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2/3/2017 c11 74Mini Wolfsbane
Eh, I won't let my own cyniscm derail my review too much, but I gotta say, wanting to get married at seventeen is jumping the gun a lot. (Besides, most highschool romances don't last in real life.) Seeing how this is fanfic, it's still hard to suspend disbelief. One month just isn't enough time for two people to become that attached to each other.

Okay, okay, I said I was gonna be good! It was a cute chapter with a happy ending, even though the last chapter was super sad! Glad Freddy sees the value in Michelle getting adopted by Mrs. Eriksdotter and didn't try to adopt her himself. (Which was what I was afraid might happen.) This chapter flows better too, the paragraphs are more broken up and not so bunched together. Good work!
2/3/2017 c5 Mini Wolfsbane
Huh. They say you can't kidnapp a fat person, but I guess you can if you're Sabertooth. (I'm fat, so I say that in jest.)

Kinda nice to see Freddy angry. We didn't see him very upset outside
of his first episode. Good work on this chapter!
2/3/2017 c4 Mini Wolfsbane
Good chapter four. Nice to see Freddy working. Wish we'd gotten to hear him sing in the show, bet his voice actor (who did multiple character voices) would've killed it. :)
2/3/2017 c2 Mini Wolfsbane
Cuuuuuute as heck!

However, and I hope you've gotten better at this, thoughts, ect. don't really need
asterisks and things to make them stand out. Writing it like "She sipped the soda
long and thirstily.", just reads better. Remember, you're writing fanfic, not a play.
Descriptions are better then going the short route.

Falling in love, even beginning to, after meeting someone for the first time in one day is really unrealistic. It would've been nicer to see the relationship go on a few weeks and see them get to know each other before Fred or Helga thinking that they were in love. Same goes for them starting to date. Relationships do take time, after all!
Time skips help with this. Again, hope it's something you've improved on since writing this.

Despite these slight flaws, it's really cute and focuses on a character that doesn't get enough love in the fandom. Evo is the ONLY universe I actually like Freddy and find him interesting. I find him overused (no pun intended?) in other forms of X-Men where he lacks personality. At least in Evo, he was cute and had a bleedin' personality and was more than an overweight bully! You used this sweet side of his well as a jumping off point. Hope you write more about him in the future. You have a really good handle on his characterization, as far as I've seen.
11/16/2014 c11 7FlowerChild23
Aww that is so Sweet! Fred deserves some love!
10/28/2014 c11 Guest
good story i cryed
4/9/2014 c10 3Dark Lord of the X-Men
2/13/2014 c7 Dark Lord of the X-Men
AWESOME! A new chapter! and Helga is a mutant? AWESOME! KEEP IT UP AND PLEASE POST MORE! :D
1/11/2014 c1 Dark Lord of the X-Men
AAAAWWWWWWWW! Please post a second chapter, or a sequel to this! :D

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