My favorite author is the wonderful Cassandra Clare, my favorite series is TMI. (the mortal instruments) My fav. book is COLS (city of Lost Souls) I spend most of my time with my friends, mostly laughing, and being totally random. My fav. sport is swimming, Did i mention that i'm totally random? Well, i am!

Theres this website JUST for malec fanfiction. Its called youarenottrivial.net and you can find me on it by the name of A regrettable choice of words.

My profile picture is a rose I drew myself using shading techniques I learned online.

1 Magnus
2Alec
3Clary
4Chairman Meow
5Jace
6Curch
7Isabelle
8Maia
9Jordan
10Sebastian
11Maryse
12Simon

1 . Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?
Church and Maryse. i have not and i will not. if there are any out there i will be fairly disturbed. O_o

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Chairman Meow. hes a cat. need i say more?

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Simon and Maia. Holy shit, Jordan wud fucking kill him! (and so wud Isabelle)

4.Can you recall any fics about Nine?
Jordan. umm... this one at normal highskool and he was in it.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Alec and Church . Totally! alec cud SO hook up with a cat!

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
Jace/Jordan or Jace/Sebastian. Jace and Jordan cuz sebastian TRIED TO RAPE HIS OWN SISTER!!

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
if Izzy tlked Simon and Alec into having sex i wud assume she paid Simon with more sex and drugged Alec. Magnus wud probably turn Isabelle into a whale for doing that anyway.

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.
Clary and Sebastian.
sebastian comes back and claims tobe completly changed. clary doesnt buy it for a second.

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?
Magnus and Maia. nope.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
simon and Izzy
the flaws of immortality

11.If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?
maia.
hungry like the wolf

12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
"warning, complete crack fic."
Magnus, Church, Simon

13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
Jace. 10 mins ago?

14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).”

"Magnus and Isabelle are in a happy relationship until Jordan runs off with Chairman Meow. Magnus, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Maryse and a brief unhappy affair with Simon, then follows the wise advice of Jace and finds true love with Clary.”

so basically, in tht screwed up thing magnus is dating isabelle then Jordan runs off with Magnus's cat and because he's mad he decides to sleep with his 'girlfriend's' mom then his girlfriend's ex- boyfriend and follows advice from someone he doesnt like to be with Jace's girlfriend. Poor Alec isnt even in this :( lol

A black man was talking to a white man and said: "I'm black. When I was born I was black. When I grew up I was black. When I'm sick I'm black. When I go in the sun I'm black. When I'm cold I'm black. When I die I'll still be black. But you: When you were born you were pink. When you grew up you were white. When you're sick you're green. When you go in the sun you're red. When you're cold you're blue. When you die you'll be purple. And you have the nerve to call me colored."

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

A friend will bail you out of jail.
A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

A good friend will comfort you when he breaks up with you.
A BEST friend will call him, whispering "Seven days..."

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."
Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they're after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friends: Fade
Best Friends: Are 4 Ever

Quotes:

“Usually I'm remarkably good natured. Try me on a day that doesn't end in y.” -Jace Wayland (The Mortal Instruments)

“Well, when I was five, I wanted my mother to let me go around and around inside a dryer with the clothes,” Clary said. “The difference is, she didn’t let me.”
“Probably because going around and around in a dryer can be fatal,” Jace pointed out, “whereas pasta is rarely fatal. Unless Isabelle makes it.” -Jace and Clary (The Mortal Instruments)

“I think she just asked if she could touch my mango.” -Jace (The Mortal Instruments)

“Demon pox, oh demon pox
Just how is it acquired?
One must go down to the bad part of town
Until one is very tired.
Demon pox, oh demon pox, I had it all along—
Not the pox, you foolish blocks,
I mean this very song—
For I was right, and you were wrong!" -Will Herondale (the infernal devices)

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the
face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the
oranges you originally asked for" -Jace (The Mortal Instruments)

"There is no pretending," Jace said with absolute clarity. "I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there's a life after that, I'll love you then." -Jace (The Mortal Instruments)

"Jesus!" Luke exclaimed.
"Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Although I've been told the resemblance is startling -Simon and Luke (The Mortal Instruments)

"...in fact, don't touch any of my weapons without my permission.'
"Well, there goes my plan for selling them all on ebay," Clary muttered.
"Selling them on what?"
Clary smiled blandly at him, "A mythical place of great magical power." -Jace and Clary (The Mortal Instruments)

"I am a man" he told her, "and men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone woman, and bring me something brown." -Jace (The mortal Instruments)

"No, I'm just a very naughty boy. I do all sorts of bad things. I kick kittens. I make rude gestures at nuns." -Jace (The Mortal Instruments)

Annoying things to do on an elevator:

MEOW occasionally.

SAY -DING at each floor.

SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

Hold an auction.

Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

Throw a rave.

Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"

Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

Have a heated debate with yourself.

Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

Drum on every available surface.

Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

Propose to the other passengers.

Challenge people to duels.

Sell girl scout cookies.

Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.

Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.

Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

Shout "Food fight!"

Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!

Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

Make sushi.

Shave.

Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops

moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

Practice your kung fu.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

Fly a model airplane.

Do yoga.

Play the accordion

Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

Start laughing maniacally like "muwahahahahaaa!!!!!!!"

Enter a crowded elevator, smile evilly, and say, "I bet you're wondering why I've called you all here."

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a "slut", no one knows she was raped at age 14. People call another guy "fat", no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight. People call an old man "ugly", no one knows he experienced a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping.

95% of girls would scream or cry if Justin Bieber went missing. Repost if you're in the 5% who would smile and poke your new prisoner with a stick.