Focus: Books » Twilight, Since: 07-19-07
Founder: CannotComeTothePhone - Stories: 131 - Followers: 390 - Staff: 5 - id: 48551
Some of the best humor at the expense of your favorite characters! I do take suggestions, but do to real life time constraints it takes me a while to get to the stories people send in. A while can sometimes mean months. I will eventually get to them.
3849 of Emmett's Corniest Pickup Lines by Purple Cow Crayons 49 of Emmett's stupidest, corniest, funniest pick-up lines. Rosalie is probably hearing most of these as you read! Dont hate me cuz im bored. just read, laugh, and love it.
Twilight, K+, English, Humor, words: 743, favs: 37, follows: 7, 9/6/2009, Emmett
17Graduation Party by KristyRose **A Comedy** Edward dazzles Mike! Eric has a dance-off against Emmett! Rosalie is actually nice to the humans! Is this Twilight or the Twilight Zone? No, it's just a "missing moment" of the Graduation Party in Eclipse from Mike Newton's POV!
Twilight, T, English, Humor, words: 2k+, favs: 9, follows: 12, 11/15/2009
932 Cullen Family Camping Trip II: Back to the Woods » by LeesaM After the first disastrous camping trip Bella and the Cullens are ready to put it behind them and move toward the upcoming wedding, until Charlie's 'thank you' present sends the household back into a panic - and back to the woods. Uh oh.
Twilight, T, English, Humor, chapters: 25, words: 81k+, favs: 606, follows: 289, updated: 2/19/2010 published: 7/24/2009, Edward, Bella
607 Cullen Family Camping Trip » by LeesaM Charlie insists Bella go camping with the Cullens in order to acclimate herself with the great outdoors. After all, the Cullens are practically revered in town for their family camping trips, so they must know what they're doing, right? *Post Eclipse
Twilight, T, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 13, words: 33k+, favs: 920, follows: 270, updated: 7/28/2009 published: 12/27/2008, Edward, Bella
32 Vampire Proofing by Loopy Looney Charny Harry decides it is time that the Cullen's house was vampire proof. Has a mention of a male/male pairing, but nothing else.
Harry Potter & Twilight, K, English, Humor, words: 780, favs: 257, follows: 62, 10/10/2009, Harry P., Edward
32 Unmentionable Bits by CannotComeTothePhone Edward Cullen thinks everything is going well. He has just found that he is strong enough to kiss the girl- there's only one problem. That girl isn't a girl, and he has all the requisite...bits. One-shot. Twilight/HP. Rated for adult language.
Harry Potter & Twilight, T, English, Humor, words: 839, favs: 93, follows: 23, 8/12/2009, Draco M., Edward
121 Theory by AlternativePunk A funny parody of what should have happened the day Bella figured out exactly what Edward Cullen was... "O-OH MY GOD! I figured it out! SO THIS MEANS THAT YOU…THAT YOU ARE…" -R&R- Hope this makes you LOL...literally!-
Twilight, K+, English, Humor & Parody, words: 1k+, favs: 69, follows: 11, 7/21/2009, Bella, Edward
52 Emmett and the Bare by sillybella For the Twilight Challenges August Challenge, to celebrate the creation of the Emmett AntiDefamation Society, your choice of Emmett opportunities: 1. In Emmett and the Bear, Emmett says, I thought what happened next was my judgment. I'd had a little too m
Twilight, T, English, Humor, words: 2k+, favs: 46, follows: 8, 9/1/2007
147The Cullen’s Moments of Randomness » by twilight782 The Cullens have always been quite a stange family, besides the fact theat they are vampires. Now their most embarresing, weird, and craziest moments are revieled in these chpters of petrifyingly funny stories!
Twilight, T, English, Humor, chapters: 9, words: 14k+, favs: 81, follows: 74, updated: 11/12/2008 published: 7/21/2007
172Intoxicated » by Just A Little Bit Dramatic Bella discovers the positive side of being older than Edward, and decides to have some fun of her own to get back at her vampire sweetheart for not changing her sooner. Rated T to be safe...
Twilight, T, English, Supernatural & Humor, chapters: 3, words: 2k+, favs: 135, follows: 156, updated: 1/21/2008 published: 7/28/2007
256Interupting Bella » by Klutzzy55 Origanilly a oneshot, but it was hard to resist! How does doghnuts, Rosalie, and hair mix? What is Emmett's blinky thing? Why does Alice despise McDonalds? How can Jasper be a life gaurd? What is Esme better at doing than Carlisle? LOVE REVIEWS!
Twilight, T, English, Humor, chapters: 25, words: 42k+, favs: 97, follows: 66, updated: 10/30/2007 published: 6/28/2007
115Down with Aro! » by fanciful.thoughts After Felix burns Volturi Castle down with Aro's curling iron, the fearless leader himself gets it into his head that they should move to Forks and be neighbors with the Cullens- mainly to stalk Carlisle. It all goes to hell from there. Beware Caius's swearing. - CRACK; woe to you if you take Twilight seriously. - DISCONTINUED.
