for Melted hearts1/13/2019 c2 
8WordSmyth
as·ter·isk
/ˈastəˌrisk/
noun
1.
a symbol (*) used to mark printed or written text, typically as a reference to an annotation or to stand for omitted matter.
quo·ta·tion mark
noun
plural noun: quotation marks
each of a set of punctuation marks, single (‘ ’) or double (“ ”), used either to mark the beginning and end of a title or quoted passage.
Basically, you use quotation marks (“”)(‘’) when someone is speaking. Not asterisks.
8WordSmythas·ter·isk
/ˈastəˌrisk/
noun
1.
a symbol (*) used to mark printed or written text, typically as a reference to an annotation or to stand for omitted matter.
quo·ta·tion mark
noun
plural noun: quotation marks
each of a set of punctuation marks, single (‘ ’) or double (“ ”), used either to mark the beginning and end of a title or quoted passage.
Basically, you use quotation marks (“”)(‘’) when someone is speaking. Not asterisks.
10/29/2016 c7 3Shizu Uchiha
A story of what if naruto saved the king and the queen of arendale and take naruto with them.
Naruto has almost die in the fourth great ninja war, he appear in another land far away and start travel all around in research of a new life everything change with saving those lifes.
Challenge it
3Shizu UchihaA story of what if naruto saved the king and the queen of arendale and take naruto with them.
Naruto has almost die in the fourth great ninja war, he appear in another land far away and start travel all around in research of a new life everything change with saving those lifes.
Challenge it
9/26/2016 c7 singpu
wtf the grammar the story writing it makes me wanna cut my eyes out. Wtf man never written an essay or story before in class? if u have atleast passed 7th grade then you would know how to write man
wtf the grammar the story writing it makes me wanna cut my eyes out. Wtf man never written an essay or story before in class? if u have atleast passed 7th grade then you would know how to write man
4/6/2016 c1 Ten-tailed Primordial God
interesting so far
probably consider having someone proof read for you other than that its quite good
interesting so far
probably consider having someone proof read for you other than that its quite good
2/28/2016 c6 3Time Emperor
This is... Good? I guess. I'd say to edit it a bit. If you want help with that, I can help.
3Time EmperorThis is... Good? I guess. I'd say to edit it a bit. If you want help with that, I can help.
9/6/2014 c6 TheLastNanaya
Uh, I'll be honest. This is not good. Would you care to read the chapter before posting? There's so much grammar errors. And punctuation. Goodness, my eyes.
This had potential. And it is wasted due to poor quality of your writing.
Uh, I'll be honest. This is not good. Would you care to read the chapter before posting? There's so much grammar errors. And punctuation. Goodness, my eyes.
This had potential. And it is wasted due to poor quality of your writing.
6/29/2014 c1 2BabLe7
...I'm not quite sure how you managed it, but you lost my interest in the story. You somehow misspelled the word chakra. This may just be me being picky, and by all accounts it probably is, but if you're going to write about a fandom, wouldn't you at least make sure you're spelling names and terms correctly? I'll give you the same set of advice i gave someone else on this site.
If you had a beta patch this up for you, i suggest you get a different one as they didn't do a very good job. If you didn't have a beta look this over for you then I can give you a few suggestions.
1. If you don't want to get a beta involved, wait 2-3 weeks once you've finished a chapter without looking at it before going back and looking for any mistakes with a fresh pair of eyes. I use this method myself, surprising myself every time how many mistakes i catch.
2. Ask a friend, family member, or teacher to look it over for you and give you advice if needed. I've also used this method, it is very helpful.
3. Find a beta on this site to give your work a once-over and help you polish it up. While I don't do this I've seen how great it can turn out.
Or you can use any combination of these three.
I hope this review helps you continue to become a better writer.
Sincerely,
BabLe7
2BabLe7...I'm not quite sure how you managed it, but you lost my interest in the story. You somehow misspelled the word chakra. This may just be me being picky, and by all accounts it probably is, but if you're going to write about a fandom, wouldn't you at least make sure you're spelling names and terms correctly? I'll give you the same set of advice i gave someone else on this site.
If you had a beta patch this up for you, i suggest you get a different one as they didn't do a very good job. If you didn't have a beta look this over for you then I can give you a few suggestions.
1. If you don't want to get a beta involved, wait 2-3 weeks once you've finished a chapter without looking at it before going back and looking for any mistakes with a fresh pair of eyes. I use this method myself, surprising myself every time how many mistakes i catch.
2. Ask a friend, family member, or teacher to look it over for you and give you advice if needed. I've also used this method, it is very helpful.
3. Find a beta on this site to give your work a once-over and help you polish it up. While I don't do this I've seen how great it can turn out.
Or you can use any combination of these three.
I hope this review helps you continue to become a better writer.
Sincerely,
BabLe7
6/14/2014 c5 Guest
Please write an update for this. I really like this story. I like the plot and character development. I wonder how you'll tie everything together. Hope you update soon!
Please write an update for this. I really like this story. I like the plot and character development. I wonder how you'll tie everything together. Hope you update soon!