
12/17/2015 c1
25MondayVibes
Oh man, I have to admit that I did enjoy that-I thought that Hawkeye in particular was well done.
So much potential for you to elaborate on this story, though (how do they catch the guys? Does Edward take part in their capture? How does Mustang fact?). Are you sure that you don't wanna turn this into a multi-cheap fic? Or write a companion fic for this?

Oh man, I have to admit that I did enjoy that-I thought that Hawkeye in particular was well done.
So much potential for you to elaborate on this story, though (how do they catch the guys? Does Edward take part in their capture? How does Mustang fact?). Are you sure that you don't wanna turn this into a multi-cheap fic? Or write a companion fic for this?
1/13/2014 c1 Guest
Very well done!
Very well done!
1/9/2014 c1 Not so human
:)
:)
1/9/2014 c1
12Sokkasm
Did you write this on a mobile device, like a phone or a kindle? I couldn't help but notice mistakes that are very easy to make while on a mobile. That, and your use of an accent mark instead of an apostrophe. I highly recommend writing on a computer to avoid these simple things. If you don't have access to a computer, there are plenty of friendly betas here that could edit your story for you.
Besides that, I love the concept of this story, although, the ending did seem a bit rushed. Still, I feel you accurately portrayed the characters with their emotions and dialogue.
Happy writing!

Did you write this on a mobile device, like a phone or a kindle? I couldn't help but notice mistakes that are very easy to make while on a mobile. That, and your use of an accent mark instead of an apostrophe. I highly recommend writing on a computer to avoid these simple things. If you don't have access to a computer, there are plenty of friendly betas here that could edit your story for you.
Besides that, I love the concept of this story, although, the ending did seem a bit rushed. Still, I feel you accurately portrayed the characters with their emotions and dialogue.
Happy writing!
1/9/2014 c1
2Bluefire21
Oh I loved that one shot of parental adorableness! Especially with the few hints of Royai. There were a few grammatical and spelling errors, but other than that it was great.

Oh I loved that one shot of parental adorableness! Especially with the few hints of Royai. There were a few grammatical and spelling errors, but other than that it was great.