Street,What a girl wants...
Favorite Music: Anything Alternitive Rock, Some Metal and scremo, Espicially My Darkest Days, Amaranthe, Alesana, plus a bunch of classic rock including the Rolling Stones, oh and Punk, but like original punk like the Dead Kennedys and the Rammones
Favorite Books: Vampire Academy Series, Alex Rider Series, Harry Pottter Series, Les Mesrables, and the Hunger Games
Favorite Colors: Black and Red
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Famous Last Words
Hey, watch this!
Poke it with a stick, see if it's dead.
What could possibly go wrong?
I'll hold it and you light the fuse.
I've got a great idea!
Where'd you put the bomb?
Hey, that looks like fun!
I wonder what this does...
Red or blue, red or blue...?
Why's it bubbling?
Guys, you gotta see this!
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (You mean to tell me we're NOT supposed to put knives into our kids?)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (That gives us very limited options...)
On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
On Bath Salts Directions: put in water. (NO WAYYY!)
On Brownie Mix Directions: preheat oven, mix brownie mix eggs, water and oil, bake, eat. (you... you can EAT brownies?!)
List 50 VA charcters in no real order:
1. Christian 2.Janine 3. Alberta 4. Stan 5.Yeva 6. Paul 7. Dimmitri 8. Vicktoria 9. Abe 10. Pavel 11. Kirova 12. Moria Ozera 13. Robert Duro 14. Ambrose 15. Nathan Ivashkov 16. Rhonda 17. Tamara (FB) 18. Nikolai 19. Lev 20. Rolan 21.Tamara(BP) 22. Vladimir 23. Jeremy 24. Galina 25. Adrian 26. Mia 27. Andre 28. Oksana 29. Ralf. 30. Olena 31. Eddie 32. Sonya Karp 33. Sonya Belikova 34. Anna 35. Elena 36. Zoya 37. Jesse 38. Mark 39. Camille Conta 40. Marlin 41. Tatiana 42. Aaron 43. Tasha 44. Lucas Ozera 45. Jillan 46. Rose 47. Lisssa 48. Nathan 49. Mason 50. Isaiah
All Random Questions:
What would happen if 17 had a one-night stand with 42?
What would happen if Tamara from F.B. had a one-night stand with Aaron? I'm surprised Aaron got a girl who didn't feel it was her expected duty to date him.
Have you ever read a 6/11 FF? Do you want to?
Have you ever read a Paul/Kirova ff? No and i never want to see one
Do you think that 4 is hot? How hot?
Stan? God save us all if he is ever considered good looking
Would 48 and 32 make a good couple?
no. I think sonya karp would kill herself as a strigoi if she had to be with nathan
Would 3 ever hook up with 18?
alberta and Nikolai :/ i hpoe not not
When was the last time you read a FF about 47?
Lissa? every day
Use one word to describe 40?
What would happen if 28 walked in on 1, 5, and 16 in a threesome?
What would happen if Oksana walked in on Christian,Yeva and Rohanda in a threesome? She covers here eyes and runs away screaming
What would 13 say to seduce 9?
Robert Doru suduce Abe? Wouldn't happen abe would break his knee caps
What would happen if 12 got 5 pregnant?
Moria Ozera get Yeva pregnant?? Doubtful
What would happen if 12 got 8 pregnant?
Moria knock up Viktoria Belikova? Also doubtful
Can you recall any FF's about 20?
Lev? i don't think so.
Would 10 ever hook up with 37?
Pavel and Jesse? Damn pavel must be desperate
Is there such thing as a 45, 43 fluff?
Jill and Tasha? i hope not
Would 2 and 40 make a good couple?
Jainie and Marlin? noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who should 34 fall in love with?
Anna should totally fall in love with Vladimir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How should 50 Die?
Isahiah? Decaptitation by blunt sword welded by emotionally unstabe seventeen year old with dark eyes and hair after he snaps the neck of her redheaded friend/possible Boy Friend.
If you wrote a 1, 6, 12 Fic what would the warning be?
Christian, Paul and Moria Ozera? Incest! Sex with a minor! Don't read
Make a summary for a 21,/30/41 Love triangle FF?
Tamera from BP, Olena and Tatiana...Three lesbians one bed, what happens when Jesse walks in?
When was teh last time you read a FF about 19?
Who is 17's perfect match?
Tamara from FB? Lev
Who is 29's perfect match?
Ralf will never get a girl unless it's a prostitute, and the chances of that are still slim
What would happen if 45 had sex with 47?
Christian's dad and Rose. Well Rose would try to kill him and when Christian found out what he did with his girlfriends sister (and his sister by default) he would burn him to a crisp to make Lissa happy
When was the last time you read a FF about 5?
1 and 7 were in a happy relationship until 2 ran ff with 16, broken hearted had a one night stand with 11 and a brief afair with 21then follows the wise advice of 5, and ends up with 3.
What if Christian and Dimitri were in a happy relationship until Janine ran off with Rohnda the fourtone teller, broken heartedly had a one night stand with Kirova and a brief affair with Tamera from BP then follows the wise advice of Yeva and ends up with Alberta?
Wow? What the hell just happened?
Ten things to see before you die
1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal.
2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies. (I'v actually seen this happen. One of my best-friends in 8th grade)
4. Taxes disappear.
6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children. (too bad that can never happen now.*Sarcasm*)
7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect.
9. The coyote catch the road runner.
10. The reaction of the teen population if abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing.
You say Romeo and Juliet,
I say Dimika and Roza
You say Werewolves,
I say Vampires
You say you're creepy,
I say I know! :)
You say - Pink
I say - Black
You say - Miley Cyrus
I ... say - Haley Williams
You say - pop music I say - death metal
You say - That i'm weird
I say: Heck yeah im weird you gotta problem?!
What do do when a stupid guy tries to use a pickup line!
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Life is a job. Death is the Lord's way of saying, "You're fired." Suicide is human's way of saying, "I quit." Immortality means, "I like my job."
The question is never, "What have you done?" It's always, "What have you done now?"(this totally aplies to my brother and me)
What I Live By:)
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.