Twilight, T, English, Humor & Parody, chapters: 6, words: 15k+, favs: 84, follows: 43, updated: 3/11/2009 published: 11/25/2008, Aro
55A Twilight Parody » by lizzyvamp1901 Another comedy arrives on FF! The readers of Twilight will enjoy this unusual take on Edward and Bella's story. WARNING unlike other parodies, this one is actually good and carefully written. No spelling or grammar mistakes here!
Twilight, T, English, Humor & Parody, chapters: 4, words: 4k+, favs: 42, follows: 27, updated: 9/1/2009 published: 7/28/2009, Bella, Edward
1k+ Truth or Dare a day with the Cullens » by lizzyvamp1901 It all started with a game of Truth or Dare. Now, the Cullens will remember that summer for the rest of their eternal lives. WARNING This fanfiction includes Edward as a stripper, DETENTION, Jazz being eaten and Bella getting arrested... by Charlie.
Twilight, T, English, Humor & Family, chapters: 43, words: 33k+, favs: 1k+, follows: 518, updated: 8/21/2009 published: 12/2/2008, Bella, Edward
75 Let's Talk About Sex by Dreamstallion33 Takes place during Edward's bachelor party. Fluff and mild-sexual references. Edward's PoV. ONESHOT! R&R "Really Edward, some people think eternal damnation and marriage are synonymous."
Twilight, T, English, Humor & Family, words: 2k+, favs: 107, follows: 25, 9/7/2008, Edward
38 ALICE CULLEN » by omaigooo If you are reading this, that means you've just purchased your very own ALICE CULLEN. Go through the guide for more information on the item purchased. Funny.one-shot
Twilight, T, English, Humor, chapters: 2, words: 1k+, favs: 53, follows: 11, updated: 6/8/2009 published: 5/24/2009, Alice
1k+ Camp Archstone: Facility for Troubled Youth by Dani Navy (removed)
Twilight, T, English, Humor & Friendship, words: 149, favs: 567, follows: 252, updated: 1/14/2016 published: 2/6/2009
379The Secret Life of Emmett Cullen » by ebby 7695 What does Emmett get up to in his spare time? Pay back and Hilarious material promised. I did not write the Twilight Series, it is Specifically Stephanie Meyers Series.
Twilight, T, English, Humor, chapters: 59, words: 67k+, favs: 91, follows: 48, updated: 10/17/2009 published: 4/12/2009, Emmett, Edward
512 The Project » by OliviaJane Alice has a personal project no one knows about. After finding out her cousins Edward and Emmett are moving to Forks she devises a plan to see to it that her best friends Bella and Rosalie fall for them. Will her project be a success? AH/OOC/Award Nominee
Twilight, T, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 18, words: 35k+, favs: 693, follows: 223, updated: 7/9/2009 published: 4/19/2008, Edward, Bella
80 EMMETT CULLEN » by omaigooo If you are reading this, that means you've just purchased your very own EMMETT CULLEN. Go throught the guide for more information on the item purchased. Funny.one-shot
Twilight, T, English, Humor, chapters: 2, words: 1k+, favs: 95, follows: 12, updated: 5/11/2009 published: 3/8/2009, Emmett
97 EDWARD CULLEN » by omaigooo If you are reading this, that means you've just purchased your very own EDWARD CULLEN. Go throught the guide for more information on the item purchased. Funny.one-shot
Twilight, T, English, Humor, chapters: 2, words: 1k+, favs: 119, follows: 20, updated: 5/11/2009 published: 3/6/2009, Edward
32 Jacob's Zit by maraullen Jacob wakes up one day to find... A ZIT! Pure comedy one-shot... Random... but funny... I hope ...
Twilight, K, English, Humor, words: 346, favs: 22, follows: 8, 12/13/2008, Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie
287Dear thing » by Nastia Cullen Edward keeps a diary? Year is 2020. Rated T for later chapters. A little OOC... not much though. Funny.
Twilight, T, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 8, words: 4k+, favs: 87, follows: 106, updated: 2/24/2009 published: 12/24/2008, Edward, Bella
35A Joke by Nastia Cullen One-shot! Alice plays a little "joke" on Bella! Then Edward comes home... Please read and review!
Twilight, T, English, Humor, words: 428, favs: 20, follows: 4, 11/9/2008, Alice, Bella
282Edward's Stalker » by angelofmusicxo What happens when Bella's absent and there's a new teacher who happens to have an obsession with Edward? Starring: Creepy stalker teacher! REVIEW!
Twilight, T, English, Humor, chapters: 5, words: 5k+, favs: 186, follows: 200, updated: 7/18/2007 published: 5/26/2007